Chapter 25

Akito nodded in agreement. "Our family has carried the Spirits of God and the animals, including the cursed cat for generations."

Alana looked over at Akito confused. "What?"

Akito glanced back and said again, confidently and slowly. "We don't know why or how…but our family was cursed to carry the spirits of God and the Zodiac and the Cat. For generations, their spirits were born to members of the Sohma family. It was demonstrated when a member of the opposite sex hugged one of the cursed. They changed into one of the animals. The biggest differences were God, he was very rarely born. And...the cat. He had to wear a special bracelet lest his true cursed malformed body show his punishment."

"Malformed?" Alana asked confused, her mind only seeming to focus on details rather than all that Akito was saying at the moment.

Akito shrugged "We don't know why the cat was malformed based on that story but in another story, the cat was dying and the God wanted all of his animals to stay with him forever. He made a potion of sorts that would enable them to always be together, the animals drank it willingly but it was fed to the unconscious cat. The cat was displeased, stating that as wonderful a time as he had had with God and his friends, all things come to an end and he wanted to be allowed his rest. God was hurt and the rest of the animals felt the cat had betrayed them and he was cursed. That story is the one that could explain why the cat looks the way he did."

Alana floundered for a few minutes as she tried to keep up and understand what Akito was talking about. "I'm sorry. I don't think I understand."

Akito nodded. "It seems so hard to believe, it's kind of magic and let's be honest, magic doesn't exist. But it's true. A number of us were cursed and turned into animals for generations. I think this last half century, was the first time that all the Zodiac, God, and the Cat, were born close enough together to all be alive at the same time."

Alana looked at Akito. What she was saying was impossible, but why lie? It didn't make any sense for Akito to lie about this, for the Sohma's to lie. Especially if the curse was broken like Akito said. There would be no way to prove what she was saying. If the curse manifested when one hugged a member of the opposite sex, but it was broken…they couldn't prove that they were actually cursed at all. And it wasn't like they would get anything from telling this story, nor would it cause anything but pain if people thought them crazy. So maybe...it was true. Alana leaned to rest her chin on her hands and stared at Akito. "Who were you?" She finally settled on asking.

Akito gave her a tentative smile, obviously reading that she wanted to believe what Akito was saying even if she didn't at first. "I...well I was God."

Alana blinked furiously and frowned. "God?"

Akito looked across the garden, a faraway look in her eyes as she remembered. "I was the one the curse circled around. It made my childhood very...painful and in turn I made others' lives painful." Akito looked at the flowers dotting the little pond and frowned sadly. "I am very lucky that my family has been able to forgive me for the most part though I know that it is hard for some of them." Akito took a deep breath and then gave Alana a small smile. "You've actually met the majority of the Zodiac. Most of them were at the party, though not all."

Alana looked off into the distance as she thought of everyone she had met in the Sohma family and then cut her eyes to Akito suspiciously, "did they used to call each other by their animals?"

Akito gave a sadly amused smile in agreement, "Yes, especially the younger crowd. I'm sure you've heard them call each other by certain animals."

"Hiro...calls Momiji a bunny." Alana looked at Akito for confirmation and then smiled slightly at the nod. "I bet he was a cute bunny."

Akito laughed and Alana thought she could hear some relief in Akito's voice. "Extremely cute."

For a few minutes they sat in silence as Alana thought about what Akito had said. Cursed to change shape? It was ludicrous, ridiculous, impossible! But…again what was the point in making it up? If the curse was broken, they couldn't show it off to make money, they couldn't actually prove it existed?

'Anything is possible in this world. I'd rather believe in fairies, fairy tales, and magic than believe the world is only what we see.' Alana's grandpa's words came to her as she thought. "'Anything is possible'." Alana muttered too low for Akito to hear and then looked at Akito face and the sad expression on it and suddenly realized that they had tried to inform others before and judging by her expression... "A lot of people haven't reacted well...have they?"

Akito shook her head. "We don't often tell outsiders, especially now that the curse is broken, but some even in our family, didn't handle the knowledge of this well. Either because of the supernatural parts of this or because they are unable to hold onto others without them changing."

Alana nodded in understanding. People don't always like things that are different from them, and this was...different for sure. She knew with surety that Momiji had suffered because someone hadn't handled the knowledge well. A suspicion about his family popped into her head as she remembered his words about Momo not knowing she was his sister.

Akito seemed to understand where her thoughts were going and took a deep breath. "One of the powers that came with the curse was the ability to erase memories. It was convenient if anyone learned about the curse who shouldn't, in the early years, we can only guess that it was to prevent our family from being hunted as sorcerers or evil demons, but as time passed, it was to protect us from scientists who might want to study us and how we changed. It was a way to protect the family." Akito took a deep breath and looked away into the distance. "It was necessary to protect other people sometimes too. Momiji's mother…I know he probably has mentioned that his mother and sister do not know who he is. When he was born, and she took him into her arms for the first time…he turned into a baby rabbit and she…she lost her mind. It was a lot of things I am sure, post-partum depression, confusion, fear, a lot of things that combined to make her crazy. She wouldn't eat, could barely sleep, she shook and refused to look at him, let alone try to hold him again. She eventually was asked if she wanted to forget, if she would regret not knowing she had born a son. She had replied that her only regret was giving birth to 'that thing'." Alana felt her heart break at that moment. Momiji might not remember those exact words, but she bet he remembered her feeling that way. Children soak up a lot of the feelings around them.

Akito gripped Alana's hand in comfort as tears made their way down Alana's cheeks in pain for Momiji. "Momiji knows I am sharing this with you." Akito reassured her. "But he isn't the only one whose loved one had their memory wiped or couldn't deal with the reality of the Sohma Curse. There have been suicides, both those cursed and those who loved or birthed the cursed. It is a hard life for the Sohma's. When Hiro's little sister Hinata was born, one of the reasons for celebrating was that there was no possibility that she could be one of the animals. They were all living, but there was pain because Hiro was unable to hold her. He could hold her hands and touch her face, but he couldn't snuggle her, couldn't hold her to feed or help his mother."

Alana wiped her eyes gently, feeling so sad at the thought of all the heartbreak that all of these wonderful people had to have felt all the time. Alana almost wished Akito was lying because it would have been better than the pain they were all feeling.

Akito took a deep breath and continued; her eyes focused on the water in front of them. "But I was God. I was supposed to be the one who loved and protected them, but…I hurt us all. I caused pain and suffering, I put more than one in the hospital in my rage and pain and I can't…" Akito took a deep shuddering breath and wiped away her own tears. "I can't ever really make up for what I did. But deep down, I think the curse and the difficulties it gave them in their every day lives, hurt worse than anything I could ever do."

Alana didn't bother to brush away the tears that streaked their way down her cheeks this time, she just leaned forward to wrap her arms around Akito. How much pain had Akito been in, how much suffering must she have gone through, and felt alone through it all. While Alana hated that Akito had hurt her family members, had hurt Momiji, Hiro, and Kisa, and the others she had come to know and think of as friends, Akito seemed to be working hard to make up for her mistakes, and indeed at least realized that she had been wrong. Many people never got to that point. Alana felt sadness for Akito, she had grown into a great woman, and a wonderful wife and mother, judging by how Shigure doted on her and the joy in her daughters face each time she saw her mother, but she had paid in her own blood and with others to get to this point. She had been in Hell and left it, damaged but stronger.

"Do you love them?" Alana asked taking Akito's hands back into her own.

Akito nodded. "They are my family. It took me way too long to learn the true meaning of family, of love, and friendships. But, I won't do anything now to jeopardize the growth the family has done. I know a few members are uncomfortable with me. Some find it hard to forget even if they have forgiven, and that is their right." Akito stated firmly. "When I was younger, and convinced that being God meant I was the most important one, I demanded that I be the center of their worlds. I made them wait on me if I wanted their attention, I hated when they developed relationships, friendships, that took them further away from me. I hurt them as 'punishment'. I was wrong."

Alana squeezed Akito's hands to get her to stop talking and look at her. "Akito…you need to stop dwelling on it yourself." She put a finger over Akito's lips, taking a little notice of Shigure who was standing a few feet behind Akito, his face mostly clear but a hint of concern buried deep in his eyes. "You are doing everything you can to heal the hurts you caused. But you are doing it for everyone but yourself. Stop working so hard to fix things and just let things happen as they are going to. Shigure loves you. Kaiya loves you. Your family loves you. All you need to do, is love them back." Alana hoped she was helping, she had never known anyone as tormented as Akito seemed to be but…she wanted Akito to feel joy and love. To be able to live each day without holding on to the past. She didn't know exactly what she needed to say, but she said what she thought Akito needed to hear.

Alana and Akito looked up as Shigure wandered over with his hands in the sleeves of his jacket, hiding the concern in his gaze as Akito wiped away her tears. "I see you haven't run off screaming." He commented with a teasing smile but Alana could see the serious glint in his eye. He had to have been worried for Akito, probably not physically but emotionally, especially if Akito had painful experiences herself as she had indicated.

Alana shook her head and focused on him, giving Akito a chance to dry her eyes and take a few deep breathes. "No screaming. A little bit of disbelief but I can't imagine that this would be something to lie about. And there are many instances that I have overheard conversations around the curse but it wasn't intentional so it is definitely something that you guys have lived and experienced because it is a normal part of your conversations."

Shigure grinned at Alana's deductions. "I like when people apply their intelligence to things." He settled down next to Akito and slid hand down her back. "You believe us? That we turned into animals and were possessed by their spirits."

Alana nodded but also wobbled her hand side to side. "I believe you mostly though, I fully believe you believe you were possessed. But in the long run, it doesn't matter too much. I like you guys how you are. You aren't trying to change me or do something against me. Your belief doesn't hurt me and there isn't much you can do to prove or disprove this claim. Logic tells me that it isn't true, but faith tells me that it is. And so...I believe you."

Akito surged forward to wrap Alana in a hug and after a moment of shock, Alana wrapped her arms back around Akito. "Thank you." She whispered into Alana's shoulder. Alana just hugged her tighter and smiled back at Shigure who looked at her and Akito with a soft smile.

It was very similar, minus the kissing, to how Momiji had reacted to Alana telling him that she was willing to wait to hear from him what secrets the Sohma's had. A part of Alana felt very sad that the family was so hurt by others they didn't expect any happiness, nor did they expect kindness. But the largest part of her still dwelled on Momiji's mother and the pain she had caused him so long ago. She wanted nothing more at this moment than to get home and wrap Momiji in a hug and show him that she still loved him because right now, he was worrying over her reaction.

And she wanted to go reassure him that she still did love him. Family Curse or no.

This story WILL BE FINISHED. My goal is before Summer but my muse, for everything, has been kidnapped and MIA.