Chapter Thirty-Nine
Billy's Very Bad Night and Even Worse Day
Billy Packer sat on a nearby fire escape, watching the front doors expectantly. He watched several of the part timers leave, and then Carlos left, and it was that point that Sally Kingler typically pulled down the gate. But strangely enough, she didn't this time. He pondered it for a moment, until he realized that the new girl that had waited on him that night hadn't left yet. Billy couldn't help but be quite interested in that, wondering if she lived nearby, or if her husband was going to show up to take her home. But after half an hour, Sally came over to the glass door, let a flying bug out, and then locked up, hitting the button to make the metal gate roll down over the front of the shop. Billy frowned in disappointment at that. So she wasn't coming out at all? Did that mean she was staying there? But if so, where was this alleged husband of hers?
Lights began to dim and security lights came on in the cafe, while upstairs, Billy saw windows light up on the second and third floors. Billy gazed at the front window on the second floor with interest; he hadn't seen that light on before and had assumed that particular room was probably used for storage. Suddenly, the top portion of the window slid down a few inches, despite the cool weather and despite the fact that he had not seen a hand tugging at the window, let alone any sort shadow on the shutters. He tilted his head slightly, and watched the room for nearly an hour before the lights finally went off. One by one, the lights in the other rooms went off as well, until the only light he could identify on those two upper floors were the hallway lights.
Satisfied that everyone had finally gone to bed, Billy slipped quietly down the fire escape and jumped to the ground. He pulled out a bag from where he had hidden it in the alley, sticking a wool cap on his head. Then he walked across the street and slipped back to a service door that was back between the cafe and an office building that housed several private practices. He had noticed on one of his first visits that there didn't seem to be any cameras near the door, which was quite strange in and of itself. There was only a doorbell and not much else, except for a sign laminated to the door that read simply, "No Entry." Still, there could be a hidden camera, so the moment he was off the street, he unfolded his cap and pulled down the ski mask, walking cautiously over to the door.
By the time he got to the spot where he had seen it, the door wasn't there anymore.
Billy stared at the spot where he was certain he had seen the door. There was nothing there other than a wall.
He turned around curiously and looked at the other building, which had a thick metal door that led out to a large trash bin. That door did seem to have a small camera, but fortunately it was further down the small alley and not really of any concern. Still, Billy couldn't help but walk closer to it, carefully attempting to avoid where the camera was pointed at in front of the door. The door with the camera didn't disappear like the other one had. But then, it didn't really lead anywhere interesting either. He turned around and stopped in his tracks, because the service door to the cafe was back; exactly where he had seen it from the street. Baffled and wondering if he had imagined it, Billy walked over to the spot where the door was. Once again, the door wasn't there anymore.
Maybe the door was just a laser image of some kind, he wondered, scanning the sides of the two buildings. But no, how could that be? He had seen them use this door to get deliveries from the butcher before, and unlike the rest of the businesses on that block, they never took the trash out of the front door except for recycling day. That door had to be there. It had to be. So what was hiding it? Was it some trick of the eyes?
Billy walked in both directions to get a good sense of where the door should be. Then he stood in front of where the door should have been and closed his eyes tight, putting his hands out and picturing what the door looked like in his head as he slowly walked forward. Finally, he felt something plastic under his hands and slowly opened his eyes, quite triumphant when he found himself touching the laminated "No Entry" sign. Feeling a lot more confident, Billy glanced at a lock near a metal doorknob and got out some tools, cautiously looking around before he reached for it.
But when his hand got close to the lock, the lock and doorknob slid to the other side of the door.
Billy stared at it. He stared at where the lock had been. He stared at where it was. Wondering if somehow he had stumbled into some sort of trick door set up by a YouTuber to foil crooks, he cautiously stepped over to where the lock was now. This time, while he had his right hand on the tool, he had the left hand on the door in hopes of blocking it from moving again.
When he got his hand close and it began to slide back to its original position, he futilely attempted to stop it, only to end up getting his left hand whacked hard against the metal doorknob as it whizzed past, nearly breaking one of his fingers. He bit his lip in pain and winced as he dropped his tools and held his hand, kneading it to try and get the pain under control. Well, maybe the third time's the charm, he thought, stooping down to pick up his tools. When he stood back up, he couldn't see the door anymore.
Fine, he thought to himself, pushing the face mask back up in his wool hat before walking back to the street. There were other ways in. When he got to the street, he leaned against the building and made a play at lighting a cigarette as an excuse to stand there and make sure that no one was walking on that side of the street that might spot him. Once it was clear of pedestrians, he leaned over to inspect the lock on the security grille. But as he got close to the grille, he heard a ferocious growl that reminded him of the sound of an angry lion. It was loud enough to make him jump and run back to the other corner, just in case anyone inside had heard it. Fortunately, no lights had come back on upstairs.
Feeling a bit unnerved but quite curious as to if he had tripped some sort of motion sensor, Billy cautiously stepped forward again. The moment he got close to the grille, the testy growl let him know he was getting too close and he was forced to step away again for fear of someone hearing it.
Billy sighed in frustration. He didn't know what company had done their security, but they seemed to have thought of everything, although he was baffled as to why they had chosen the sound of an angry animal rather than going with the standard blaring alarms found on most shops. He went back to lean on the brick office building and stared at the cafe in confusion, especially when his trained eye saw no signs of any motion detectors. He stepped back over just long enough to blow some smoke through the grille, looking for signs of a laser eye, but the smoke did nothing but make the growling lion noise sound even grouchier.
Reluctantly he walked back over to the other building, curiously looking for any stickers to indicate what security company they were using so that he could look up how to get around it on his iPhone. But for whatever reason he didn't see one displayed, nor did he remember even seeing a sticker on the door itself when the shop was open.
Well, Billy thought with a sigh, he still had one more avenue to try. He glanced up thoughtfully at the awning, eaves, drainpipe, and the bricks, quite certain that he could scramble up to the emergency fire ladder quite easily. The second floor window was still cracked open, and he was fairly sure from the design of the window that it could probably be lowered to the point he could shimmy through it.
Waiting until everything got quiet again, Billy put out the cigarette and quickly found purchase and climbed up on the awning, grabbing ahold of the emergency ladder and getting a foot over to the window sill. But not long after he got his balance and crept closer to get a hand on the window to try to open it further, the head of a very large, very strange bird popped out of the open window, and it looked far from happy. It trilled out in alarm, and then made a sound as if it were imitating a hiss, threatening to peck at him with its beak. Billy scrambled back desperately to try to grab hold of the ladder while the strange bird stretched out its very long neck, pecking at the intruder's hand as he retreated.
"Radiance?" he heard a woman's voice call out from inside. From the accent, he was quite sure it was the woman who waited on him that afternoon.
"Radiance! Get down from there! Someone might see you!" the woman scolded the bird while Billy scrambled up a level and tried to stay out of view. Fortunately, the irate bird was making enough noise that it had masked his own movements, allowing him the time he needed to hide himself. "Honestly, Radiance, stop that, this isn't like you at all! You know you can't be seen here. What is the matter with you? If I knew you were going to act like this, I'd have left you at Whitebridge. You are going to get us into trouble," she scolded.
Radiance ignored her, still chirping threateningly out the window. Suddenly, the bird let out a sound of protest as it got pulled away from the opening. There was a bright flash that made Billy blink and forced him to clear his eyes, and when he looked again, it appeared as if the window and the surrounding area was glowing. Slowly the glowing faded, and Billy could no longer hear what was going on inside the room, despite the fact that the window was open and the light had been turned on as the bird's owner attempted to calm down her strange exotic pet. Well, she wasn't going back to sleep any time soon, Billy decided, licking his bloodied hand. But it was just as well. Billy had more than his fill of weird crap, and he decided to go back to his van for the night.
When he got into the back of his van and laid down, he couldn't sleep. Instead, he got out his laptop and started looking up birds that had heads and necks like the one he had seen, and when he failed to find that, he began looking up companies that used lion growls and trick doors for security. Nothing he put in seemed to work at all, until he finally put in "Jennifer Snape," only to start getting articles about Lucky Snape and Dale Chance's wedding the year before, since Lucky's mother, it seemed, was named Jennifer as well. Billy frowned at that. Nah, it couldn't be her, could it? Even if Lucky was adopted and had gone to school in the UK, this Jennifer was too young to have raised her. It had to be a coincidence.
Somehow he managed to get some sleep before the morning noise of the city woke him. He rolled out of bed, paid for his parking, then went to the Y to get cleaned up for the day and to work out. He checked his online sales, mailed some packages, then delivered a handful of internet food orders before finally using a parking app to get a paid parking spot that was closer to the cafe. He walked over to Kinger's and Co. just after things had begun to die down in the late afternoon. Checking to make sure he had everything he needed, he went inside and glanced around to see that Jenny and Ruby were at the tables. Sally was watching the counters and helping Tamika prep orders at the takeout counter.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Marx. What can I get for you?" Jenny asked when she came up with a smile. Evidently, the other Jennifer... Jackie, he remembered, must have told them what his pseudonym was.
"The special and a coke," Billy said. "The new girl not working today?"
"Just on lunch break, actually," Jenny said, marking it down. "Well done, right?"
"Right," Billy agreed. "Hey, do you mind if I ask you something that is probably going to sound strange?" Jenny, who thought all of his questions sounded strange, simply smiled at him.
"Sure," Jenny said.
"The new girl said her name was Jennifer Snape. Is she related to Lucky Snape?" he asked curiously.
"Oh, yes she is, actually, she's Lucky's mother," Jenny said. "In fact, Lucky comes in here from time to time as well."
"That's amazing," Billy replied.
"No, not really. Despite her fame, Lucky's a very down to earth girl," Jenny assured him, then went back to fill his order.
Billy watched her go, but still couldn't help but think about it. Perhaps it was true then, he thought, turning to his phone and looking up Lucky Snape again. There could be no doubt that Lucky and Dale were very well off. Perhaps her mother was worth something too... true, it was too risky to actually consider something like kidnapping, but he couldn't help but fantasize about it. Then again, he couldn't help but fantasize about Jenny and Jennifer in general, and he wouldn't mind getting either one of them in a compromising position under the right circumstances... the presence of his drink interrupted his sordid daydreams. Instead, he thought about his exit plans after he robbed the place, drinking his soda through a metal straw as he contemplated how quickly he could get in and out of the area.
Still, that security last night was rather worrisome, he mused, scanning the corners of the room thoughtfully. There was not a single camera in sight anywhere, nor all that many good places to hide one, and only standard exit security lights and fire alarms. There had been no stickers on the doors at all... just what was it about this place? It certainly didn't seem like a soft target anymore. For some strange reason, it had always felt as if he was stepping into a different time when he came into Kingler's, but he had chalked that up to the ambiance. Now it was more as if he was stepping into another world altogether...
His chopped steak arrived, and after some quick pleasantries and a refill, it was Jenny's turn to go on her last break of the day. Billy watched with interest as the blonde beauty was replaced by the auburn haired one, and she seemed quite grateful to be allowed to wait on tables after being stuck behind the counter all day. It was then that Billy realized that Jackie was only out in the dining room when things were slowing down.
Jennifer stopped to refill drinks at the only other table that had people sitting at it. They had just got their order, however, and were likely to be there a while. Jennifer stepped over to his table with a smile.
"Finishing up?" she asked him. "If you want dessert, we have pumpkin pie and apple cranberry today."
"Pumpkin then, and maybe coffee to go with it," he decided, pushing away the soda. "Nice to see you, Jackie. They don't let you out here on the floor much, do they?" he asked. She grimaced slightly at that.
"I'm a bit out of practice," Jennifer admitted with a chuckle. "Watch, by next Sunday, Sally will be satisfied enough with my speed that she'll let me work out here during breakfast again... Sunday being my last day before going back to my normal job, of course. But that's all right, I suppose. I can't expect to be good at this when I only do it one or two weeks every year. I still welcome the change of pace."
"So this is fun for you?" Billy asked.
"Yes, exactly," Jennifer agreed with a smile, clearing his plates. "Be right back."
So she wasn't really working... she was playing at working, Billy thought, suddenly feeling a bit irritated at that. She didn't need the money, unlike most of the workers here, who more than likely were scraping by just to make ends meet. They were all stuck in this dead-end job, probably barely making rent and living paycheck to paycheck. He was still irritated about it when she came back around again, and she sighed with exasperation.
"For your information, everyone who works here gets paid a fair wage for the area, and many of them qualify to buy private shares in the company if they like. Don't be so critical! At least everyone here makes an honest living," she scolded him, pouring him some coffee and putting down the pie slice. "Enjoy the pie, I made it myself this morning," she added and walked away to check on the other table
Billy blinked, trying to make sense of what had just happened. It was if she had read his mind! What was he dealing with, aliens from another planet, he wondered? He looked at the bite of pie on his fork skeptically for a moment before reluctantly trying it and deciding it was pretty good. No, the idea of aliens running a cafe was silly. If aliens were going to do that, they'd have started one on the other side of town. Besides, she seemed human enough. Maybe she was some sort of psychic, he mused, watching her with interest as she cleaned a couple of the tables. Billy took another bite, deciding that the pie seemed normal enough. In fact, everything seemed normal, until he heard the sound of chimes and Jackie took a mirror out of her pocket, opening it long enough to glance at it.
"Sally, it's Severus chiming. Can I have a minute?" Jennifer asked.
"Sure, no problem," Sally said unconcernedly, reaching for the coffee pot.
"He's probably just wanting to know what the schedule is like for Thanksgiving," Jennifer explained.
"Well, tell him to feel free to come early," Sally said.
"I think he's planning to wait until after classes so it doesn't interrupt the boys' schoolwork, but they should be here by noon our time," Jennifer said.
"The man can't take off one day for this?" Sally exclaimed.
"I think he's trying to prove a point, showing his sister that there's no reason for the students to miss school for this, considering the time difference," Jennifer explained. "After all, it doesn't take more than half an hour to get here from Scotland even if we took the Portkey system."
"It must be nice to be able to get around that fast," Sally teased her.
"Really, Sally, if you ever want to go anywhere far, feel free to ask Alicia. It's not like you're not on the books as being able to use our methods," Jennifer said.
"That's only so I can visit you in London for Christmas on occasion. I have no intention of taking advantage of it," Sally said, making a fresh pot of coffee.
At the reminder, Billy attempted to get more of his coffee down so he had room in his cup in case someone came around again and concentrated on finishing off his pie. What exactly did she mean by "our methods"? What exactly did she mean by getting there from Scotland in half an hour? Maybe they really were aliens? And maybe this robbery wasn't such a good idea after all... no, he told himself angrily. He wasn't going to talk himself out of it again. It was the time of day when the registers were probably full and they hadn't had time to make a drop, and better yet, the other table with the family were getting up to leave, so the place would soon be empty.
Steeling his determination, Billy left a tip and then hurried out of the cafe. He quickly changed his clothes, checked his handgun, and grabbed his mask and cap, checking the gas level in his van. Then he rushed back over before anyone else came into the cafe, pulling down his mask and hurrying in with his gun drawn at the last minute. Cries of alarm went up behind the counter and Jenny and Ruby ducked behind the bar. Then he pointed his gun at Sally, who was out cleaning the tables.
"This is a holdup! Open those registers and the safe now!" Billy barked at her.
Sally looked neither surprised or distressed at having a gun pointed at her.
"You might want to put that thing away before you get hurt," she warned him. Billy stared at her.
"I said, put those dishes down and go open the registers, or I'll kill you!" Billy threatened. He heard a strange sound and looked around at Tamika, who had just pushed the button that brought down the security grille. "What are you doing? Get back from there!" he barked, pointing off to the side with the intention of firing a shot to let the girls know he had a real gun. But the moment he fired, the gun clicked in an unhelpful way, and he found himself desperately trying to clear it. Jennifer peeked out the door.
"What on earth... oh Billy, honestly! You decided to try it anyway!" Jennifer said with exasperation, then turned to the mirror in her hand. "No, it's nothing, Severus, there's just a little matter here that I need to take care of. I'll tell you about it later," she said to her mirror, snapping it shut and putting it away. "Now, put down that silly gun! You're only going to end up making it backfire and hurt yourself in the process. What is the matter with you?" she scolded him.
Furious that he was not being taken seriously, Billy got out a police taser and attempted to use it on Sally. She stood still and was quite wary of him, but she also didn't try to stop him. The moment it went off, he felt a tremendous shock in his hand and he hit the floor.
"Come out of the way, Sally. I'll handle this," Jennifer said, glancing at the grille already down over the entrance before pulling her wand out of her sleeve.
"What are you going to do, Jackie?" Sally asked curiously.
"I'm going to teach him that there's only one way he's going to get money out of us," Jennifer said, pointing her wand at him.
Suddenly Billy was pulled to his feet and was floating through the cafe towards the back room, a rubber apron flying off a hook and attaching itself around him before his feet were planted in front of the sink.
"I'm going to take off that silly mask of yours. We all know who you are already, Billy Packer," Jennifer informed him sternly and pulled off the mask. "Now, you are going to stand there until every single dish in this restaurant is done, so I hope you don't plan on going anywhere for a while... and washed by hand, if you please, the dishwasher is only for sanitation. You put the dishes in there after the fact. And I'll have you know that I'm not an alien, I'm a witch. There are also two other witches on the property, and you couldn't have picked a worst place in New York to try to rob, other than perhaps Lunette Vallid's private office. Now stop gawking and get to work!" she snapped, pointedly turning on the hot water to fill one of the sinks and forcing him to pump the soap dispenser with his other hand. In fact, it was that action that let him know that she could easily force his body to do it on its own if she wanted to.
"I could use some gloves," he murmured, showing his injured hand.
"Exactly what did you do to that hand, anyway? It wasn't like that yesterday," Jennifer pointed out.
"A bird pecked at it," he murmured.
"Oh, so it was you that Radiance was angry at last night? Are you a Peeping Tom as well as everything else, then?" Jennifer asked sternly.
"I was just trying to get in to rob the place!" he snapped at her.
"Yes, well, it's time you learned that the 'easy way' is often the hard way in disguise. Now get to it, before I take drastic measures," Jennifer said dangerously, standing there with her wand out and her arms folded as Billy reluctantly reached for the wash cloth. A pair of rubber gloves jetted out from beneath the counter and over his hands, reaching up to his elbows.
"Thanks," Billy murmured, and slowly began washing the dishes. The two of them heard the grille go up and some voices were raised for a moment. Jennifer ignored it, fixed on watching him to make sure he was actually making some progress and even correcting him a time or two when he didn't get something clean enough to suit her.
Just then Lunette ran into the back room, stopping short when she saw what was going on.
"Jennifer, what are you doing?" she exclaimed in surprise and exasperation.
"I'm teaching Billy how to do the dishes," Jennifer explained evenly.
"Just how many spells have you cast on him? You know how illegal that is here, right?" Lunette said firmly.
"Not at all," Jennifer said, Lunette blinking at her in sheer surprise. "This is a hybrid business, and he's a new hire."
"A new hire?" Lunette said skeptically.
"Yes, I hired him right after he foolishly tried to rob the place. He's our new dishwasher, can't you tell? Billy, stop staring and get back to work!" Jennifer snapped at him.
"Jennifer, even if he is a new employee, that still doesn't give you the right to cast on a non-magic employee," Lunette said.
"Actually, it does. I acted in self defense. Go check his gun if you don't believe me, he did try to use it, and he even tried to use that electric contraption on Sally," Jennifer argued.
"Then why didn't you call me straight away so I could send someone in here to arrest him?" Lunette asked with a sigh.
"Because he won't learn anything by sitting in jail," Jennifer said. "Billy, stop gawking and start scrubbing. Lunette is right, she very well can have you arrested for what you did. But I think it's time you woke up and realize that the world is a lot more complicated than your constant daydreaming makes it out to be. Just because you can research 'how to rob a business' on the internet, it doesn't make you an expert. In fact, you should have just stuck to breaking into cars since at least you're good at that. Honestly, Lunette, I have this under control." The two women stared at each other for a long time. In fact, it went long enough that Billy found it nerve-wracking.
"Alright, Jennifer. I'll go along with it on the condition that I give him his employment interview myself. If I see one thing I don't like in his mind, he's getting arrested for attempted robbery," Lunette said out loud.
"Fine, but you'll have to come back and do it tomorrow morning, because he's sitting detention with me until closing," Jennifer said stubbornly.
"What am I going to do with you?" Lunette asked in resignation, but obviously didn't expect a reply as she turned back to Billy. "You really did pick the wrong cafe to stick up... or maybe it was the right one, and you just got a lucky break. I guess time will only tell which it was," she decided, walking to the front. A few minutes later, after Billy successfully loaded the first round into the dishwasher, Sally came to the back.
"Are you going to be back here all night, Jackie?" Sally asked.
"Oh, yes, sorry, but someone is going to need to supervise, preferably someone magic," Jennifer said apologetically. "You're not sore at me, are you?"
"Not at all. In fact, remind me to tell you about the time that Rob did something quite similar once," Sally said with a smile.
"I don't suppose you have a spare room left somewhere? Billy's been sleeping in his car," Jennifer explained.
"Sure, but it needs cleaned up. You know I let those rooms go once the building's mortgage is covered," Sally said.
"No problem, Sally, I'll help him. It can be done in a flash," Jennifer said.
"I'd better get back to the front... I'll have Marlena spell you for dinner after the rush, Jackie," Sally said mischievously.
"You know that pun is really bad even for you," Jennifer said. Sally simply chuckled as she went back to the front.
"You can read minds, can't you?" Billy asked slowly. "That's how you know my name, and about the van."
"Yes and Judge Vallid can too, so do yourself a favor and be honest with her tomorrow morning," Jennifer warned. Billy looked over at her nervously. She chuckled. "No, not every witch can do it. It's pretty rare, actually. Now if you don't mind, get back to work... and don't put the spatulas in the bottom of the dishwasher. Put it where the glasses normally go or it won't survive the dishwasher, trust me," she said, turning his attention back to his work and refusing to give him a break until after the store had closed.