Ally's mum seated us down at the table.. the food smelt amazing!
Carbonara! Her mum said while she could tell I was enchanted..
"I love cooking carbanara.." I slipped out
Her mum looked puzzled
"Huh? You can cook carbanara.. how?"
If only they knew I had to literally force myself to read the instructions and literally cry in the process
"Oh.. my dad.. he taught me.. he says I'm an expert"
"Oh well ally.. maybe you should learn a few things from mia here..god I wish you could grow up a bit sometimes"
The mood was light.. I didn't even know how to act, It felt odd to have no worries. I don't think I'd been able relax after school in months! I'd usually clean up the place as soon as I'd get home.. then start dinner for my brother and dad.. oh god that reminded me.. I'd been anxious to check my phone..
it can't be that bad right
I slowly pulled out my phone and clicked the home button..
NOTHING??
I pulled up the message to see he'd read it..
I didn't know what that meant??? Was he mad.. didn't he care.. I honestly had no idea..? I tried not to overthink
we finished the dinner and ally didn't even say thank you for the meal.. she got up and literally dragged me from my seat to go upstairs with her,as she was rushing me out I thanked her mother for the meal.. just as we were halfway up the stairs..
we heard a knock at the door.. I gulped
Please god no..
ally didn't seem to care but I pulled on her "it's probably my dad"
"What? You literally just had dinner, you can't go yet"
Her mum answered the door
The fear was building again.. so much for feeling peaceful for one second of my life
It was my dad..
His smile was warming to ally's mum
"Ohh.. hi who could this be" ally's mum teased
I honestly couldn't work out his emotion
He stood by the door and looked at me and smiled.. maybe he was ok?
"Come on sweetheart we gotta go home, say thankyou to ally's mum for today"
"Oh don't worry gray, she was the most kindest guest possible!"
I walked down the stairs and waved to ally
"Oh are you going to parents evening?" Her mum asked my dad
"Ha, Mia you won't miss that especially as your crush will be there" ally said
"Who's that then Mia" her mum asked teasing me again..
I didn't even want to look at my dad.. I was praying he was thinking this was some silly joke
I could feel the tension rising
"Her English teacher of course.. they even had private words after class today"
I just wanted to scream
I tried to play it off
"Omg I literally hate him"
We just stood there in silence for a few seconds..
"Alright anyway.. I'll see you soon Mia ! You can come anytime!"
"Thanks! Jill" my dad said as we left
We waved again as they closed the door.
I took in a deep breath hoping everything would be ok.. I mean I guess it was irresponsible.. to just go round my friends house when I know where my responsibilities Lie, I hadn't done this before..
He opened the door,?normally I'd be allowed to sit in the front.. but he opened the back door.. not a good sign .. he didn't say a word
I was still trying to not be so pessimistic.
He slammed my door closed.. welp here we go I wasn't getting out of this one. He got in and just oddly looked towards me and held out his hand ..I was confused
"Are you stupid?" He asked in a whispered tone.."What?" I said meekly
"Phone.."
I pulled it out quickly and gave it to him
That was the last thing he said to me.. the drive was silent..
I knew I shouldn't have gone.. god I'm such a fool.. I felt like ripping my hair out. I knew he'd only get angrier if I said anything.. but I just wanted to explain! It wasn't my idea.. I never ever want to disobey him..
We pulled into our street and and I was just feeling more and more nervous..
We got out and walked up the stairs still in Silence, As he opened the door I saw my brother mac sitting on the stairs .. phew
When it was all of us he didn't act like anything was wrong.. well not as bad anyway
"Finally! Now can we have dinner!" Mac asked
"Well you'd have to ask Mia.Are we having dinner?" He asked Condescendingly
I was brave "oh? Well Can't we have a takeaway or something.."
Mac was there.. he surely wouldn't disagree
"No, your cooking, Mia will call you down when it's ready" he said to mac ..
Didn't take long for him to rush upstairs
I held my head down defeated as I walked into the living room
"So what do you want for dinner?" I asked
"I don't know figure it out" he said coldly
I was honestly panicking.. I didn't know what to cook?? I was tired.. my head was all over the place. He just stood there.. I was hoping he would leave me to it.. but he was watching my every move.
I looked in the fridge, nothing was coming to my head and I knew I had a time limit before he flipped.. I just grabbed a couple of eggs, and some veggies.
omelette! nice and simple I thought.
I'd gotten pretty good at cooking.. but it was a struggle at first.. I was thrown in to the deep end..I just asked my dad what's for dinner.. his reply was "I don't know figure it out".. sounds familiar right.
So I made myself toast.. once he saw me.. he literally got in my face and screamed that I'm ungrateful.. he demanded that I make the family a meal.. I started crying.. I didn't understand? I didn't know how to cook.. I'd never seen him so angry before.
He got a pan out and started mocking me.. acting as if I was stupid..
he left me to figure it out.. so I did
I made pasta.. for the first time.. The most simplest thing you can cook..Of course I didn't add butter or anything .. but he didn't complain.. he stroked my hair after he'd finished to lighten the mood..
but ever since then it's been my responsibility to cook for us every night.. on occasion he will order us takeout..
He sat down at the table waiting for his food..
I was hoping once he'd eaten dinner I could just go upstairs and sleep..
dinner was ready and I called mac down..
I didn't make myself a plate as I'd already eaten.. I thought it could be a good excuse to go upstairs. I served mac and dad and I thought I could just sneak upstairs
I was literally nearly out of sight
"Mia sit down" he asked
"I don't have any dinner though" I said trying to act confused
He just sneered
I quickly sat down.. mac was finished already and literally rushed upstairs.. back to his game.. dad let him do whatever he wanted..
so now it was just me and him again..
I didn't even want to move..
once he finished.. he got up.. not knowing if that was my Cue to follow..
I slowly got up
"What are you doing?" He demanded
I closed my eyes.. "I'm just going to go upstairs now.."
"That's funny..when did I say you could Mia?" He asked making me feel stupid
"I'm sorry.. I just"
"You just what.. you thought you could disappear for hours and act like nothing happened?"
He walked towards me.. He was so much taller then me I just felt overwhelmed.. my throat felt like sharp knifes.. I knew I couldn't hold in my tears for much longer.. I wasn't strong.. I could never handle his anger towards me.. my lip was trembling.
"I'm sorry.. I didn't know what to do.. I was already in her car I felt like I had no choice"
"Oh? Is she more important than our family huh.. you can happily tell us to piss off is that it?"
I just took it
Nothing I could say could make this better
I heard my phone buzz... great
My dad pulled it out and looked at it
"Yeah It's either me or her"
I wanted to scream .. she was my only friend
"Here I'll text her myself"
"NO" I screamed It was just instinct
He instantly threw my phone and across the room and ran towards me.. he grabbed my hair and made me beg
"Did you just scream at me? Your own father?"
I couldn't breathe.. it was hard to get my words out.. the tears had overtaken my thoughts I tried my hardest to say sorry..
he let go of my hair and walked out..
I slowly walked over to my phone..
I picked it up to discover it was smashed..
I'd get the blame.. I put it on the kitchen table.. I walked towards the mirror.. my face was bright red.. eyes were extremely puffy.. I looked horrible.. I was still hyperventilating.. I needed to calm down
I splashed some water on my face hoping it could calm me down..
"Mia" I heard him call out ..