Chapter 2 – The Voice

Author's Note: Parallel shadows. Do you finally Get It now? ;)

~ Amina Gila

It's been a couple weeks since everything happened, and if anything, it only seems to be hurting worse. Luke has had enough time to think everything over, and… Maybe he can understand why the Rebels were so gripped with anger and fear and a desire for revenge that they did what they did, but that doesn't justify it.

But Luke should have been able to save him. Vader was his father, and he failed to save him. Maybe he should have done something differently. He knew the Rebellion wouldn't trust him. Maybe he should have gone straight to get medical help elsewhere instead of going back to Endor.

It's all their fault he died.

Luke's hands move almost automatically over the controls on his fighter as he dives forwards, shooting at the Imperials surrounding them. He knows it's true, and he doesn't think the pain of this betrayal is ever going to fade, at least not for a long time.

They don't deserve your forgiveness.

He shouldn't be thinking about this right now when he's supposed to be focusing on the battle, but he can't seem to get it out of his head. The thoughts that keep popping into his head are true, and that's the worst part. He has no reason to forgive them for what they did, and nor does he want to. They took his father from him. True, it was because of the Emperor in the first place, but –

They should have saved him. They were acting like the Empire itself when they refused.

He can't deny that that's the truth. The Empire does things like that all the time. He thought better of the Rebellion than this, but apparently he was wrong. If he doesn't focus, though, they could risk losing this battle, and he could easily end up getting people killed when he could have saved them.

Do they really deserve your help, after what they did?

Do they? He squashes the thought as quickly as it comes. Of course they do. It wasn't a decision by everyone. He can't take out his anger on them by – What is he even thinking?!

They betrayed you. If they could do this, what else could they do?

It's the truth, and that's the worst part. He can't shake thoughts like this from his mind, and it's only growing increasingly worse. Maybe it should concern him that he doesn't really care to try and stop it, but he can't even feel that much. He is angry and this isn't something he can ever forgive them for. His father is dead because of them.

(And because of him. He should have done something, anything differently, but he doesn't know what.)

He couldn't avoid those he worked with in the Rebellion forever but being back with them is hard. Everything feels cold and distant, and it feels like he doesn't belong with them.

You don't. They killed your father.

Another wave of anger washes through him, and he sends his fighter spinning forwards, shooting down several more Imperials. It's also because of the Empire that his father is gone, so for now, he let out his anger as he fights. He knows he isn't supposed to do that, but he isn't actually using the Force, so it shouldn't matter that much. The anger and betrayal – and grief – are swallowing him whole and he needs a way to let it out.

It feels like there's no one he can trust anymore, because he does have to wonder. If the Rebellion could do this, what else could they do?

Luke manages to keep his focus for the rest of the battle – at least as much as he can – finally shooting down the last of the Imperial fighters, then flying with the rest of the Rebels to a rendezvous point.

He doesn't know why, but suddenly, all he can think about is that first space battle he ever fought in – right after he saw his father for the first time. "Remember the fight over the Death Star?" Luke asks to the empty fighter – the communications with everyone are turned off now, so he has privacy. He talks to Anakin occasionally, even if he knows he can't hear him. Maybe there's just a part of him that wants to pretend Anakin is still here with him, although in some ways that makes how much it hurts even worse. He doesn't know how he could ever let go of this.

You shouldn't.

And not thinking about him as much as he does feels wrong. "I know you were about to shoot me down – " the faintest smile appears on his face for the moment. He wishes they'd spend more of their brief meetings doing something other than trying to kill each other. He resolutely does not let himself think about how it was Vader who had shot down Biggs that day. " – but… we were flying together. I always wanted that. I loved flying when I was younger, and when Uncle Owen told me you were a navigator on a spice freighter, I knew you must have loved flying, too."

He tries to imagine the look on Anakin's face if he heard that claim, considering that he was actually a Jedi.

"It was one thing I knew I had in common with you, and I just wanted to do it more. I wanted to leave Tatooine and see places, the same way you had."

It hurts, it hurts so much knowing that he's never going to see his father again. He'll never be able to talk to him about any of this, except for the empty space around him. Suddenly the silence in return for his words is almost more than he can handle.

"I miss you," Luke whispers, "I wish you were still here. I wish we could fly together like this."

No one responds, and the pain, guilt, and anger inside of him only grow steadily.

**w**

As soon as he found out that Leia was his sister and had the Force, he'd been thinking about whether or not she'd want to be trained. There was hardly time to talk about it at the time, since he was leaving right then to turn himself over to Vader.

But he's dead because of the Alliance.

But now… maybe he could talk to her about it. Maybe. Suddenly thinking about it, though, he doesn't know if he wants to. He doesn't know if he's ready to do that right now. There's little he can focus on past his father's death and betrayal that came with it, and he feels less and less inclined to spend time around anyone.

Why should you? They betrayed you.

Leia didn't though, and the very least he could do is talk to her about it, but… He simply can't imagine it right now. He was supposed to start rebuilding the Jedi once the Sith were dead but he doesn't even know where to start.

The Jedi wanted you to kill him.

And that's the other thing. He can understand why Ben and Yoda wanted him to kill Vader, but they should never have lied to him about it. He can't even imagine it, if he had been the one to kill Vader – Never to know that he was his father, or maybe even worse, to find out about it after the fact. That would have destroyed him completely, and it would be on the remaining Jedi. That didn't happen, but…

It could have, though. Give yourself time.

Maybe that is what he needs to do. He knows spending so much time lost in his own head probably isn't for the best, but he can't find it in himself to care.

**w**

It's been closer to a month now, and with the constant missions they're going on to take down the last strongholds of the Empire, Luke finds less and less time to be around Leia, Han, or Chewie. Even when he is, the conversations are rarely about anything more than the mission.

He avoids talking to anyone else entirely.

Except the voice in his head.

And as time goes in, he's beginning to get more and more certain that this isn't just a voice. There's no way it can be. Some of the things it says to him… they aren't him. They don't sound like him, even if more and more he finds himself agreeing with everything it's saying.

He tried meditating on it a couple times and started to wonder if he wasn't imagining another Force presence touching his. For a fleeting, foolish moment, he dares to imagine what if it was Anakin?

But no. His father practically wanted to die. He would never encourage Luke to be angry at the Rebellion for it. (That only infuriates him even more.)

But he knows with certainty that the voice can't just be a voice of his own thoughts anymore when it encourages him to follow his instincts above orders on a couple missions, and gives him other such advice, so they succeeded on a few missions they may otherwise have failed on.

"Who are you?" Luke inquires mentally, probing at the… Presence he can only occasionally feel.

For a moment, nothing happens.

"Hello? Who are you?" he asks again, poking at it.

"Someone who knows and understands you."

That's… odd. Although he has to admit it seems true.

"But who are you?"

"Someone who wants to help you."

That… was no more explanatory than the previous answer, but something about the soothingness of the tone makes him believe it anyway. He doesn't know who this might be, but maybe it's a weird Force thing. Ben was able to talk to him through the Force, after all, so maybe this is someone else who also can? Which means it couldn't be a bad thing.

"Why do you want to help me?" he wonders, curiously.

"Because you need it." It sounds sincere, and he finds himself believing it. Why would they lie about that? They've helped him, in a way, as he's distanced from everyone else. He just can't bring himself to spend time around them anymore, at least not like how he used to. Being along with his thoughts is… easier. Or maybe it's harder, but talking to anyone about anything requires a strength he can't seem to find these days.

Not when he's trying to deal with the pain of it all, or the betrayal, or the guilt that he also can't shake, because maybe he should have been faster, instead of just standing there arguing while they refused to do anything. If he had left immediately, maybe there would have been time, but no.

So, he prefers to stay out here alone with the voice in his head. Maybe that's not such a bad thing.

(He misses Anakin so, so much. He wants to know him, and he can't shake the memory of their last moments from mind. He can't forget how he had just dared to hope that maybe they'd finally have a chance to spend the rest of their lives together, and all of that was ripped away.)

**w**

Luke is working on his fighter – brooding is probably the more accurate term, especially because his eyes keep drifting to the Rebel symbol on it – when he hears someone approaching. "Luke?" Leia asks, stopping behind him.

He looks up. "What?"

She eyes him, expression pinched. "Are you okay?"

He blinks. "Yeah, why?" He hasn't talked about it to anyone, and he doesn't want to.

She crosses her arms. "You've hardly been on the Falcon recently. When you are, you're usually in your room. I can tell that you're avoiding everyone."

Luke lets out a quiet sigh, running a hand distractedly over the wing of his fighter. Of course, she would notice. He's not really surprised about that. Or that she came here to call him out on it. "There's just… a lot going on," he answers lamely.

"A lot going on?" Leia repeats, moving a little closer to him, "Luke, talk to me. Is this… this is about your father?"

He tenses, an instinctive part of his mind expecting an accusation, and he braces himself for any coming argument. "I should have been able to save him," Luke replies, bitterly.

Do you really want to talk to her about this? You know she hates him.

He clenches his jaw. Yes, he knows that, and that's what makes it so difficult. He can't freely talk to her about it, not knowing how she really feels. He wishes there's someone else who would understand, but there's no one…

"What happened wasn't your fault, Luke."

Maybe, maybe not. There's so many things he could have done differently, but in the end, he knows who's fault it really is. "It's the Alliance's," he responds, bitterly, turning away.

She's silent for a few long moments, and he can only imagine why. What she's probably really thinking, that she's glad that he's dead, regardless of how it happened. "Yes," she agrees, at length, "And nothing excuses that. I won't… pretend to understand how you feel about this, but I know what it was like after I lost my own parents. I didn't want to talk to anyone either, but it only made me feel worse. I know being alone sometimes feels easier, but it's not. We miss having you around on the Falcon. We have a little time there now, if you want to come join us."

He sighs, looking up again. "Alright." Leia won't back down until he agrees – she's so stubborn like that – and she's probably right anyway.

She doesn't really care. You're just a pity case to her. She's glad Vader is dead

Luke breathes in sharply, past his rising wave of anger and bitterness. Leia might care that he's upset, but he doesn't think the voice is wrong about the rest. Truthfully, he'd rather not find out. Someone at the outpost stops to talk to her on the way, so Luke continues on ahead, to the Falcon.

Only to be promptly yanked into a Wookie's arms the moment he steps in the door.

He lets out a most undignified yelp of surprise but returns the hug. "What's this all about?"

"Leia said you were sad," Chewbacca growls, patting his head before letting go.

Despite himself he can't help but smile. "I suppose," he admits.

"Why?" the Wookie asks, with an amount of concern in his voice that somehow still makes him look adorable, even if Luke is used to that side of him by now.

"I… don't really want to get into it."

Chewie bobs his head up and down in understanding. "Can I help?"

"No, it's… it's fine." There's nothing they can do, not really. There's nothing anyone can do to bring his father back.

Are you sure?

Luke freezes, breath catching in his throat. "What are you talking about?" he demands mentally, probing harshly at the voice, barely catching himself from demanding the inquiry out loud.

Ancient myths, legends. On ways to reverse death.

That's… but that doesn't make any sense. Death is final. It is. It's the very fact of life. "I don't understand," he replies, "How…"

"Luke?"

He snaps back to himself, to see Han and Chewbacca eyeing him. "Yeah?"

"You're staring at the wall," Han replies, raising an eyebrow, "Are you sure you're okay?"

He shakes his head, trying to refocus on his surroundings, even as the voice's words ring through his head again. There might be a way to bring his father back. "I'm fine. Let's… do something."

He tries to keep himself occupied with Han and Chewbacca, and Leia, too, once she shows up again. It's good to be with them again, but he finds himself feeling increasingly energy-drained, and a part of his mind keeps running back to the words from the voice.

It makes no sense, though. That's not how the Force works. That's not how life works. It can't just be reversed. So why can't he stop thinking about it?

But as he looks around the Falcon, and sees the happy faces of all his friends, it only sends another ache through his heart. His father should be with him. It doesn't feel like anything will be complete unless he is, and he can't imagine spending the rest of his life like this.

Finally, though he knows they're going to be disappointed, he excuses himself for a 'fresher break, and slips away to his room. He reaches out, prodding at the presence of the voice he can always feel in his mind, but it feels frustratingly evasive at the moment. That tends to happen sometimes, maybe when he's trying too hard, he's not sure, but he knows how to deal with it.

Luke settles onto the floor of the room, closing his eyes and reaching into the Force, reaching for the presence. They can always connect and talk more easily like this anyway, when he's meditating.

He's really not expecting it, though, when a figure slowly begins to appear in front of him, in the midst of the peaceful grayness of the Force around him. It's humanoid, though not a species that he's ever seen before. For some reason, he seems familiar, but Luke can't place where he would have ever felt or seen this person before. That he can remember, he never has.

"Are you… him?" he asks, uncertainly.

"I am," The voice sounds the same coming from him as it does in his head, but somehow like this, it feels even more familiar, even if he again can't place where he could ever have heard it before.

"Why are you appearing to me now?" It's more than a little odd.

"I told you before I wanted to help you," he explains, "I found something that… perhaps might." It doesn't really answer the question, but maybe he preferred to appear in this form for an actually very serious conversation?

"What you were saying earlier…" Luke trails off, uncertainly, "Is that what this is about?"

"Have you ever heard of the legend of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

Luke blinks. "What? Who's that? Isn't that a Sith name?"

"It is," the other agrees.

His eyes narrow. Why is this person talking to him about Sith? "I don't know or need to know anything about Sith."

"It is merely a legend I thought you may be interested in hearing," he replies.

Is this what has some connection to what he was saying earlier? He's been warned about the Sith over and over again, but after a few moments, curiosity starts to get the better of him. "What is it?" he asks.

"He was extremely powerful and wise," the figure replies, "He learned how to use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life. He became so powerful he even learned how to stop people from dying and even bring them back afterwards. The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."

He hesitates, considering the words. "How would that help me? I'm not a Sith," he says, finally. He doesn't know that he can just believe it, either. That breaks the laws of everything he's ever known.

But what if there really was a chance that he could bring his father back?

It would be with the Dark Side, though, and…

"Do you know how people can do this?" he asks, finally.

"There are legends that another once attempted it, at a Dark nexus of power in the Force," he responds, "They failed, but at the time, their power was far-diminished."

Luke shouldn't be considering this. Why is he considering this? Listening to a Sith legend? What's the matter with him?

But what if it could help his father? What if he could bring him back?

"Why do you know so much about Sith legends?" Luke demands.

"The only way to truly understand the Force is by studying all of its aspects and sides," the figure replies, "I have little else to do, so I devote my time to studying the mysteries of the Force and helping those who need it."

Luke frowns. It's against what Ben and Yoda taught him, but he already knows there's things they don't fully understand, or they wouldn't have told him to kill Vader.

He doesn't know what to do, but now that the thought slipped into his mind, he can't quite seem to shake it out.

**w**

"You've failed, your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."

"If you will not turn, you will be destroyed."

"Now, Skywalker, you will die."

"Father, help me."

Luke jolts awake with a gasp, heart pounding wildly, struggling to shake off the feel of the electricity burning through him, the images of his father collapsing next to the shaft after he threw the Emperor down it. It's hardly the first time he's had a nightmare about it – it haunts his mind constantly – but something about this one felt worse.

He can practically still feel the weight of his father's armor as he helped drag him to the shuttle, his desperation to save his life before it was too late, and everything that happened after that.

No, he can't let it go like that. He has to make it right. Somehow.

There's only one way he can.

Maybe this is stupid, but all he can do is remember every moment of that day over and over again right now. "You said someone actually tried bringing another back to life?" he asks, looking around the empty room.

"Yes," the voice in his head confirms immediately.

"Do you know where that was? How they did it?" If there's somewhere he has to go, to this Dark Side nexus, he's willing to do it.

"It was on Mustafar," the voice replies.

Luke frowns. "My father's planet?" He's heard enough to know that that's where Vader had a castle.

"It was strong in the Force," the voice responds, "I can help guide you on what to do if this is really what you want. If it is, you should leave immediately."

Is it? Is it?

That's not even a question. Of course he wants his father back with him, a chance to actually know him. This is not how things are supposed to be, it can't be, and he doesn't know if – No, he won't think about it in any more detail right now, because he doesn't want to change his mind.

Sure, it's the middle of the night, but Luke doesn't want to wait until morning. He hastily moves about his room, collecting a few things he might need before slipping out into the main part of the Falcon. He leaves a note to the others that he has to go somewhere urgently for Jedi reasons – it's true even if they won't realize what he actually means – before he heads out, taking only Artoo with him as he leaves for his fighter.

A strange sense of giddy excitement floods through him, and he realizes it's the first time he's truly felt a happy sensation since everything happened. He probably shouldn't get his hopes up so much, though. There's no guarantee this will work. He's literally planning to try bringing someone back to life. And he doesn't know if anyone has ever succeeded at that before.

(What is he doing?!)

He climbs into his fighter, firing it up, refusing to let any doubts enter his mind. If this doesn't work, then it doesn't work, but he… can't just not try.

He takes off from the base without waiting and makes the jump to hyperspace, staring out at the blur around him.

"I found a way to save you, Father," Luke murmurs, to the soon to no longer be empty space, "I found a way to bring you back." Saying it out loud only makes it feel more real, and suddenly, he's nervous and afraid. What if this doesn't work? He doesn't know what he'd do then, because now that he's actually trying, he doesn't think he could take no for an answer.

"I don't know how, but I have to try. Someone is helping me. They told me a legend about a Darth Plagueis. I'll make it work. We can finally be together."

And for a fleeting moment, he's almost certain he senses his father.

But no, that had to be his imagination. But it won't be for much longer.

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