Disclaimer: Gravitation is owned by Maki Murakami. I am not Maki Murakami, which is a shame.

Author note: Some people may not like the way Tohma is portrayed in this chapter, but he can't be an evil scheming bastard all the time.
Expect manipulative deviousness in the later chapters.

resubmitted because I had a weird formating moment, and forgot the disclaimer.

Ten years ago...
A year before Noriko got pregnant and got married, two years before Tohma married Mika, five years before Ryuichi went to America. Four thirty in the morning in the artist's bar at The Roundhouse. Tohma and Noriko sat at a table on their own. They were almost the last people there. Tohma had changed into street clothes. Noriko had simply thrown her trench coat over her stage costume.

Noriko lifted her shot glass. "And a one two three and down the hatch."
"Eh To-chan! You didn't drink!"
Tohma shook his head and watched as the room slowly caught up with him again.Noriko reached for the bottle and refilled her glass.

"Now let's do this properly."
She raised the shot glass and stared at it uncertainly, "to dick head exes and absent friends."

Tohma looked at his hands. How funny! he made his living from his hands and he'd never really looked at them before. He had nice hands he decided. The line of the veins along the back, no webbing. They were strong hands. Good hands. He pushed his palms together in the beginning of a warm up exercise.

"To-chan?"

"No more. I've had enough. My shands will be haking tomorrow."
That was funny he decided, he didn't know why that was funny, but it was hilarious. He started laughing. Noriko started laughing too.

"We're not working tomorrow," she reminded him. And for some reason that was funny too.

The couple at the bar turned and stared at them.

"We're making too much noise... Sshhh!" Tohma whispered.

"We're noisy muthas" Noriko announced loudly. They both started giggling.

It took a while before they both regained their composure.

Noriko raised her shot glass again. "Come on! I did a toast - you have to drink to it."

"No."

"Wimp! Wimp! Wimp!"

"Sod it! What were we drinking to again?"

"Dick head exes and absent friends. Ready? A one, two and a three."

"You sound like a drummer." Tohma remembered why that wasn't the best thing to say only after he'd said it.
Noriko didn't look too bothered.

"All drummers are dick heads," she stated. "Do you think we should drink to that too?"

"Nori-chan forget about him. He was a bastard."

"Yah! I know - here's to more bastards in the great big ocean."

"Why do you always go for bastards? You deserve better than that. You're pretty, and talented, and vivacious."

"Hmm! If I didn't know you better I'd think you were offering." Noriko refilled her shot glass and giggled.

"Maybe I am?"

"Man! You're wasted!"

"Am not!"

"Are too." Noriko stuck her tongue out, "You're pissed as a fart! I'm going to blackmail you about this tomorrow. What will Ryu-chan say? Think he'll scratch my eyes out?"

"Shut up! People are looking."

" 'People are looking, people are looking'. We make our living out of being looked at To-chan. Get with the program!"

"Chuck me some of that". Tohma reached for the bottle. Filled his glass.

"You sure that's wise." Noriko giggled.

"I need to settle down. Do the wife and kids thing. I'm nearly twenty five."

"So? I dated a thirty six year old once. And he wasn't old at all. Not where it counted." She gave a dirty laugh, that made it quite clear where it counted.

"No. I'm serious. I'm getting old... My parents are talking about getting me married off, doing my duty. All that crap...
I like you Nori-chan. You like me. People never see beyond the music videos, and the magazines, and the talk in the gossip columns. There's never going to be any one out there for either of us."

"Now you are drunk and maudlin." Noriko removed the bottle.

"Seriously Nori-chan. You must think that sometimes. Don't you think we'd be better off together?"

"I think you're doing a weird gay best friend thing, and it's kinda cute."

"I'm not gay."

"No of course not. You just sleep with guys."

"I've only slept with two guys."

"And how many girls exactly?"

"Shut up!"

"Denial is not a river in Egypt," Noriko said in accented English.

She reached for the bottle. "And I'm going to drink to that. Then I'm going home."

She smacked Tohma's hand. "Not you, you've had enough... It's getting late."

"Yeah."

"To-chan about what you said earlier."

"It's alright. I was being weird."

"It's just I have this friend..."

"No. Absolutely not. And no."

"A girl friend... She's very pretty. Comes from Kyoto – her father runs a temple or something. She's at Tokyo U at the moment. About to graduate."

"Clever girl."

"Did I mention she's very pretty? Stunning in fact. Does modeling work."

"You sleeping with her or something?"

Noriko giggled. "Bitch!"

"Come on. What's wrong with her?"

"She's engaged."

"Nori-chan have you gone quite insane?"

"And she doesn't want to be. It's an arranged marriage - one of those practically from the cradle jobs. The thing is, she doesn't like him, and he doesn't like her. Her father's really traditional, and he's pushing it. It's doing her head in."

"Boyfriends?"

"She's like me. She only dates bastards."

"Hmm... What's she like?"

"She's a total bitch." Noriko saw Tohma's expression, "In a good way. She's an enjoyer, always has a good time, makes the best of things, hardworking but only when it suits her. Stroppy as all fuck, doesn't take shit from anyone. She's very upfront and she's got this really sardonic sense of humour, and she's kind of cynical. Not in a bad way, but if she doesn't like you, she'll tell you so, and she doesn't like pop music much anyway. She's not going to go fan girl on you."

"I'm not sure about this."

"Her modeling agency are holding a party next Friday. If you're still up for it tomorrow I'll blag an extra invite and you can come and check her out. Seriously To-chan I really think you'd like her."

"She's a total bitch... Stroppy as all fuck, doesn't take shit from anyone." Tohma muttered to himself.

He took another shot of whiskey and coughed at the raw taste. He hated whiskey. Why did he never remember that?
Why did he always buy the stuff? Why did I buy it? "Because Mika drinks it."
He rang her mobile again. Still no answer.

He tried Eiri's landline again. It rang and rang. He was just about to give up.

"Hello?" some one said sleepily. The pink haired kid. Tohma wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to him or not.

"Hello... Who's there?"
Some one muttered something in the background.

"But it might be some one in trouble." Shuichi said, apparently forgetting he was still on the phone. More muttering. "You're so mean. I read this story in the paper once... I do know how to read... You are so nasty... Oh right! Hello. Are you still there?"

Don't say anything, hang up.

"Good evening Shindou kun. May I speak to Eiri?"

"Seguichi san" Shuichi sounded concerned, "it's awfully late."

There was more muttering in the background. Shuichi whispered something.

"I'm sorry Seguichi san, Yuki can't come to the phone right now. Is it very important? It is rather late."

Damn you. Die in agony you pink haired brat. And he's called Eiri not Yuki. Why can't you call him by his actual name? You've been together long enough. Now put me over to him, you little tart before I fire your arse.

"I was worried about Mika. She's not picking up her phone"

"Anne is away this evening."

Sister? When did you start calling her sister? She can't stand you. You little gobshite.

"Where is she? Has she gone to Kyoto?"

There was more muttering in the background. "Just tell him to fuck off," Eiri said distinctively.

Shuichi whimpered, "Seguichi-san, she isn't in Kyoto either, she's visiting a friend. I'm sorry. Do you want to leave a message?"

There was an unexpected softness in Shuici's voice; a tone Tohma had never heard anyone use to him before. It took a second for him to recognise it. Don't pity me you little punk.

"Um..." Shuichi was hesitant. "Is everything OK? Are you alright?"

You patronising little jerk.

There was more muttering in the background.

"No. No. It's fine. I'm sorry to bother you so late."

"Ah well. Goodbye then."

Shuichi put the phone down.

"I've made a fool of myself," Tohma told the whiskey bottle. He poured another measure. He didn't notice the taste this time.

Noriko! Noriko loved him. Noriko was always there for him. Noriko was the best person in the world.

He pressed seven on his speed dial

"To-chan?" Half curious-half laughing. He knew she was the one to call.

"Nori-chan I love you."

"To-chan?" definitely a slight edge to her voice. The night time Noriko, wild and slightly dangerous.

The Noriko who was never in bed before four, who smoked like a chimney and liked coke, who could drink the boys under the table, knew all the good clubs...

The old Noriko, before they all grew up. She was slightly drunk, he could hear it in her voice.

Someone muttered something in the background. There was a slight thud against the receiver as Noriko put her hand over the phone and whispered something.

"Moshi, moshi?"

"It's alright To-chan, I'm here"

"I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No it's fine, Testuya and I went out this evening. We just got back."

"Hmm. You still with that goat?"

Noriko giggled, "he's not a goat, he's my big bad bear."

"He's got a beard like a goat. An old billy goat gruff"

"My husband isn't a Billy Goat, he's a bear. Screw you To-chan."

"That's not a very nice thing to say to your best friend."

"Shouldn't call my husband a goat then. Arsehole"

There was more muttering in the background. Noriko covered the handset again.

"Moshi, moshi?"

"Just taking it outside, Testuya... To-chan are you still there?"

"Don't you hate the rain?"

"Hmm. Not really. Rain is fun. Somedays I wish I was Saki's age again and could just go outside and jump in puddles and no one would care."

"Jump in the puddles anyway. Who gives a shit. Ryu would jump in puddles"

"Ryu-chan doesn't give a shit what people think."

"I wish I was Ryuichi."

"What? You wish to be chronically broke, talk to soft toys (and I swear he thinks that fragging rabbit talks back sometimes), be psychologically damaged, have a personality disorder, and need a gazillion billion years of rehab before you can live a normal life?"

"Don't say things like that about Ryu."

"..."

"Don't you think he has it easier?"

"No. No I don't. I always thought you were the one that had it made."

"You don't think I should have left Mika?"

"You didn't leave her. She left you. I'm not getting involved To-chan, I like you both."

"There isn't any point."

"What?"

"There isn't any point."

"..."

"There isn't any point to any of it Nori-chan. Its all a load of bollocks."

"To-chan, you're scaring me now."

"Sorry. Sorry Nori-chan. Forget I said it."

"No... It's OK."

There was a long pause.

"To-chan where are you?"

"..."

"To-chan?"

"..."

"Moshi moshi... Damn phone company!"

"It's alright. I'm still here."

"People are worried about you. Where are you?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm going now, I've got something I need to do."

"To-chan are you close? I could pop over. We could go to that pool club. Shoot some balls. Talk about the old days."

"It's three thirty in the morning Nori-chan. You've got a husband... and a kid."

"..."

"Noriko-chan do you remember that time with Ryuichi?"

"What?"

"Ryuichi is an idiot."

"What are you...? Tohma Seguichi where the fuck are you?" There was no trace of the gamine sex kitten left in Noriko's voice, she sounded alert, grown up. Noriko the thirty year old woman, the mother of an eight year old daughter, the professional musician at the top of her field. "Tell me immediately, I'm going to trace the call."

"I'm on my mobile, idiot. Goodbye Nori-chan. I love you. I hope you'll always be happy. Jump in the puddles!"

"..."

"To-chan? To-chan are you still there?"

"To-chan?"... "You bastard!"

He poured another measure.

Six years ago... Room 414...