The first time I saw him was in Burmecia, The Realm of Eternal Rain.

My first thought was 'This can't be him..'

Instantly, I was torn. My entire party was lying on the ground, I was struggling to stand, myself, and he casually spoke of destruction as if it were the weather over a cup of hot tea, like we weren't standing around in the pouring rain, bruised, battered and bleeding. Naturally, my gaze cast frantically about me, my comrades, all in a state worse than my own.

Freya, strong Freya, in the city of her own people, lying upon the ground, soaking wet, I saw her move slightly, but for shame she remained where she was, head bowed. I could only guess that tears fell from her eyes like the rain from the sky.

Vivi, poor little Vivi. His mage's powers awfully underdeveloped, he laid there, knocked out, I assume, unmoving, wounded, no doubt. How he felt, if he even could, I had no idea.

And Garnet, the Princess, the beautiful girl I traveled with for the entire journey. Naturally, I crawled over to her first. "Oh Princess.." I whispered, lifting her carefully, allowing her to rest in my arms, her eyes fluttered, but did not open. I could hear him laughing. As I looked up at him, I knew it was true. I felt tears of anger sting my eyes as I glared at him, that would go unnoticed thanks to the rain pouring down on my very face.

For a long moment, it seemed, that he looked at me. For that moment, it seemed as though he and I were the only ones in the world. That was when I noticed his body, and the way the rain seemed to cling to his fair skin, making the fabric of his elaborate outfit, cling to him desperately as well. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think on it any further, because I did. I developed a twisted fantasy right then. I wanted to touch him.

But the instant he turned away from me, I felt the rain hitting me again, I felt every wound on my body sting, or ache, I felt the pain in my heart as I looked over my friends. I couldn't pitch a tent here, it'd rain through. So one by one, I carried my friends into a nearby building, lying them on the cold, but dry floor, carefully, and giving each of them a potion, hoping they'd pick up soon. Inside of the vacant building was where I pitched the tent. We would share one, regardless; four people in a tent would be warmer than two.

As I laid there, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

At first, naturally, I had thoughts concerning what an unbelievable bastard he was. And how I wanted to kill him. But I couldn't think about taking his life, as awful as it was, call me shallow, but a part of me didn't care he was apparently completely insane and also; capable of killing so many innocents, I envisioned myself with my weapons, concentrating on ending this madness.

But another madness overtook my thoughts. I allowed myself to contemplate them instead of what I had meant to think of. I allowed myself to remember the way he looked at me in that moment, and the way I felt. And the way I wanted to touch him, he looked so soft, I wanted to feel his pretty body in my arms, against my palms.

But at the same time, I wanted to tighten my grip and tear his limbs off.

That night, I didn't sleep. Instead, I laid there, thinking of him again and again, from ways to kill him, to ways to love him, relentlessly on both accounts.

I felt like I was going insane, honestly. I didn't even realized I'd spent the entire night thinking of him until the other's began to stir around me. Immediately, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. For a short time, they left me go, figuring out for themselves that I was the one that brought them in, took care of their wounds, and provided a somewhat comfortable place to sleep, considering the circumstances.

However, we all knew we couldn't stay there forever, so when I was awoken by the Princess nudging at me gently and whispering about how we had to leave, I didn't complain. I got up, dressed, and we left.