DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to Thunderbirds, and no profit is to be made from this story. It is for entertainment purposes only. Also, any characters herein that are depicted as NASA employees are not to be taken as examples of either the opinions or the organization of NASA in general. Alicia Berkman and Lawrence Clayton are original characters, and are not to be used without the permission of the writer.

Test
August 2017

"I could throw up right about now."

Glancing over at his blonde-haired son, who looked green enough to be a Martian, Jeff Tracy didn't doubt it. "Don't stress yourself out, John. You haven't even started the test yet."

Seated in the passenger seat of the rent-a-car that Jeff had picked up just for the purpose of taking John to his test, John closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his index fingers. "I know, I know."

While Jeff was dressed in a snappy suit and pants set, John was wearing a T-shirt and a loose pair of cargo pants, something that he could take into the physical portion of the test. He absently rubbed at his upper arms, as if checking to make sure that the newly developed biceps were still there. Two years worth of work between classes had turned his gangly frame into a muscled and solid looking body, yet John still radiated an inherent shyness about his build that had not been dulled by countless hours of exercise and weight-training. He looked the part of a soldier, until a person gazed into his eyes, and saw the curiosity there that could only be formed in the mind of a scientist.

"And there are other parts to the qualification exam," Jeff continued, trying to keep his son distracted. "After all, it's just like a job interview. They'll review your record, check your academics, and probably ask you some technical questions to test your expertise."

"I hope the degree is enough."

"It'll be enough," Jeff assured John, slapping his son on the leg to emphasis the point. "Most people that are nineteen haven't even started thinking about college yet, and you've somehow managed to pull off a degree with great distinctions before your twentieth birthday. I wish I'd had the drive to do that at your age."

Shaking his head, John turned to gaze out the window at the rolling countryside. "No you don't. You don't know what drives me."

Jeff did indeed know what John's inspiration was. But he was not about to push the point. "Maybe not, John."

Several kilometres of road flashed by before either of them said anything else. The morning sun had risen to its zenith in the sky, its light casting shadows across the car and the trees at the side of the drive.

"How much further?"

"Not far." Jeff glanced at his odometer, then squinted out into the sunlight. "We've gone quite a distance, so we should be pretty close. Ah." He pointed a finger at the window. "See that tower there? That's Cape Canaveral's main launch site."

John leaned forward, reaching up a hand to block the sun from his eyes. "Yeah." Gazing out at the tower for a long moment, he finally closed his eyes and turned his head. He sighed, and threw himself back onto the seat. "I can't do this."

Oh yes you can, Jeff thought mildly. He hadn't come a few thousand miles from home just so John could change his mind. He knew how John's mind worked. Having raised the child alone for almost half of his life, he knew most of what went on in his son's mind.

"You won't lose anything by trying."

"Just the hope of ever being able to do something like it. Once that's gone, it's gone."

"You know something? I remember a certain twelve-year-old boy who once put me in my place with his insight. What happened to all of that wisdom?"

John turned to look at his father. "This is wisdom. It's foolishness when you don't know what to do, but then you decide to pour all of your energy into one thing. It's wisdom to know that if that one thing doesn't work, if it fails, then you're finished."

Jeff could understand that more than John could ever know. As much as he wanted to console his son, he realised that once again John was right. If a person devoted their life to something, only to have that something disappear –

That was why Jeff had allowed Scott to quit the air force. It was why he and Scott and James were spending eighteen hours a day putting the finishing touches on a portion of Tracy island that only they knew existed. Jeff too was in a position that - if his dream failed - he would have nothing left. He had devoted his entire life, since Lucy's death, to his project, and he would see it through to its completion.

Some people would call him and John fools, for their ability to focus their minds on one task and one task only. He didn't consider himself a fool, just a dreamer that would be a fool if his dream went foul.

"Dad." John's quiet voice shook Jeff from his contemplation. "Dad, you're drifting."

Shaking his head clear, Jeff righted the car and silently berated himself for letting his mind wander while he was driving. "Thanks John."

"Something on your mind?"

It was funny how John was always able to know when someone else was troubled; the boy had enough problems of his own to be constantly worrying about others. But it wasn't time to tell John what was going on, Jeff decided. His son had too many other things to think about. He didn't need one more.

"Just thinking," Jeff replied, "just thinking."

"About what?"

He doesn't quit, Jeff thought, he just doesn't quit. "Life."

"Hmmm." John smiled wryly, an amused twinkle coming to his eyes. "That's a pretty broad topic. Life, the universe, and everything perhaps?"

"You are a stubborn boy," Jeff declared, slowing down the vehicle, as the entrance to the Cape finally became visible. "I just hope that you remember that today. You're stubborn, and you don't give up."

"Of course not," John laughed quietly, his voice calmer than it had been for the last hour. "You've said it yourself. I take after you. I'm a Tracy."

The two men locked gazes for a long moment. "Definitely, son. You are most definitely a Tracy boy."

After more than twenty years away from the institute, Jeff Tracy didn't expect many people at Cape Canaveral to recognize him. He was distinctly flattered, therefore, when he was greeted at the door of the main building by a contingent of engineers and administrators alike that claimed to have been former colleagues of his.

"I'm sure you know the way," Alicia Berkman, the head director of research engineering, laughed as she took Jeff by the arm and pulled him through the throng. "The place hasn't changed that much since you quit."

Alicia was perhaps the stereotypical image of an engineer. Her brown hair was pulled up loosely into a ponytail, and she wore nothing fancier than casual dress pants and a cotton blouse. Middle age was already etching lines into her forehead, but a slight twinkle in her eyes hid her age and suggested that a much younger woman lay within.

"No," Jeff muttered, looking about and seeing that most things were still in the same places. Little things, like benches and the like, had been moved about. The walls had changed colour. But the receptionist's desk was still at the front, and there was still an old coin-operated vending machine leaning up beside the maintenance hallway.

John, who followed silently behind Jeff, didn't say much. He simply stared, as if he were in shock, at the entire room. Jeff didn't have the heart to tell John that it was nothing special, and was just the lobby. He doubted that John would care even if he did.

"And this is your son John?" Alicia asked, looking behind her back at the blond-haired teen. "He certainly looks a great deal like you, Jeff. Except for the eyes."

"Those are Lucy's. We noticed that the day that he was born."

Alicia smiled. "I'm sure that he has your passion for space, Jeff. And he surely possesses your skills in the trade." She stopped them in front of the desk, grabbing a stack of forms in her left arm. "We'll need these for later. John will have to fill them out while he's waiting."

John's incredulous expression caused Jeff to smile. "Get used to it, son. Half of NASA is paperwork."

"Paperwork?" John muttered, quietly so that no one but Jeff could hear. "It looks like she picked up the entire contents of a recycle bin."

"Pretty close." Grinning as Alicia turned to glare at him, Jeff shrugged, turned, and slapped John lightly on his shoulder. A quick tug had John beside Jeff, stuck between him and Alicia. "It's not that bad."

What Jeff was trying to hide from John was the amount of people that were following them 'inconspicuously', trying to get a good look at the son of Jeff Tracy. He had a feeling that the idea of being stalked would not sit well with his son, given how much John liked dealing people to begin with.

The trio finally approached a large set of double doors, which Alicia pushed open with her free hand. "John, you need to come in here with me. I'll introduce you to the members of the selection committee, and then we'll get started." She gave Jeff an apologetic look and pointed back at the lobby. "You'll have to sit out there. Sorry about that, I tried to convince them-"

"It's all right," Jeff interrupted smoothly, "I know what their policies are. John is more than mature enough to do this on his own. That's why he's here in the first place."

"Dad," John began, but before he could say more Jeff held up a hand and silenced him.

"You'll do fine, John. Just try your best, and don't forget that that's all that matters." Reaching out his arms and pushing John away to arm's length, Jeff took a long look at his son.

Though he let his head fall to his chest so that he didn't have to face his father, John could not hide from Jeff the emotions that played across his face. They were obvious to the older man, after so many years of caring for his sons.

So many things had changed in the young man in the past two years that Jeff couldn't even keep track, but nothing struck him more than the look of determination that twinkled deep within John's ice blue eyes. In many ways it represented everything else that had happened to John during that time. Overcoming a phobia so he could finally learn to fly, taking the time out to get in shape for the testing, learning two extra languages to help appease the requirements of the program - those were only a few of the sacrifices that he had made to pursue his dream. Yet, the muscular and poised looking young man that stood before Jeff was obviously ready to give up that much again . . . and more.

"I couldn't be more proud of you," Jeff said finally, taking John's chin in his hands and pushing the young man's head up so that he could look him in the eyes. "What you've done these past two years, in my books, is warrant alone for your suitability for the position."

"Dad . . ."

"Go for it," Jeff replied, pulling back his arms from his son. "I'll be waiting."

"Okay." John swallowed deeply, then turned and began to walk through the doors. He was halfway into the next room when he swung around suddenly, his face anxious. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Keep some lunch for me." John's face was more nervous looking than Jeff had ever seen it before. "Just in case." He didn't have to elaborate on what 'just in case' meant.

For what had to have been the tenth time in an hour, Jeff Tracy began to explain to an interested individual what he had been doing with his life since he had left the space program. "Engineering," he explained slowly, "mostly aeronautical and aerospace. Tracy Industries is one of the fastest growing companies in the world. We actually supply most of the parts that you people use in your rockets."

Alicia Berkman nodded from where she sat. "Mr. Tracy is right. NASA spends a great deal of money each year to keep his family happy and fed."

Those assembled around the table had a long chuckle at Jeff's expense. "Really, Jeff," said Lawrence Clayton, who had worked with Jeff on a few projects in his time. "I heard that you even went and bought yourself an island recently. An island!"

"Oh, I had the island already," Jeff replied smugly, drawing more laughter from the crowd. "Bought it a few years back when the owner nation was trying to get rid of it cheap. It was just our summer cottage."

"A cottage!" Lawrence looked almost insulted. "He calls it a cottage." Taking a sip from his drink, he pointed a long finger at Jeff. "Mark my words, those boys of yours will become spoiled if you're not careful."

Jeff sighed. "They're good kids."

"Looks that way," Alicia put in, "that boy of yours looked completely on top of things, at least while I was watching the examination."

Lawrence's attention seemed to be grabbed by the comment. "Good head on his shoulders?"

"Of course, Lawrence, would I lie?"

Jeff snorted, amused with the entire exchange. He remembered how things had been when he had been with NASA. Alicia was right - very little had changed.

Glancing down at her watch, Alicia raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Pretty good. He must have done all right on the technical aptitude test. They must have him in physical training right now."

Jeff couldn't contain a cringe. "I suppose." Even though John had apparently been able to overcome his fear of normal flying, the forces that he would be exposed to in the centrifuge were likely more than enough to make him ill, phobia or not. John might be able to hold on, but Jeff also had seen how nervous his son had been when he walked into the room. One twitch of his nerves, and John would be finished.

Peering at Jeff, Alicia gave the man a scrutinising look. "You're not worried, are you? Jeff Tracy, the man who has logged more hours in space than any other person his age? It's just a ride in the centrifuge and a couple of other things."

But John isn't me, Jeff thought sadly. "I trust my son. He's a good kid, and he knows what he's doing."

"Good genes," Lawrence argued, "are always a sign. He can't go wrong with Jeff Tracy as a father. He'll ace the tests."

"Want to talk about it?"

The warm waves of the Atlantic Ocean lapped across Jeff Tracy's feet as he spoke, trailing gentle lines in the sandy beaches of the Cape. The sun, which had nearly fallen to the horizon, cast a warm glow across the water. Ripples of light danced about, reflecting hues of red and gold onto the few clouds that dotted the sky.

"Hmm?" Jeff crouched down so that he was level with his son, who was sitting cross-legged amidst the water and the sand. "John?"

John didn't answer. His thoughts were apparently elsewhere, probably lost amongst the water and the sun.

"Alicia said you did very well. They were very impressed with your knowledge and expertise."

Finally moving, John began to trace patterns into the sand with his finger. "They said I had potential," he replied quietly. The pain in his voice was obvious. "A great deal."

"That's all right then." Trying to make things as easy as possible, Jeff sat down in the muck, ignoring the stains that he was obviously getting on the underside of his suit. "That's a very big compliment."

John's eyes glistened, in the same way that the ocean did. "They offered me a job."

Based upon what Alicia had told him, Jeff had guessed as much. "Where?"

"In Launch co-ordination. On the ground, in the main facility."

There it was, Jeff thought. The reason that John had simply walked from the building, without looking back, until he had come upon a roadblock that he could not traverse. He wondered - if the ocean hadn't been there - whether John would have walked all of the way to Africa.

"It was all a joke," John muttered bitterly, "who was I kidding?"

"John."

His face flushing, John turned angrily towards his father. "I don't know what they were expecting. I'm not perfect!" He slammed the ground with his fist.

"Maybe I could go talk to them," Jeff offered, trying to keep his voice under control. "I could-"

"Do nothing." The words were spat with a chill feel to them. "Don't you get it? The son of Jeff Tracy, the Jeff Tracy, couldn't take the centrifuge test. He threw up on the feet of the head evaluator. He's a disgrace. A disappointment . . . to everyone." The final words degraded into a sob.

Unable to speak, Jeff simply reached over and pulled his son to his chest in a tight hug.

"This is stupid," John sputtered, "I'm crying over this. No wonder I didn't pass the test. They're right. I don't have bravery or stamina. The right stuff isn't there. I was scared out of my mind, Dad. I don't know if it was the phobia or my body that caused me to be sick. I guess it doesn't really matter, the result is still the same."

"No." Shaking his head, Jeff held John as tight as he could. "No, they're wrong, John. Son, you are one of the bravest people that I've ever met, and I've worked with some of the best."

Another sob escaped John's lips. "You're my father. You're supposed to say that."

"Then I'm biased," Jeff replied, "but it's true. And I won't have you argue about it anymore."

John nodded his head slightly but said nothing.

"Alicia told me that they've never offered that position to someone of your age before."

"I know."

Jeff didn't need to ask the next question. He knew that John had already formed it in his mind, and was already answering it.

"I can start next week. They've given me an apartment on site. And it won't take that long to move my stuff." John closed his eyes, sending a final pair of tears falling to the sand. "I guess I'm just not meant to be an astronaut."

"You don't need to be. You can do something else, John, and still be a good man. Hang in there." A tiny smile crept onto Jeff's face. "The best man that I've ever known worked in the cafeteria at Cape Canaveral. He never went to college, yet he did so much good simply by keeping us crazy NASA personnel sane in the lonely hours of the morning. Made the most wonderful cup of coffee in the world, and had a mind that could rival a philosopher's."

John chuckled weakly, his voice shaky. "I'll be all right, dad."

It was Jeff's turn to respond with, "I know." He ruffled John's hair, wondering where his boy had vanished that he had always held in his arms. "You always are, John. That's strength and bravery. The ability to look inside yourself for the strength that you need to survive. The bravery to decide to go it alone when there's no one there to help you."

"Dad."

"I haven't always been there for you." Jeff smiled sadly. "I realize that. But I'm here for you now."

John reached up a hand grabbed a hold of his father's arm. "I know," he whispered, his blue eyes focused on a point past the horizon. "I know."

"You've kept us going since your mother died," Jeff said suddenly, his voice quiet. "I know how much you want to succeed in life, John."

"Hmm." Closing his eyes, John pursed his lips and raised a hand to cover his face.

"And I know that even if you're disappointed, you'll still give this other position your sweat and blood. Am I right?"

The comment struck home. Slowly, as if still trying to put off the moment, John nodded. "I won't disappoint you dad. Not again."

"You're not a disappointment. I don't know what they were expecting to see, but when I look at you I see my son - John Tracy, not Jeff Tracy - and I am not disappointed."

Whispering something, John pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head in the soft material of the cargo pants.

"Maybe, John," Jeff whispered back. "Your mom was a special person. Being like her wouldn't be a sin."

The water had finally stopped rippling, as the sun had gone down and the air had cooled. The ocean was calm, a silent mirror reflecting the gentle hues of sunset. In the water, Jeff could see the reflection of John Tracy, eyes red from crying, expression serene as he tried to look inside of himself. Blond hair fell about his face, and into those eyes that were so piercing.

Blue eyes that belonged to his mother.

A/N: And there we go – John is off to NASA, but not to outer space. Grins evilly. How does this resolve? We'll see in coming chapters. This chapter was for all you John fans out there - I had fun writing it (I felt so bad making him fail, though), and I hope you have fun reading it. First, though, it's on to other things. A huge thank-you goes out to Ariel D for beta reading this for me. Maybe sometime in the near future I'll be a good beta reader and send back her chapter. ;) I am not this deserving . . .

Reviews! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the . . . short little milk carton blurb that I tried to pass off as a chapter. I promise, Scott does have a nice big part later on.

zeilfanaat – Yay! Dances Which episodes are they? Ahem. I hold no responsibility for the actions of my dearest beta reader, except maybe to toss a nice little box of cookies in her direction for thanks. They are absolutely not a subtle hint to keep up the flaunting. ;)

Ariel D – You flaunter. ;) Snickers But you've read it already!

moonlightbear – I hope this qualifies as soon. :) Glad you had some laughs with the last chapter. I was horrified having to post something so short! Guess how long the unedited first revision is so far? 97,000 words. We've got a long way to go . . . ;D So don't worry, I'm still writing.

miz greenleaf – I have good news and bad news. Scott won't have a big chapter all to himself until closer to the end. Good news? He gets two whole chapters to himself later. :) So, do you have your pilot's license? If so, I'm jealous. ;) I really want to learn how to fly. Computer games don't cut it.

Da da da dum! Tune in next time for the chapter "In the Know", where the rest of the Tracy boys accidentally stumble upon a hidden secret of Tracy Island.

FAB!