AN: Thanks goes out to my lovely reviewers: redhed311, Sofa King Danny, DeadKenny, Skampi, HMG, BlackNeonTears, Lilchicky004, Omusubi, and Tsuname. CHOCOLATE NUM-NUMS FOR ALL MY REVIEWERS!Just so you know, I have nothing against slash. In fact, I enjoy it. /Blushes/ Hehe, yeah. SO NO FLAMES FOR SLASH, KAY? Good.

Chapter 3, A.K.A. The Kyle/Stan/Wendy Love Triangle

One morning, a young Jewish boy woke up with a startling realization.

"I'm gay." He thought for a second. "Yep, I'm definitely gay. And…I'm in love with my best friend WTF!" He loved his best friend? That's impossible!

Readers knew this was happening. As soon as they saw the word 'slash' in the summary, the knew it was Kyle/Stan. They curse themselves for their stupidity

After those HIGHLY DISTURBING THOUGHTS, Kyle jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed and went to the kitchen for food, because he is smart and is therefore a morning person.

Several blocks away, Stanley Marsh woke up with a startling realization of his own.

Readers bang their skulls against the keyboard, wishing for an end to the stupidity

"I'm gay!" He thought for a second. "Yep, I'm definitely gay. And…I'm in love with my best friend WTF!" He loved his best friend? That's impossible!

Readers have an odd feeling of déjà vu

The morning passes quickly, i.e., the authoress cares about nothing except for the hot man/man action that is guaranteed to come and therefore doesn't WRITE about their mornings. Except for the inevitable bus stop scene, of course.

So Stan arrives at the bus stop last, because he is a high school jock and can't tell time. Stan and Kyle constantly glance at each other, and somehow both miss the sexual tension. Kenny can feel the tension, of course, because he's a man-whore who can smell sex ten miles away. Cartman has no idea what's going on because he's fat and stupid, but in a totally hot way, because the boys are sex Gods, remember?

"You are such a faggot," Cartman says. It's his job to come up with witty insults.

"Leave him alone, fatass!" shouts Stan. Kenny smirks knowingly, and Cartman doesn't care. Kyle is shocked at Stan's outburst. Could Stan be…no! What a ridiculous thought! Silly Kyle.

The bus arrives, and suddenly the boys are at school. The bus ride is never mentioned.

Stan goes to his locker, which is conveniently placed next to Kyle's. He opens it up and, shock, everything falls out. So he and Kyle bend down to pick up his things, and their hands touch. They both blush.

Slash shippers are screaming "Do it! Do it! Do it!" and the other half of the audience decides to flame the poor authoress even though SHE WARNED THEM about the slash

Wendy inexplicably shows up and ruins the romantic setting.

"Hi Stan! Wanna go ignore Kyle and make-out?" she cries in that voice of hers that has yet to soften even slightly.

'Hmm' thinks Stan, 'If I don't make-out with her, then all of my clearly gay classmates will think I'm fruity! Must snog the bitch!'

He promptly ignores Kyle and starts kissing Wendy, and passing students smile affectionately at the couple. They're so cute together!

Slash shippers start to cry

Kyle Feels tears coming to his eyes, and he burst out crying, as he runs away.

Slash shippers cry harder

He runs to the boys' room, because that's where everyone goes to cry or screw around.

He picks the stall in the corner, and hides in their, crying for a very long time. Possibly hours. All we know is that Kenny finds him and brings him to the lunch room, so him and Wendy can have a Horrible Argument over Stan.

So Kenny finds Kyle and successfully convinces him to come to lunch. We are never told what exactly Kenny says, but that does not matter.

Once at lunch, Kyle and Wendy begin a staring contest, each one sitting next to Stan.

Stupid people-Stan is in the middle

Wendy suspects Kyle has hidden feelings for Stan, because she is smart, and you have to be very smart to figure it out. Unless you're just horny, like Kenny.

"I know you have hidden feelings for my boyfriend, Kyle! But he'll never love you! He loves MEEEEEEE!" cries Wendy. Kyle glares, and starts his own rant.

"You speak LIES! He loves ME, because when Stan and I kiss more people go 'AWW!' We are the hotter couple! So BACK OFF!" Stan continues to eat, and no one notices the cat fight.

"This is gay," states Cartman. He's so witty!

"This is hot," states Kenny. He's so horny!

"Mmpff," states Stan. He's so full of food!

Kyle bitch-slaps Wendy, who cries and tugs on Stan's shirt. "Stan! Tell Kyle he can go be gay somewhere else because you love ME!" Stan looks from Kyle to Wendy, and realizes it's time for his Important Decision.

Readers know who'll he'll choose. But they continue to read, because secretly, they think it's hot

He looks at Wendy. "It's not you, it's me." Stan then jumps into Kyle's arms and kisses him full on the mouth.

"I love you! I always have! Wanna screw me?" Kyle beams.

"Of course!" The happy couple then runs off to the Broom Closet (you know the one) and starts to do…stuff…that can't be mentioned because Fanfiction . net doesn't allow NC-17 stuff.

Readers sigh happily, having their wish for fluff fulfillied. Flamers scream in rage and go read boring, hetero stories

Wendy, who should be hysterical after finding out that her boyfriend is gay, suddenly realizes her feelings for Cartman, and jumps into his lap.

"FINALLY!" says Cartman, and the two lovebirds happily kiss.

Butters comes out of nowhere and jumps on Kenny. "I LOVE YOU!" he cries. He and Kenny then begin to do…things…on the floor. Isn't young love precious?

So from then on South Park is completely accepting of homosexuality, and the boys' parents don't mind at all that they'll probably never have grandchildren. Cartman stops being a jerk because of Wendy's love, Stan becomes the best gay football player ever, and Kyle is a lawyer or something. Everyone lives in sweet marital bliss, even though they're only fifteen or sixteen years old.

It is…finito! Heh, I like this one a lot…I've seen thousands of these. SO, what did you think? Did it make you want to gouge out your eyes with the ANGER you felt at me? Or did you like it? I'd really like to know. Any ideas? SEND THEM TO ME! So review, my lovely…reviewers. Thanks!