Part 2: Ren Amamiya

Once school had ended, I made my way to the train station and opted to take the direct route - the train for it was cancelled I opted to head for Shibuya. Having taken off from school as soon as possible, I could at least put the thoughts on my mind to the back of my head with work happening soon. That ended up being a naively positive thought as Kamoshida decided he would call me.

"What?"

"Hmph. So you can be bothered to answer your phone."

"If you're calling to start a fight, I'm going to put the phone down now."

"Relax. Like I want to see your pretty face turn ugly from you getting mad."

"So what have you rang me for? I'm not really in any mood to talk with you."

"Ann, what goes on in the volleyball team is none of your business."

"What do you mean, it's not my business?!"

"Exactly that. You're coming at me with this awful rage as if I'm the only one responsible for this national award winning team. You know that it's not only me who decides whether someone makes the cut or not - the two deputy coaches also give their opinions and we balance them out to make the judgement."

"You said that you'd give her a proper evaluation!"

"And you said you loved me."

"..."

"That girl has had more of my time than I know of as well as my wonderful advice, tips and pointers. If she used her common sense and applied them the way I told her to, then she might actually accomplish something. Why are you acting as if you're the one who this affects?"

"She's my best friend, that's why!"

"...I don't appreciate the attitude darling. Don't make me put down this phone or there will be consequences. What's the deal between you and that transfer? He bullied Suzui into talking to him and then you went and dragged him away. There'd better be nothing between you and him. He's nothing more than a menace who doesn't belong at Shujin!"

"Nothing's going on between me and the transfer!"

"Even though you brought Sakamoto with you afterwards? You aren't jealous of him and Suzui are you? Don't joke with me Ann."

"I'm not joking about that!"

"As long as you aren't pimping yourself to him, then it's fine."

"As long as that's clear."

"Whew. I'm feeling good now that I know you're staying true to our promise. I want you to come with me to spend the afternoon together. I want to gaze at your gorgeous face just a LITTLE longer."

"…You want to what?…Sorry, I've got work to go to."

"Is that so? What a shame. We could've had a lot of fun today but I guess you need to do what you do to pretty yourself up for me. Can you not stop to spend any time with me at all?" Kamoshida thought he could try and be sexy by saying this in a begging voice but it came off as downright creepy. I don't want to see you - what's so hard to get about that?!

"I need to go home and sort myself out."

"Fine. I won't pester you any more today but you'll need to spend some time with your man on another day. I want to see you whilst you're still young and hot and I don't want to see another man with his hands on you."

"Okay, maybe another time. Bye." What a fucking creep. Who's he to call me when he knows I'm busy? To interrogate me on the most ridiculous of things and then expect me to show up when he snaps his fingers?! What the hell did I ever see in him to spend so much time with him and why wasn't I thinking straight last year? I seriously regret choosing to go to him to get help for Shiho. Over the past few months, the main thing we've spoken about is none other than volleyball. She's been putting everything she has into improving her skills - far more than some of the other girls who I know have put in far less effort and still ended up on the team. Not to say that those girls are rubbish - they have definitely gotten better compared to when they got in but Shiho can surely hold a candle compared to them. Shiho's gotten injury after injury pushing herself so far - why can't the judges see the heart and determination she has? All I can do now is cheer her on the best I can.

"..." Of all the people to see, it has to be the blasted transfer?!

"...Ren?"

"Hey, so…" Why are you even here? It hasn't been that long since I left school - I left straight away. Aren't you supposed to be with Ryuji around now?

"Were you listening in?"

"Not just me. Everyone around you heard you yelling." I took a look around and I saw random strangers and passers-by who were looking at the two of us like we were a couple. God, this is embarrassing. The timing of that phone call and this transfer was horrible.

"Ugh. Could this day get any worse?" Pipipipi. Now what? I took a look at my phone to see who was ringing and it was my line manager at S**oru Japan. I know I rang her earlier to say that I'm coming in.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ann. You called earlier letting us know that you were able to make the photo shoot today?"

"Yes, I'm available today."

"It seems that there's been a misunderstanding on our side. You won't actually need to come to the shoot today."

"What do you mean? I made room in my schedule to come in today."

"I understand your frustrations, Ann. When I'd found out about it, I went straight to the director and the photographer to find out what had happened. I was told that the shoot was to be taken with another model, Lila, and whoever else was hired would receive their pay for the day due to the last minute nature. My manager had accepted this compromise which has led us to this situation. I sincerely apologise for this today."

"Why was today's shoot given to someone else?"

"Ann, you've taken on more shifts compared to the other models in your age demographic. We take your health very seriously and whilst I admire your enthusiasm, you're not trying to put your life on hold are you?"

"No, that's not it. I just want to know why."

"Unfortunately, I can't tell you Ann."

"You can't tell me?"

"The reason I can't tell you is because I don't know myself. Again, this isn't usually what happens during a shoot. I will take it on myself to discuss with the photographer and director. You'll have to wait until I do so we can get to the bottom of this."

"I see. I understand."

"I'm truly sorry that all I can offer you right now is apologies Ann. Seeing as you weren't notified of the sudden change, I will ensure you get to do the next shoot for that photographer and if he has a problem, he can take it up with the regional director."

"You want me to go to the next shoot instead."

"Yes. How does Friday evening sound?"

"That'll work for me."

"Don't worry about your salary - you'll be paid in full and this won't affect what we pay you for future shoots."

"Thank you. Goodbye." What is happening right now? Why has these past few days gone so horribly wrong?! All of you need to stop looking at me like that - am I nothing but a joke to you all?…no way….not now…I can't take this shit any more. I'd felt so overwhelmed from everything that had happened yesterday that all I wanted to do was sleep when I got in. The emotions I should have had must have finally surfaced as I crouched down on the floor, covered my face and began to cry. Ren, the stubborn transfer that he is, didn't leave for whatever reason. Why are you still here? You know I don't particularly like seeing you or what you're about. What the hell does any girl, let alone Shiho, even see in you?

"Can you please go away Ren? I don't want to see anyone right now."

"I'm not gonna leave you alone Ann."

"Please just go! My day's been pretty horrible and I feel like I'm going to say something I regret to you if you don't."

"..." Ren, why are you looking at me like that? How much more obvious can it be that I want to be left alone?! Can't you tell I'm not in the mood to talk and even if I did, what will you be able to do for me?

"You can say what you like to try but it wouldn't do a thing to me."

"Just what's with you?"

Apparently, Ren wasn't all too familiar with Shibuya and he'd only ever went through the subway station - he's never visited the subway station's mall either meaning it was down to me to show him around. How ironic. You're insisting we go somewhere but you don't even have a place in mind for us to go. Telling him that will only lead to a crass joke, won't it? We headed into the city centre and seeing as I didn't have a place in mind either, I figured I could at least let him have some pride as a man and choose where we eat. After walking around for aimlessly, he ended up settling on the diner that was opposite hmv. Hmm…not really a spot where I'd desperately want to go but it's not awful. What a safe option, transfer.

I wasn't really paying much attention to what Ren was saying but it seemed like he'd sweet talked the waiter into providing a booth for us two. Did he imply we were on a date or something? Urgh…how's someone who lacks social etiquette able to finesse the way he did? NOT that I think it's special or anything! At least he'd considered that we'd need to be far from other diners. I wasn't particularly feeling hungry but it would be rude to enter and not buy something so I ordered a raspberry green tea. Ren ordered a steak and once he began tucking into it, it was like I didn't even exist. He was cherishing each and every bite like it was his last and seeing his expression, I thought to myself: Minus the blind confidence and incessant jokes, he's not such a bad person to be around. I waited until he finished to take this chance to begin talking with him.

"You really took your time with that steak."

"Sure did. It reminded me of home."

"Do you miss your home?"

"Sometimes. Aside from my family, I miss a few of the people I knew there. Not that that may be reciprocated." Oh…the Ren I saw yesterday didn't give off any notion that he would ever care enough to miss anyone.

"I guess not. When you're not being a smug prick, you actually can be nice to talk to."

"Woah, calling me a prick when you're quite prickly yourself? Ow!" THUD! I gave him a good kick to the knee. You ass. I gave you a compliment and that's what you come at me with? You better be really glad that I didn't kick your manhood where it REALLY hurts.

"You want me to leave right now?"

"No. Seriously, I don't want that."

"Hmph. The rumours of you are pretty overexaggerated. You're a piece of work but you just aren't a bad guy."

"Nah, I'm a really dangerous person." Why did you bring me here? I'm grateful that you allowed me to calm down but with that mystery mind of yours, there's more isn't there?

"...No, you aren't. You didn't bring me here just for idle talk did you?"

"No. There were two things. First, I'll hear you out and let you talk about your day. Second, I wanted to see if I could change your mind on helping us with Kamoshida. Speaking of him, he was the person on the phone with you when I saw you, right?"

"..." Wait wait wait! How do you know that? You've never seen the two of us together at all. We've kept enough distance to not bring attention to ourselves…..Oh. The palace wasn't it?

"Yeah, thought so."

"What about it?" I didn't realise how irritated I sounded when I said that but Ren either didn't care or wasn't offended. The next question he asked though…

"You're seeing him, aren't you?"

"Ren, keep your voice down!" Why did you have to say it bluntly? Was that the reason that you didn't really talk much to me when we were escaping the shadows?

"...Yes. There's no point hiding it with someone like you is there?"

"I only have one question about it: Why?"

"Shiho had told me about her volleyball coach who'd rejected her joining the team several times. After the third, I met him and asked about what had happened. He told me that if I wanted to know, I should continue seeing him outside of school. At the time, I wasn't thinking straight and I'd chosen to go with him. I thought that if I'd made him happy and spent time with him, he'd let me in and listen to me…" No. I need to stop telling him these things. Why am I not stopping?

"...There were times where we really did enjoy each other's company too you know? I got to see the person behind the Olympic gold medallist! It was a delusion of mine in the end because even then, he still denied her again last year. I'd been pretty irritated and I wanted to break off the relationship. He knew that leaking information about us would hurt him far more than it does me so he'd threatened to ban Shiho from trying out for the volleyball team and he would also tell her about us…" Ren, your face has remained unchanged even as I'm telling you. What are you thinking about?

"...He told me that I needed to keep seeing him and to avoid spending time with other guys. Thanks to work, I don't have to see him as much as before but even now, I don't enjoy being around him. Now he's gone and denied Shiho again and he expects to see me so we can catch up? The nerve!"

"..." Ren? You're scaring me a little.

"He's scummy but I couldn't bring myself to hurt Shiho like that. If she were to find out, I don't think I could carry on being friends with her - she'd be done with me. Unlike Ryuji, I've known her since I was a little girl and we've always been in each other's lives. I don't want to lose her."

"..." Ren, say something! Anything!

"Ren, can you say something please?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Wh-What?" Huh?

"You heard me. How is lying to Shiho, your best friend since childhood, not hurting her? She's putting in so much time and effort into upping her volleyball technique and skill, to the point that she's picking up injury after injury which I know you've noticed." What kind of- Of course I've noticed it! Why are you acting like I've been a shitty person?!

"You're supposed to be her inspiration - if you truly believed in her, you'd encourage her with every last fibre of your body and give her all the advice and tips you could find and not resort to offering yourself like a trophy to that scummy bastard." YOU FUCKING- SLAP! I couldn't hold back with that slap not after all of that. You're flat out calling me a whore, looking down on me like I'm worse than you are you prick! Guests around the diner had turned around to snoop on us before turning back around. I can't hold back my anger any more thanks to you.

"You don't need to say it so bluntly!"

"But I do. Sure, when you'd started, you were confused and didn't know what to do. But what about after that? There were surely alarm bells ringing during your moments with him - thoughts going 'does he really care about me' and 'what am I to him' and you chose to ignore those thoughts. And then when he rejected Shiho's try-out the fourth time; what did you do when Kamoshida threatened you? You cowered and ran." Cowered and ran? COWERED AND RAN? It's not that simple to look at it that way, Ren.

"No…it's not like that."

"Yes it is. You had the evidence that you needed to get your way. You had the chance to counter him with the photos the both of you took and your message history. You could have discreetly brought it up with Niijima on the student council and had the disciplinary committee investigate it. It would end with Kamoshida's dismissal." How? What could she have done? It would've been ignored and treated as a smear campaign. She wouldn't respect my privacy either.

"...Ren, please stop."

"It would end up revealing the details of you and Kamoshida to Shiho. And you don't think she's tough enough to handle it. Or is it that you'd feel too ashamed to look her in her eye knowing that deep down, you never really believed in her?" FUCK YOU, REN! I've seriously had it with you right now!

"Enough!" He seriously chose to push my buttons - I stood up slamming my hands on the table with all of the strength I had. You drag me against my free will to come and ruthlessly hurt me when you know how pissed off and upset I am today. Then you have the nerve to LECTURE ME ON MY BEST FRIEND WHO'S KNOWN ME FOR ALL OF HER LIFE AND ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR A FEW DAYS! I hate you so much right now! I hate you!

"You're going to sit there and let me pour my heart out to you and then turn around and slate me?! Do you know how hard it's been? How many friends I've had to cut out of my life ever since choosing to date him? Where time after time, I've had to hide and dodge questions about where I've been and why I've been there and when others can meet who I'm seeing? Where I've had to mask bruises I've received from him which if anyone saw, they'd cause a fuss over. You wouldn't know how hard it is to have to keep quiet about the worst things with the person who you care for and trust the most."

"...How shameful. I thought there was more to you than met the eye but I guess I was wrong." Is he serious right now? He can't honestly be serious - he's still pushing to piss me off even more?!

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't look very highly on people who are as narrow-minded as you are. First, the friends you had to cut off. If they were your friends, they would have pushed on you to find out why you suddenly ended things with them. If that didn't work, they would have gotten advice from others or pointed others to you to find out. That hasn't happened so they never were friends of yours to begin with. Second, you don't have to answer each and every last question that's asked of you. It's your private business after all. Third, if those bruises are minor, it could be very casually explained away if seen." …I'm speechless. He doesn't care that I'm HUMAN and not a fucking robot who has no emotions.

"...You're heartless."

"You're a hypocrite. And by the way, I do know how it feels. Those rumours of me having an assault charge are true. I was innocent and framed for it but no one believed me. The trial I had was rigged from the get-go and I'd let the people around me mess with my head to the point I didn't want to plead my innocence Ann. I didn't think that I'd ever want to talk with anyone about it but I'd met Shiho. Not only was I willing to open up, I found I wasn't too afraid to speak up about the truth of the matter and it's thanks to her I could tell Ryuji about it and now you."

"…" He'd opened up to Shiho about his history? The record was definitely true but to think he'd tell her the full story…is that why he's so…him? When I rang her, she didn't mention anything to me about that. She didn't even seem too upset or troubled about it. He really didn't try anything funny with Shiho at all…..I really am horrible. All I've been thinking about since he's arrived is myself and he's been concerned for all three of us in his own roundabout way.

"I'm trying to hammer into that thick skull of yours that Shiho is a lot tougher than you think."

"I'm not thick, alright?" I get it now. You saw more to us in just a few days than we saw in each other over a lifetime.

"My point is: I'm sure hearing about Kamoshida and what he's been doing to you and your intentions might shake her a little but it wouldn't break her." Since when did I start thinking that way? I feel really silly about it. He's right.

"..." Ren. I can't exactly say I'm happy with you but I'm honestly glad that I got to meet you. You're bringing up so many points and it's like the answers I could never get are finally being obtained.

"It's not something that shatters a childhood relationship or even strains it - I can tell from your interactions with Shiho that you two really are close. If anything, Shiho would empathize with you. You don't want her to lose out on her dream, right?"

"Of course not!"

"You can sit down Ann."

"Oh…" I…can't look you in the eye right now. I'm scared that if I do, I don't know what will happen. You were merciless because you needed to be, right? Just now, you've given me the reality check I needed. How could I have continued to be so blind to the things around me?

"Ah, I remember the days of being young and falling in love."

"They may fight like that a lot but they seem good together."

"It's probably just a lovers' spat is all."

"But there's another guy involved. Kamo-whatever - is it a love triangle?" Now that I really think about it, if I was to be seen right now it…isn't as troublesome as I thought it would be but it's still a little annoying.

"...Are you happy now, Ren?"

"Hmm…for a cute face like that, yeah, I'm pretty happy." THUD! You never change, do you? You know that you had that coming right? Calling me cute out of nowhere…wait, WHY am I so happy about that?!

"...Don't just say that out of nowhere. While I know you're cracking a tasteless joke, another girl might see it differently."

"Sorry." So in the affairs of love, he drops the ball again?

"Ugh…you're totally hopeless. I feel bad for any girl that will fall for you."

"Don't write me off as a lost cause."

"..."

"..." What is your deal, really and truly?

"I seriously can't get a read on you. First, you're a pretty level-headed strategist who can make the toughest decisions like the back of his hand. Then the smuggest guy in the world. And now, your merciless, unfeeling side. You tore me a new one, Ren, and it was kind of scary coming from you."

"Maybe. I've kind of selfishly gone on about how you could have done things and didn't really consider your feelings as I thought about it. I meant every last word I said to you but I could have had some tact to it."

"Could?" That's honestly the best you could do? With all of the choice words to directly sting at me the way you did? My face was one of bewilderment when he said that to me.

"...Should. I'm sorry that I scared you like that. I was really annoyed at what you'd said to me and now that you've thought about what I've said, I'm sure you've now moved past the impasse you felt."

Ren. You might not be able to tell this from how my face looks but thank you. Thank you so much. I kept trying to shove you away even though deep down, I really wanted someone I could talk to who could give it to me straight. I couldn't turn to my parents with this as they're in Finland right now and Shiho…I'm far too weak to open up like this with her. It's not that I don't think she could handle it…it's me who couldn't handle owning up to what I did. You really are a strong person - you don't give yourself enough credit at all.

"You're right Ren. If I'd evaluated the situation properly, I could have ended things a lot sooner."

"It's sadly not an option any more - the committee will wonder why you're only coming up now. Given Kamoshida's influence now compared to then, it would be biased in his favour."

"How so?"

"He'd pull something to cause hell for a student who opposes him. His shadow really speaks to how self-centred he is." He actually would, wouldn't he? It's supposed to be the principal who holds the power but he's done nothing but sit on his backside ever since bringing Kamoshida - he wants nothing but fame.

"What can I do?" I want to at least try everything I have to put an end to this and finally be able to look Shiho in the eye and be truly proud of her.

"You can help us out with our investigation. If you ask the girls about Kamoshida: specifically, what he does during training and possibly one-on-one training. I'll throw in a sweetener too: If anyone asks why you're doing this, tell them that I forced you. That way, if the worst does happen, you won't have to leave Shiho behind." Ren. That's seriously sweet and considerate but I can't let you protect me from this - I'd only be running away from the truth if I don't help. I want you to look into my eyes and see my conviction - I'm not going to back down.

"No. I'm not dragging you down Ren. You'd only be bringing trouble on yourself so I won't do that. You've made me realise that I can't change what's happened but that there's still ways to stop Kamoshida. I'd truly be unable to face anyone regretting not doing anything."

"Okay, Ann. If you change your mind, I understand. Ryuji will too." Don't worry. That will never happen. The first thing I need to do is end the relationship with Kamoshida. He doesn't care at all for me and he never will.

"Alright, I'm going to leave soon seeing as work said I wasn't needed."

"That was the other phone call, right?"

"Yeah."

"What job do you have?"

"I'm a part-time model at S**oru Japan. I'd started last year and found it a nice way to make money on the side. The agency are pretty reasonable especially with students my age…most of the time. Hearing them just cancel like this was unexpected."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Please don't worry. I still received my salary as the cancellation was last minute. Besides it's actually good for me - everything from yesterday left me feeling so overwhelmed." Umm…I'm really just talking about anything with him now? It's…liberating actually.

"Did the Shadow Kamoshida touch you?"

"No. He'd asked questions about why I wasn't in my play outfit or whatever he called it."

"And the guards?"

"No. They'd taken me to the Princess Chambers and told me I needed to strip. I refused and they'd tied my hands and dragged me into that room. I tried getting free from my restraints but the rope was too tough. That's where the bruises came from."

"Why were your clothes torn though?"

"The spears the guards were holding around me. As I squirmed, the spears had pierced my clothing. None of them went into my skin though."

"Oh, thank goodness. No one tri-"

"Not at all, Ren. You'd thought the worst had happened right?" I really was wrong about you Ren. You're one of the most considerate guys out there - you may not be aware of it but Shiho thinks the same too. You've not only saved me from my sadness but you've saved Shiho and Ryuji too. If you become aware of her feelings, I'll be sure to support you with everything I've got but don't think for a moment that you and me can happen…it will never ever happen! Ever!

"...It crossed my mind but I guess it wasn't something I should have worried about."

"Can we start afresh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ren, I've given you the cold shoulder more than I needed to and over the littlest of things. You, who's only known Shiho for a day, understand her better than I have knowing her since childhood."

"It's nothing, really. In fact, having someone react to me for anything else that isn't my record is refreshing in itself." Wow. There's really never enough times where I can say it - you're amazing Ren. I want to grow stronger and I know that because of you, I am able to do that. It's because of you that I can do it too.

"Hm. I'm not sure whether I should be happy or not but I understand you a little bit more now. If you want to keep throwing barbs back and forth, I'll go a few rounds with you."

"Hmph. Be prepared for my worst Ann."

"I will." If there's one thing that was meant to happen, it was this altercation. This time and this place on this day. You've removed a burden from my shoulders and I'm feeling a lot more optimistic about tomorrow and the future.

"I'll keep you guys posted. We may need to go back into that place after all."

"True. I'm glad I got to convince you."

"See you tomorrow, Ren!" Will I ever be able to become as resilient as you are? Still, I know what I need to do first.