Fiona finished bathing the old man she was taking care of, and dried him with a towel. Sending him gently off to bed, she finally allowed herself to look over to the next bathtub, watching Jonas finish with Larissa, a gentle Elder. Smiling, they went together out of the building to where their bikes were propped up in their stands. "Jonas," Fiona said, hesitantly, "I'm nervous about the Ceremony-"she cut herself off. It was the polite way for her to ask a question, leaving an open statement about herself in the air, just waiting for Jonas to reply with one of his own. It was almost automatic for Jonas to respond to her unspoken queries, so he replied:
"I am very nervous as well, Fiona. I really do not know what kind of Assignment I hope to get, and – well, I just have this frightened feeling, as if anything could go wrong." Fiona realized that her friend had just described exactly the feeling that she had been experiencing, a deep, rooted fear that nothing would work out, that she would be left as a Laborer and never be able to show her face for fear of disgrace from the Ceremony of Twelve. Fiona shivered slightly, and Jonas noticed with concern. "Is it too cold out here, Fiona?" he asked with dismay. Fiona shook her head, and then departed with a hasty goodbye to her pale-eyed friend.
"Fiona, tomorrow is a very big day for you. You will receive your Assignment for life. You must have some feelings about that," Mother said. Fiona had been too confused to share her feelings at the table, so she had quietly murmured a pass. Now, however, she felt compelled to answer.
"Well, I admit that I am frightened and a bit apprehensive. That is because I have never had an Assignment before. Also, I am scared to do something wrong that will disgrace me in front of the community, such as trip or say something wrong while getting my Assignment. I felt very foolish Sharing these feelings, as well – as if they were something to be ashamed about. However, I am very excited to be getting a newchild in the family, too." Fiona finished.
"That is very interesting, Fiona. Could it be that you are apprehensive because of something you have heard of before, like someone failing to do something right and then being disgraced in front of the community? Because, of course, there has never, ever been such a case," Father interpreted.
"Or, is it related to that dream you told about this morning, that one about saying everything backwards when you were Assigned to be a Pilot," her mother mused.
"That must be it, Mother, thank you very much," Fiona said, distributing the due thanks. "Now, I feel only exhausted, so I believe I should get some sleep," she excused herself from further painful discussions.
In the confined space of her neat, almost empty room, Fiona flopped onto the crisp sheets covering her bed. She began to think about the Ceremony of Twelve, Jonas, and other such matters. Within moments, Fiona was asleep.
"Did you have any dreams, Mother?" Fiona asked. It was the morning of the ceremony.
"Actually, I did not have any dreams last night. Bill?"
"I dreamed about you, Fiona." Her father said. "I dreamed that you were receiving a large gold medallion on a blue ribbon, and I was so proud!"
"That must relate to my dream, Father, as it is probably about the Ceremony of Twelve today. I dreamed that I got up on stage to receive my Assignment, but then they said that they had made a mistake and sent me to be released." Fiona related. It had been a vivid dream, full of terror and nerves. It was her worst nightmare, and she had had many variations of it that month – Fiona couldn't help but be a little superstitious – what if it was a bad omen? Her parents were going over the fact that she had just dreamt that because she was nervous. Fiona tuned them out.
No matter what anyone said, Fiona vowed to herself that she would be extremely careful at the Ceremony – just in case…