Chapter 33: Just the Beginning
The next day, Elizabeth had her weekly meeting with Joseph scheduled. After discussing it with Nathan and Allie the night before, the two families decided that if Joseph was willing, they would step into those meetings as well. After a quick phone call, Joseph readily agreed to transition the weekly grief counseling to family counseling sessions. Knowing that Nathan would be at work doing his rounds, Elizabeth took Little Jack and went outside to the front steps to enjoy the morning and simply wait for him to pass by on Newton.
Elizabeth didn't have to wait long because shortly after she sat down, Nathan came around the corner on Newton. He slowed down outside of the rowhouse and greeted both mother and son. "Good morning, Elizabeth! Hey there, Jack! "What are you up to this morning?" he asked with a bright smile.
Elizabeth smiled back and responded, "I just got off the phone with Joseph not long ago." "If you are available at 9:00 this morning, Joseph is willing to meet with all of us."
Nathan thought for a moment and answered, "Sounds good." I'll finish up rounds, complete some paperwork, and then meet you there.I'm glad that he was open to meeting with all of us.
Elizabeth nodded and said, "Me too. Actually, he seemed quite pleased with the idea after hearing the story. Well, let me get this little one fed and over to the preschool, and I'll see you at the schoolhouse at 9:00. "
Nathan nodded and responded, "Sounds like a plan. I'll see you at 9:00. " He paused for a moment and then continued, "Elizabeth, thanks again for your willingness to go along with this idea of counseling. I just wanted you to know how much that means to me."
Elizabeth smiled, picked up Little Jack and walked over to where Nathan was on Newton. She stroked Newton's mane for a moment and then looked at him with a serious expression and answered, "You're very welcome. You see, we both believe that love is worth fighting for. Nathan, please know that I am more than willing to do whatever it takes this time. "
Nathan listened attentively, and when Elizabeth finished speaking, he smiled tenderly and nodded. Well, I better get going so that I will be ready when it's time. I'll see you then.", Nathan said, and waved to them as he rode away.
Elizabeth had discussed with Joseph that she was taking Little Jack to the preschool during the counseling sessions like she did with her own personal sessions. Yet, she also informed him that if there were ever a time that he felt it necessary for Jack to be there, they could accommodate that easily enough.
Elizabeth went up the stairs and back into the house to prepare for the day. Once they had eaten and Little Jack was dressed, the Thorntons headed out towards town. Laura was at the preschool already with Sarah Wolf and Donnie Montgomery when she arrived. Jack grinned from ear to ear and excitedly called to his friends as he entered the building. Laura and Elizabeth chuckled at the greeting amongst the toddlers. Then, Elizabeth went on her way.
She was slightly early for the appointment with Joseph, so she decided to stop by the Mercantile for the basic things that she needed in her kitchen. Florence rang her up, and she went on her way towards the schoolhouse. Allie was walking towards the schoolhouse at the same time that Elizabeth was headed there, and the two decided to accompany one another. They were quiet as they walked to the building, up the steps, and through the doors, whether it was because they were tired, nervous, or both.
Joseph was already there, at the front of the desks, praying. As he heard the footsteps enter the room, he stopped and turned towards them, greeting them with a wide smile on his face. He invited them to sit down in the seat behind where he had been. As they got settled into their spots, they all turned as they heard the door creak open and Nathan walked in. He sauntered over to where they sat, and Joseph asked him if he would help him turn the seat so that it faced Elizabeth and Allie and wasn't in front of them with its back to them. Once they had adjusted the seat to be facing directly across from Elizabeth and Allie, Joseph sat down, and he gestured for Nathan to do the same.
The four sat quietly for a moment, in a sense, at a loss for words or not sure where to begin. Finally, Joseph spoke first and simply asked if he could lead them in prayer. The three nodded, and Joseph invited the Lord to their time together. He thanked God for the union that had occurred and the willingness to move forward together with the help of counsel. Joseph prayed that as they spoke to one another, God would grant them a spirit of wisdom, guidance, and openness. He closed with "amen" and the others followed.
Elizabeth explained a little further in depth as to what had occurred that caused this transition in counseling. Elizabeth looked at Allie, then Nathan, and back again at Joseph with a slight smile on her face. She took a deep breath and went on to explain the conversation that had occurred between her and Nathan on Sunday, the dinner invitation on Monday night, and the conversations from Tuesday night's dinner. The others listened and nodded at times as Elizabeth shared. When she finished the recollections of the past several days, Joseph sat for a few moments, quiet and observing the three individuals sitting around him. He looked at Allie, deep in thought, and finally spoke, "Allie, I'm curious, where do you stand in this whole courting thing?" How do you feel about it? "
Allie sat thoughtfully for awhile before answering. Then, she looked at Nathan, who smiled at her and nodded at her, encouraging her to feel free to share what she needed to with them. Next, Allie glanced over at Elizabeth, who was looking tenderly at the young girl and smiled when they made eye contact. Elizabeth reached over, rubbed her back, and quietly whispered, "It's OK, share whatever you need to, Allie." Allie nodded in response and then gazed back over to Joseph. "Pastor Joseph, is it OK if I get up and move around while I share?", Allie asked in a slightly nervous tone. Joseph nodded and gestured for Allie to get up as she needed.
Allie stood and walked to the window and stared out at the playground for a few moments.
Then, she turned and looked at the adults in the room and took a deep breath. "To be honest, I'm a little mixed. I love Mrs. Thornton and Little Jack so much already, and because of that, my heart wants to go five steps ahead of my head. But like I told my dad the other night, I have my concerns too because of what happened. ", Allie shared with them.
Allie started pacing about the room, and tears formed in her eyes. Elizabeth and Nathan looked at Joseph to see if they should respond to her, and he simply nodded. Allie brushed back her tears, swallowed hard and continued as she paced, "I was so hurt and still feel that. I moved on from it in a way, but I still feel it here. " Allie paused, putting her hand to her heart and looking intently at the adults. "I had such a desire for us to become a family. I still do, but I'm scared of caring so much again and then getting hurt all over again.", Allie paused in her pacing to gather her next thoughts.
She took a deep breath and continued, "Mrs. Thornton, you are the kind of mom I've always dreamed about since my mom passed. The relationship we've had... we do have... means the world to me. And having you as a mom would mean the world to me. And I know you apologized the other night, and you promised that you're not going anywhere this time, but I am slightly reserved about that, if I'm being completely honest. "
Allie looked at the adults, tears in her eyes, and went on, " You didn't really, truly see my dad during that time. No one really did, but I did, and I knew what this did to him. That bench we sat on, that was his heart poured out in hurt when he couldn't express it to anyone else. "
Allie paused and looked over at Nathan, whose eyes were glistening with tears as well. His heart ached for her at this moment, and yet, her words pierced his heart because he knew that she saw beyond the facade he put up for others. Allie wiped the tears away that had trickled down her cheeks with her hand and shared, "I know him... he didn't want to tell me because I was grieving in my own way over what could have been. I knew he didn't really feel that he had anyone here in town because he was their Mountie and Mrs. Thornton, you were their teacher. He wanted to be respectful of your roles, despite his broken heart. So, he carved and built things like the bench and encouraged me and himself to want what was best for you, because we were all friends. "
Allie took a deep breath and looked at the adults. "We survived as best as we knew how. And each day, in a way, got a little better. We both maintained a deep longing, but we came to accept that it simply was never meant to be. ", Allie shared as she looked at the adults sitting in front of her.
Joseph stood, put his hand on the young girl's shoulders, looking directly into Allie's eyes, and said, "Allie, you are such a caring, sensitive, and observant soul. I appreciate what you have shared from your heart and your feelings. It helps us all understand where you are coming from and evaluate where to go next as a whole group.
Joseph looked over to where Elizabeth and Nathan sat in their seats, both with tears rolling down their cheeks. "There are no fast solutions to this matter. Like your grieving Elizabeth, and Nathan, Allie, and like your own grieving for Colleen, you have to allow yourself to go through this journey of rebuilding fully in order to get to the other side. But communicating openly and honestly, as Allie did in today's session, is a wonderful start." , he spoke, as he took time to look at each of them in the eyes.
Joseph thought for a moment, glancing up as he spoke a silent prayer and then looked back at them to continue. "So I would encourage a few things here. First, I would encourage some time together in different sets of groups: Elizabeth and Nathan; Allie and Elizabeth; Little Jack and Nathan; Little Jack and Allie; and finally all four of you. You need to have time together in those groups each week to rebuild. It doesn't have to be anything extreme; just time with one another to build the relationship. But, maintain time between Elizabeth and Little Jack and Allie and Nathan too."
Joseph took a breath, held up two fingers, and went on, "Secondly," I would encourage all of you to journal. Elizabeth can attest to how much it has helped her over the past year as she's healed. You're always welcome to share with me or one another what you're journaling, but that's not the goal or expectation. It's simply another tool for you to use to heal individually through expressing your thoughts and feelings in your writing."
Joseph paused, once again looked up and then at each one of them, and said, "And lastly, I would encourage you to simply pray, by yourselves and with one another. This will not only connect you with God, because in Matthew 18:20 it says, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them." But, it connects you to one another, as a team or family, so to speak, and it brings healing. In James 5:16, it is said, "Pray for each other so that you may be healed". This is such a key factor because it helps you deal with challenges and problems that come up in a constructive manner."
He paused after sharing, he gave the three of them time to absorb what it was that he was saying to them. After a moment, he continued, "I do have one other recommendation, if you don't mind me sharing it." Joseph looked at Elizabeth, Nathan, and Allie and waited for their response. They nodded their approval for him to share and he brought Allie and himself back to the seats near Elizabeth and Nathan. Once they had both sat down, Joseph spoke, "As much as I do believe that this time together with the three of you counseling is important to you as a developing family, I do believe that we need to carve out time solely for you two."
He looked intently at Elizabeth and Nathan before he carried on, "I would suggest that we block the first part of the session for you three, and then we complete the session by just meeting with you both. This possible family unit couldn't and won't exist if we don't build the foundation of what is here with the two of you first. My question is, is this something that you are willing to do as well? "
Elizabeth and Nathan looked at one another. Elizabeth was the first to respond, "Joseph, I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work. I told Nathan just this morning that I believe that love is worth fighting for." Elizabeth's and Nathan's eyes met with her last statement and held there for a few moments, as if holding both onto the very same memory. They smiled at one another and nodded. So, seeing the exchange between the two of them, Joseph spoke up and said, "So, by what I am hearing and seeing, I take it that yes is the answer." They smiled and nodded once again.
For the remainder of the session, they discussed details for further appointments. Both families would be traveling separately to their families' homes for the next few weeks and would not return until the beginning of the following month. So, Joseph redirected and assigned them homework while they were apart that could help work on what they had begun there at their meeting.
At the end of their time together, Nathan and Elizabeth shook hands with Joseph and thanked him for his time, friendship, and counsel. Joseph grinned from ear to ear, gave Allie a side hug and informed them that he was thankful that they were entrusting him with their journey. They smiled and said their goodbyes. Joseph lingered a little longer, taking time to pray for this budding family.