Chapter 5—Acceptance
Olivia couldn't remember the last time she tossed and turned in excitement rather than sadness. She was having a hard time sleeping, but usually it was because she was sad. Tonight, and into the early morning, she was excited, anxious, happy, and filled with anticipation.
She felt like a child on Christmas Eve. She even felt if she didn't get to sleep Fitz may not show up in the morning. Just as a child is warned Santa won't come until they fall asleep, here thought Olivia, Fitz wouldn't. She was still skeptical but hoping she could win his heart. She didn't know that she already had it.
Before she took off her engagement ring and packed away the pictures of her and Derek, Olivia made a promise to herself. She would never forget his memory and all the time they shared together. She cried a good cry for an hour but knew what was best for her to move forward. Derek would understand and if was the other way around, she would want the same for him.
One thing the beautiful foliage in Vermont had taught her is things are going to change regardless of any resistance. Her two years of mourning and of grief had to change. She felt something for Fitz and him opening to her about changing himself only wanted her to get to know him better. So, that's what she was going to do.
She told her mother about tending to Fitz when he was hurt. She told her (and Fitz had no idea) how she would watch him sleep, making sure he didn't lose consciousness, and caressed his face every now and then while he was sleeping.
She told her mother about the sudden kiss and how she couldn't speak to him for two days. He never gave up though, and that's what pushed Olivia to open, and let her life with Derek be told to Fitz. Even after that, he was still so comforting and understanding.
When she finished telling mom about the wreaths and the dinner, Maya, as any mother could tell who has a closeness to their child, could feel that Olivia broke a barrier. She was happy for Olivia being brave enough to move forward. She was most grateful that her skills in the medical field remained intact. That news overjoyed her father.
She was able to tell him about the stitches and how easily it all came back to her. He was so happy for his daughter, not only that she had the skill in her, but she used them so willingly.
Maya put an end to the hour-long conversation by asking Olivia about her paintings. They were coming along she told her mom, and they were. The big canvass, the one saved for her final painting, remained empty, but Olivia was sure she would have her perfect pictures by Autumn's end.
These were her thoughts as she anticipated the sunrise. She couldn't wait to hear the knock at her door, oh who was she kidding, she couldn't wait to see him again, and her heart was pounding at the thought of it. Oh, what this man does to her.
Fitz lay awake just staring at the painting. He had been for a while now. He wasn't going to get much sleep. He was just thinking about walking with Olivia and talking in the morning. He had to laugh to himself. When was the last time he was looking forward to just talking to a woman?
This was it for him. He was giving all he has to Olivia. He bowed his head, shaking it, realizing the grief and pain she must have felt after Derek's death, but if she was willing to take a chance with Fitz, he wasn't going to disappoint.
He remembers her touch, slightly brushing his face, as he was in and out of sleep after he was hurt. Her presence above his body, knowing she was watching him was so comforting. He couldn't think of a woman he dated that would have done that for him.
Yes, Olivia Pope had his heart in a way no one ever had. He wanted so much to hold her, to caress her, and to let her know he would be her everything. He had to have patience though. He could see her barrier coming down slowly, so he would wait. He just had to get through the barrier before Autumn leaves.
His father openly admitted never hearing his son speak of a woman as he did about Olivia. He certainly never would have guessed he would cancel a month of partying with women on Caribbean Islands for a single woman in Vermont.
After hearing the effect Oliva had on Fitz, Big Gerry wished him well. Just don't slack off on taking care of the property and don't fall asleep on his responsibilities in Chicago and Santa Barbara, Big Gerry warned. Fitz had to reassure his father he wouldn't. If there was anything Olivia did, it was given him a better work ethic to be a better man.
The soft kiss at the end of their dinner date last night was still felt on his lips. Her lips were so tender and the way she caressed his curls, it was pure heaven. Oh, what he would do for her touch again. He looked again at the painting. Such talent, such beauty to be able to paint such a beautiful, colorful picture, he could stare at it all night, which in fact is what he was doing.
Olivia took a little time before answering the knock. She didn't want Fitz to think she was waiting for it to happen. She was standing by the door, pacing, as if she was going on a first date. She was dressed in warm black leggings, ankle boots, and a long-sleeved maroon sweater. She figured with the walking she shouldn't be too cold in the Vermont Autumn weather.
Three quick knocks startled her, even though she was expecting him. She hadn't known that he was standing outside the door for ten minutes now trying to slow his heart down. What on earth was wrong with him? He finally stepped up to the door and knocked. He was wearing blue faded jeans, tan work boots, and he had a long flannel shirt on over a thermal t-shirt. He was also carrying his NAVY hooded sweatshirt over his arm, just in case.
He had, in his hand that didn't do the knocking, a cup of tea. She had mentioned over dinner she liked chamomile tea with a spoonful of honey. He went out of his way to have the kitchen at the resort café have this prepared for her.
The door opened and he couldn't help but stare. She took his breath away. There was no other way to put it. She looked so refreshed and happy.
"Hi" he said.
"Hi back." She said.
He handed her the cup of tea. "Chamomile, one spoonful of honey, just as you like."
"Aww, you remembered. Thank you, Fitz. You look quite handsome this morning."
He looked down, and she could see his cheeks turn a slight red.
"Don't blush, I only speak the truth." She stepped out onto the porch.
"Well," he said as he put his arm around her shoulder, "you take my breath away Livvie."
She pushed closer to him with his embrace and nudged him with her shoulder. "I hope not, I am not tending to you if you need oxygen, not with all this beauty around me."
Fitz looked down at her. She was already looking up at the trees, the sunlight just making its way to peek through them. As quickly as she would look up, she would look down, stepping lightly on the leaves. "I love the sound of crunching leaves, but there's something sad about it also. They were once so alive up in their haven, now they are part of the Earth, destined to make the trees become beautiful again."
"Kind of like me,", she continued. "I felt I was down for the count, and here I am, with you."
"Yeah, you definitely add beauty to my life Livvie. You explain nature so well to me, it has me thinking. If the leaves can change without a fight, so can I."
They continued the path, talking about nothing and everything. When Liv finished her tea and tossed the cup in a bin on the trail, she rubbed her arms.
"Are you cold Olivia? Take my sweatshirt. "
"No, I am good," Before she knew it though, he was pulling it down over her head and she accepted it. She brought the long sleeves to her nose. "Smells like you, Fitz."
"Is that a good thing?"
"That's a great thing. Thank you."
"So, what's the one thing you need to make your picture complete. What's that one thing holding you back from perfection, dare I ask?" Fitz now interlocked her hand with hers and they walked like that for a while.
"Seeing the trees from overhead. I would like to look down and see that overhead beauty I told you was on the poster. It would just be a blended picture of all the colors, all the trees. It would really put my mind in motion." She shrugged.
They continued their walk and stopped at the café to have brunch. Liv talked about growing up in the city, her parents, and choosing the medical field. Fitz listened hanging on to every word.
What he really wanted to know was how she knew about his lifestyle. He just couldn't find the right way to ask her, since everything was going so well. He decided to wait on that topic and just let things flow.
Fitz walked her back to her cabin. His arm was around her shoulders again, but this time, her hand was around his waist. He didn't want the day to end, but he had to get back to the office to do some paperwork. "Same time tomorrow?" he asked as he turned and faced her on her porch.
"Sure, this was great. Maybe tomorrow on the trail we can talk about little Fitz. Also, I will test you and see if you can identify the leaves that changed overnight."
"Oh boy, I was never good at taking tests, but sure, little Fitz it is. I'll see you tomorrow Livvie."
She stepped close to him, wrapping her hands around his waist again and looking up at him. He looked down at her and she closed her eyes. She felt his lips brush hers, and she moved in closer, so the kiss went deeper. Not too much deeper, but deeper than a soft kiss, and he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"See you tomorrow, Fitz." She pulled back, closing the door and biting her bottom lip. She felt the shiver go down her body as she shook the feeling away. Tears filled her eyes for a moment then she realized she kept his sweatshirt. At least she had that until the morning. She picked up her burner phone and finally gave her best friend Abby a call.
Abby was more than ecstatic to hear all about the new life Olivia was making for herself. They talked for well over two hours as Olivia brought her best friend up to pace.
While Olivia was on the phone with Abby, Fitz made his way back to his office. Adam was there in the lobby to greet him. "Good afternoon, Boss, how you doing today?"
Fitz grabbed Adam's cheeks, squeezing them together, "Adam, my boy it certainly is a good afternoon." He let his cheeks go.
Adam was looking cautiously at the man. "Umm, what has gotten into you?"
"Nothing at all, have you looked outside. It's a beautiful Autumn Day. Oh, and here, this is for you. He placed a leaf in Adam's hand. Notice the colors on it? Isn't the change from green to gold and red just magnificent? Enjoy, I'll be in my office, no interruptions. Ahh, wait, if Ms. Pope interrupts, then that's fine. See ya later Adamgator."
Adam stood there speechless, as if he had just encountered an alien form of life. He held the leaf up in his hand. It was a nice colored leaf. The colors were different. Wait. He shook his head, what was he thinking?
He placed the leaf down and it hit him. Olivia, that's what has Fitz on cloud 9 up in Mars. He's head over heels for that woman. Adam heard the bell to the door being opened and he shook his head to greet the customer. "Certainly, can't blame him for that." He whispered to himself as he greeted the customer.
For the next three days, each day was routine as the first. Fitz would arrive with tea. They would walk arm in arm or arms around and discuss nature and life. Olivia was able to show Fitz that trees do indeed change overnight.
"They can change by losing more leaves, or by more leaves changing color. Let me show you." She asked for his phone. She snapped a picture of a gorgeous sycamore tree, the one with the pointy leaves. "Let's see how this changes overnight ok."
She found a cluster of leaves on the tree, not too high up, just having the green fade away. She snapped a few pictures and handed the phone back. "We'll do a science experiment; it will be fun."
She was looking up at the tree and Fitz snapped a picture of her beauty mixed with her passion. It was a stunning picture of her, mainly because she didn't know he took it. This was being printed and he was putting it on his desk.
By the third walk the Sycamore's cluster of leaves had turned from the green to an unimpressive brown and yellow color. They stood looking up at the tree and as they were looking, one of the leaves let go and slowly made it's way right on top of Fitz's head.
Liv looked away, laughing with her body shaking. "Sorry Fitz." She tried to cover her mouth, but her laughter overtook her.
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead, get your laughs," Fitz laughed with her.
She stepped to him and reached up to grab the leaf from his head. He pulled her close and tight to him and planted his lips on hers. It was their deepest kiss yet, deeper than the first unexpected one, and Liv fell to him, pulling closer and grinding her body with his.
She realized what she was doing, and she pulled away. She placed her hand over her mouth. Her body was giving a response she wasn't familiar with to another man, and she wasn't comfortable with it. She enjoyed it, but she just wasn't ready for it.
She dropped the leaf, eyes filled with tears, and looked at Fitz. "I am so sorry." She took off and ran towards her cabin before anything more could be said.
When she arrived back to her cabin, she undressed, and as she had been sleeping in it each night, she grabbed his sweatshirt. It was just that article of clothing and her underwear she would wear to bed, now she wanted to smell him close to her body.
She put on her painting smock and grabbed her small canvass. As she had done with their other walks, she began to paint the foliage of the Sycamore tree. The difference in this painting was Fitz. He would be in this one, he wasn't in the other ones.
She needed him in this one because this was the first time her body responded in a sexual desire for him. She felt the feeling go through her as her kiss deepened and it scared her. She needed a painted picture of them kissing under the Sycamore.
It was such a happy moment then it turned to confusion. Fitz didn't want to push the issue, so he walked back to his office. Adam noticed the change in his behavior as he walked in, shoulders slumped into his office. He didn't even say hi, as he closed his door.
Adam hoped everything was alright. He would hate to see Fitz's heart broken.
Fitz hooked his phone up to his computer and popped the picture of Liv on screen. He daydreamed for a few minutes. He still felt the kiss, and what it caused to this body. He doesn't think she felt his response, although it was difficult to hide.
The only guess Fitz had was she felt something also and that's what spooked her. "Oh Livvie." He rubbed his finger over the screen as he hit the print button. "You are so beautiful yet complicated, but I love you."
He stared at the picture as he heard the printer, and he suddenly had an idea. He jumped out of his seat and ran into the lobby. Adam almost fell off his chair it scared him so much. "Boss, what's up?"
"Do we still have the key to the gate? The gate to the Overlook Bridge?"
"Sure do, we just haven't opened it yet, just waiting for the final…."
"Yeah, the final renovations, I know. Give me the key."
Adam handed the key over. "You taking Liv up there?"
"Absolutely am, can you have a picnic lunch made for us from the café. Two salads and two sandwiches please, and two sweetened iced teas, please?" He went back into his office where he would plan his day tomorrow with Olivia after some final paperwork needed to be sent to his father.
When she had finished, she was exhausted. All her anticipation, excitement, and nervousness had finally taken its toll on her. She looked at the painting. She had captured the Sycamore before its changing leaves, bringing out the figures below it a bit better.
Looking without strain, you could see two figures, lip locked as the Sycamore umbrellaed them in the shadows of the sun. She hadn't realized at the time, but the hands were interlocked as they shared such an intimate kiss. She took a deep breath. She put the canvass off to the side to let it dry.
While she still had some energy, Olivia began to go through her canvasses. She ordered them from the date of painting, the first one being of Fitz's eyes, their hand on the leaf in between, and all the fall scenery she had seen on her morning walks with Fitz.
The final one drying off to the side, Olivia stepped back and looked at her organizing. One thing playing over again in her mind, she was no longer falling in love with Fitzgerald, she was in love with him.