A/N: Right, er... Sorry this story took so long to update... I've been putting a lot of time into my other story lately, and have been having a bit of a hard time thinking of funny stuff to put into this one. I guess maybe part of the problem is that I really haven't read enough bad 7th year fanfiction to make a concrete parody out of. So, basically, I'm just shoving what little I can make fun of together with anything else that I find somewhat amusing, and calling it a chapter. Er... I hope you don't mind.

Chapter 2

Harry and Ginny

The next evening, the four teens once again made their way to the fateful computer room in the Weasleys' house where they were all spending this summer. Their positioning at the Weasleys' was more for the convenience of not having to describe another location than for Harry's lack of means to buy his own damn house. Oh well.

"So, what's on the agenda for this chapter?" asked Harry.

Hermione pulled out an agenda. Harry rolled his eyes. He should have known better than to think that there would not actually be an agenda.

"Ah, this one is particularly interesting," said Hermione.

"Is it?" asked Ron, trying to have a look at the agenda himself.

Hermione, who was rather possessive of the agenda, smacked the hand which was reaching out for it.

"Or, we could take your word for it," registered Ginny with a small grin.

"Yes, yes you could. And I would suggest that," said Hermione, hugging the agenda close. "You see, this agenda is the key to the story, which is the key to reviews. Which I am most certainly not addicted to again, just for the record. But they do give me a warm, fuzzy feeling rather akin to drinking butter-beer."

Ron grumbled something about how he thought Hermione had said the same thing about his kisses once. Ginny mimed throwing up, and Harry politely muffled his laughter into his hand.

"Yes, but then I remembered that you're not actually a very good kisser," replied Hermione.

Ron looked devestated for a second. Then he remembered that the only girl who he had ever kissed before Hermione had been Lavender. So, his problem was actually more that he wasn't experienced than that he was a bad kisser. He was fairly sure that there was a good way to remedy that problem, but it would have to wait until after the chapter was written. He was fairly sure that Hermione wouldn't let him kiss her anymore at all if he walked out on the fanfiction process at such a critical junction.

"So, anyway," said Harry, in a valiant attempt to get the conversation back onto some sort of organized track. "What do we have to do this chapter?"

"Well, apparently, fanfictiondom is entirely dissatisfied with the way things ended between you and Ginny at the end of the sixth book. Everybody seems to be firmly under the impression that Ginny wouldn't give in without a fight, especially when she so obviously does not want to be protected. So, what we've got to do in this chapter is have a more conclusive shouting match between Ginny and you. In some stories, of course, this would end up with you and Ginny dating again. Unfortunately, we can't go that route, thanks to our whole whore-crushes plot-line. But, we can still have a good argument between the two of you," explained Hermione in encouraging tones.

"Ah, that should be fun to write," agreed Ginny in tones that verged on maniacal.

"The only other things we really need to do during this chapter, which is going to be one of the few chapters of this story to take place outside of Hogwarts, considering that that's where our main action will take place, is to demonstrate how wildly out of character the Dursleys are, and also to describe Bill and Fleur's wedding using the words 'joyous,' 'beautiful,' and 'frilly' as much as possible. For the sake of convenience, we may as well have 'frilly' be our word of the chapter as well."

"All right, then!" exclaimed Ron. "I'll start off."

A/N: Er... Right. So, chapter 2 now. On a sidenote, did you know that muggles are now developing fellytones that use these things called saddle-lights instead of wires? What will they think of next? (Answer: Probably genetics.)

For the first several weeks of summer, absolutely nothing happened. Except for this one time when Uncle Vernon sat on a used monkey carrying a pair of scissors. This in spite of the fact that Uncle Vernon had been turned into a dead pigeon during the previous chapter. Hermione had gotten a guilty consciense after the events of previous chapter, and decided to undo basically all the magic that they had performed on the Dursleys. Seriously, that Hermione girl's a nice person, but she really can take the fun out of everythin. She also woodn;t no a good kisser if she found him attached to her lips. Which has happened.

"All right, enough using the fanfiction as a means to air our personal grievances," griped Ginny. "If you can't handle fan-fiction like a mature adult... well, you'll fit right in with the general fanfiction community, actually. But the point is, you've got to either stop complaining about Hermione's taste in lips or let someone else use the keyboard."

"All right, who wants a go?" asked Ron, getting up from the computer chair and continuing to air grievances about Hermione's standards for kissers in mutters reminiscent of the sort of speeches Kreacher would make when he was pretending he didn't know anyone else existed.

Hermione sat down at the computer desk, and began to angrily continue where Ron had left off.

Yes, Hermione has, in fact, had occasion to find a good kisser clinging to her lips. Howver, the naem of this excellent kisser was Viktor Krum. So there.

"Hermione!" said a very surprised Ginny. "You know shenanigans like that won't get you reviews! You're going to need all the reviews you can get soon, as you're about to lose your boyfriend at the rate you're going. Now you've lost your computer privileges too. Which is ironic, as it's you're computer in the first place!"

"Oh, fine!" said a disgruntled Hermione, who was still pleased at having gotten her main point in before Ginny caught wise. Apparently, Ginny's a pretty slow reader. Whatever.

Harry sat down at the computer desk, confident that he, at least, could make a contribution of over two paragraphs running.

On a seemingly unrelated note (which upon further inspection turns out to be even less related than was originally thought, assuming that it was thought to be relevant in the first place), pretty soon it was time for Bill and Fleur to get married. Incidentally, it was a beautiful, joyous, and, er... frilly occasion. Furthermore, the author has just recalled that the word 'frilly' is the word of the chapter. Which is odd.

Anyweigh, it has been decided (approximately 17 seconds ago as a matter of fact) that since this is a wizarding wedding, many things are going to have to be different from muggle weddings. First off, the entire ceremony was taking place on broomsticks. Frilly broomsticks. From Connecticut. Something else which probably ought to be mentioned is that most of the guests were also sitting on broomsticks. Although the guests' broomsticks were from Spain instead of Connecticut. But they were from one of the frillier parts of Spain. The frills had been manufactured in Rhode Island. Or Road Eyeland. Whatever they call it.

Some of the guests, however, were not comfortable on broomsticks, so they sat on chairs instead. These less aerial guests included the Dursleys who had been friends of the Weasleys ever since Dudley saved Percy from the Centaurs one night when he was out prowling the streets of London looking for Hagrid, who was busy looking for beer. That is to say that Percy was looking for Hagrid, Hagrid was looking for beer, and Dudley was looking for a drunk woman to be his girlfriend, although that fact was not technically mentioned during the previous sentence.

Oh, and Percy was now on good terms with the Weasleys again, and had been ever since he had rescued Fred from a large number of magical insects. The insects were magical because they could eat you. They could also eat George (who it should be noted was not the person who Percy saved. Therefore, the insects could eat Fred too). But they couldn't eat Percy (because Percy had once been a prefect, which was something that all magical insects respect).

Anyhow, back to describing the Dursleys and there presents at Bill and Fleur's wedding. Their presents were a large number of breeding quilles which they had bought in Knockturn Alley, where Dudley had managed to get a summer job at Barney and Bucks', or whatever the name of those "B and B" people who owned the shop that Malfoy always went to were called.

The wedding went very well, with Bill and Fleur successfully exchanging not only their vows but also large amounts of German Wizarding Coins for llamas (frilly ones, in fact).

After the weeding, Harry went to explain to the Dursleys that he would no longer be returning home to their house, but would instead be going to Godric's Hollow, which the fanfiction community seems to have decided is either an enclave, cave, town, city, continent, or small country. Kinda like Luxembourg.

Anyway, when Harry told the Dursleys that he was leaving their home four ever, Uncle Vernon cried, Ant Petunia hugged him, and Dudley kissed Harry on the lips, which Harry thought was kind of weird, but decided not to question overmuch.

"All right, that's all I can really think of at the moment," revealed Harry. "You want to have a go Ginny?"

"You bet I do!" exclaimed Ginny. Once again, the author felt that explanation points help to make this story seem more exciting!

So, Ginny sat down in the computer chair, and began to type.

At this point in the after-ceremony, Ginny kinda showed up, 'cause the current author seems to have a better memory than most of the previous authors, which allows her to recall that the main point of this chapter was to hav a rilly furryus shouting match between Ginny and Harry.

Thus, Ginny and Harry dismounted there brooms.

Harry said, "Er, Ginny... I don't want to be too forward or anything, but I really think that you ought to start yelling at me. It's the only way that we can resolve our feelings and be reddy to fight He-Who-Must-Be-Named-As-Often-As-Possible-To-Prove-That-We're-Not-The-Type-Of-Pansies-Who-Are-Afraid-To-Say-His-Name, also known as Voldemort, also known as Mr. Parseltongue, also known as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Wizard, also known as Spike, also known as Bob, who is not now nor has he ever been a member of the communist party."

"OH RIGHT!" shouted Ginny. "You're a prat! And a git! And a communist! And a fascist! And probably a monk! Or a nun! Or a Shakespearean Toaster! All because you won't go out with me due to noble reasons like wanting to protect me and prevent me from being killed by Voldemort! I HATE people who try to prevent me phrom being killed by Voldemort. Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort. Maybe I WANT to be killed by Voldemort. Well... Actually, that'd be pretty ridiculous. So, I don't want to be killed by Voldemort. But I DO want to go out with you! Because you're a PRAT, you NUN!"

"That was a pretty good job," said Harry.

"I'm not done with you yet!" shouted Ginny. She then stuck out her tongue. Then, oddly enough, fire started shooting out of her tongue. This made the Dursleys really nervous, so they sat uncomfortably on their chairs for a few minutes until they remembered that they were now all wizards (including Petunia, who had undergone a sex-change when she realized that Uncle Vernon approved of that sort of thing). Then they disapparated. Ginny continued to breathe fire, lighting a lot of stuff on phire.

"Wow, that's pretty cool!" said Harry.

"Yeah, the Arthur has decided that I'm a dragon!" exclaimed Ginny.

"Don't you mean the author?" aksed Harry.

"Nope, I mean Arthur. He's my Dad. He has decided I'm a dragon," clarified Ginny. Arthur Weasley waved shyly from over near the Burrow, where he was standing, trying to figure out how to work a muggle fire-extinguisher. Finally, he prodded it with his wand (while still waving shyly), causing it to explode and coat everybody with a thin layer of liquid nitrogen.

"Still, it's really cool, and it's made me decide that I do want to go out with you after-all. But there's one condition. You'll have to be okay with the fact that I will have to go on several dates with the Whore-Crushes, whom I have not actually mentioned to you to this point, but who I am still sure that you know everything about. Because you're a dragon," said Harry.

"That's true," said Ginny, at which point she embraced Harry and drew him into a passionated and fiery kiss. That's write, Harry's lips were accidentally burnt by Ginny's. Still, Harry didn't mind the injury, in fact, he was frilled by the kiss.

Speaking of frills, Ginny was wearing a very frilly dress. The dress had a discount button on it, which was also frilly, mostly to make up for the fact that we've used the word-of-the-chapter almost none at all this chapter. Anyway, the button said "Anthropods who heat computer chips wake up with bad ulcers on thier easy-chairs." When pressed it instead exclaimed "Burly raptors carrying electrical wires to their saddle-lights often get shot down by passsing motorists riding shotgun with shotguns."

"All right, so the chapter's done then?" asked Ron. "I've got to go and drop Viktor an owl that asks him to give me some advice on kissing so that I can please his ex-girlfriend."

"Oh, all right," said Ginny. "I'll just slap on an ending authors' note."

A/N: Er, yeah. That was kinda weird. I would personally like to apologize for certain of my fellow authors who seem to have decided that it's appropriate to use this story to vent their own personal frustrations and issues with snogging. So, er, I'm sorry about that. And I'll try to keep them under better control in the future. But, I hope that their behavior will not prevent you frum reviewing. 'Cause reviews are cool.

A/N from Gryffindor777: Well, yeah, ok. So, there's another chapter. I thought there were a couple of funny parts. Maybe not as good as some of the chapters from my previous parody, but oh well. I can only do so much. : )