Lonelily, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Please R&R

Just a little one shot based on the song by Damien Rice of the same name. You've got to love that guy. I suggest listening to the song to set the mood. It probably doesn't make sense, but I appreciate your feedback all the same. It's more emotion less action, at least that's what I was going for. It's experimental and it's such a great song I couldn't resist. I hope you enjoy.

Lonelily

I gave me away

I could have knocked off the evening

But a lonelily landed my waltz in her hands

I gently slide my hand over the smooth cool platinum in my pocket. The perfect contrast to the blistering heat of the June afternoon. The steam billows around the train. The exhaust from the engine mingles with the summer sun rising up from the sidewalks drenching me in a horrid smotheringsweat. I need to get out. I can't feel. I can't - I'm suffocating. My fingers reach the diamond, the rock. That's all it is a rock, rough, hard, a piece of the earth, a piece of this fucked up world. She's on the train.

In a way I felt you were leaving

And I was sure I wouldn't find you at home

And you let me down

I've been carrying around this little rock for a while. Since before anyone left, anyone died, anyone was sick. Back when I wasn't so inadequate. She was distracted towards the end and I should have known then that maybe I wasn't going to be enough. That was the worst part. That I was so blindly deficient. She never came right out and said it but I know…She wanted more.

I could have knocked off the evening

But your lonelily let him push under your bone

You let me down

There's no use deceiving and neither of us want to be alone

I couldn't do that I could give her everything she ever needed, but maybe not what she wanted. So she left and I stood stranded on the night of our graduation, the night I had planned to propose. The night that was now ruined because she was offered a chance to have everything she could ever want,and there she hadhim. Paris is after all the city of love. Who would ever want to be alone there?

And you're coming home

And then I heard the news. Three years later and she's back. And I'm exactly as I am when she left in a flurry of red hair and rushing summer winds. Windy days always make me sad, but it's not until now that I realize why.

I gave me away

I could have knocked off the evening

But I was lonelily looking for someone to hold

In a way I lost all I believed in

And I never found myself so alone

Those days after she left turned into weeks and then months and then years and I've never had the chance to ask her. I knew she blamed me for her best friend's death. If I hadn't keptAnnabelle out planning the proposal she would never hear, running around with me for hours on end searching for the perfect ring she would never wear, then maybe just maybe the cancer wouldn't have seeped in so quickly.

And you let me down

You could have called if you needed

But your lonelily got yourself locked and instead

You let me down

Its one thing to be cheated

But you took him all the way through your bed

I knew she blamed me. I didn't know she hated me. I didn't know it was the end, two days before graduation when Annabelle's death cast a somber shadow over our world. Sirius lovedAnnabelle too. Even if it was too much to say it out loud. But Annabelle had her own secrets. We never knew she was dying. That with each passing second her life dwindled rapidly. We're all dying she said. It starts at our birth. She said she just happened to be winning the race.

I was going to be there for her. But she found comfort in another's arms instead. A man who knew nothing of her pain, or her joy or her past and with whom she would never have a future. A man who healed her wounds on the surface, caressing away the physical aches that stemmed from her emotional pains. A man who,if only for a moment,drove her to euphoria in dark rooms between cool sheets that tasted of the salt of tears and sweat, that were heavy with sex and afterwards with the pain of another night alone, despite the breathing of the man beside her.

And now you're coming home

And I'm trying to forgive

And you're coming home

And I'm trying to forget

And you're coming home

And I'm trying to move on

And you haven't called yet

And you're coming home

I'm trying to forgive

And you're coming home

And I'm trying to move on

And you're coming home

But you haven't called

I think she's the one who owes the apology now. I chased her to Paris at first and that's when I found out about her new medicine. A pretty boy with blond hair and dark eyes, everything that I wasn't. An act of contrition to prove that she does love me and that maybe she didn't come back for the London fog but for the London boy she left behind.

We haven't spoken since that day, but now as the exhaust of the train blows away with the wind, she's with me again. Though this time it isn't just a haunting feeling. She's really here standing in front me and the leather suitcases she's holding fall to the floor. Summer frocks and leather sandals spill out onto the hoary stone and she moves towards me one step at a time. It's then I notice that she doesn't step she floats. How could I ever be with her when she's floating around on a cloud of perfection, the queen of the world, a fairy princess, who happened to break my heart.

I gave me away

I could have knocked off the evening

But my lonelily loomed into my bones

She stares at me as if trying to see me and everything that's happened to me in our time apart in these few silent seconds. She takes my calloused hands between her own and the delicate paper-white hands discover the little treasure, the little curse I'm still holding. Her eyes widen at the ring and she looks up again at me emerald orbs filled with hope and another emotion I know that I'm reflecting, love. Maybe I'll never get the chance to ask her the question that's been on the tip of my tongue since I met her. Maybe I don't need too.

We can pretend all we want. We can make our mistakes. But maybe that's what true love is, an understanding, an unspoken forgiveness. To coin a phrase: love means never having to say you're sorry.

You let me down

There's no use deceiving

Neither of us wants to be alone

I know it's a repost, but this storylayout washorrible so I decided to change it. Any new readers I hope you enjoyed the story. Please Review