Falling Double

Chapter 2 – The Midnight Hour

Disclaimer: All characters, spells, world entities and general Harry Potter terms are the property of JK Rowling. The plot of Falling Double, original characters and ideas are the property of Frayed Misfit. Any song lyrics, poems and other inspiration will be in italics and duly noted in the authors note.

The night had not long risen when it stilled, halting its meanderings to lament the tangled feelings of the teenage boys, the midnight hour grieved for what was to come.

Sirius sat awake at the fireside, aimlessly watching the shapes in the flames flicker and die, constantly transforming into new loves and old regrets. A deep black coal burned strong like a wolf, advancing towards the other shapes with menace, while a small un-quivering coal, that took the form of a large dog, lifted its muzzle in friendship. Rapid footsteps in the common room behind him made Sirius stir from his reverie to face the other. Remus.

"I guess you couldn't sleep either, hey Padfoot." Lupin approached the sofa, stopping behind it to let out a little defeated sigh. His pajamas had been roughly slept in and his dark blonde hair stood up at odd angels, his eyes were still sleep deprived and he looked much older than his 17 years.

Sirius offered a small smile, alighting the small dimple on his left cheek. "Yeah, I guess. Too much to think about, with the Serpents and Prongs and Lily, and you …"

Lupin traced the small of Sirius' neck whilst taking his time to look into the deep embers of the slowly dying fire, he saw many things take shape within the flames but dared not speak his fears aloud, he was much weaker than Sirius and was afraid of what speaking would do.

"At least we have the map now, it will make our task of following the Serpents much easier. With their meeting on Friday we will surely learn something to our advantage and then we can act. Don't let them get you down, we're not aurors, we're just trying our best." Lupin spoke calmly, he took his position with Dumbledore very seriously and believed strongly in their cause.

"I know, I just wish there was something I could do now! People, muggles, are dying out there right now Moony! It's not good enough if we just sit here and grovel at Malfoy's feet in a vain attempt to learn something, we need to do more." Sirius spoke passionately, clenching and unclenching his fists, his face turned away from Remus so he wouldn't see the emotion captured there. All of this was so much more personal for Sirius, they all knew that. He was fighting his family, his childhood friends, all that he was taught and all that his parents believed in, Remus couldn't even begin to imagine how hard that would be.

"Padfoot, Sirius, you know there is nothing we can do now, hell, we're just in school, no one expects us to do anything, we are already doing more than anyone asked. I know, I know this is hard for you." Remus tried to comfort, to explain but he knew it was useless.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit. Don't feel sorry for me, I don't feel sorry for you and you're a werewolf, I don't feel sorry for myself or for us. Just stop all this caring Remus, it doesn't mean anything, ok. The kisses, the everything, just stop it." Sirius' voice had reached a high point, he buried his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths. "I just need to get out of here."

Remus sighed, they had talked a lot about all of this and what it meant, and Remus had tried to tell Sirius that he couldn't hide from the feelings they had for each other. Sirius maintained that it would stay a secret and that it was 'wrong' that he was already messed up enough and he wasn't going to change the world from being with Remus.

However, Remus knew how love changed the course of the world, how it caused horrific destruction and overwhelming success. The love that Sirius, James and Peter had given to Remus over the years was invaluable, never had he been loved in that way, cared for on such a level, and he wouldn't trade it for the world. His feelings for Sirius went to the next level and Sirius was too scared, to defiant to admit that.

"You can't keep running Sirius. I want you to stay, I trust in you." Remus whispered, unaware if Sirius was even listening.

"I don't want all of that anymore Remus, I'm going to ask Rowena out again. This is wrong, I feel like I'm lying all the time, especially to James, and it's not real. It's all fake Remus." Shaking his head, he left the sofa, crushing his foot harshly into the dying flames, extinguishing the fire to the cold room. Brushing past Remus he kept his focus on the wall, escaping into the corridor beyond before collapsing onto the cold stone floor, tears racking his emotions.

Back in the common room, Remus watched the dying fire and saw it as a metaphor of his life, slowly being suffocated by Sirius, "I'm addicted to you." He murmured into the soft zephyrs of the midnight hour.

Author's note: yes, it's very short but I didn't want to include anything else in this chapter and make it solely about Remus and Sirius. I'm going onto the next chapter now, so you'll have your update soon, my lovelies. xx