Author's Note: This is a bit different from what I usually do, but seeing as how I am unable to find even an ounce of passion to continue on with my three other stories (One of which is in a state of ambiguous hiatus until I can figure out what to do with it), I decided this was an easy way to take a break and maybe get my passion back.

This is a rewrite of a story called 'Of Mythos and Monsters: Cthulhu mythos/MGE crossover (SFW)' by a user named 'Lord-Aetherius', you can still find and read the original thread on Spacebattles.

I own none of the characters, most of the writing, and all of the cover art.

"Welcome to the polar city.
Above the glaciers so pretty.
Listen to the Shoggoth ditty.
And go mad."
-An Elder Thing, speaking to Monika.

(Quote from the story It's "literal" by the author Slant, which you can find on AO3)

Rewrite of Chapter 1: Prologue.

Dakarazekis-teronatik-reg'rilfte-gralbaZeth the third, (or just Dakara III for short) was having a bad day.

He had just woken up from hibernation, an experience that usually left him feeling well-rested, but if done for too long would cause the effects of an intense hangover, leaving him with a pulsating brain-ache that almost made him wonder if his five hearts had switched places with his five lobes. His limbs weren't that much better; all five of his legs felt like they had been fossilized over the course of five hundred years, while his five tentacles felt as if they had been amputated and then violently reattached via a messy and outdated procedure of merging with symbiotic cordyceps. Every soft part of his flesh cramped with phantom needles, and his shell felt like it was being crushed with the force of five G's.

Oh, and in his state of hungover disorientation, he had instinctively tried to stand up, smashing his prismatic lobe against the ceiling.

Dakara was having a really bad day.

Gently rubbing the crystalline organ at the top of his body, Dakara slowly stood back up and stretched his tendrils to get a feel at the small environment that he was encased inside of. Immediately, he noticed several clamps fastened to his body that were squeezing a bit too tightly. This explained why he felt like he was trapped in the jaws of a Gug, but more importantly tipped him off to the fact that he was inside a hibernation pod. Muttering eldritch swear words, he lazily searched for the release mechanism while also trying to remember how he got here. He started with something simple: his life story.

He was Dakara, an Elder Thing (Megarkarua Sapien) born and raised on the crowded planet of a trinary star system, receiving a basic education at the local 'megaschool' and graduating as a grade Γ student. He was good in some fields, and a little better than others at athletics, but never quite excelled in the arts, (which was, at the time, one of the most highly valued pursuits in Elder Thing culture) making him a bit of a social outcast.

Instead, Dakara found his place in the military as a Colonial Marine, serving numerous off-world tours to fight yet another pointless war started by an ancient enemy of the Elder Things known as the Mi-go, a race of fungoid creatures who's bodies were made from an otherworldly material. The very first war against these creatures was thought to have occurred due to territorial disputes and resource concerns, but as time went on, it became clear that the wars kept happening due to psychological differences between the two races. You see, while an Elder Thing's version of a 'Hello' might be to wave their tendrils at you in what it thought was a non-threatening manner, a Mi-go's version of a 'Hello' was usually something along the lines of surgically extracting your brain, putting it in a jar, taking the jar on a tour across their homeland where other Mi-go conducted live vivisections on sapient animals, putting your brain back into your body, and then wondering why you started screaming all of a sudden.

To put it simply, the Mi-go's reasons for invading the Elder Things' worlds was so alien and bizarre that it transcended concepts such as ethics and borders, meaning that any sort of negotiation with them was likely impossible, as they probably didn't even know what the act of negotiating was. And thus, the Elder Things, with more annoyance than anything, found themselves locked into what they assumed was the 491085th Megarkarua - Mi-go War. (No one actually bothered to keep track. They just picked a random number and agreed to count up from there).

But what should have been a slow, lame, and boring war instead became a quick, cool, and interesting war, thanks to the efforts of DAKARA, HERO OF THE ELDER THINGS, who had SINGLE-TENTACLEDLY turned the tide of the war by capturing the enemy courier and providing a means of deciphering the Mi-go's encrypted transmissions, allowing us an excellent strategic advantage!

*Ahem*

Sorry about that. What you just heard is what any old random Megarkaruan would tell you if you asked about Dakara's history.

If you asked Dakara himself though, he would tell you a vastly different story.

He would tell you that due to complications in the boot camp, he was shipped off after only a week of basic training, as opposed to the five months minimum that was required of a rookie soldier. This meant that Dakara was forced to charge into the war with instructions he didn't know how to carry out and a team he didn't know how to coordinate with, his knowledge of his own weapon's usage limited to nothing more than 'Point it at the thing trying to murder you, press the fire button with a tentacle, and hope you didn't install the crystal diode backwards'. He didn't know that there was an option to switch the gun's modes from 'energy weapon' to 'cutting tool', nor did he know that it had several other types of projectiles it could fire, such as 'heat ray' and 'sonic pulse'. It would have been real helpful to have that knowledge, especially that one time when two of his legs got stuck inside the jaws of a carnivorous plant and he had to spend the rest of the day dragging it along while narrowly ducking under fire from the Mi-go. Seriously, it was a wonder he hadn't been ripped apart yet.

Regardless, there was one mission in particular which was responsible for his current predicament. He and a squad of other Colonial Marines were supposed to infiltrate the facilities of the Mi-go supply line. Dakara, having the misfortune of being himself, had gotten lost and separated from his comrades, leaving him wandering aimlessly through the twisting halls of the Mi-go fortress. Until eventually, he tripped on a pebble and dropped his gun at an angle which happened to fire it. Then, just at that moment, a Mi-go Brainsucker who just so happened to be a courier, and just so happened to enter the hall, got hit by the ensuing misfire, dying instantly. Dakara had picked up the strange documents the courier was carrying, and, believing them to be nothing more than meaningless scribbles, decided to bring them back to base as a souvenir.

The documents remained miraculously intact despite his reckless handling, and when he showed them to his commanding officer, it was revealed that the documents just so happened to contain step-by-step instructions on how to break Mi-go ciphers. This was the turning point of the war, as the Elder Things were now able to decrypt every transmission they intercepted. Every time the Mi-go planned an attack on a Megarkaruan settlement, they would find themselves in an ambush. Every time the Mi-go tried to switch strategies, the Elder Things would somehow adapt to it in five minutes.

And so, only five years after the war had started, the Mi-go gave up and retreated, as opposed to the five hundred years that was usually expected of those tenacious bastards. When Dakara returned home, he was hailed as a war hero; as the one who had prematurely ended the war and saved a lot of time that would have otherwise been wasted. There were celebrations, and famous Elder Thing artists had even made soapstone sculptures of him.

Dakara, for his part, felt like he was going to throw up.

And not just because people liked to parade him around like some kind of ornament, bouncing him up and down and making his stomachs collide against the walls of his innards. It was because he had been a loner all his life, passing by from place to place like a satellite using slingshot maneuvers; and now he was suddenly in a metaphorical warzone, surrounded on all sides by publicity. It was nice at first, but Dakara had quickly found himself missing his old, solitary lifestyle.

But it got worse! Misconceptions began to surround him, rumors about how he had used his bare tentacles to defeat the Mi-go Brainsucker when it had 'knocked his gun away' (Which, no one could confirm or disprove, as he was the only one present during the alleged event). Misconceptions that he unfortunately couldn't deny, because if the public knew the truth behind the things he had claimed/been accused of knowing/being able to do...well, he didn't want to find out.

This was all too much for Dakara to handle! But what was he to do? Perhaps, he could go and join the colonization effort of another planet and start a new life. Elder Things were a race that possessed wings which doubled as solar sails, meaning that they could literally fly through space as long as there was a visible star (which, there usually was). As a result, it was fairly common for new colonies to be started on a whim when an ambitious individual went up to a bunch of bored Elder Things and told them: 'Hey, would you like to abandon everything you know, and fly through space naked with me?'. This practice was an ancient tradition that had been passed down since the mythic times, back when the great progenitors of the Elder Thing homeworld had grown emotionally unsatisfied with their pampered lifestyles, deciding that they wanted go on an adventure and aimlessly drift through the empty universe until they found something interesting.

Oddly enough, naked space-flight didn't really appeal to Dakara. He much rather preferred the more modern method that used spaceships, gently traveling across the endless void on a set course and certain path while its occupants slept safe and sound inside their hibernation pods-

Oh! Now he remembered why he was here!

The timing had been convenient, and it was almost as if the Outer Gods themselves had taken pity on his insignificant life, because only a week after he had acquired his unwanted, accidental status as a war hero, Dakara heard news about the completion of the 'Situation Boundary', an immense biological star freighter that was not only capable of carrying millions of Elder Things, but also had a self sustaining eco-system that could mimic any environment, as well as millions of stasis pods that could put any organism into a state of suspended animation that was just as good at preserving them like an Elder Thing's hibernation. Not to mention, it was armed with so many weapons that it could reasonably go toe to toe with a Great Old One and rip it a 'Great New One'.

This very starship had parked near his home planet because it was looking for recruits, and Dakara leapt at the chance for a fresh start. Thanks to his reputation, not only was Dakara able to get on the ship, he was also able to secure a position as the ship's 'Commander of Military Escort and Security', a position he knew he was in no way qualified for, but he was fairly certain that the freighter's automatic defense mechanisms as well as its hundreds of security Shoggoths would be able to take care of any actual dangers for him. If they didn't, then he'd be forced to pretend like he knew what he was doing, which, by the way, he didn't.

Regardless, finally getting his bearings together, Dakara now remembered some clear and concise orders telling him that as soon as he woke up, he was to report to the bridge, immediately.

Orders he unfortunately couldn't carry out, as he still couldn't figure out where the gods damned release mechanism was.

Author's Note: Hopefully, it takes me less than a year to update this.

PS: Monster girl stuff doesn't happen until chapter 4, sorry.