Chapter 31: The Children Matter Too
The Grants and the Thorntons sat down at the table together. Little Jack was chattering away to them about all the fun that he and Allie had in the backyard earlier. Nathan was attentively listening and interacting with him as Elizabeth sat there, smiling but distracted and deep in thought. Allie picked up on the mood almost immediately and sat there observing her dad and Elizabeth for the next few moments. She couldn't quite interpret what may have happened during their conversation outside. Her dad seemed like his normal self, but Mrs. Thornton was definitely not.
Allie thought that there was no time like the present to find out. "So, what did you two do while we were in the backyard?" Allie asked while watching both adults' reactions. Elizabeth and Nathan stopped what they were doing and glanced at one another for a brief moment. Nathan responded immediately and said, "Oh, Mrs. Thornton and I just caught up a little bit on things going on this past week." Allie turned her attention over to Elizabeth, who sat there drinking her lemonade and simply nodded her head at Allie. Allie nodded in return and decided that she wasn't going to get anywhere in this conversation during dinner. The conversation remained simple but enjoyable, but Allie sensed a slight reservation in the air.
Once dinner was done, Nathan took Little Jack out to the living room to play with the blocks while the other two washed and dried the dishes. As they were finishing up, Allie leaned over towards Elizabeth and whispered, "Mrs. Thornton, is everything OK? You don't seem quite yourself tonight? " Elizabeth put the final dish away and looked at Allie thoughtfully and responded, "Allie, do you think we could chat out in the backyard for a bit?"
Allie hesitated to answer for a moment and looked over to her dad and Little Jack playing in the other room. As if sensing the hesitation, Nathan looked up from what he was doing. Their eyes met, and Nathan nodded to his daughter as if responding to an unspoken question. She turned back towards Elizabeth and smiled, then walked towards the back door to step outside.
Just outside the door sat a beautifully carved bench, and Elizabeth found herself admiring the craftsmanship before taking a seat. Allie noticed her reaction and spoke, "My dad made this a couple of years ago when he needed a distraction." Elizabeth sensed, without expanding on it, that most likely that bench was a representation of Nathan's grieving for the loss of the possibility of what might have been with the two of them. She nodded in understanding and took a seat as Allie sat next to her.
Elizabeth turned and faced Allie and spoke, "Allie, before I go any farther in this conversation, I want to begin by apologizing to you. I know that it happened a while ago, but my behavior towards you a few years ago was unacceptable. I know that I hurt you deeply with my choices, and for that I am truly sorry. I'm so thankful that you've had the strength and maturity to remain my student and even friend despite those wounds that I caused you. I've always treasured the bond that I've had with you. And if you did not have those beautiful characteristics about you, I probably would have lost you in my life because of my choices in behavior and otherwise. You are an amazing young woman, Allie Grant, I hope you know. "
Allie listened attentively and responded with a small smile and a nod. Elizabeth decided that she should continue and said, "Allie, these past few months after losing Mr. Bouchard, I've done a lot of soul searching. Without getting into the major details, I want you to know that I have found out in that search just how much your dad and you both truly mean to me. "
Elizabeth paused briefly and placed her hand on Allie's back. Her own eyes began to mist up as she looked closely at the young girl. "Allie, I love your dad and you more than I could ever begin to express in words. I truly would like the opportunity to try to regain your love and trust and be part of your lives as a family.
At that point, Elizabeth's tears streamed down her cheeks, and she brushed them away with her hand. However, she continued with a deep urgency. "Your dad and I spoke earlier, and he told me some things that you two would appreciate seeing if that were to happen. I want you to know that I am willing to go the distance and do those things. That's how much I love you both and that you matter to me," she said, placing her hands on either side of Allie's cheeks.
Allie stared back at Elizabeth and then tears formed in her eyes. Through the tears, she smiled at Elizabeth and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Thornton. That means a lot to me." Allie gave Elizabeth a hug and held on tight as the tears poured down her cheeks at that point, and she began to sob in Elizabeth's arms. Elizabeth sat there holding the young girl, rubbing her back and speaking reassuring words in her ear.
When they broke apart, Elizabeth pulled out her clean handkerchief and dried the tears from Allie's cheeks. Once more, she took Allie's face into her hands, lifting it up to meet her own gaze and stress the importance of what she was about to say. "Allie, I do love you and I am not going anywhere this time. You have my promise. I am committed to this, you'll see." she said, hugging her once more and kissing the top of her head. They stayed like that for awhile, and then, Elizabeth realized that the sun was setting and darkness had begun to shadow the backyard.
When they walked into the kitchen and looked around, there was no sign of either Nathan or Little Jack. The two of them looked at one another puzzled and Allie snapped her fingers and said, "Wait a minute, let me check something." Immediately, she went over to the table spot that Nathan usually sat at and there in his spot was a note. It said, "Took LJ for a walk. Be back in a little bit. Love, Dad".
Meanwhile, when the girls were outside, Little Jack got up from where he was playing with blocks and went to the front door. He turned to Nathan and said, "Mountie Nathan, can we go for a walk?" Nathan stood to his feet, walked over to Little Jack and bent down to his level, "Sure thing, little man, we can do that. But let's write your mama and Allie a note first to let them know where we are, ok? " Little Jack nodded his head and smiled.
Nathan stood again and held out his hand for him to take, and Jack placed his tiny hand into Nathan's large one. Nathan went to the desk and got out a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote a quick note and decided to leave it in his spot on the kitchen table, knowing that Allie would know to check there first. Once that was done, Nathan turned to Little Jack and asked, "Are you ready for that walk, Jack?" Little Jack exclaimed excitedly, "Ready!" And he pulled anxiously at Nathan's arm.
The two went out the front door, down the steps and onto the pathway. Little Jack let go of Nathan's hand and they started walking around as Jack collected rocks. After they had been out for awhile, they walked back down the path near the front of the rowhouse. Nathan noticed something that he hadn't noticed earlier. There on the bush, outside of his door, was a single gardenia bloom.
He let Jack continue to search for his rocks as he went over to the bush. As he crouched down to get a closer look, Little Jack ran up to him with his hand full of pebbles. He laid them down on the front steps and then leaned in to see what Nathan had found. "What's that, Mountie Nathan?", Jack inquisitively asked. Nathan glanced over at Jack and answered, "That, Jack, is a flower called a gardenia. They are a very special flower to Allie and me. And we don't see them bloom a whole lot, so this, this flower here, is a true treat."
Jack smiled at Nathan and said, "It's so beautiful, Nathan!" Can we pick it for mama? "
Nathan remembered something and chuckled to himself. Then, he responded to Jack, "That's a wonderful idea, Jack! Do you think that she'd like it? "
Jack smiled, shook his head, and said, "Mama loves it when I pick her flowers. It's your turn, Mountie Nathan. "
Nathan chuckled at that response and said, "Why is it my turn, Jack?"
Jack looked at Nathan and then pointed to the flower. "Flowers make mama happy, Mountie Nathan." Then, he looked back to Nathan and pointed at him and continued, "And you make mama happy too."
Nathan looked at Jack for a few moments, appreciating his pure and innocent spirit. It was hard to fight the tears in his eyes with that genuine statement. Nathan gave Little Jack a hug and said, "Jack, that makes me happy when you say that. It means a lot to me if I can make both you and your mama happy! " He picked the flower and came back to standing in an upright position.
Noticing at this point that it had become dark outside and that the only lights that were reflected were those coming from the porch lights that were on and the moon, he encouraged Little Jack that it was time to go inside.
As Nathan and Little Jack walked into the rowhouse, the other two turned from their places by the kitchen table. Their eyes met, and the four smiled at one another. There was so much to share, but where to start? That was the question.