Chapter 3

Mr. Hob walked down the white, sterile halls of the "non-existent" facility somewhere near the rim worlds where it was easy to hide things that did not exist. The facility was very similar to the Academy. Mr. Hob walked down the hall until he came to a door accessed by a card. He took his ident card out of his jacket and slid it through the card reader. The little light changed from red to green. He opened the door and walked into a room. His room was also sterile and white. It had a large viewing window at the opposite side of the room. A doctor dressed in white stood before a panel with various buttons and dials in front of this window. Mr. Hob stood next to the doctor.

"How is the project coming?" Hob asked. The doctor looked at this man with blue gloves. He was definitely intimidated.

"It is ready to be implemented, sir," the doctor responded.

"Yes," Hob replied. "How far is your clearance in this project?"

"I have full knowledge of all the details of this project. It's revolutionary," the doctor answered.

"Oh, something will have to be done about that." Hob reached into his jacket and pulled out his rod. The blue spicules extended from it and he held it horizontally before him. He faced the doctor.

"What are you doing?" the doctor asked in fear. The rod began its electrical whirring. The doctor began to bleed out of his facial orifices and fingernails. The doctor yelled in pain as all the blood drained from his body. The doctor dropped dead in a pool of his own blood. Hob replaced his rod of death. He turned to look through the window. The doctor was right, this was revolutionary. The bright future was at hand with fully expendable soldiers. They would fight for it, but be unable to live in the future. They could not feel guilt, because they had no soul. They had lost it.

The ship had been repaired. Mike had launched the ship, initiated auto pilot, and set its course to Greenleaf. At this moment, Mal, Zoë, Jayne, Kaylee, Simon, River, and Mike were eating a dinner that Kaylee prepared with Simon's help in the ship's dining area. Everyone had enjoyed dinnertime conversation, except Michael, who had remained silent and just ate.

After everyone finished eating, they continued their conversation. Michael crossed his fork and knife and placed them on his plate.

"Well, that was one of the best meals I've ever had in my life," Michael added during a lull in the conversation. Everyone was almost shocked to finally hear him say something. "Kaylee is quite the cook."

"I did help," Simon added.

"You didn't speak at all during dinner," Kaylee spoke. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no," Mike replied, "That's just how I was raised."

"What do you mean?"

"When I was growing up," Mike began, "My father told me and my siblings not to speak during dinner. He was always concerned because I was so thin. He thought I should spend my dinner time eating, not speaking."

"Where were you raised anyway?" Jayne asked as he helped himself to what was apparently a third or fourth helping of food.

"I grew up on Ruritania," Mike answered.

"You don't have a German accent," Mal added.

"Everyone here speaks Chinese but you don't have Chinese accents," Mike explained, "However, Ich kann Deutsch sprechen." Everyone looked at him as if they could not understand what he just said. "That means, literally, 'I can speak German.'"

"Oh," everyone spoke in unison.

"What did you do before you found this ship anyway?" Simon asked.

"When I was 19," Mike began, "I joined the Swiss Guard. You know what that is, right?"

"They defend the Catholic Church's headquarters on New Rome," Simon replied. "Their ranks are chosen only from the citizens of Ruritania."

"Correct!" Mike said emphatically. "I served in their ranks for 3 years. Then I took to traveling the galaxy for a while. I went to some interesting places." Mike took a small white cardboard box with a Blue Sun logo out of his pants pocket. River saw it. "Do you know that there is a moon where the primary form of entertainment is juggling baby geese?"

"Wash told me about it. He told me he spent some time there," Zoë responded. Mike subversively opened the box and pulled out….a cigarette. It was a mostly harmless box of cigarettes.

"Really," Mike stated as he placed the cigarette in his mouth and got out his chrome-plated lighter, "Small 'verse."

"Hey, what are you doing?" Mal demanded with authority. Mike looked back innocently.

"Just smoking a cigarette," Mike answered. "Is that a problem?" Mal thought about it awhile.

"Well, no," Mal responded. "Just no one on this boat smokes." Mike appeared taken aback.

"You mean to tell me that none of the men on this gorram boat smoke," Mike said.

"I used to," Jayne answered.

"Why do you smoke anyway?" Kaylee questioned.

"He's scared," River interrupted. "When he smokes, he doesn't think of his fear, but it doesn't make it go away. So, he smokes more, a lot." Mike looked at her strangely.

"That's unsettling," Mike finally said.

"I guess I should have told that she's a reader," Mal stated nonchalantly.

"She reads minds?" Mike asked. Mal nodded. "You might want to tell a guy that before he takes a job on your boat." Mike finally lit his cigarette and took a drag. "Anything else I should know."

"Me and Zoë thought in the Unification War as Independents," Mal added.

"I knew that." Mike said knowingly.

"Really."

"The context clues are everywhere. You don't like the Alliance, you were wearing a brown coat when we met, and you named your ship Serenity." Kaylee sought to change the subject.

"I heard smoking was bad for you." Kaylee said to Mike.

"No, that's an urban myth," Mike replied as he puffed on his cigarette.

"It's true," Simon supported.

"On Earth-That-Was," Mike began, "Cigarettes were toxic. They enhanced the addictedness of the tobacco with tar, rat poison, and acetone. Then it occurred to them after Earth-That-Was died that if it kills you, you can't buy more. So they figured out a way to make it just as addictive but not as toxic." He showed everyone the logo on his cigarettes. "God bless Blue Sun." River screamed and stood up. Everyone was shocked, but most of all Mike. The cigarette fell out of his mouth and he cowered in his seat in fear. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee," he began quietly. "Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." Simon stood up.

"River, calm down," Simon said calmly. River just stood there in shock. Then, just as sudden, River sat down with a placid look on her face, as if nothing happened. Simon sat down but, everyone continued to stare at her in shock. Mike looked up at the ceiling.

"Danke mein barmherziger Gott!" Mike whispered in relief. Then he looked at everyone. "Okay, anyone need help cleaning up?" He said as he smiled.

Danke mein barmherziger Gott: German "Thank you merciful God!"