Chapter 35: The Walls We Build

Later, in the afternoon, Allie and Nathan arrived at Nellie's and Archie's humble home in Rock Creek. They were outside tending to things around the property when the wagon drove up, so they gathered where Nathan stopped. Allie climbed out of the wagon and ran over to where her grandparents stood, and she hugged them tightly. It was in this moment, seeing and embracing them, that she realized how truly thankful she was for her little family.

She was grateful for this time with her grandparents after such a hard winter season and the time of loss in Hope Valley. Tears formed in Allie's eyes, and she hugged on to each one of them a little tighter. Allie's grandmother, Nellie, seeing the exchange that Allie had with Archie, held Allie close to her, stroking her long hair and whispering sweet, loving words into Allie's ear. Allie simply melted into her embrace, smiling as the tears trickled down her face.

While she was greeting Nellie and Archie, Nathan set the brakes on the wagon and got down from it as well. He patted Newton and Sergeant as he made his way over to his parents. He stood there with his arms crossed, deep in thought but wearing a smile, and watching them with Allie. It was still odd for him to see them together again like this, but they had mended their ways and found their way back to one another. Slowly, he was coming to terms with it.

As his parents broke apart from Allie's hugs, Archie looked over at him and gestured for him to join them. Nathan walked over, shook his dad's hand, and kissed his mother on the cheek. Nellie shook her head , reached over and pulled her son into her arms for a bear hug. Once they pulled apart , Nathan turned to find Archie standing there with open arms, inviting Nathan in for a hug. Even though he was slightly overwhelmed with the whole scenario, Nathan thought to himself that it was good to be back.

Nellie and Allie went inside the little home as Nathan and Archie went to put the horses into the barn and put away the wagon. Once they were done, the father and son joined the two ladies in the home for some time of catching up with one another and home cooking.

Since it had been a long day for Nathan and Allie that day, the Grants decided to keep things simple for that evening. The next day , the family would all go fishing in the early part of the day and then have a picnic afterwards before coming home. Since the Grant's home was very small, they worked out where Allie would sleep in the spare room and Nathan would have the couch in the living room.

After Nellie and Archie had said goodnight for the evening, Allie stayed out in the living room a little while longer to talk to Nathan. The two sat quietly together on the couch for several minutes before one of them spoke. Finally, Allie said, "Dad, is it OK if I skip Mrs. Thornton's letter tonight? I'm really tired. I promise that I will get to it after we get back from our fishing trip and dinner is done tomorrow. She yawned and placed her head on Nathan's shoulder, trying hard not to doze off right there on the couch.

Nathan chuckled, leaned over, and gave Allie a side hug and kissed the top of her head. "Yes Allie, we have the next three weeks to choose to read the three letters and respond to them. There's no rush. Go and rest for tonight.", he said as he gestured for her to go towards the bedroom. Allie sat up, nodded sleepily, and headed towards the bedroom that she'd be staying in for the next few weeks.

Once Allie left, Nathan reached over on the couch to his carry bag and pulled out the three envelopes that Elizabeth had given him addressed to him. He found the one with the number one written on it, so he put the other two back in the bag. Nathan sat back on the couch, making himself more comfortable, and opened up the letter. He unfolded the papers to find Elizabeth's handwritten letter inside. Nathan took a deep breath, but he just couldn't bring himself to read the letter that Elizabeth had written.

Nathan put the letter down and immediately covered his face with his hands. Then, all of a sudden, a pair of arms went around him and drew him close. There, his mother, Nellie, sat next to Nathan on the couch, stroking her son's wavy hair and whispering consoling words into his ear. And Nathan stayed there in his mother's arms, and tears fell freely down his cheeks.

It felt like everything that Nathan had not let himself feel for the past four years, because he was being strong for Allie, or he was maintaining himself as a Mountie, or simply, he wanted to keep things as normal as possible with Elizabeth, all came out now with his mother. No amount of wood carving allowed him the release of the true deep feelings that he was experiencing at this time and place. The two of them sat there quietly like that in the dimly lit room for awhile.

Eventually, Nathan sat up and looked at his mother's deep blue eyes. "Ma, why are you awake? "You went to bed awhile ago.", Nathan asked his mother.

Nellie took Nathan's face in her hands and looked at him, saying, " I couldn't sleep and I had the strongest sense that I needed to come out to check on you. I'm glad that I listened to my instincts, Nathan. Son, what is going on? I haven't seen you like this in quite awhile. Your heart seemed so heavy there. "

Nathan wiped his face with his hand and sighed. "Ma, it's just been a long, hard road emotionally the past four years. While we are all traveling, Pastor Joseph has Allie, Elizabeth, and me doing this little letter-writing project. It's a way to keep communicating despite the current distance. I went to read Elizabeth's first letter to me, and I just couldn't do it. I'm not sure why, but when I was about to read it, it stirred up so much of what I buried to protect myself and everyone else. I never let myself truly feel it because I had people counting on me. I'm glad that you were here. Nothing beats your hugs, Ma, or the way you can comfort me.", Nathan shared as he smiled at his mother and gave her a hug.

When Nellie pulled away from her son, she gave him a concerned look as she contemplated what to say next. Then, she said, "Nathan, what are you and Elizabeth up to now? Where do things stand?"

Nathan took a deep breath, combed through his dark waves with his hand and responded, "Well, we are in a courting process, but we are also counseling too. We both know that we love one another, but with everything that's happened over the last few years, I thought it was important to do the counseling. This letter, though... it was just a hard one to start reading. There are parts of our history that I wish hadn't happened or I'd prefer to forget. However, I know that things need to be said, and I obviously need to feel through the responses.

Nellie kissed Nathan on the head and smiled at him. "Yes, you do, son. I hope that you will allow yourself to do that with Elizabeth too, and in your counseling sessions. It allows you to move forward. A lot of the reason that me and your father were able to move on from the past was not only a forgiving heart but also open communication. It's so essential. Remember that as you go into this new chapter of your life.", Nellie said. She squeezed his hand as he nodded in response, and then she went back to her bedroom.

Nathan put the letter back into his bag and decided to read it the next day. He laid back onto the couch, said a prayer, and closed his eyes to go to sleep.