Five Months Later…
December 10, 2011
At the gates of Alexandria, Daryl lay a hand on the swell in Carol's stomach and felt the baby roll. Carol gasped at the sensation and covered his hand with hers. They both smiled, but their smiles soon drew down at the weight of another temporary farewell. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly.
"Be safe," she whispered.
For months now, Daryl had searched for Sophia, spending nine days on the road and then two weeks at home in Alexandria, followed by another nine days on the road. He and his search party combed the highways all the way from Virginia south to Georgia and back again, stopping to search different houses, churches, and schools each time. They scavenged along the way, typically bringing back serval boxes of varied supplies.
Carol kissed him one more time and asked, "Who's joining you this time? Besides Rick and Rosita?" She assumed Rosita was the one behind the wheel of that armored vehicle that waited outside Alexandria's gate. Rosita didn't like anyone else driving her baby. Rick always joined him, but the rest of the search party shifted from time to time.
"Ozzy again," Daryl answered.
This would be Ozzy's fourth time accompanying Daryl. After St. Demetrios Monastery officially joined the Coalition in late August, and Cassie was allowed to tour the other communities and became fully assured that none of them were any threat to hers, she stopped sleeping with Ozzy for information. Frustrated at having his suspicions about her interests confirmed, or maybe disappointed at having his free dessert taken away, Ozzy had joined the search party for the distraction of an adventure. But he'd kept rejoining it. Carol suspected his interest had more to do with the young, beautiful hot-tempered, Latina soldier who drove the armored vehicle than with a general eagerness to help.
"T-Dog this time. And the priest."
"Father Gabriel?" Carol asked.
"Nah, Catholic heavy, not Catholic lite. Father Nicholas."
"Really? What inspired him to join in?"
"His wife left him a week ago for one of the novice monks. Needs a distraction."
"That place is a perpetual soap opera." Ozzy's father, the abbot, was down to only seven loyal monks under his leadership who still kept the old schedule. The rest had renounced their vows.
A few yards away from Carol, Rick hugged the nine-month-old Judith tightly and set her on her feet. She stumbled one step toward Michonne and seized the woman's leg for support. Rick kissed Michonne and then said to Andre, "You take care of your mom while I'm gone, you hear?"
"My mom can take care of herself!" Andre exclaimed.
Rick chuckled and extended his fist to the boy for a bump. Andre hit Rick's hand fist on, and then opened his little hand and wiggled his fingers.
December 13, 2011
Every time Daryl was gone, Carol ached for him, for the comfort of his hand in bed, for the deep sound of his voice in her ear, for the feel of his body molded to hers. She missed him, she missed Sophia, and she missed the life they all used to share together in Fun Kingdom.
Carol had considered accompanying Daryl on his search missions, but he was resistant to the idea, concerned as he was for the health of the baby in her womb and for the effect the daily disappointment of unfulfilled hints and dead-end trails might have on her emotional wellbeing.
She'd already had a pregnancy scare in September, when Alexandria was attacked by a group of raiders calling themselves the Reapers. The Reapers had driven a truck through the weakest spot in the fence around midnight. They jumped out with knives and guns and killed the two guards on duty. Carol had been out taking a moonlight stroll, unable to sleep because of the insomnia that too often haunted her since losing Sophia. She had her throwing knife on her. She took out one Reaper with that, seized his rifle, and took out four more before anyone else in Alexandria even made it out the door.
The Reapers were all slain except one, who was tortured for information - at least, Carol assumed that was what Daryl had done, though she had never wanted to ask, and he had never wanted to say. But one way or the other, Daryl got his information. He learned that the Reapers' old camp had been flooded and abandoned. They'd been watching Alexandria for days and planning to move in after killing almost everyone within the gates. They'd have kept the children alive, the Reaper claimed, and a few women.
"For what?" Daryl asked, and that was when he shot the Reaper through the head with a crossbow bolt.
He took Aaron, Tara, and Dixon to scout out the Reapers' old camp and confirmed there was no one left there. When Daryl got back with the news, Carol told him she was experiencing a lot of spotting. He rushed her to Dr. Harlan Carson at the Hilltop, because the Hilltop had an ultrasound, and Alexandria didn't. There, they listened to the baby's heartbeat for the first time, Daryl with widened eyes and the dopiest smile Carol had ever seen adorn his face.
Aside from her pregnancy concerns, Carol also had major responsibilities in Alexandria now. The two guards that the Reapers had killed in September had both been on the Alexandrian Council. Siddiq had been appointed by Deana Monroe to fill one of the slots, and the former Ohio Senator had asked Carol to fill the other one. She'd been deeply impressed by Carol's defense of Alexandria, and she felt that the Fun Kingdom refugees should have representation.
Today was the weekly council meeting, which provided Carol with some distraction from Daryl's absence. Then, once she got out of that meeting, her mind didn't have much time to drift to unpleasant thoughts, because Beth cornered her and asked, "How did you know for sure when you were pregnant?"
December 15, 2011
Two days later, Carol went to Deanna Monroe's house for a morning coffee meeting to discuss what was needed on an upcoming supply run to be led by Heath. There was no answer when she knocked on the door. Carol snooped around peering into windows, and that was when she saw the former Senator feasting on her husband.
Carol busted in and killed Deana's walker. Then she put Reg out of his misery. The man had been clinging to life even while his intestines were clinging to Deana's teeth. Denise scolded her when she went to tell her in the infirmary. "You're over five months pregnant. You should have gotten Tara to handle it! Or Rick." She smiled. "But Tara's tough as nails."
"I was already there," Carol said. "And he was being torn apart! He was still alive!" He would have died soon enough, but maybe she'd saved Reg a few minutes of pain.
"I'll get Siddiq." Denise looked squeamish. "He's better at dealing with blood."
Siddiq ruled that Deana had experienced a heart attack, though there was really no ding a proper autopsy on a walker. Carol wondered if he'd just pulled a diagnosis from a hat. Alexandria's founding couple was buried. What remained of the Council nominated Aaron as their Chairman, and he appointed the construction foreman Tobin to fill the empty seat. The Council agreed to shut down the Monroe's house for now, to save energy, and because there was no overcrowding. Some day, they might take in more refugees, after all. "And either way," said Aaron, smiling at Carol, "Alexandria is going to have at least one more one day."
December 16, 2011
Carol hated that Daryl was out of range on the radio. The CB in the armored vehicle could only reach fifty miles, and that was with limited obstruction. So she was happy for the distraction of Dianne coming to trade. At least, she thought Dianne was coming to trade. But once Dianne was inside the gates and had exited her vehicle, Carol looked in the back of the pick-up truck she had brought and said, "That just looks like a lot of personal belongings."
"It's not for trade," Dianne replied. "I'm moving to the Sanctuary. I just stopped by because you radioed the Kingdom and asked our doctor for one of these?" Dianne handed her an EBT test in a box. She looked at Carol's pregnant belly. "Although I can't imagine why you need it."
"It's not for me," Carol said and slipped the box in the drawstring bag she often carried on her shoulder when out and about the community.
Dianne didn't pry further.
"So you're not on the Kingdom's Council anymore?" Carol asked.
Dianne sighed. "The Kingdom's never had an actual council. Ezekiel just has advisors. He makes all the final decisions. And he and I had a bit of a falling out. I don't agree with his lack of transparency when it comes to governance. I was complaining to Gavin about it…" She shrugged. "He suggested I might get more respect at the Sanctuary, that I should move into his apartment there with him and take a position as head of security. Maybe even run for the Sanctuary Council when it turns over in January."
"Big step," Carol said. "I mean, not the Council. You'll be great on that. But the moving in together part."
"Gavin was ready for an even bigger step. He offered to make an honest woman out of me, but I'm not ready for a formal marriage. And why buy the bull when I can take the ride for free?"
December 19, 2011
10:45 AM
When Carol stepped out of the pantry after talking to the inventory manager, she noticed Dixon strolling toward his racing bike which was parked not far from the gate. Beth hadn't said a word to her since she'd slipped her that pregnancy test. And now Dixon was running away? Carol caught up with him and asked if he was going somewhere.
"Uh…yeah. Mount Vernon."
"Any particular reason?"
"Can I tell you something in confidence?"
Carol nodded slightly.
"Father Gabriel's there. I'm going to see if he'll come to Alexandria and marry us, me and Beth. Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Carol exclaimed. "Dixon, you don't have to rush just because she's pregnant."
Dixon's eyes widened. "You know?"
"I was the one who got her the test. She didn't tell you?"
"We were being careful, I swear. Really, we were. I mean…sort of. After Fun Kingdom was destroyed…and her dad died, she was so sad. So sad. And sometimes, I guess, she just needed comfort, to be close, and if we didn't happen to have a condom on hand, I thought if I just…I mean…I guess I didn't think, really."
"Trust me, I understand."
"I don't think Maggie will. She's going to cut my balls off."
Carol smiled. "Maggie will come around. She puts on a tough show, but I don't think she could ask for a better young man for her little sister."
"Then why do you think I'm not marriage material?"
"I didn't say that. I just think you're also 19. And Beth is barely 18. And it doesn't have to be tomorrow."
"I'm nearly 20 now. And I'm about to be a father. If I'm old enough to be a father, I guess I should be old enough to be a husband. We could all die tomorrow." His nostrils flared. "I could be coming back one day and find it all burned to the ground."
Carol bit down on her bottom lip so hard she almost drew blood.
"I love her, Aunt Carol. And she said yes. So I'm going to Mount Vernon, and I'm bringing Father Gabriel back to marry us." His last words, before he mounted his bike, were "Don't tell Maggie before we do."
4:00 PM
Daryl was home before Dixon was. Sophia wasn't with him. Carol greeted him at the gate. He said what he always said. "I'm sorry," and Carol did what she always did. She pulled him close, bent his head down, kissed the top of it, and whispered "Come to bed." They went back to their room and locked the door, and there beneath the heavy down comforter, they made quiet love. Afterward she cried against his naked shoulder while he held her. It went like this every time he came home, and only when her tears were spent would he tell her what he found—or didn't find.
He'd tried everything over the past few months. Still operating on the idea that Sophia would try to reach Noah's neighborhood for safety, he'd searched any place he thought might make a good camp along the road from Fun Kingdom to Shirewilt—remote churches, rural school buildings, and state parks—checking them off a list Carol had compiled for him using collected phonebooks. He even went to King's Dominion in Doswell, Virginia, in case Sophia got the idea to make another amusement park camp, but it was completely overrun.
Wherever he went, he would always leave the same cryptic note for Sophia that Carol had left her in Shirewilt, telling her to go to Virginia to an address matching the clues Carol had laid out, so as not to expose the Audubon Botanical Garden camp to just anyone. They'd dug through the bodies in Fun Kingdom during that first trip in July and counted every skeleton. But there were bodies they just couldn't reach, not without a forklift, and so the counting had confirmed nothing, except that Sophia and some others could indeed be out there. He still believed Carl had escaped with her and maybe one other teenage, child, or a light woman, though it was possible Carl had not been the one with the .22.
He went back to Dixon's cabin every single trip, looking for some sign of Sophia. "Found a family living there this time."
Carol raised her head and looked down at him. The afternoon sun streamed through the blinds, warming them despite the December chill and the fact that they hadn't plugged in the electric space heater. "What?"
"A man and his three wives."
"Three wives?" she asked.
"Wasn't Old World official."
"I assumed."
"I beat him up a little," Daryl admitted, "trying to get information 'bout Sophia. But he didn't know shit. There was no sign she'd ever been there. He said your note was there when he got there. Rick invited 'em to come settle up north. But…after what I did to his face, reckon he didn't trust us much. They stayed there. Well, except one of the wives. She wanted to come with us. Carolyn."
"Where is she?"
"Father Nicholas took 'er to the monastery camp. She seemed more comfortable with him than any of the rest of us. Reckon she'll settle there."
"Three wives?" Carol asked. "So like Negan? Or those Redeemers?"
"Not like that. Not that bad. Carolyn said he found the three of 'em after their camp got overrun and all their men got killed. They were trying to survive without really knowing how. Couldn't shoot. Couldn't hunt. Couldn't even fish. He rescued 'em from a pack of walkers that was on their tail. Then he told 'em he'd, protect 'em, find decent places to camp, hunt and fish for 'em, feed 'em, kill walkers for 'em, long as they agreed to cook for him and wash his clothes and each have sex with 'em two nights a week. Guess he took Sunday off."
"Sounds like coercion."
"Think he saw it as an exchange of service for service. Carolyn said they were free to go if they wanted, and it wasn't like he was threatening to kill their families or anything. Said if they wanted to go, he'd give 'em each a hunting knife and a gallon of water and send 'em on their way. And he didn't beat 'em."
"Well, that's mighty chivalrous of him," Carol muttered. "And two of them stayed with him?"
"Maybe they started to like 'em. Or maybe they didn't trust we wouldn't do worse to 'em. Hell if I know. But they got a nice place to live. Dixon's cabin's got a well. Fireplace. Near a creek and decent hunting woods."
"Rick didn't tell them where we lived, did he?" After the Governor and Shane's raid and the Redeemers and the Reapers, Carol was highly cautious.
"Nah. Just said up north. Coalition would of taken 'em all in though." Daryl slid his fingertips away from her neck and rubbed his eyes. "Rick says he ain't comin' with me next time. Says he's left Judith and 'Chonne too often. Got responsibilities here as a constable. And he thinks we ain't gonna find the kids at this point." He dropped his hand to to the bed. "He thinks they're dead."
"And what do you think?" Carol asked softly. Because what she thought, as much as she didn't want to think it, was that Rick was probably right. Her hope had decayed like the ash that blanketed Fun Kingdom. In another couple weeks, the snow would come, and with it the deep cold. The roads would become icy and hazardous. Already, Daryl and his ever-changing search party had blown through nearly all of Fun Kingdom's allotment of the gasoline in that massive tanker.
"Think…" Daryl gritted his teeth. "Think I've failed you. Think I've failed our little girl."
"No." Carol reached over, took his hand, and laced her fingers through his. She squeezed. "No, you haven't. You did everything you possibly could, Daryl."
"Ain't sure I can live like this," he choked. "Ain't sure I can live like this no more, Carol, this never-ending limbo. Need some kind of...closure."
Carol rolled on her side and put her hand on Daryl's shaking chest as he fought to keep the tears inside. "You don't have to," she whispered. "Maybe it's time, Pookie. Maybe it's time to let go. Time to bury our little girl. Time to grieve. Together."
7:00 PM
"To everything there is a season," Father Gabriel read from his black, leather-bound Bible before the empty earth marked with wooden crosses bearing the names of their friends and family members: Lilly, Meghan, Angela, Patricia, Oscar, Morgan, Tom, Charlotte, Milton, Hershel, Patrick…and then finally, Carl and Sophia.
Daryl draped his arm protectively across Carol's shoulders while Mika leaned sniffling against her Uncle Aaron's leg. Michonne rested a hand on Andre's head and took Rick's free hand. Rick held Judith against his hip with his other arm as she dug her sleepy head into his shoulder. Luke stood close to Dixon as he stared at his grandmother's cross, while Beth leaned her head on Dixon's shoulder. Glenn put a hand on the small of Maggie's back, and Denise offered Tara a handkerchief.
"A time to be born," Father Gabriel continued. Dixon's eyes flitted down to Beth's stomach and Carol instinctively put a hand on hers. "and a time to die." All eyes were drawn to the crosses. "A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace…I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men… I know that there is no good but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. Amen."
Carol bowed her head and closed her eyes and felt the tears, hot against the inside of her eyelids.
9:30 PM
The fire flickered in the hearth. The children had all been settled into bed. The adults lingered in the living room as Rick began pouring them glasses of wine and handing them out one by one.
"Do you want my glass, Beth?" Maggie asked after Rick handed her one. "I don't feel like wine." She was sitting on the couch next to Glenn and Carol, while Beth sat on Dixon's lap in the armchair, Daryl stood with his arm slung over the mantle, and Michonne lounged on the love seat, waiting for Rick. Rick set the bottle on the coffee table and sat down next to her.
"No thank you," Beth said.
"Why not?" Maggie asked as she set her glass down on the coffee table. "I mean, I know why Carol's not drinking, but you're old enough. There's no drinking age here."
Beth looked at Dixon, who nodded. She slid off her boyfriend's lap, and then Dixon stood nervously. "We uh…we have a bit of announcement to make." His eyes shifted to his wine and away from Maggie's. "Uh…Beth and I are getting married. That's why Father Gabriel is really here. Not for the funeral. I mean…not only for the funeral. He didn't know he'd be doing a funeral, too."
"You got my sister pregnant, didn't you?" Maggie asked.
Dixon smiled hesitantly. He looked up from his wine and looked at her. "I love your sister very much. And she loves me. We're getting married tomorrow. I hope you'll come to the ceremony. It's going to be in the chapel just outside the gates. At noon."
Glenn laughed. "Well the cousins are going to be really close then!"
"What?" Beth asked.
"I knocked up Maggie, too!"
Maggie turned her eyes coolly on him. "That was not how we agreed to announce it. Or when we agreed to announce it."
Glenn shrugged.
"That's it!" Michonne exclaimed, looking from Carol to Beth to Maggie. "I'm only drinking bottled water from here on out. Because clearly there's something in the well water around here."
Carol caught Daryl's eye. The heaviness seemed to leave him for a moment. He chuckled and ducked his head.