A/N: Thanks to a suggestion from BratChild2 (Yes, THE BratChild2) this is the Kyle/Cartman cliché. Personally, I don't like this pairing, and I have NO IDEA how people came up with it….I'm more of a Kyle/Stan person….ANYWAY, this is my mocking of it…if you like this pairing, I am terribly sorry. I do not mean to offend any of you.

Chapter 6, A.K.A. Kyle realizes that his hatred of Cartman is actually love

It's a beautiful morning in South Park. The perfect day to run outside and throw rocks at passing cars. Sadly, our boys are waiting for the bus to South Park High, and a certain Jew and fatass are arguing yet again.

The so-called "argument" basically consists of a few generic insults, with more emphasis on the long stares the two gave each other. There might even be a "fight" scene, but that usually comes later, when the authoress is running out of ideas.

Readers skim over the bus stop scene, because they only want to see Cartman realize his true feelings and love for Kyle, and they care nothing for actual plot. They want their smut, dammit!

At school, Cartman passes many notes to Kyle, depicting what a fag he obviously is.

"Hey Kyle," Cartman hisses during some unimportant class, "Hehe, look at this, Kyle….it's you, getting beaten up by ME! HA! 'Cause you're weak, and a fag….faggy faggy fag-fag!"

These mind-numbingly brilliant insults cause Kyle to burst into tears, and run screaming from class.

Nobody notices.

Readers wonder why Kyle receives so little attention in school, and why, if Cartman is hissing so loud, no one notices him. The teacher must be mentally handicapped

As Kyle runs from the class, flailing his arms around and screaming through the hallway, Cartman is struck by an over-powering sense of…..guilt? Yes, Eric Theodore Cartman feels guilty.

Readers choke on their soda and gum in complete and utter surprise. Cartman? Guilty? Surely they must be mistaken!

Cartman is deeply confused at this new emotion. Why would he feel bad for a scrawny, stupid, cute, annoying…wait…..did he just think cute? HE MUST HAVE THE AIDS!

Thinking quickly, he comes up with a brilliant diversion so he can go find Kyle.

"You're a big fat stupid bitch, hoe!" he screams up at the teacher. Then he points to Craig, who the teacher promptly yells at. Snickering happily, he scampers out of the room to find his beloved Jew.

Note: Kyle must be reffered to as "Kyle", "Jew", or "The smarter of the boys" at all times. Why? Shut up, that's why

Kyle, being the smarter of the boys (so original), had found an INGENIOUS hiding location: the janitors closet. I mean, c'mon, who ever checks there?

"I pity myself!" he sobs. "Angst emo angsty angst angst emo angst!" He's so misunderstood!

Readers have a mental image of goth Kyle. They decide no more Red Bull before bed

Suddenly, Cartman barges in. Kyle is shocked. He did not hear Cartman's massive form thundering through the hallways, or the banging on the door and the frantic calls of "KYLE!". That would make too much sense.

"Oh Kyle," says Cartman, beginning his Heroic Speech, "I'm so sorry I offended you with my racial slurs and rude remarks! The truth is…..I love you!"

Readers silently curse their love of Red Bull and internet smut

Kyle stops crying and looks up. His beautiful emerald eyes (They have to be emerald. Always) shining with tears. "Oh Eric! I love you too!"

Cartman beams and glomps the little Jew, and some extremely graphic tonsil hockey ensues.

The rest of the day consists of Kyle and Cartman forgetting any past argument they ever had, and instead feeling each other up in the hallways, and they even give each other cutsie nicknames.

'I wuv you, snookums," Kyle purrs as he hugs Cartman happily. Cartman pets his hair and kisses his forehead.

Readers have just died a little inside

But alas, there is a problem! For you see, Stan and Kenny know nothing of this forbidden relationship. What to do?

Several long and boring paragraphs depicting the severe problem later…….

Kyle and Cartman held hands and walkied into the cafeteria. Openly gay in public, they must be mad!

But they enter the cafeteria anyway, despite the ominous music playing in the background. Everyone stops talking as they watch the pair cross the room and walk to a conveniently placed microphone.

"Attention everyone," says Kyle, "Snookums and I have an announcement to make. We are ……gay." A collective gasp fills the room.

"Let's mock and pelt fruit at them to express our confused teenage feelings!" someone shouts.

"WAIT!" screams Stan. "Kyle…..Snookums…..I understand, and I fully support your relationship."

Kenny stands up. "Me too. I'm bi, with, like, everyone, so it's cool." He pinches Butters butt to express his point.

Next Craig stands, followed by Tweek, Clyde, Pip, and a number of other students, all of them expressing their horniness. Oops, I mean gayness…..or both. Whatever.

Slowly, someone starts a clap. Soon there is thunderous applause, and everyone is happy. Smiling, Kyle kisses Cartman on the mouth, and all is right with the world.

Basicallly, everyone is bi, and they have lots of orgies together. They go to pride parades, eat ice cream, and watch Terrance and Phillip……everything worked out good for once. Until the male pregnancies began…but that's a story for another day.

Like it? Hate it? Adore it? Please tell me! I really appreciate your reviews; you guys seriously make me laugh, blush, stare confused at the screen….um, yes, please review! All ideas are appreciated and will most-likely be used! Thanks!