Disclaimer: Do not own, did not make, am not making money off of Stargate Atlantis/Star Trek or related ideas. Owned by people that are not me.

Chapter One: The Morning

"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool"
- Coffee News

In an alien city in the middle of an alien ocean...

Doctor Rodney McKay splashed water onto his face. He made sure it was biting cold before doing so; it chilled him into being awake. Not that he really wanted to be awake. He would much appreciate sleeping in, but as the whole of Atlantis was so stupid they couldn't even fix the control room lights without him, he knew he had to get up. Or risk dieing in his sleep due to some moron cutting off power, and plunging them all back into the ocean.

But that didn't mean he had to be nice about it. In fact, a little decaf in the coffee for a month without anyone knowing, and then switching to exspresso would be good revenge . . . Of course, they'd wonder why he wasn't drinking any coffee. And what about Wraith? He's already doing more then his fair share . . .

Rodney sniffed angrily before drying his face. Coffee . . . hmm. Only good thing in the morning.

Atlantis was slowly waking up. Most people were still getting ready in their respective rooms as Rodney headed for the conference room. He hoped he wouldn't have to wait for everyone to file in. Even Doctor Elizabeth Weir - the leader of their little closed off community - was coming in after him as of late. Usually she was first, and had about three cups of coffee down before he entered the room.

Today the conference room was not empty, but it did not hold Elizabeth Weir. It held Major John Sheppard, one of Rodney's best friends. Or at least, one of the few people that hung around him willingly and had non-relevant conversations. The others were Teyla Emmagan, Doctor Carson Beckett, and Elizabeth. Everyone else was willing only if it was necessary.

Their problem, not his. Can't stand talking to someone as gifted as he was only proof they were beneath him.

"Morning McKay," John greeted before twirling childishly in his chair, his blue eyes lighting up like a two year old. Rodney hid a smile.

"Morning Sheppard," he replied stiffly. "You shouldn't do that, the chair might brake and-"

"Noted, McKay. Jeez, the chairs are made for this, Rodney."

"No they are not," Rodney snapped, his brown eyes narrowing at the thought of John falling onto his arse and making his body go out of wack. Rodney went over to the coffee pot, trying to ignore the image.

"Sure they are. Why else have them ready to be swirled?" John sounded smug, like a four year old who made a good excuse to get chocolate.

Rodney bit his tongue. The chairs were made that way so one could turn and snatch something from behind, not so one could pretend to be at a fair. He opened his mouth to say as much, but Elizabeth walked in at that moment.

"Gentlemen," she said as way of morning greeting - right before a yawn.

"Lizzie," John replied before twirling again. Elizabeth rolled her eyes while claiming her own cup of coffee - which happened to be Rodney's.

"Thanks, Rodney." She flashed him a smile and he couldn't bring himself to correct her. She looked half-dead. So he went about making himself another coffee, grumbling to himself silently.

"John, stop twirling. Your making me dizzy," Elizabeth complained while shuffling to her chair. Rodney finished his coffee, heading to his chair. A sip later he put his cup on the table.

John stopped his ballet-chair dance, looking completely pleased with himself. Rodney frowned, then realised why John was so damn pleased. He had snagged Rodney's coffee.

Perhaps the de-caf and expresso was a good idea, after all.

"I am here," Doctor Redek Zelenka announced, sitting beside John.

"Zelenka?" John asked.

"I am up, so I come." He shrugged, like it was perfectly normal behavior. Elizabeth nodded, rubbing her forehead. Why was she so down this morning?

A few moments later the last of the Head of Departments filtered in, each one glancing at Zelenka before taking their seats.

Morning had officially begun.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

Rodney. Hated. Kavanaugh. The man was annoying, stupid, idiotic, and why does everyone have to steal Rodney's coffee! Needed it his ass. What for? He was sure Neanderthals didn't need coffee. Or if they did, they at least clubbed it first opposed to sneakily stealing it from their neighbor.

Kavanaugh claimed he deserved the coffee more then Rodney because he was in the lab first. HA! He was in the lab first because Rodney had left only a few hours before Kavanaugh got there. Rodney on little sleep, no caffeine, and a short fuse was not good - especially if you were not on his short friend list, and at the top of his long enemy list, right above Wraith.

"Are you completely insane?" Rodney bellowed as he saw what Kavanaugh was doing. The more qualified of the scientists went forward to stop the idiotic fool from continuing messing with a certain machine's workings. Not that messing up a food generator device would be that wrong; it'd simply mean they wouldn't be able to use it. But still, Rodney and Zelenka worked hard on improving that thing. The natives they got it from couldn't perfect it. It could make food, but not nourishment.

"Its just a minor improvement!" Kavanaugh defended himself. "Your just envious because you didn't think of it first!"

Rodney snarled something undistinguishable. But he was too late; Kavanaugh had 'improved' the machine far too much. With a crackle and a snap, the lights suddenly went out.

"Well . . . that wasn't suppose to happen," Kavanaugh decided.

"And how did you manage to tie it into the light system?" Rodney spat.

"MCKAY!" a voice bellowed from the lab over. Rodney was going to get Kavanaugh for doing this. Oh yes, Rodney was going to make his life hell.

SGA SGA SGA SGA

"Okay, so what exactly happened?" Elizabeth wondered, her voice indicating she was to Rodney's left. Somewhere.

A coffee mug was moved, from the slurping it was John, and then a clank said it was put down. Rodney wished he could glare at the other man; slurping was annoying.

"Genius of the caves decided to play with technology." Rodney's voice was stuffed to the max with sarcasm. He heard Elizabeth sigh (and he imagined her resting her head on her fingertips, massaging her temples) and he was sure John was snickering.

"Can you fix it?" Elizabeth asked, her voice strained. Rodney took this opportunity to make a very rude gesture to where Kavanaugh was sitting. He knew the worm was sitting there because ever so often he'd hear a soft whiny sound, like it was suppose to get the fool lee-way.

"No," Rodney snapped. "It was suppose to be a food generator device-"

"You mean, like a Star Trek Food Replicator?" John wondered brightly. The sounds of a chair twirling made Rodney wince. One of these days...

"Yes. Which is why I have no clue as to how Kavanaugh turned the lights out -"

"Can't you just fix the lights?" John interrupted.

"Oh yes. We can just replace the bulbs - even the ones in the flashlights," Rodney replied hotly. "After all, we know exactly how they were turned off."

"McKay, I was just asking." John's hand grazed Rodney's, and Rodney grunted,

"Hm." He wasn't sure if that was a response to the intimate touch or the fact he hated not knowing how to get the lights on. It'd be hell trying to figure out how it happened if he couldn't see.

"Gentlemen!" Elizabeth cut in, sounding like she was trying to prevent a fight erupting. Rodney grinned in the darkness. No one could see...

He poked the person next to him as a test run and was rewarded with John's voice, "McKay!"

So it was John on his right. With a bigger grin, Rodney reached over to retaliate the little touch on his hand -

"Alright!" Elizabeth barked, startling Rodney, and he was sure the other two people in the room from the sounds. "If you two can't behave yourselves-" She left it off as a warning. If only she knew, because at that moment John linked his fingers with Rodney's. Startled, Rodney jerked his hand away.

He heard a slight shuffle that must of been from hurt feelings. Damn.

"Okay . . . " Elizabeth started as Rodney reached for John's hand. He scored and suddenly he found himself holding hands with Colonel Sheppard. Why was he doing that? One does not hold hands with one's best friend.

With a sudden uncomfortable feeling he gently slid his hand out of John's grasp.

"Doctor Weir?" Teyla's voice broke through the darkness. Rodney heard her come forward and only stop short of his chair.

"Yes, Teyla?" Elizabeth answered.

"I beleive I have a solution to the light problem."

"Really?" Kavanaugh finally spoke. "I was wondering when another person would finally clue in." He must of sensed the other's glares because the next thing he said was, "So what's the plan?"

Teyla sat beside Rodney in much greater ease then he had when he sat in his chair. At least, he didn't hear her fall on to her ass.

"There is a planet rich with rocks that glow when darkness comes. We could go to this planet and gather the stones."

"Really?" Rodney voiced. "You mean, limestone?"

"I do not know limestone. The natives call it brytnea."

"Oh, pardon me," Rodney grouched. "Brytnea." He was rewarded with a slight kick from John. Be nice!

"Good. John-" Elizabeth started.

"I know."

"Right."

"Right."

An hour later (it was almost comical how they got ready for this mission - only Teyla seemed to know exactly were everything was) they stood in the Gateroom. With no lights, it was blinding when the Gate powered up, the 'kawoosh' hurting for a good few seconds. Rodney blinked rapidly.

"Alright. Lets go." John went forward, stepping through the Gate, Teyla right on his heals, and Rodney bringing up the rear. He knew the rest of the team was behind him, but he didn't know that the Gate decided to shut off.