Disclaimer: I own nothing. Besides, think of all the trouble I would have to go through if I really did own Sirius Black. (The cute one from the books, I mean, not Gary Oldman.) No offense to any of his fans out there. Firstly, I'd have to hide him from rabid fan girls like myself, and probably get trampled in the process and have large amounts of drool escaping my mouth.

A/N: I apologise for the lateness of this chapter, but I did warn you that I would update when I felt particularly Sirius-ish. Besides, I'm amazed how many reviews this thing got, it's a product of a bored teenager who was lacking sleep for Goodness sake! Like now, for instance. Anywho, I haven't been able to update my other stories, especially Bring It On, firstly because I've been having exams and secondly because my computer has been attacked by a stupid virus.

I hate viruses.

I can update this though, because I don't write a draft for it like I do with my other stories (it's a lot faster.), all of the ideas are spur of the moment. Sooo… just give me a few moments to think of something…

Okay, here goes nothing.

8.00 a.m.

List of Things to Do

By the way, am I the only one who's noticed how you're supposed to capitalize some words in titles and leave others uncapitalized?

Isn't that unfair?

I mean, are some words just more special than others? Is that why they get to have capital words in front of them? Think how the other words must feel!

Something should be done for this unfairness!

All words should be capitalized equally! After all, they're all words aren't they? They should have their rights! And I, Sirius Orion Black, shall valiantly fight for justice!

I'll go down as the boy who… who…

Umm…

Capitalized all the words in titles!

Somehow, that doesn't sound very impressive.

Never mind, we're getting of topic.

List Of Things To Do

(Hah, take that you horrid uncaring for other words' feelings rule! The first step to a better way!)

1. Annoy Prongs.

2. Give McGonagall another white hair. Normally, I only manage to give her grey ones, on good days, I'll get white. Obviously, I'm a high achiever.

3. Eat sugar.

4. Bombard Slytherin's common room with Dungbombs.

5. Turn Snape's hair pink.

6. Whine till Moony lends me homework.

7. Eat more sugar.

8. Launch campaign against unfair capitalization of words.

A busy day ahead of me.

Now you know how much I really suffer.

8.12a.m.

Am at breakfast table.

Have tried all sorts of annoying best friend antics to complete first thing to do on list, sadly, does not seem to have worked.

Might be because best friend happens to be staring at certain female specimen somewhere along the Gryffindor table with glazed look in eyes.

Alright, here goes my last desperate stab to get his attention.

It has yet to fail me.

8.14a.m.

I can't believe it!

It failed me!

This was how it went!

Me: Oy, Prongs, I have decided to become a homosexual, date Snape and call myself Hilly Billy. Later, I plan to finish my homework, make friends with Slytherins and carry McGonagall's books to her table all the while professing my undying love for eggplants.

And do you know what he said!

Prongs: Ungh… (a bit of drool fell on his tie.)

Upon closer examination, have noticed that said female specimen was Lily Evans. He still likes her? Just three days ago she gave him antlers and rearranged his face for Merlin's sake! Granted she's pretty, but come on, she's a spitfire, she might even bite somebody's tongue off if they were snogging her!

Am struck by the sudden thought of Prongs tongueless and unable to talk to me.

Ah, it can be grown back.

Though must say, her spitfire-ish-ness must come handy in bed.

Bad Sirius, bad.

Musn't think about Prongs's girlfriend who is not quite his girlfriend as has continually claimed loathe him approximately 87 tine for the past 7 years in that way.

Yes, I do keep track.

Hard not to when he mopes around after most of their spats.

Anyway, back to the conversation.

Me: Prongs, you're drooling.

Prongs: (Finally notices that he's been gaping open mouthed with saliva dripping from one corner of mouth for about ten minutes) Am not!

(Tries to wipe drool away.)

Me: Missed a spot. (Very helpfully pointed to the splotch on his tie.)

Moony: This is sad, Prongs, so very sad.

Prongs: Sod off.

Me: Mr. Padfoot is of the opinion that Mr. Prongs isn't getting enough of it and happens to be sexually frustrated.

Moony: Mr. Moony happens to be in agreement and believes that Mr. Prongs's decidedly unhealthy obsession-

Prongs: I am not obsessed!

Moony: -which involves constant staring, scribbling of initials upon every spare bit of parchment and carving of said initials on bed posts. That and the unbelievable amount of cold showers that he's been taking lately.

Wormtail: Well that explains why there's no more cold water left in the Gryffindor Tower.

Prongs: You people do realize that I'm right here and can here this entire conversation, right?

Moony: We really should help the poor lovesick lad.

Prongs: I am not lovesick!

Me: Exactly, remember the time when we had to sneak into the staff room to get back his 'homework'?

Wormtail: You mean when he passed up a poem about his love for Evans and drew little hearts with angel wings around the border instead of his Transfiguration essay?

Me: Yep, saw some rather disturbing things too. I may be scarred for life with what we found in McGonagall's desk.

Wormtail: Eww… don't remind me.

Moony: Why did we go through so much trouble? It's not like the entire staff doesn't know or anything.

Prongs: They don't!

Me: Yeah right, I hear that listening to your shenanigans with Evans is Friday night entertainment in the teacher's lounge.

Moony: I think the favourite is the time when you flew into a goalpost when we were playing against Hufflepuff. Remember, she was waving to someone and you thought she was waving at you?

Wormtail: Good thing they can't play a decent game of Quidditch to save their lives.

Prongs: (looking self-righteous and picking up goblet of pumpkin juice.) I refuse to listen to these lies! I happen to be completely and totally in control regardless even with Lily arou-ou-ouu…

Lily Evans walked past him.

Which caused him to erupt into a violent coughing fit when he choked on the juice and sprayed it all over an innocent first year.

Completely and totally in control indeed.

Well, that's one thing off the to do list.

8.57a.m.

Note to self: Find poem about Evans and other pieces that Prongs likes to scribble about on parchment.

9.00a.m.

Right, Transfiguration class, and I have come to achieve my goals as mentioned in number 2 of to do list.

Hahahaha!

Have spied the perfect opportunity!

9.24a.m.

Methinks that not only have I put one more white hair on McGonagall head, but two!

I really am an overachiever.

Allow me to reward you with a glorious play by play of what happened.

On the blackboard, she wrote our homework assignment, which was:

"The Uses of Human Transfiguration in Everyday Life"

Immediately, I, being the one who has always stood up for the weak, (unless they happen to be Slytherins, then they can just slither away or something.) yelled, "Professor!"

She turned around looking rather tired, really ought to do something about the bags under her eyes, and said, "Yes, Mr. Black?"

"Professor McGonagall," I said in my most I'm-Right-So-Listen-Up voice (I know it worked, because I could hear a few girls sigh. Who can blame them? If I were a girl, I'd sigh too.), "I notice that you've shown extreme biasedness to the poor words 'of' and 'in' on the blackboard."

"What?"

Clearly, this wasn't what she was expecting. Hah, take that you word favouring person!

"While the other words start off with capital letters, you happened to leave the other two capitalless!" I pointed out. "Do you not see the injustice of this tragedy? The inhumanity? Would you have those two poor words feeling downtrodden and unworthy of capitalization?"

"Firstly, Mr. Black, I don't believe that there are such words as 'biasedness' or 'capitalless'," she replied, looking annoyed. (A/N: at least there aren't any according to my computer dictionary.), "Secondly, this is how it should be written as determined by the English language, and thirdly, I highly doubt that those two 'poor words' feel downtrodden because they can't feel since they aren't even alive to begin with."

"Or is that just what they want you two think?" I countered. "Maybe they do! When they are sad, do they not cry? When they're happy, do they not laugh? And when they're hurt, do they not bleed? How can you continue such a pointless injustice to make words feel unworthy?"

She looked as though she didn't know whether to cry or to laugh.

I'm good.

"To all your questions, Mr. Black, the answer is no," she sighed. "Now, I do not believe that this is in any way related to our lesson. Class, turn to page 348 of you textbook, a chapter entitled 'An Easy Guide to Human Transfiguration'-"

Hah.

Then I shouted, "No matter how much you run, the truth is out there! It'll chase you, from billboard signs to posters to this very page on our books! It's everywhere! Haunting you for supporting this unfairness!"

You know, I'm pretty sure that you're not supposed to take about 5 of those Muggle headache pill things at once.

12.48p.m.

Hah again!

Have successfully annoyed Professor and launched campaign!

Throughout lunch, loads of girls have been coming up to me and saying how brave they think I am and how they'll support me 100!

Moony's saying that they're only doing this because they want my attention.

He looks into things too deeply.

Of course they care about the injustice that words are suffering from.

Time to eat sugar!

15.79p.m.

Bouncing around dorm happily.

Energy!

So much energy!

4.21p.m.

Sugar has worn off.

Aww.

But have managed to achieve numbers 4,5 and 6 of my list.

And acquired a weeks worth of detention for Snape's hair.

Oh come on, it'll come off if he washes it.

Which means that it'll stay pink forever, I suppose.

Don't think the Dungbombs have set off yet though.

4.23p.m.

Hahaahaha.

Can hear screams from the dungeons.

I think I hear my name being screeched.

Nah.

5.43p.m.

Damn.

Other three won't let me near the sugar.

Claim I get hyperactive.

I most certainly do not!

6.32p.m.

Have found Prongs's poem.

Hehehehe.

I leave you on that evil note.

No worries Fleas, I know exactly what I'm doing.

When have I not?

A/N: Okay, I'm really sorry if this chapter sucked, alright? I'm tired, it's 1.10 in the morning, and I can't get the chocolate. Woe is me. I'll try to write better, but I didn't have any sudden burst of anything to motivate me, just plain boredom. Ugh. Anyway, appreciate the effort that was put into it and review! I'm always open for suggestions as to what Sirius should blither about!

Oh, and just so you know, this is meant to be pointless, as I have mentioned in previous chapter, though I am thinking of a plot right now.