Chapter 8: ...Bits and Pieces...

The taxi neared her home, and Serena was preparing her money. During the whole ride her mind was blank. She just couldn't think, she was momentarily paralysed mentally. She sat on the back seat of the car very upright, as the car drove by traffic lights flashed by in the black of night. She lost track of time, so when the taxi pulled up by the lobby of her building she did not know whether the ride was long or short, or did she care. She mechanically handed the driver his payment was closed the door behind her. Not waiting for the change she instantly headed toward the doors, dialled her secret code, and pushed the doors walking in. Robotically, she went up the elevator, and then into her apartment. There she closed the door behind her and walked to her room, where she undressed, and put on her pyjamas. The intercom rang; Serena carelessly walked to get it. She did not speak, she couldn't...

"Serena, are you there?" she heard Darien's voice calling, "Listen to me: What you saw was a mistake. I swear to God that it was not on purpose. Please let me in and I'll explain everything to you...Serena? Talk to me for heaven's sake!"

She was fed up of hearing his voice; she realised when her senses returned to her. She was angry, sad, and confused. How could she just listen to him tell another of his lies? Lowering her head, she hung up the phone. Thereafter she plopped of one of the huge puffy pillows for comfort. Sinking down into the feathers she reached for the TV remote control and turned the TV on. She watched it without paying attention to it. And slowly she wasn't aware of herself again.

She woke up to the irritating noise of the telephone. The sun was suddenly shining; she hadn't realised that she had been sleeping this whole time. Then like a lightning bolt, the remembrance of the past night nagged her head. She let the phone ring and ring, as she didn't want to have contact with anyone whatsoever. Once the fixed phone had stopped ringing, it wasn't long before the mobile began to make a muffled noise from her backpack. There again, she did not answer. The TV was still on; Serena closed it, and leaned back down her pillow. The pillow was the only comfort that she wanted in the life at the moment. For the rest of the day and most part of the next day she lay with her mind blank. Her phones ran in and out, she didn't answer. The answering machine tape was full, and would not take more messages. But she just lay there.

Finally, she forced herself to revive. First sign of life in her was when she started to think about and analyse what exactly had happened to her. She couldn't understand how Darien could have been so scruple-less? It didn't make sense to her why Darien would flirt with another woman, when he knew that she would be out very, very soon. But then again maybe he did it in purpose. 'All his words...they sounded so sincere, so true and earnest. Why didn't I see through them? Why didn't I realise that I was just a challenge for him...Just an accessory to go along with his image...And then when he found something more beautiful he would drop me and wear the new one out. Yet, I can't figure out why he had waited all this time to break it all up in a matter of hours. Or maybe he didn't wait all this time to be with me...maybe he just let everyone believe that he had changed, and in fact he secretly still went out with his girls. Maybe that was true, how could I trust him? When Mr. Diamond warned me, I should have listened; he probably knew what Darien was doing behind everyone else's back. How could I have been such a fool?'

'Honey,' spoke out her heart, 'It's better to have loved and lost it, than to never have loved at all...'

'She didn't lose it, you idiot, she wisely let it go! But anyway, it's okay to be heartbroken sometimes...it helps the balance in your life. There is also the privilege that you may be able to learn from your mistakes. This is partly my fault; for all these years I never let you feel sadness...it had to come sooner of later!' he mind logically stated.

'That's not the way to comfort a heartbroken girl...'

'Well, you shouldn't be talking...you started the whole thing in the first place! I'll never ever let you be in charge again!'

'But I didn't know-'

'I knew, for heaven's sake, but you were stubborn. You inexperienced fool!'

'People are allowed to make mistakes, and you stated previously so I just contributed into some balance in your life'

'Idiot,' her mind slipped, 'both you and I are idiots.'

She came to a conclusion that Darien had fouled her, and that there was no point in still going for him. She would make herself forget him. And she would succeed...as usual. With that she stood up, persuaded her quivering feelings, and decided to take a shower. She made herself a breakfast which she hardly ate, but still she made no attempt in communicating with the outside world.

Presently she was thinking of what she would do when she was ready to step outside...She would go to work as usual. But it hit her that she could not return to the CIB after Darien had done to her. Well, one of her confusions were solved! Now she needn't to decide if she should continue to work as a lawyer or if she should become a full time author. So now all she had to do was to write a resignation letter to Mr. Chiba, and to wait and hope that her book made big time money. In the meantime she had to continue with its sequel, but decided not to think about it yet.

It took five days before she strolled out of her apartment, into the world. As she was out she could see such beauty of the rose garden, and the sky was blue, people were happy. She did not, however, she the meaning of the existence of such beauty. Firstly, she went to the CIB buildings; she handed the resignation letter to the secretary in the bottom floor for she dared not to find out who was upstairs. Then she walked to the Silver Millennium.

Lita practically jumped on her, and to see that that Serena was all right. "Oh Serena, I was so worried that something happened to you! We called you and called you but you never answered. Then we called Darien's office and they said that he hadn't been at work either. I thought you both ran away or something, and today we were planning to actually report you for missing people-"

"What happened, Serena?" Nick impatiently interrupted noticing that something was wrong. Serena did not look like her old self; everything in her was faded. There wasn't a glow in her sky blue eyes anymore, in fact they weren't blue anymore, they were blending into a greyish colour. Her lush blond hair was no more; instead she wore a ponytail of dirty blond hair. Her features were no longer bright, happy, and always teasingly laughing. She looked melancholic, dreary, and nonchalant. Otherwise, she looked perfectly normal as her ponytail what perfectly done, almost too perfectly done. Her clothes were carefully chosen, she was ideally presentable.

"Nothing that I know of," she said indifferently.

"That's not true," Lita replied. "Please tell us, it's not like we will kill you, or anything. We want to help you."

"Oh it was him, wasn't it?" Nick understood. "You don't have to tell us, we can guess. I warned him about this...the bastard!"

"Oh no, Nick," Serena replied a bit alarmed, "it wasn't really him." Then she lied on, "Actually it was my fault, don't do anything to him, I broke away. I just regret it that's all! It will be over soon."

Neither of them believed her, but they played along with her excuse. Nick's hopes of giving Darien a punch or two faded like Serena's self. She had not allowed him to execute his promise and he would not disobey her. But he still found it amazing that so much beauty of his friend and disappeared in a matter of days...just because of him, whatever he had done.

Days passed into weeks and weeks turned into almost a month. Hutaru was back and still as much in love with Peter, and he was in love with her. Serena was truly happy for her niece, but all she could manage to show was a dim smile. Soon Mina and Mario had returned from their honeymoon. The whole group of friends had an assembly at their new house for the juicy details of the trip. Everyone was happy, laughing...all except Serena who only gave a cloudy smile through the whole evening.

Another month went by; lively it would have seemed, as another couple was getting married. She would have shown so much emotion when she heard that such an unbelievable match as Raye and Joachim were getting married. But no, despite herself she only gave them a word the happiness that she was feeling for them, along with an indistinct smile. All the marriage arrangements were done in a matter of two weeks; they would not have a huge party as they thought it unimportant. And because Raye fell asleep halfway through the priest's speech at Mina's wedding, they decided that they should take the quicker way of things. They should marry in a civil way, not by church. They decided that Mina and Mario should be their best man and bridesmaid. The wedding was simple but beautiful, yet Serena could not truly appreciate its charm, despite of how much she tried.

It was one beautiful September afternoon when Serena soundlessly unlocked the door to her apartment to find Hutaru and Peter engaged in an interesting talk.

"Do you know what happened between Serena and your uncle?"

"I don't know!" Peter exclaimed, but noticed Hutaru's face showing disbelief. "Really," he insisted and continued on explaining, "He was all miserable for a week or so. And never spoke to anyone unless it was necessary to get an answer from him. Then Serena gives us a resignation letter, and a day after that he is gone. We haven't heard anything directly from him yet. But Mr. Diamond has seen him a week ago, so he's alright I guess."

"Oh this is so sad!" Hutaru cried hugging her boyfriend, "Have you seen how Serena has changed?"

"Yes, so looks so old!" Peter noticed, "At least ten years older."

She heard this but, somehow she didn't care. She didn't care almost about anything anymore. Of course she still cared about her friends and people close to her, but not about herself anymore. And presently she didn't even eat unless she was forced to.

September turned to a cooler, more autumn-like as the month of October. Something exciting happened, but she took it very nonchalantly. Her friends truly understood, so they still got along with her. At this moment they were in the process of getting used to her present self, they had accepted the fact that she had, indeed, changed. Mina finally received a letter from Diamond Record Company. She had got a record deal, and they would have a meeting discussing the contract.

Happily she skipped to Serena, looking for a lawyer. Serena accepted Mina's offer and therefore had to attend the meeting with Mina. After all was confirmed Mr. Diamond and Serena had time for a little chat.

"Miss Tsukino," he said, "You look as if you've been worn! You look very different from the last time I saw you! It's not normal for people to change so much in a matter of what, four months."

"Well, as you see, it can happen," she replied indifferently, "And as you see, I am in a perfectly good state."

"I have to admit that you're not the only one that goes around looking so miserable," he informed as a matter of factly. "I've seen Darien, only four days ago, and he seemed very disconnected from the world. Yes, he was shaven, and looked presentable, but his mind was not with him. It took him five minutes recognise me, can you believe it!"

"I don't see the connection of your tale to me," she commented. This was probably because she did not get the meaning of his words, because the words seemed to flow in from one ear and out from the other as her mind was dwelling in the River Styx.

"Oh you don't have to pretend, Serena," Diamond declared, "He told me that something happened between you two. He said that he did something wrong. But that it was all misunderstanding; 'one of those things that the more you try to explain the more tangled it gets', he said. He said that no matter how much he tried he could get a hold of you. You still don't answer his calls and no matter where he goes he can't find you. Since you're both suffering because of this, maybe you should try to listen to him once."

"He has nothing more to say, Diamond, and I was not mistaken of what I saw. I gave him one chance to make a fool of me, but I won't give him another," Serena told. Without another word she walked out of the room. Mina's contract was signed; she had a record deal for four records. Now her job was done and she had nothing to stay there for.

By this time it would be questionable how Serena got by without a job, but there was a simple answer: her book. In such a few months time it has sold over ten thousand copies and now the editorial was planning to sell in Europe. At the moment money wasn't a problem; she had enough money to live greatly for approximately two years. Still she had to continue with her book, for she had planned two more sequels for it as she experienced new parts of life. So now she had something fresh to write about and she must start. It was then when she decided to sit at the desk again and start typing her experiences of the last few months.

She started with the end of the last book, the very last sentence of the last chapter she wrote: "And there they sat, she, the author of the book, sitting on his, the editor's laps. Total harmony eluded them and Sarita was actually reaching for Andrew for a kiss."

After having typed this she thought for a moment. She had to break this before Sarita kissed Andrew, and the most perfect way would be to have the hero of this book walk in on them. That was decided, and she went on: "Andrew approached his lips towards Sarita too, and the magic was about to begin. But in one split second the magic dissolved, for a man with pitch black hair, and the most drowning blue eyes imperiously entered the room. Sarita was shocked, and Andrew even more so for in a fraction of a second he managed to push poor Sarita off him so that she helplessly landed on the floor."

The Serena paused again. In this sequel she wanted Andrew to become the jerk, in contrast to the hero he was in the last book. Sarita had to be torn between Andrew and-what would he be called? - Daniel. Half way through the book Sarita had to find out about all Andrew-what ever he would do-and three quarters through she had to be in love with Daniel. So that by the end of it Daniel would turn out to also be a jerk and she would end up alone. Having planned so far, she opened a new document of her computer and started to make an outline. She already knew the books title: "American... or What? A Love Story".

For a couple of weeks she sat from nine to five writing her book. She found it unusually quick to write this book, especially after Andrew was discovered. Now the was a the part where Daniel, a man that Sarita has had little contact with and since their first meeting had disliked, was acting in love with her. And as she wrote on she described how slowly Sarita's feelings changed towards Daniel, and slowly she became deeper...

As she wrote, she felt tears coming to her eyes. She never cried, but now she would allow her eyes to fail her. Trying hard to fight them, she finally felt a tear flow down her right cheek. She stopped typing and simply stared at space with her chin resting on her right hand. As time passed, even if they were just seconds, she felt a flood of tears evade her. She did not fight them, instead she welcomed them. And as if she had been anticipating their arrival she let her head to her newly crossed arm, letting the salty water pour out of her. She was crying in. Wasn't it funny? It took a man, one single man. The man that had caused her to feel blissful beyond limits, was, oh, so capable of making her feel dispirited thence infinity. Yet, she could not get over him; she still loved him just she did when she was in heaven... if not more.

She sat there for hours crying, until there were no more tears to cry. Her head ached and her nose was stuffed. She felt hot, and decided to refresh herself outside in the balcony with the early November air. She stood there for a long time leaning against the iron reel before the noticed light flock of snow falling upon her, the ground, and the lovely garden beyond her balcony. Then she still stood there for hours admiring the snow falling nonchalantly. It was almost dark when she discovered that she was freezing so much that her fingers where turning a light shade of blue. She went inside to her room and took a long nap.

Since dawn had he been staring out the huge window of this apartment. He had been thinking of her, thinking of possible ways to get her back. He had cried, it's true he was a man, but he had cried himself to sleep so many times. And since she had run off like that in the pub he didn't seem to care anymore. He was more than "in love" with her and slowly this feeling of pointlessness was eating him from inside. All that kept him alive so long was the doubt: whether she still loved him or not. All this time he had been planning a way to get to see her again, but nothing seemed to work. So this very morning he was staring out, looking at the snow which had fallen on the previous day.

As an early man to work walked out of the building it hit him. Something so obvious, so simple! He could not understand how he hadn't thought of that before. Quickly her grabbed his keys and jacket, and raced down to his car. Once inside the vehicle he hastily started and dashed through the city to get his one and only Serena... Reaching her building he went and sat by the front doors and waited. He waited and waited for almost two hours before someone came in or went out of the building. Finally, an old lady appeared with the opening of the elevator doors inside. She proceeded in walking towards the doors through which Darien wanted to go in. She finally opened it and walked out; Darien however held it open for a while until she had totally walked out and went in himself.

Once inside he took the elevator up to Serena's floor. Upon reaching her door in pressed the doorbell. Nobody came to answer. She couldn't possibly know that it was he. He sighed and rang again, and again, and again. Until he heard a muffled cry of agony. There was something wrong inside the apartment; impulsively he turned the old fashioned door's knob. Amazingly, the door was unlocked. As he went in the house was in total silence, the suddenly he hear Serena give another painful cry. He rushed to her room, and found her laying of the bed looking a thousand times more miserable than him, curled into a little ball. The smell of vomit flew up his nostrils, and his eyes suddenly landed on a poodle of vomit of the floor just beside her bed. Her face was whiter than the sheet she lay in, and her pale hair was tangled all around her body. He could feel that she was terribly sick.

"Serena," she said alarmingly walking to her, "What happened?"

After hearing this, she noticed that Darien was there with her, she felt happy, but in a split second the memory of That Night entered her mind. "Is your brain so incapable of reasoning with common sense that it doesn't understand the fact that I never answer your calls means that I don't want to have anything to do with you again?" she spat weakly.

"Look, I would have committed suicide if I haven't resolved to see you today," he explained. "Not only that, but you are in no conditions to let your pride rule over you. Don't you understand how sick you are?"

"I am not sick-" she said as she suddenly leaned over her bad and vomited. Darien said nothing, but he sat on the edge of her bed close to her feet. "I just want you to get out of my house, don't bother me again life was perfect before you came in," she lied.

"Okay," Darien sighed, "Let me see you and help you just this once, when I hear that you're well in the hospital then I will leave your alone for as long as you live. Just this once, Serena..."

Serena gave a tormenting cry again. Darien pulled her to him and embraced her lovingly. She willingly leaned on him, crying. As Darien passed his hand across her forehead meaning to caress her, he felt that her body temperature was unusually high. She had a high fever.

"Where does it hurt you, my dear?" he asked gently.

"My stomach," she whispered like a child.

Darien wasted no time in deciding that whatever illness Serena had was very severe. He carefully laid her back on the bed and hurried to her phone. He pressed the ambulance number, and soon a lady like voice answered him. She hurriedly asked for the symptoms and address. Darien answered just as hurried. Ten minutes hadn't passed when Darien found himself inside an ambulance with Serena lying on a bed-like-thing beside him. The ambulance was on its way to the hospital at the speed of light. The sirens were crying outside the vehicle, and inside Darien was crying for his unconscious Serena.

They reached the hospital in no time, but to Darien, it seemed like forever. As soon as the car had parked, people came from everywhere to take his Serena. Soon she was rolling along the hospital hallways, and Darien was running along right beside her. They led her towards an emergency room, and at a certain point, the doctors told him that he wasn't allowed to come into the room. He had no clue of what was going on, they were taking Serena away from him! A nurse had to get a grip of him to stop him from running further on.

The nurse led him into a reception, where she explained that Serena has a severe case of appendicitis and was to be immediately operated. She then took the "patient's" name. Darien then arranged that when the operation was done, she would have her own private room. After that he had no more business to handle and all he could do was to wait for news. Doctors came in and out of the operation room, Darien worriedly asked them all kind of questions on Serena state, but none of them answered him. He passed the hallway up and down, until he finally sunk in a chair with his elbows on his legs, and his forehead pressed upon his hands.

Serena finally opened her eyes, she felt like she had been sleeping for days. She looked around to find herself lying in a hospital room. There were tubes on her nose, and her right hand. Finally, a nurse came into her room with a friendly smile.

"Good evening, Miss Tsukino," she said friendly.

"Is it evening already?" Serena asked surprised.

"Yes," the nurse answered, "There is a man outside who, I think, would be glad to see you."

"I don't want to see him," Serena answered coolly.

"But why?" the brown haired nurse questioned in surprise. "He has been here worrying all day long!"

"He cheated on me..." Serena answered.

"Oh, you shouldn't be so stiff!" the nurse cried, "It could have been just a misunderstanding.

"I remember that I screwed up the life a couple a few months ago. It wasn't on purpose but it was at a pub. I had a meeting with my boyfriend who had just come back from a volunteer mission in Gambia. I saw his pitch-black hair standing out by the exit and shamelessly jumped on him and kissed him like mad! Well, only to realize to my embarrassment that it wasn't my boyfriend standing there, but another man. But it was too late because his girlfriend had seen it all and ran away to a get a cab. Oh I felt so guilty!" the nurse ended her tale feeling miserable.

Serena's face, however, lit up! All these months she had been faded and sad, but in a matter of seconds, she was young and bright again! She quickly sat up, and begged the nurse, "Oh, I was so, so wrong! I please get him here! How simple everything was...why didn't I just stop to listen to him?"

"You mean you are...I...him...you-" the nurse choked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Serena said enthusiastically with a big smile of her face.

"Oh, ok, I'll go and get him-have to hurry," she stammered as she ran out of the room to get Darien.

Serena impatiently sat of her bed waiting for Darien to arrive. It wasn't long before he came in. Then Serena stammered that she was sorry, and she didn't know, and attempted to explain what she had just heard.

"I know, I know, Serena!" Darien exclaimed happily. "The nurse told me. Serena you should lay down! Please lie down, I'm not going to run away, you know!"

She lay down, as Darien kneeled beside her bed. He held her left hand pressed between his, he held it against his forehead as if he was praying.

"Oh God, I thought I had lost you!"

"I thought I'd lost you!"

"There is no one but you in my life, Serena, trust me."

"I'm all yours. I love you, Darien, more than anything on Earth."

Darien noticed one single piece on jewellery around her neck. It was the emerald necklace that he had given her. He touched it, and then kissed the stone. Serena gave him a quizzical smile.

"It was my grandmother's," he explained, "She gave it to me before she died. She told me that it was for the woman that I truly loved, and that I should make sure it doesn't happen like it happened with my dad."

"What happened to your dad?"

"It's a long story..."

"Tell me, I've got all the time in the world."

"Well, he married my mother. She was a supermodel. My grandparents never approved my mother, my parents married anyway. But they weren't happy for long, and I can still remember how they used to fight when I was little. When I was six my mother left us. She ran away with a rock-star, and I never saw her again...she was very beautiful, my mother. Sometimes you remind me of her, Serena, the careless ways she had, and the flashing blue eyes, she was very beautiful.

"Anyway, as I said, she ran away and left my dad alone to take care of both Michelle and I. But he didn't know how to do it, he was a business man, and didn't have a clue on how to be a father so suddenly. So, we used to practically live with my grandparents. Soon Dad also noticed that he could embrace the Dolce Vita, so he too ran away. That happened when I was about eight.

"Since then I always got annoyed at all the movies where couples seemed so perfect for each other, because my parents weren't like in the movies," Darien told, more remembering than explaining. Serena just listened on; she guessed that Darien wasn't really aware of her anymore. "As long as I can remember my parents always fought, and sometimes my mom you throw her high heels at dad and he would bang the doors and lock himself in the office for hours. But life was much calmer when we moved with my grandparents.

"By the time I was in eighth grade, I discovered that all the girls liked me and that I could pick and chose from any of them, but my first crush was on a girl named Ann. We were an item, but we never did get along very well. I personally though it was normal, I mean my parents never really got along too. I was so angry when I saw her at a school dance kissing my best friend. I was so angry that we engaged in a fight and I never again talked to either of them. I figured that girls weren't worth trusting, very soon, they would just run way with someone else like my mom and Ann.

"When I was sixteen, my mother died of an overdose of cocaine. The rock-star she ran away with didn't even appear at the funeral. My father came, but I was so angry when he appeared with an exotic chick dressed in a dress with all kinds of colours. Poor butterfly, I wonder if anyone ever respected her.

"My father also died, in St. Tropez, in a car accident. The woman that was with him in the car lived, in fact she was almost uninjured. I remember how much she cried over his grave and kept saying 'I love you' over and over in Spanish."

Darien fell into a silence for a while. Serena carefully sat up again and embraced her Darien. She kissed his eyes and lips, and said, "I'm sorry, Darien, I'm so sorry! I'll never leave you...never ever."

"I love you," he whispered in her ear, "Now you have to rest, Serena. You've just had an operation."

"I had an operation?" Serena repeated surprised. "Of what?"

"Appendicitis. Didn't the nurse tell you?"

"No, I guess she was too excited to get you here to tell!"

"Well, now you know," Darien smiled and lowered her into her bed and watched her sleep.

He stayed there until she woke up again. He had been thinking about them the whole time and he had made up his mind. As soon as she woke up he went on to speak.

"Marry me, Serena."

"What?" was her response, she was obviously shocked. "Oh no, Darien! I can't."

"Why?" he asked getting alarmed.

"Because-" she stopped abruptly thing of a reason. She found none, "I don't know... I never thought of it, I guess."

"I swear to God I will love you forever, I will never cheat on you, I'll never lie to you, and I will always trust you."

"All right, all right," Serena grinned, "I'll marry you."

Darien couldn't hold his happiness anymore; he fiercely embraced his fiancée, and kissed her passionately. Then, he ran to the coin phones of the hospital to announce Mario of his engagement.