A/N: This chapter is getting split into two parts. This is part one and it already has a wordcount of over 8000

Content warning for chapter:
-Panic/PTSD attack, Animal Death. If you want to skip these, stop reading at the words 'Ruby Froze,' and pick up again at 'Trumpets?'

WC: 8679

*Break*

Ruby tried to go to bed after Oscar's text. 'Tried' being the key word

Lying awake for hours, finding it impossible to sleep easily now she was by herself, Ruby gave up around half past four in the morning when bird songs could be heard through her walls. She had laid in bed reading articles on various news apps for two hours, trying to find any rhyme or reason to the public police reports on the earliest dust robberies. That had been entirely unhelpful as the police were still ruling them all as separate incidents. Frustrated, she switched to political columns arguing for or against varying candidates in Vale's upcoming council election, then a piece on a recent White Fang protests that had been broken up before it turned into a riot, at least in the stilted words of the news outlet. Eventually she got up and got ready for her meeting with Junior later in the morning.

Ruby continued to scroll through the news while brushing her teeth. A familiar flash of white made her freeze. A picture of Weiss, baby faced and dolled up in a pretty, obnoxiously expensive looking dress filled her scroll. Ruby read the headline. It was a puff piece about the SDC's most recent charity gala. Her finger hovered over Weiss's image, shaking slightly, for several seconds before she flicked to the next headline. Of course, it was also about Weiss. This time from some drama rag, with a click-bait title gossiping over the scar marking the Schnee heiress's face. Ruby rolled her eyes and closed the app. She spit her mouthful of toothpaste into the sink.

After brushing her hair and pulling it into a high ponytail, her scroll rang. Immediately she hit the accept button. "Isn't it supposed to be your bedtime?"

"Jet Lag is horrible." Oscar's voice, a little tinny over her basic speakers, came through the line. His words had an overdramatic weight to them that made her imagine him smiling while he said them. "How did you sleep?"

"Like crap, but hey, I'll get there." If getting there meant passing out for 36 hours straight once exhaustion finally caught up with her, then yeah she'd get there. "Here, let me switch to video call."

She grabbed her scroll off the bathroom sink and carried it with her back to the kitchen, hitting the button that turned on her camera. Ruby smiled when she saw Oscar's face, shiny and yellow under the lamplight, appear on the screen. Propping up the screen on the backsplash, she started boiling water for tea while they talked.

After some casual conversation the two of them got to discussing Oscar's meeting with Lil' Miss Malachite, relaying how the encounter went, Oscar's insights into the exchange, and ideas for how to proceed. When they fell into a lull of conversation Oscar suddenly interjected: "I met Qrow."

The words made Ruby still, a plain, cheap ceramic mug gripped tightly in her hand. "You did?"

"Right, in a tavern, after the meeting with Malachite." Oscar shook his head and chuckled sardonically. "Wasn't intentional or anything, I just turned around and there he was. An unlucky encounter."

It was before Qrow's Semblance had evolved. "Yeah, that sounds about right." She tried to smile, but her mind was invaded by the last memory she had of her uncle. Of his bloody, mangled corpse hanging limp from the jaws of-she bit her lip and took a deep breath. "How was he?"

"It was a little weird seeing him drinking again, but otherwise he seemed to be doing okay. When we were talking he-"

"Pause." Ruby interrupted, registering the words. "Talking? You talked to him?"

Oscar's wince was visible, he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "In hindsight, that probably wasn't the most strategic move." She raised an eyebrow, cuing him to continue. "I was approached unexpectedly. I should have made more of an effort to excuse myself, but… well, I suppose it was a moment of weakness. I think I did a decent job of appearing nondescript, but…"

"Don't beat yourself up over it, I'm sure it'll be fine," said Ruby. If she had been there and saw Qrow-saw Yang or Weiss or Blake, Jaune, Nora, Ren, or any of her family-she couldn't say for certain that she wouldn't do something, anything, to be close to them again. The tea kettle finished with a whistle. She took it off the heat and poured it into the waiting teapot while she contemplated. Qrow had a good memory for faces; the possibility of being caught in a lie by him was certainly concerning. Considering her uncle's staunch, unquestioning loyalty to Ozpin in the current time it would not be good for their desire to remain unknown should Qrow report his suspicions. But the action couldn't be revoked now. All they could do was be careful and avoid him in the near future, until the right time came. Forcing the tension to drain from her shoulders, she filled her mug with hot tea. "How was talking to him?"

"It was nice. He didn't know me, obviously, but it was really good to just see him. Hear his voice, the sound and the way he speaks, the little mannerisms." She listened to his wistful sigh. "I think I underestimated how intense it would be, seeing all of our old friends alive again."

She could imagine, had been imagining since the first day they set foot in the past. How she would react, how she should react. The scenarios were where her mind would wander to when she allowed herself to indulge in some of the fantasies it had come up with. "Are you more determined now?"

"Somehow. It feels more real." Ruby smiled softly as Oscar raised his gaze back up to her. They held it for a second before his smile fell. "There's some complicated news though. While we were speaking, something Qrow said reminded me of a problem we overlooked. The Mistralean Huntsmen. In our time Lionheart passed their names, abilities, and locations to Salem's agents. Slowly, so as not to arouse suspicion. By the time of the battle at Haven, the majority of them had already been eliminated."

The realization sunk in her gut like a stone. "And it's already begun?"

"I don't remember all the details from the first time, Qrow handled the investigation by himself, but I do believe there was an uptick in disappearances leading up to Vytal." He brought his hand up to his mouth in a fist. "The lack of a huntsmen force in the kingdom led to major panic and instability once it was revealed, which of course only quickened the pace of Mistral's downfall." Oscar explained solemnly.

Ruby sighed. "So that's another thing to stop. What did you have in mind?"

"Now would be the ideal time to start reconnaissance on the situation, since I'm already here and the assassinations are likely already in progress." Oscar paused for a moment, stuck in thought. "Ruby, I think I'm going to be here longer than originally planned."

"Oh." So it would be even longer until the next time they could physically be together again. "That's… that makes sense. It's important to set Remnant up for the best possible chance of success against Salem. It'll help in the long run."

Oscar's expression held all the disappointment she was trying to soothe with rationalizations. "There's just so much to do."

"And we can do it, I know we can. We just have to be careful with our timing. Was there anything else you learned?"

"Yeah, yeah. I have-" Oscar's brows furrowed, his mouth set into a grim line, "A dilemma. The moral and ethical kind."

"Moral and ethical? Ah, beans." Guess she was starting this morning bright and early with a good 'ol fashioned crisis. Ruby sipped her tea and let the calming warmth of the cup between her hands steady her. "Well, hit me with it."

"I didn't just run into Qrow, he wasn't traveling alone. Amber was with him."

"Amber? You mean-"

"Amber, the Fall Maiden before Cinder Amber, yes. She hasn't been attacked yet, she's still alive and well." She saw him slump forward, shoulders dropping inward as he made his body smaller. "That won't be the case for long if we let history walk the same course."

The implication of his tone was obvious. "You want to save her."

"Uh huh, but…" Oscar's eyes cast downwards as he trailed off.

"Bottom of the tower piece," said Ruby.

Oscar dropped his face into his hand and made a frustrated moan. "I just- I know how valuable our foreknowledge is in all of this, I know how fragile it is, and I know that so much of it is dependent on Cinder coming to Beacon. And Cinder coming to Beacon won't happen, unless she claims half of the Maiden powers and is drawn there to claim the other half. But I-

"I watched her die," he whispered. He no longer looked at the camera, his eyes downcast and filmy with tears. "So many times. All I saw that first month were Ozpin's final moments. Over and over again, the minutes before we-he-had to watch the light in her eyes finally flicker out. Before that were the months of watching her wither, seeing someone who was once so full of life be so still, knowing it was our fault."

"It wasn't your-"

"It was ." He insisted. Ruby frowned. "Even if it wasn't intended, Amber never would have been attacked if she weren't a Maiden, and we're wholly responsible for their existence."

"She wouldn't have been attacked if Salem wasn't an evil hoe." Ruby bit back, disagreeing for the nth time with his bad habit of assuming undeserved blame.

Oscar laughed, something strangled and subdued. "I suppose. Regardless, Amber died under m-Oz's watch, while she was being-" his face twisted in pain, " sacrificed . Because we gave up on her, and planned to just rip the remaining tatters of her soul, violate her in such a way." He returned his gaze to the camera, "I never want to do that ever again. Not to anybody, and especially not to Amber. Not a second time."

And so came the first of what would probably be many times when Ruby wished to reach out and physically comfort through the scroll screen. Their separation tore into her, hurt as she saw those hazel eyes shining with tears and knew she couldn't be there. She leaned against the counter, letting the information sink in. Looking down, she focused on the wafting steam rising from the mug clutched in her hands, then breathed a deep sigh. "How was she attacked the first time?" Ruby asked cautiously.

His answer was flat: "She was attacked while en route back to Vale. Qrow was watching over her, but the two of them fought briefly beforehand and she departed from the villager they were staying at by herself. By the time he caught up with her, Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury had her pinned to the ground. Qrow chased them off, but Amber was already in critical condition." He grimaced, "I suspect the trauma of having her magic ripped away did a number on her soul, sent her into shock and left her Aura unable to regenerate."

That was concerning, the image of a soul being torn enough to stop Aura recovery was violent; it made her shiver in discomfort. Ruby inhaled, counted to four, then exhaled before continuing. "What you're saying is right. Not planning to help Amber, when we know that not doing anything will surely lead to her death, makes us partly responsible for it. I don't want that either. What are our options?"

"I don't know." Each word of the admission was tight. Oh .

She knew the look on his face; he was trapped in his head, frantically running scenario after scenario through the wringer in hopes of finding a way out. Ruby couldn't see it, but she could hear his finger tapping on a hard surface, in stressed patterns. She wished she could hug him. "Listen, it'll be okay. She's still with Qrow right now, right? He'll keep her safe, so we have a little time," she said. "You're still processing this, so try to take some deep breaths in between. You're smart, Oscar, I believe in you. And I don't know a ton about magic and souls, but I'll keep thinking about what we can do for her too."

The frown stayed on his face, he continued to say nothing. She wished she had a solution to offer him, but like she said most of the details about magic and souls were beyond her knowledge, limited to what she had been told by Oscar himself and whatever she had picked up over the years from practicing with the Maiden powers.

"Whatever happens, I'll be here for you. Okay?"

After a long moment of silence Oscar finally said: "Okay."

Ruby did her best to smile reassuringly. "Try to get some sleep. Or think some more, just don't tear yourself apart over it. Love you, pinecone."

"Love you too, rose bud." He gave her a ghost of a smile, and then the call disconnected. Exhausted, Ruby collapsed face first onto the countertop. She gave a frustrated, muffled scream as the new info from the call sunk in.

Deep breaths, Ruby, keep calm. This could be worse .

Peeling herself off the cool composite, she read the time on her scroll's home menu. Just a little after nine, she could start walking to Junior's. In a fluid motion she slammed the rest of her cooled tea. Time to get to work again.

*Break*

"You really can't see anything?"

"No, Ruby, it just looks like the side of a cliff. The same cliffside we've been hiking along for weeks."

Astonished, Ruby flicked her gaze back and forth between Weiss and the towering stairway that cut into said cliffside and disappeared up into the clouds. "But there are stairs! Right there! And parts of the wall are glowing!"

"Still nothing," Weiss shrugged, frowning. Ruby watched her gaze wander up and down the cliffside, completely missing the stairs just fifteen feet away from her.

"Qrow?"

She turned to her uncle, who stared at the ascending steps long and hard, squinting, but his eyes never seemed to focus on what Ruby could so easily see. Eventually he shook his head. "Nothing, but if I look at it long enough I get a headache."

"'Nary those who hath not been touched by divine hand may look upon divine land. To beseech thy creators thou must bear their love.'" Behind her Oscar recited words, his cadence heavy with a serious tone. She looked over her shoulder to see him gazing at the steps. His hazel eyes seemed glossy, layered with more than just the sight of the stairway in front of them. "Only those who have received the Gods' blessing may enter, and even look upon their domains. The blessing being magic. Qrow, while you possess magic the quotient of it is minimal; it's not enough to enter the Gods' sacred places, only enough to sense their presence. Weiss, you won't be able to perceive it at all."

Ruby tilted her head, contemplating. She rested her elbow on Weiss's shoulder, "Well what if I picked up Weiss and carried her all the way up?"

"Not sure. Most likely scenario is you both get repelled. Worst case, it's cursed and she dies from it."

"We are not testing that." Weiss swatted her arm off, stepping away in case Ruby tried to grab her anyway.

A low, displeased sigh came from Qrow. "I know we already hashed this out, but I still don't like that ice princess and I just have to sit around and twiddle our thumbs until you two get back. If something goes wrong up there, you two are on your own."

Oscar shook his head. "Grimm can't enter the God of Light's domain. We won't have to worry about them, but they may still attack here. Keep your guard up, we'll be back as soon as we can."

So it was time to split up. Weiss pulled her into a hug. "Be careful," she ordered. Ruby smiled at her partner's serious, commanding tone. She knew from years of experience that it hid her worry. With a contented sigh she melted into her friend's embrace.

"You better watch out for her, Freckles." Her uncle grabbed her boyfriend by the shoulder and pulled him back with just a touch of aggression. Oscar looked up with tired eyes and nodded.

"Yes sir."

After a moment of scrutiny Qrow reached out and ruffled Oscar's hair, frowning. "And watch out for yourself too, kid. Both of you need to make it back alright, okay?"

"Yes sir," this time Oscar gave a soft smile. Grinning, Ruby threw her arms around her uncle's neck from behind. When they all had their parting hugs Oscar turned to face her, serious. He held out his hand towards her, a gloved, open palm facing up. "Once we start climbing, we cannot take a single step back. Are you ready?"

Ruby returned her gaze to steps that rose up to the heavens. At the top was the setting of what would probably be the greatest decision of her life, as ordained by the Relic of Choice. The image of her standing over a crystalline pond, and the implications of it, was still burned into her mind. She still saw it every time she closed her eyes, and now she was standing at the cusp of what it stood for. Months they had spent walking from the encampment of survivors, months they had spent wandering Anima half-blind looking for this place, following wisps of whispers, half remembered legends and fragments of ancient recollections to find this place, and now they were here.

She grabbed Oscar's hand, "I'm ready."

*Break*

A week later Ruby was stepping out of a transport just after dawn. Dirt squashed beneath her feet as she hit the ground, the contents of the large bag she carried jostling against her back. "You can come for me in twelve hours," she called out to the pilot. The nondescript man didn't even nod in confirmation before he slammed the doors behind her shut and sent his craft back into flight like he was being chased by the Atlesian fleet with a kill order. She watched the outline of the ship disappear against the gray clouds with a sigh. The pilot had been fidgety the entire ride and hardly spoke a word to her, only stopping to confirm a location with a quivering little voice. His response to her answer the first time they spoke had been wide, fearful eyes that had darted between her and Junior, who stood over her shoulder menacingly throughout the exchange as the arranger of their meeting.

Whatever the guy owed to Vale's local crime kingpin must have been significant. She just hoped it was enough to entice the guy to come and pick her up again at the end of the day. The man had looked fit to burst into tears when she requested he actually landed instead of the usual shtick of dropping huntsmen and huntresses out of an airlock and calling it a day.

Morning mist hung heavy in the air, the dampness feeling cool on her face. She inhaled the sweet taste of morning dew and appraised her surroundings. Grass grew in clumpy patches around her, along with a few sparse trees. A short ways out she could see tall concrete structures poking through the fog like skeletal stone giants, presiding over a graveyard. Surrounding their feet were the tremendous piles of debris: broken and rotting wood, twisted steel, and the pale shimmer of shattered glass.

Mountain Glenn. A small part of her grinned when she saw it. She didn't care if that was inappropriate, considering the massive body count that was attributed to its fall, this was the epicenter of team RWBY's first mission! The guts, the daring, the bonds tested and made stronger all because of it! It was a great first mission, if one discounted the fact that it had ended with her briefly being kidnapped, and her team being on the front lines for the breach of Vale, which also had a massive body count.

Oh no, Ruby made herself sad.

Sorry future me , Ruby thought while she hoisted a backpack full of bombs up on her shoulders, your first mission is going to be pretty boring, if I have anything to say about it.

She extended Crescent Rose's stock and grip out from the main body into rifle mode as she entered the outskirts of the city, holding her weapon close to her frame at ready. Her boots clicked on the slab of concrete beneath her while strolling through the ruins. It was quiet, unnaturally so after spending so much time in Vale's main city. The only noises that reached her ears were her own footsteps and the distant warbling caws of a flock of birds. Crows, the sound was unmistakable. She smiled melancholically.

As an abandoned, unpopulated settlement Mountain Glenn was actually quite sparse in terms of Grimm concentrations. Most of them lurked in the gulf of land between the ruins and Vale's southeastern wall. The only reason it had become infested during team RWBY's first student mission was due to the increased negativity netted from the White Fang operatives working in the tunnels. At the current moment there should only be a few small packs of Beowolfs, and possibly a herd of Goliaths that had documented migratory patterns near the edge of the ruins.

That was good for Ruby. She wanted to avoid them for as long as possible considering the assortment of volatile explosives on her back that could go boom with a little too much jostling, like the kind most combat scenarios would force on her. She'd really rather skip that part, so she was quite content to stealthily work her way through the crumbling towers of concrete and busted brick walls, missing every Grimm encounter she could.

While climbing over a pile of rubble that blocked the street Ruby found a large object that was meant to be pushed on wheels, half buried and half exposed. From the exposed bit she could see a basket attached to it, filled with more pieces of debris, and a broken canopy that loosely extended over it. She recognized the distinct shape: a baby carriage.

Swallowing tightly, Ruby finished scrambling over the pile.

Her mind wandered back to her and Oscar's conversation when they discovered her pregnancy.

*Break*

Oscar spoke up immediately after the door clicked shut behind him. "We should talk about this."

But she wasn't really listening as she peeled off her boots and strode to the bedroom. Ruby planted herself on the bed and stared blankly at a plain white wall, a glossy, tri-folded paper remained gripped in her hands. It wrinkled under the pressure, threatened to tear in half if she held it any tighter.

After the pharmacy incident two days ago she had shoved all her impending breakdown-inducing thoughts and feelings into a little box and stuck it in the 'later' pile of her brain. At the time Oscar hadn't pressed her, only quietly made an appointment at the doctor's at her dazed agreement, before they continued on with their steady thrum of preparatory tasks as they had before. Part of that included acquiring a permanent base: the apartment they were currently in. It was somewhat run down with a few cracks in the paint and chips in the floorboards. But it came mostly furnished and was in a building owned by Junior, so there were no background checks or uncomfortable questions to answer. Very convenient for those who technically didn't exist a week prior.

Settling in here and thinking about their plan had been a good distraction for her, but Ruby was forced to remember the box this morning when Oscar reminded her of the appointment. This doctor's visit was infinitely worse than the last because of the unrelenting questions-her medical history, sexual health, reproductive health, family history, no she didn't know the details of her mother's pregnancy, is that going to be a problem? -and the tests. Physical examinations, drawing blood, her muscles had twitched as unfamiliar hands touched her, suppressing the desire to put the doctor through a wall regardless of how courteous they'd been.

After all of that she was drained. Ruby wanted to sit in silence and proceed to continue not thinking about it, but it seemed like that wasn't what was going to happen. Oscar entered the room after her, she heard him standing in the doorway.

"I understand, this is hard to talk about." He sat down next to her on the bed, the mattress giving slightly to accommodate. In the corner of her eye she could still see the cream colored folder the doctor's office had given them, tucked between his arm and his side. Silence stretched for several long moments between them as she continued to not answer and burn a hole through the wall with her gaze. Eventually she felt him put his hand on her shoulder. "We agreed when we came back that we wanted the 'happy ending.' What do you think that looks like?What do you want to do after we defeat Salem?"

Ruby's posture slackened. 'After they defeated Salem,' that had become such a strange concept. When it came to her purpose in the world she had straddled a thin line for the longest time. On one side was her desire to protect her friends, on the other was the sense of duty she felt to take care of the problem once and for all by checking the Grimm Queen. Almost half of her life now had been spent oscillating between those two modes. But in her most recent years, as more of her friends were ripped away and she was left with less and less to protect, she had sharpened her edge on the latter.

At some point 'defeating Salem' had become her end goal, and with it the end of her. Ruby hated it, so much of her identity had been consumed by that woman. She didn't want that, she knew at the core of her soul that she didn't want to be defined by the witch.

"Don't worry about possible or probable right now, just on what you wish." He said softly.

Ruby dropped her head to rest on Oscar's shoulder, feeling raw. Wordlessly their hands found each other. What she wanted… she wanted many things, she knew. But the desires were like a wave surely lapping at her ankles: retreating, yet always coming back to shock her.

"I want to see all of them graduate." She whispered, digging into the pieces of herself that she'd buried so they wouldn't get hurt. "I want to go to the ceremony and watch them get their licenses, to cheer really loudly when they walk across the stage and probably embarrass them but it won't matter because I'll be so proud of them." Her mind conjured the image of her team-of Jaune, Nora, Ren, and Pyrrha too-and the smiles on their faces as their names were called, their eyes bright and free to dream.

"And then?"

"I want to watch them grow up. I want to send them fruit baskets when they buy a house or get a job promotion, except we'd be way cooler and send baskets of chocolate and cookies instead of lame fruit."

A light tremor traveled through Oscar's frame. Laughter, soundless but still there. "And then?" he asked again.

"I want them to find more friends and lovers and start families and grow old." She thought of Nora and Ren, of Blake and Yang, and how they never had the time to have weddings. She wondered if they had wanted them at all. If they did, she wanted to go to them and break down sobbing in happy tears and be 'that person.' "I want to see them be happy, I want them to live."

Oscar squeezed her hand. "That's a good start. But what do you want for yourself?"

"What?" She blinked.

"Having the others' happiness as a motivator isn't a bad thing, but what is it that you want for yourself?"

Oh , her brain stalled. "I… want to stay together." Oscar nodded firmly in agreement. She was sure of that, but otherwise… Her mouth opened and shut as her throat went so dry she couldn't speak. She had done it again, she forgot about herself. She wasn't sure if that was Salem's fault or some intrinsic flaw of her own. If she hadn't been reminded it may have stayed in the dark, rusting until it became brittle and snapped under the pressure. But she put herself under scrutiny now, and over the desert of her tongue little words climbed up from her heart and trickled out of her mouth. "-Wanna to go home." She croaked. "I want to see my dad, see the sunflowers and roses that grew in our garden again."

"And?"

And nothing, that was as selfish as she dared be. Ruby wanted to be done now. If she was raw before now she was bleeding. It was like scratching scars until they opened again; she knew it was supposed to be healing, but sometimes healing meant pouring alcohol on wounds and gritting teeth to silence the pained screams. She'd never been a particularly good patient.

Oscar's grip on her hand tightened. He turned to her and she turned to him, their gazes met. Hazel eyes bore into her, "Do you want to raise a family?"

"I don't not want to." She thought she did when she was younger, becoming less and less sure of the idea each passing year. For the last several the idea of having children was a hard no, because she absolutely could not stomach the thought of trying to raise a child in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Now though, her eyes drifted out the window to the scene of a peaceful city street. Now though, her bare toes squished in soft carpet and her fists clenched luxuriously soft bedding. Now though, she had a collection of glossy pamphlets acquired from a visit to a doctor's office on her lap. Now though, she could smell the dinner rush wafting up from the diner below their apartment. Now though, they had an apartment, a base, a home, some semblance of stability. Now though, the idea seemed possible, but did she want it? "What about you?"

Oscar hummed a note, she felt his mood shift somber. "Oz avoided doing so for a very long time. Regardless of what he wanted, he never thought it was fair to subject his children to the wrath of Salem, so he always thought it was better to not have any at all. Of course things never go completely to plan. Sometimes children were born, and sometimes Salem found them." Ruby flinched at the image that brought to mind. Oscar's eyes shifted down. "The lows were catastrophic, crippling. But the highs," his face softened. "I wouldn't trade them for anything. We never regretted having families, only the consequences of our curse putting them in the crossfire.

"But things are different now, aren't they?" He swallowed. Ruby could see a little flicker behind his eyes. Yearning, the same she was warring with. "It'd be the first time our child could grow up in a world without Salem, living without the fear of being the target of deadly spite, and that's something we've always wished for."

"So, that's what you want?"

"It's something I think would be nice. It's something I'd be happy to undertake together, but only together," said Oscar. He moved a few stray strands of hair out of her face and behind her ear. The motion was gentle, familiar; her shoulders dropped. "It's been a long day, let's rest for tonight. You don't need to have all the answers right now, but it's best not to shove aside the question entirely. Think about it, and don't feel pressured to have a certain answer."

With that Oscar stood up and left the room. After a few moments she heard the clang of kitchen noises. Absent-mindedly she wondered what kind of food he would make.

The cream colored folder from the doctor's had been left behind. It sat on the blankets next to her, innocently. She reached for it and, after a moment's hesitation, opened it. Leafing through the lab results and important looking documents and more of those damned pamphlets, she found what she was looking for: the sonogram, marked in the corner with her fake name and the print '8 weeks.'

Ruby laid back on the bed. One hand came to rest on her stomach, feeling the steady rise and fall caused by her breathing, the other held up the sonogram to the light. She drank in every detail of the picture.

An odd shaped blob in gray on a black background, it didn't look much like a baby. Maybe if she squinted the one end could pass as vaguely head shaped. She was told it was too early to determine the sex. Taking this little picture had been the most nerve wracking part of their visit. She had needed to lie on her back and expose her bare stomach, something every honed combat instinct she possessed screamed bloody murder over. The gel they had spread over it had been cold, sent as many shivers down her spine as the unfamiliar hands on her skin had.

A baby, she thought. Her hand rose again on top of her stomach; she wondered if she were still enough she'd be able to feel a heartbeat.

A baby, she thought. The image of the house she grew up in, of a mantleplace covered in photos filled her head; the smallest frame at the far end held one of her father holding her as an infant, wearing that dragon-tooth grin that never failed to make her feel safe, feel loved.

A baby, she thought. Ruby dropped her arm down to her side and closed her eyes.

When Oscar came to wake her an hour later for dinner, she had already slipped into dreams of a life in times of peace. She dreamt of a home where they were safe and days were warm, and she dreamt of a child with freckles and a smile like the sun.

*Break*

She continued to leap from pile to pile as her thoughts swirled.

It wasn't like Ruby had never considered motherhood. As a girl she'd play house with Yang, though that was often a third choice of game after huntress and tag, and she'd think about it then. Growing up she had idolized her parents, so she'd figured she wanted to live exactly like them. Part of that included raising a family. It was something she assumed would happen; she'd never given it much thought. Even after she reached puberty she didn't fantasize about it like some of her peers. Blank, nondescript shadow people typically filled the roles of her fictional spouse and children in her sparse daydreams. After the fall of Beacon, when everything certain had become uncertain, she hadn't even had those. Ruby never thought of it again until she and Oscar officially got together -together, and by that point her stance had changed.

But things were different now. The pages were turned back, the pen in her hands ready to write the fairy tale ending she had dreamed of, and now she had the perfect muse. Ruby slid down the rubble pile and landed back on the street, continuing on her way. Subconsciously she rested a hand on her stomach, and for a moment her mind was invaded by thoughts of Summer Rose.

Summer Rose, a Silver Eyed Warrior and a huntress of the highest calibre before Salem had taken her and made-Ruby slammed the brakes on that train of thought, before the eyeless sockets could swallow her whole again. Her gaze surveyed her surroundings, checked to see if any Grimm had been called to her momentary lapse into negativity.

Nothing. She kept walking.

To calm herself she took a deep, steadying breath and instead remembered Summer Rose: super mom, baker of cookies and giver of the best hugs. Ruby's mom had been taken when she was three and she barely remembered her at all, but she remembered the warmth. She remembered feeling loved, and the safety of being held. In so many ways her mother was a fantasy, but she had been human, hadn't she? Surely she had felt all the emotions that roiled within Ruby too.

Ruby wondered what her mother felt when she was pregnant with her. It was hard to imagine such a mythic figure being as terrified or confused as Ruby was now. She continued her way through the decrepit ruins. The slate gray sky above seemed to be lightening up, perhaps the clouds would pull apart soon and she would finally see some sun.

At thirteen weeks most of her early symptoms were subsiding. The constant fatigue and tenderness were almost negligible now. Even her morning sickness, which had breached from mornings to whenever she encountered something that upset her altered sense of smell and taste, seemed to be through the worst of it. After the incredibly exhausting conversation with a doctor at Vale's general clinic she and Oscar had been given a collection of pamphlets with a series of intimidating titles. 'Prenatal Care,' 'Proper Nutrition,' 'Causes of Birth Defects,' 'Emergency Warning Signs,' and so many more: all of them managed to freak her out on some level. Ironic because she was definitely handed at least one pamphlet called 'Avoiding Stress.'

It was so upsetting she had wanted to laugh at the absurdity. She'd been jumping off of cliffs and charging at soulless man-eating monsters since she was twelve, but reading a colorful piece of glossy paper with a cartoon fetus on it was going to make her snap. Ruby had decided that this was what she wanted, but her nerves didn't magically evaporate. Oscar being there to lean on and help her sort through the confusing tangle of information helped, but an undercurrent of guilt for being the cause of their plan of action being delayed by a whole month left her with a sour feeling.

Eventually, through her river of thoughts, her feet had carried her to what she was looking for: one of the sealed tunnels to the ruined city's subway system. Ruby rapped her knuckles against the bricked over wall appraisingly. She placed her ear against it and waited, until she heard the faintest sound of wind whistling behind it. With a smirk Ruby stepped back several feet, before taking a running leap.

Then she kicked through the wall.

*Break*

Wind whistled in her ears as they continued to climb. For hours it seemed they kept marching up the seemingly endless staircase.

With every step she took, each inch they ascended, Ruby took in more breath. The air she inhaled was thinner, but also more pure. She felt it curl around her lungs and stretch into every crevice of the muscle and tissue that connected her. The pain, the stiffness, the negativity, and the age she felt left her with each exhale. The energy in the air buzzed below her skin at a low frequency, like a much weaker version of her eyes. Divinity: the remnant of it hanging in the atmosphere of this place.

A sliver of the same divinity was weaved into her soul, could be seen shining like a beacon behind her eyes. It was the reason why they climbed the mountain.

Oscar still held her hand. He had moved a few steps ahead of her, leading her higher and higher as they continued on the path. His shoulders and his back were upright, and seemed tense. The air here energized her, breathed life into her pores, but she wondered how it affected him. "Have you ever been here before?"

"Once, as a small child. My parents, along with several in our village and the neighboring ones, pilgrimed here to give thanks. In those days it was something that everyone who was able tried to do at least once in their life." Reconunted Oscar, staring straight ahead. "I didn't remember it very well. My first clear look was the vision Jinn showed us, that time in the snow."

He was tired, she could tell. It had been a while ago when he confessed to her that the instinctive need to distinguish himself from Oz shrank to a whisper as more time passed. Differentiating pronouns-the hes and mes and theys and wes-all eventually blended into a singular 'I' in his mind. He'd still make the separation while speaking to their friends, but Oscar admitted to her it was more for their benefit than his by this point. When he was exhausted, like now, he wouldn't make the effort at all.

Oscar remained Oscar throughout it all, but times like these the ancient pieces of his soul surfaced; times like these Ruby felt like she was speaking to Ozma, the first, somehow unchanged despite his soul melting and molding and merging into new incarnates in every life, despite him becoming Oscar as much as Oscar became him. The intensity of the melancholy that seeped from his skin was so raw, like the festering of a wound never healed. Carried from one soul to the next for thousands of years, Ruby could see it on Oscar's back: bleeding. With their joined hands she ran her thumb up down his in comforting circles. "You never tried to look for it?"

"Never. For a long time, I was afraid of coming here. The Gods abandoned Remnant a very long time ago, but if they ever were to return unannounced it would be here." They continued to walk up, pace unchanging. "And if they did, what would they say? What would I tell them? The task the God of Light gave me, to unite humanity, for so long it seemed so out of reach. I was afraid of accidentally calling them back, of having to face them with nothing to show in the way of progress."

"You did so much though."

"Not enough." Oscar briefly looked back over his shoulder, smiling sadly. "Or at least, probably not enough to satisfy the mission. And now I have truly failed, it will never be achieved."

Ruby wanted to say words of comfort, but none that were true would come. With the current state of the world, the likelihood of uniting humanity was about the same as truly killing Salem. Her eyes lingered on Oscar's stump of a right arm. Even if that could be achieved, calling the Gods back to pass judgement had become an impossibility; after what happened to the Relic of Destruction, all the relics could never all be gathered now. There was no hope for Ozma to be released from their curse.

There was no hope for Oscar to be released from their curse.

Her heart twisted in sorrow at the thought. Ruby squeezed Oscar's hand tightly and quicked her pace so they landed on the same step. That ending was now a dream, but all hope was not lost. At the peak Choice's visions had promised a chance, and so long as there was a chance Ruby could keep climbing. They would go up together, side-by-side.

*Break*

Under the gaping maw of darkness, Ruby hummed a tune as she made her way through the Kingdom of Vale's largest tomb.

A survival lantern clipped to her belt swung with each step, casting a pale blue glow and tall shadows in her immediate vicinity. Crescent Rose, collapsed into its close-range tonfa form, was held firmly in her left hand at the ready for any sudden attacks. The sounds of her humming, the click of her heels on concrete, and the jangling clank of the contents of her backpack bounced around the cavernous void of Mountain Glenn's subway tunnel.

Judging by the lack of lights and the stagnant taste of the air, Cinder had yet to send Torchwick and the White Fang lackeys to the subway tunnels to prepare for the breach of Vale. Perfect for Ruby, it gave her plenty of time to make that little plan impossible for the flaming bitch.

She was quick to find her goal: two perfectly perpendicular, shiny steel tubes glinted at her in the low light. They extended in each direction as far as she could see. Train tracks, unblemished and in perfect condition even after decades of disuse. Slinging her bag from her back to her shoulder, Ruby kept humming her tune as she pulled a bomb, palm sized and cube shaped, out of it and nestled it firmly in the space between the tracks. She repeated the motion every fifty feet, pressing a small button on the top of the device each time she did so. The device responded with a mechanical chirp and lit up with a soft orange glow. She continued the process for some two hours, walking up and down along the tracks as her bag became lighter and lighter.

Ruby reached the entrance of the tunnel that led to Vale propper. Walking in far enough to place the last three cubes, she then exited back to the main cavern. When she was far enough back she pulled her scroll from her pocket and pulled up a screen. A control board array of lights, one for each bomb she planted and armed, blinked back at her. She flashed one final look at the edge of her vision, where a faint glow of the entrance she came in through could be seen. If needed, she would be able to rush towards the exit and make it in time.

Her contingency settled, she pressed one of the buttons without another thought.

The explosion was loud.

Ruby didn't flinch. She unhooked her lantern and twisted it into it's secondary flashlight form, pointing at the direction of the noise. Dust billowed out of the mouth of the tunnel as she watched from afar. Patiently she waited until it cleared, listening for any creaks, rumbles, or moans to come from the cavern, before she made her way back into the tunnel to check the results.

In her flashlight's beam, she saw that the tracks had been totally obliterated in a few places, warped completely out of shape in others. She kicked a loose piece of metal away. Seemed pretty unusable to her. Pleased with the results, she returned back to her safe distance to detonate the rest. That was one down, 59 more to go.

Ruby sat on top of a building with the lantern at her side, swinging her legs as she watched the next two hours of carefully timed explosions. For a moment she wished she had brought popcorn; the glow and sudden orange spark of the dust bombs in the dark was oddly entertaining, like a fireworks display. If anything, blowing shit up had a certain therapeutic tint to it.

When the last charge exploded she removed her now incredibly lightened bag from her back and pulled out the last item she brought with her. A smaller square black bag roughly the size of a corgi, resting in her lap. She undid the zipper and examined the contents quickly, confirming they were still in working order. Once she finished she looked out at the yawning maw of underground ruins and the rolling cloud of disturbed dust that was just beginning to settle.

Considering the darkness around her she sighed and put her hands on her hips, muttering sarcastically to herself: "Setting up cameras in the dark. This'll be pleasant."

*Break*

She emerged from the subway system after another hour spent agonizing over where to plant the cameras and confirming they worked, on both her scroll and the monitoring device that came attached to them. The sudden glaring brightness of the outside had her squinting and covering her good eye. She hid her face in the crook of her arm and winced as she waited for her vision to adjust.

Before it could Ruby heard the hiss of something flying through the air overhead. Habit ingrained from shooting down aerial Grimm and drones, she blindly pulled Crescent Rose's trigger in the direction of the sound. The familiar pop of gunfire was followed by a high pitched, avian screech and a soft thump. The thump confused her, whatever fell had to be very small or light to make that kind of noise.

Slowly she blinked the blurriness out of her vision and walked over to whatever she just shot down. It landed a ways away from her on the other side of a mound of rubble, hidden from her view. When she was close enough she could see its limp figure from over the pile.

Ruby froze.

Small, black wings contorted unnaturally, crippled out at its side. Stray feathers scattered on the ground around. Streaks of red-so dark it could almost be mistaken as black but it's red it's definitely red- staining the ground with awful skid marks.

A dead bird. A dead crow. Dead crow. Dead Qr-

Bile blacktarohgodsno flooded her mouth as her knees wobbled. She pitched forward and fell to the ground on her hands, the scent of copper and rot shoved its hand down her throat and yanked her down to hell. She was being choked-strangled-suffocated-she couldn't breathe.

She spun and stared at the ground that was spinning the opposite direction as nausea washed through her and over her head. Waves crashed above her as she sank. Sank like the stone in her stomach pulling her to her feet so she could curl into a ball and hide.

The black feathers in her periphery melted into different shapes. Some became the dripping tar of Grimm flesh. Some became her uncle's bruised skin. Her heart thrummed against her chest, through her entire body, as she saw the bruises cover every inch of his twisted, crumpled form oh gods his chest isn't rising check his pulse he's not breathing please wake up please wakeuppleasewakeupple-

She could only stare at the concrete and tremble. The world swam around her, quivering echoed screams-Qrow's-Oscar's-hers-whose?-bubbled up in her ears. Then the moaning, feminine but layered hundreds of voices a thousand eyes crying and roaring her mother's stolen empty socket face hovering over the pile of feathers bloody body awful grin splitting her face what happened what happened she already knew-

The screaming in her ear grew louder. Cut through the water, bending sounds of her voice- Qrow's oh gods -and trumpets signalling death and-

Trumpets?

Something hard coded in Ruby's genome clicked into place. Realization slapped her in the face as the ground shook- like an earthquake like something big -beneath her. It rattled, bits of broken concrete bounced off of it and pinged off her hands and her face. The sting made it clear, this is real .

She heard the trumpeting again, much louder and sounding less like trumpets and more like beastly war cries. They boomed over her head- close! -and were followed by the air whistling.

Instinctively she cloaked herself in a generous layer of Aura and rolled .

She tumbled over jagged pieces of concrete into a side wall, bouncing on impact into the air. Behind her concrete combusted, a heavy limb slammed and broke the pavement where she had sat quivering moments ago. Landing on her feet, she wildly cast her gaze to the Grimm that almost crushed her. Her eye assessed as she looked from the massive feet at the bottom, up and up the beast- so close I didn't even notice too close dammit!- Finally what she was seeing registered.

And there, towering before her, was the hulking form of a Goliath.

A/N: -normally ruby prefers coffee, but due to altered taste buds/recommended restricted caffeine intakes caused by pregnancy she's switched to tea temporarily
-when i originally planned this video call plan it was supposed be cute shit like oscar being a blushing mess while fessing up to Ruby that he got hit on and the fact that he blurted out that they were husband and wife
but no
i gotta drop the whole angst vial into the pot like it's chemical x into the powerpuff girls, except i forgot most of the sugar and the everything nice
-Introducing a tonfa form into Crescent Rose this chap, will show up more later. my rationale for doing so is that Ruby's needs evolved over time. the addition of a close range form was due to her encountering more and more human combatants that fought her at a closer range than the Grimm, making her scythe and sniper rifle inefficient. and by that i mean Neo. 90% of the reason this form exists is because of Neo's assassination attempts. I'm also considering adding another weapon form, which may or may not come up later

sorry i'm a bit incoherent at the moment, I'm tired and i want to get this out and i'm probably missing a bunch of stuff i want to talk about in this note that i'll remember in the morning. check me out on Tumblr for more behind the scenes crap for this fic, i'll probably put up all the stuff i forget to write here there

thanks for reading, please let me know what you think!