Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for this box of cheez-its. Mmmmm. Processed cheese.

Warnings: Well… Slash. Language. RAPE! Nah, just (goes and yells at nephews) what was I saying? Oh, just an old man and a teen. Well Sevvie isn't old…. So…. (yells at nephews again.) it's just a hot man with a teen. Heh.

A/N: Heh, want to hear a funny story? I was searching for a good snarry to read, and I read a summary, and was like, hm, this sounds good, and I didn't realize I was reading my own story. Heh. I found that amusing. Sorry it's so short.

Chapter Three: Teenage Boys
"Good morning, baby, last night was amazing."

Well Shit. "Potter! What on earth are you doing in my bed!" Harry opened his mouth to say something and Severus quickly raised his hand. "No, I know what you are doing in my bed, but why?" Harry smiled.

"Because I love you silly! I mean, I wouldn't have taken you down so fast if I hadn't!" He kissed the older man's whiter than usual forehead. "Now what would you like for breakfast? I'm cooking."

"Well some bacon would be nice…Hey! I don't think so. This can't continue. Dumbledore would find out for one, and he would never allow it. Now go back to your rooms. And I meant it about that bacon. And eggs." He pushed Harry to the entrance to the secret passage. "I expect breakfast to be ready in an hour." He closed the door to the tunnel and went to his room to shower.

Harry also went to shower. O, you aren't going to get rid of me that easily, Severus. I am only a Gryffindor for my stubbornness. Harry quickly got dressed and called a house elf to lead him to the kitchens. After asking where all the ingrediants and pans were, he quickly got started. I'll give you eggs and bacon. And pancakes, and sausage, and blintzes. Harry quickly got out his wand, Severus having made the mistake of telling him last night that he could do magic. Suddenly onions and peppers were being chopped, eggs being beaten, bacon sizzling on a grill. Harry made the pancakes without magic. His own special recipe. By the time Severus had stepped out of his room, the smell of it all was making his mouth water. He quickly walked into the room just as Harry finished laying everything out on the table.

"That was fast." He sat down and started putting food on his plate.

"Ya. Last night you slipped the fact that I could use magic here. Mrs. Weasley taught me a lot of spells to cook. There's onion and pepper omelettes, bacon, sausage, and blintzes. The pancakes are hand made. There is freshly squeezed orange juice or coffee to drink. Well eat already." Severus immediately started eating, afraid of what Harry would do if he didn't. "Now what would you prefer to drink?" The man mumbled "Crofke," and Harry poured him a cup. Only after Severus was completely content did Harry sit down and begin to eat.

"At least the Weasley's gave you some good knowledge." Harry glared at him. "Oh shut up and finish eating. You have a potions lesson. I expect to see you in fifteen minutes." That said, he walked away.

"Make it less," he mumbled. He muttered a spell to make the food on his plate turn into a pill, swallowed it with orange juice, and asked the house elves to clean up before dashing down to the potions room. He arrived only a minute after Severus. "So what potion am I making today?" He sat down at the table, waiting patiently.

"Today you will make the dreamless sleep potion. I need to refill Hogwart's stock, considering you went through it as fast as I could make it last year." Harry blushed. (A/N: I've decided this is in 6th year. AU obviously. I think I may incorporate Jade and make Sirius straight. I may not be able to resist. But Harry is studying with Sevvie now to get into Advanced Potions.) Harry had been forced to drink the potion every night last year when his Occlumency failed.

"Well if I remember correctly, YOU were the one to stop teaching me!"

"Yes, because YOU looked into my pensieve!"

"Well YOU left it out to find!" The two glared at eachother, anger evident.

"Finish your potion. Don't bother coming to dinner. The house elves will bring it to you in your room." Severus swiftly walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Mature man my ass. Has to win everything. Well I'll show him…" Harry's eyes brightened, and he started flipping through the potions book in front of him while his potion sat to simmer. "Oh this will be good…"

Severus was in his secret library, reading upon the tempers of teenage boys.

The teenage male can be very stubborn. After a fight, they very often pretend to give in, only to get revenge when the "winner" of the fight least expects it.

He won't fool me that easily. I am much smarter then him.

Harry added the last ingrediant to his Dreamless Sleep potion, and turned his attention to other cauldron beside it. "One bat wing, scales of a pink lizard, and two claws of a werecat. Check, check, and check. Last ingrediant is… hair of the victim…? Ok…" Harry walked into Severus' room quietly, and looked on his pillow. Grabbing a few strands that lay there, he returned to the potion and dropped them in, waiting five minutes in between each. "Done." Both potions were complete. He filled vials with dreamless sleep potion first, and put them in the box as Severus had directed. He then filled the remaining vials with his second potion, bright blue in color. He cleaned the second cauldron thoroughly, not wanting to leave a trace of what had been there. He wrote a note to his tutor bluntly stating that there was no need to give him dinner, he would make it himself when Severus was done with his. Harry ripped a page out of the book before putting it back in the cabinet and grabbing his vials. He opened the secret passage and went to his room, where he started to feel a pang of guilt. He quickly reassured himself. Harry, it's not only for revenge, it's good in the long run for the both of you. Really. It is. Happiness. He smiled and called a house elf. "I'd like you to bring me a bowl, chocolate syrup, fruit, and my dinner. For dinner I'd like steak, mashed potatoes and corn. Do not tell Severus that I have already eaten." The house elf nodded. This is going to be interesting.

Sorry it took so long. They holiday weekend was rather… busy. On a lighter note, I got a U2 ipod for christmas. Yay! I can now listen to "Wicked" whereever I am. Heh.

Reviews!

RavenLeeSnape- Glad you enjoyed it!

Susan Potter- 

Chopsticks-the-mighty- Heh. Enjoy.

K.Krum- I love you. And miss you. DAMN THE DOGS!

HalfSithalready- Oh shut it Chris. Ty. OHHHH WHAT NOW!

Wulfie-squeeker- Sounds like an interesting story lol…

Firegoddess- here ya go!

Heather- Heh.

Neori- Here ya go!

CONTEST! This is going to be hard I hope.

What movie is the phrase "Carpe Diem" and "Captain, my Captain" from? Who ever gets it right gets a Sevvie doll! And if you tell me the lead actor I will give you the link to my favourite picture.

And now some words from Sevvie.

Sevvie: To all those who are reading this story but aren't reviewing, please do. Jade is very egotistical, and needs them.

Me: Hey!

Sevvie: Okay, she really isn't, but she likes reviews. So please, even if it's just a smiley face, leave a review. It's greatly appreciated. Thanks

STRIP SEVVIE STRIP!

Sevvie: oO?

Me: Sorry. Couldn't retain it. ;)

JadeLilyMalfoy