Rise III: Whatever It Takes

by Kuraki-chan

s11 Death sucks and lying is hard. Becoming a dhampir is going to be Zarya Vasile's turning point and the hardest thing she will ever have to get over. But it's certainly not the end of her problems. Everything seems to keep going downhill until Zarya finally has enough. How could it possibly get any worse? You wouldn't even believe. (mentions & crosses into Monster)

9. I've Lied For You, and I've Liked It Too

09: I've Lied For You, and I've Liked it Too.

"What's the 911?" Zarya asked as she bounded down the stairs of the bunker like she hadn't just been in Hell with Lucifer. She froze for a split second at the bottom when she saw 'Cas' with the brothers.

"We found a Hand of God that might be able to help us kill Amara," Dean told her. "Cas is gonna zap me back a few decades to get it otherwise it'll be lost in a shipwreck."

She gaped at 'Cas' who shrugged. Her life really had become a supernatural circus. "You?" She said to Dean who nodded firmly. "Aren't there risks with time travel? Consequences? Paradoxes?"

"That sub is a tin can floating in the middle of the ocean doomed to go down. You can't really mess with history at 20,000 leagues. So we get in, get the weapon, get out. It's a milk run." Dean shrugged. Zarya rubbed her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. "If things get outta hand then Cas will zap me right back."

Her eyes widened and fell back on Lucifer who was still playing Castiel to a T. She could see the urge to grin on his face. "Fine. Just let me go get more bullets for my gun in case this goes completely sideways."

"Oh, you're staying here with Sammy."

"Excuse you?" Both Zarya and Sam spoke in unison.

"Just in case things go sideways, somebody needs to be left standing to take care of the Darkness. We can't risk all three of us! And at the moment, I'm the least valuable player! I can't kill Amara, so the least I could do is get the thing that we need so that one of you can."

She blinked a few times, mouth slightly ajar from her mind being basically blown. "I need a fucking drink. Why the fuck did you rush me here then?" When he didn't answer she scoffed with realization. "Because you wanted to say goodbye in case it goes south. I can't fucking believe your stupidity right now, Dean!"

Seeing her anger growing almost too drastically where the brothers might notice something or she might lose control, Lucifer stepped over and put a hand on her shoulder the way Castiel would. "I won't let him out of my sight, Zarya."

Her eye twitched a little knowing it was Lucifer using her full name even though he spoke in Castiel's voice. The icy hand on her shoulder, however, did help her take it down a few notches before she vamped out right there. "You'll drag his ass home at the first sign of trouble?"

"I will."

She shook her head and sighed. "Fine. Just keep in mind how utterly asinine this whole idea is. I need to go for a drive. Call me when you're home unless you get shredded through time or stuck on the sub when it goes down." Hastily, she darted up the stairs two at a time until the fresh air hit her. She took a deep breath before going to her car. Much like the Impala, Zarya had put a secret section in her trunk that the boys didn't know about. Beneath the regular base of the trunk was her secret stash of blood bags for when she was on the road. She snatched one up and quickly chugged it back. With her hand on the handle of her car door, her phone rang. "That was awfully quick," she commented when she answered after seeing Sam's name on the screen.

"Did you leave yet?" He asked too quickly.

"No, why? Is Dean in pieces already?"

"I need your help. Come back in, please, Clarke."

With a sigh she hung up and strolled back to the bunker. At least the blood bag calmed her down relatively enough. When she made her way back in, she saw Sam but also 'Cas' who was dripping wet. She arched a brow. "Awh, Cas, that's not how you take a bath." She smirked.

Lucifer frowned at her, clearly unamused. "We made the leap and Dean got on the sub. I didn't. Someone must have warded the ship."

Her eyes widened slightly. "Then send me," came Sam. "You got Dean past the hull."

Zarya's hand slapped against her forehead. "Yeah, sure, because that's a great idea."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, growing annoyed. "Right. We'll double down on what screwed us the first time. You're really bringing your A ideas today. I can't believe I lost it." He coughed a little before he corrected himself. "Him. Can't believe I lost Dean. Well, it's up to him now to find and clear the warding."

"But does he even know there's warding? How can he find something he doesn't know exists?" Zarya commented.

"No. We can help." Said Sam. "There's gotta be something in magic or angel lore. Some way to clear the sigils from the outside. Cas, don't worry. We'll bring him back."

She sighed. "I'll go check the basement records and books."

"Good idea," Sam nodded. "I'll read what we've got up here."

"I will assist Zarya downstairs," came 'Cas'. "The collection from the Men of Letters is quite extensive."

Zarya was already halfway out of the room when she heard him. She scoffed lightly and kept going. Her enhanced hearing heard Sam reply, "Yeah, sounds good." She kept walking, even when she heard his footfalls catch up to her.

"Honestly, aside from my typical disdain of working with the Winchesters," Lucifer spoke in his usual voice again, "my least favorite thing about this whole ordeal is having to call you 'Zarya'."

"Yeah, well, only two people on the face of this Earth call me 'Rya' so if you wanna blow your cover that's all you."

"A little touchy because you're worried about your precious Dean, hm?"

"No, actually. I think what he's doing is fucking stupid and it infuriates me. But if I don't wanna blow my cover then I have to suck it up. The only reason I give a damn about him getting a boner for Amara is because it'll fuck us all in the end. I'm not dealing with being a dhampir and trying to hide it just to die by someone else's stupidity." She blew some hair from her face before dropping cross-legged on the floor and going through random files and books near herself.

Lucifer looked down at her with an arched brow. "You're not mad that he's got the hots for Amara, you're mad that he won't tell you. What's the big deal about him telling you that if you won't tell him you know how I feel about you?"

Her body froze, eyes staring down at words she was no longer reading. It took a couple of moments for her to find any kind of thoughts and explanation. "B-because as far as they're concerned, you're still in the Cage."

"Ah, that's not it though." He knelt down in front of her even though she still wouldn't look up. "You could have gone running to them as soon as you found out before you even turned. It probably would have kept them from coming to see me about Amara for fear of my getting to you. They would have done everything they could to keep you away from me."

"Can you stop Dr. Phil-ing me?" She grumbled. "I would have sought therapy from a licensed professional years ago if I was interested."

"Did you know you do this thing where you deflect the conversation when it goes somewhere just a pinch too emotional for you to deal with? Something you don't want to admit? Deflect. Something you don't want to think about? Deflect. Something you don't want to deal with? Deflect. Kind of like when Dean kissed you and you ran for the hills."

"What do you want me to say, huh?" She snapped, finally looking up from the files in her lap. "You're damn right I don't want to deal with it, acknowledge it, or think about it. Because everytime you even get slightly in my head it screws with my morals. I forget why I'm here and what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm a hunter. Sam and Dean are my family."

"You can keep telling yourself that, sure, but it's not gonna last forever. You're a dhampir now, Rya. And you're lying to your supposed family about it because you know how they'll react. They're hunters, Rya. They only care about you so long as you stay human. And the only way you would have remained human all your life is by having a child to pass the gene onto before it activated in your blood. That's all out the damn window now."

"Don't you think I know that?" She jumped to her feet, her heart beating wildly in her chest. He stood slowly and calmly. "I was never going to have children anyways. I'm not meant to be someone's wife or mother! Certainly not anymore either. All I have left is clinging to some kind of normalcy. I avoided Dean's affections for me. What makes you think I can't do the same to you?"

"Because I'm not Dean," he told her firmly as he pulled her close against him. "I know who you are. I know how you are. I know what you need and what you want. I can give you everything in the universe you deserve. There is not a creature on any plane that could be better for you or love you more than I do."

And he said it out loud, she thought with her emotions running rampant. There was no way he didn't feel or even hear her heart beating madly in her chest against his. Why the hell did he have to say it and look at me like that?

"I already told you," her voice shook enough for him to notice, "we are not a good combination."

"We're just not good, Rya," he told her softly. "You can't keep being a dhampir a secret forever. When it gets out, no one is going to look at you the same except me. You could tear into my throat right now and I would let you! Do you have any idea what you've done to me?"

"Look at what you've done to me!" She argued back, smacking her hands on his chest as hard as she could being so tightly close to him. "Everything was just fine until you got ahold of my best friend and I got sick since you freakin' imprinted on me when I was a kid! I did what I had to do and that meant becoming a hunter because I had nothing left."

"You had me! You still have me! You were the only person to ever understand why I did what I did and what I still do. We were perfectly fine in Detroit. And I'm not going to stop until you know what I'm saying is true. Even if you really don't ever love me, just admit to yourself that I love you."

Her lip trembled as she stared him in the eye. Her greener than blue eyes had glossed over with tears that would turn to blood. "Because if I do that, then I risk finding out that I do love you."

Without another word, he grabbed her face and passionately kissed her. At first she tried to push away, but barely. It was mere seconds before she was clutching his collar and kissing him back yet again. Her mouth started to ache from the desire to release her fangs but she refused. He pushed her against one of the book shelves, knocking some of them to the floor. She didn't even register that it was Cas' body anymore and let her hands tangle themselves in his hair. They both heard the thudding footfalls of Sam's boots growing nearer suddenly and quickly separated to opposite sides of the room. When he entered to tell them he might have found something, it was as if nothing had just happened.

"I think I have something. The spell of gathering - it's an incantation used to focus the power of celestial beings, angels, against all drawn forms of evasion. The spell is designed to clear all mystical or occult blockages. I mean this is highly theoretical magic, it's never been used before, but it sounds like it could work." He explained as they headed back upstairs.

Since they were out of sight behind Sam, Lucifer gently put a hand on the small of Zarya's back. "And the ingredients?" He questioned in Castiel's voice.

Sam read through the page again. His expression fell when he got to the end. "Uh… all but one. That's why it's never been used before… it requires the power of an archangel."

Lucifer resisted the urge to smirk. "Well, Sam, we may as well try."

"We don't have time for long shots, Cas. Even at full power you're not strong enough." He sighed and walked off, leaving Zarya and Lucifer alone.

"You're gonna do the spell, aren't you?" She asked with a small sigh.

He grinned at her. "Of course I am. Don't you think I want that Hand of God?"

She groaned and dramatically flipped the book back open. "I'll go get the ingredients."

Some few minutes later, Sam returned to find the pair putting things in a mortar and hovering over the book. "What are you two doing?"

"It's your spell of gathering," Lucifer replied in Cas' voice.

"Are you nuts? You're not strong enough, Cas; you could get hurt!" He then looked to Zarya. "Are you condoning this?"

She shrugged. "Have you found a better option? I mean, why the fuck not, right? Dean wanted to go back in time by himself onto some war ship for a freakin' Hand of God. Cas is a big boy. He can make his own decisions. I'm done trying to tell you three how not to kill yourselves."

Sam sighed. "I remember Bobby told me when you needed strength to retrieve us from the past, you used him to power up, you touched his soul, right?"

Sammy, don't, Zarya thought with bitterness and mild guilt.

"That's right, I did that. But that procedure can be fatal." Lucifer ignored the side glare from the ravenette beside him.

"Use my soul. That way maybe you'll have enough power to wield the spell."

"That's not necessary, Sam," Zarya tried to speak up. "Just let him-"

"It's worth the risk," he urged. "Dean needs our help. I trust you, Cas."

Lucifer's lips twitched into a sadistic smile. Then he started to laugh. Sam was confused as he looked between Zarya and who he believed to be Castiel. "Oh, it's just - I don't need you anymore. I mean, Dean's the one with the link to Amara, why have I been trying to spare you? I mean maybe it's because you're like the girl who kept turning me down at the prom until I got a new date." Sam's eyes began to widen and then he was flung into one of the columns nearby. "I will touch your soul. Just because you asked so nicely, and I'll use your spell to blast through the warding and retrieve Dean and the uh, Hand of God, and then when Dean comes back and he finds this place decorated with your guts, I will tell him the truth, Sam. I'll just say, 'Dean-'" He chuckled a little and cleared his throat so he could mock Castiel's voice again. "'Dean… he knew the risks. He wouldn't take no for an answer.'"

Sam's eyes widened with horror. "Lucifer…" He then looked to Zarya whose eyes had also widened. "Clarke, run!"

Zarya took a step back. Running would do her no good unless she could use her speed which she couldn't in front of Sam. But if she wanted him to believe she didn't know that hadn't been Cas then she had to do something. In her hesitation, he spun around and gave her a smirk and a wink. "Terribly sorry, Rya, but I'm going to need you to stay put for a few minutes." With a snap of his fingers she was trapped in a thick, glass prism. She banged her fists on the wall no harder than she could with Sam watching. Lucifer got close enough where she would still hear his whisper. "You might be able to break the glass if you use your full strength but you can't do that in front of dear old Sam, can you?" He teased her. "Just sit tight, sweetheart, I'm only going to go get Dean for the show."

As soon as he turned around, Zarya quickly reached into her boot and pulled out her magic talisman. Her eyes lit up indigo and a quick slur of a spell in Enochian caused a ringing in the archangel's head. He whipped around chuckling at her. "I see someone spent some time with Sofia." The ringing grew louder, earning a small groan from him. "Hello, Castiel."

He stumbled back a bit as he struggled with Castiel for control. With her talisman in hand Zarya tried to punch at the glass. It had to be at least three inches thick. "Sam, it's me," Cas spoke with strain in his voice as he desperately tried to keep Lucifer at bay.

Sam had fallen to the floor when Lucifer lost control and looked to Cas with a horrified expression. "Cas, why?"

"I wanted to be of service to the fight. And only Lucifer can beat her."

"You chose this? You have to fight, Cas! Eject him now!"

"I can't! It's taking all my strength to keep him from killing you. And besides, we need him!"

"No Cas, we don't. We'll find another way to stop Amara!"

Cas shook his head. "We need him to save Dean."

"You can't time travel."

He shook his head again. "Only Lucifer can. He's also the only one who can release Zarya from that glass prism."

The ringing returned in full blast and then Sam was thrown forcefully back into the column. "That was actually pretty clever of you, Rya," Lucifer commended the ravenette. "Too bad you can only do it once." With a grin, he reached into Sam's abdomen to touch his soul. Sam immediately yelled in great pain.

Zarya grit her teeth, baring her fangs whether Sam could have seen or not with her fists on the glass. "I'll go with you!" She yelled suddenly.

"I was already taking you with me, Rya," he shouted back to her with a light laugh.

"I'll go willingly!" He finally stopped, retracting his hand from Sam who slumped to the floor barely conscious. "I won't fight you. I won't try to leave."

He approached the prism slowly with a sly smirk. "Tell Dean that when I bring him back and I won't smite them with the Hand of God he's retrieving."

She bit the inside of her cheek with deep contemplation. Sam was struggling to remain conscious on the floor. "Fine," she finally agreed. In a flash he was gone, but only for a couple of seconds at most.

Sam had started sitting up as he shook off the lightheadedness and pain. When he saw Dean return with Lucifer, he quickly found his voice. "That's not Cas!"

Dean's eyes widened as the angel beside him grinned guiltily and shrugged. "Cat's out!" With his hand still on Dean's shoulder he flung the hunter across the table and into a wall. "I feel a burden lifted. You know, this whole deep cover thing - it just wasn't- it wasn't terribly well thought out. Donning this- this Cas mask? This grim face of angelic constipation? It just… ugh. And then, teaming up with you two. I mean, I thought you boys were insufferable as mortal enemies, but working with you? That's the soul crusher. And on top of it I couldn't use my pet name for my sweetheart. What a shame, wasn't it, Rya?"

Dean then noticed the prism with Zarya trapped inside. His eyes widened with horror. "Zare!" He then turned to the archangel with fury. "Let her go right now you son of a bitch!"

"Oh, sure. Not a problem, actually." With a snap of his fingers the prism disappeared yet Zarya continued to just stand there behind him. "Not gonna go check on them, Rya?" She looked away so he grabbed her chin and with a little force made her look at the brothers. "Go ahead and tell them, my love."

Her lip trembled a little as she looked Dean in the eye. "I'm going with him… I said I would. Don't come for me."

Their eyes widened. Dean tried to scramble to his feet and yell for her, but it was too late. By time he even started to sprint they were gone.

---

"You son of a bitch!" Zarya shouted as she shoved Lucifer with all of her strength away from her when they appeared in the throne room.

He actually skid a good few feet away and looked at her with a playful smirk. She was getting mad which allowed the vampire blood in her to shine. Her teeth were grit tight showing her fangs. "You really want to do this right now, Rya?" He asked as he shrugged off Castiel's trench coat and laid it across the armrest of the throne.

She paid no mind to the couple of demons around or even Crowley in the cage in the corner. Boiling hot rage burned through her blood which spiked the control of the vampire gene. By time he rolled up his sleeves, her irises had bled into crimson with her fangs fully extended. From what he could see through the metal bars Crowley shrank back in the darkness. Zarya used her speed which nearly caught Lucifer off guard but he grabbed her arm just in time. He tossed her back across the room yet she landed on her feet.

"Why do you always have to be such an egotistical jackass?!" She yelled at him.

Lucifer smirked, already prepared for her next move with what he was about to say. "I figured maybe Dean would acknowledge that you were mine before you did."

He's expecting you to react without thinking, she told herself quickly as she rushed forward again. That time she slid just out of his reach before he could grab her. His eyes widened with surprise for a split second before her foot collided with his back. "Every time I even start cutting you some slack you go and do something completely absurd that just makes me wanna hit you over and over again!"

He straightened himself out and shrugged. "Do you think Remiel is gonna go easy on you at all? No! She'll be tossing you around like a plaything." With a flick of his wrist Zarya was tossed up into the air and crashed down to the floor harshly. "Having you tell Dean you were willingly coming with me was for my own amusement. I was taking you regardless to train you because I'm the only person that knows Remiel's battle strategies."

She huffed as she hauled herself off of the floor. "How soon am I supposed to be fighting her?"

"The sooner the better if you'd like to go after Amara as well. Remiel needs to die so I can be at full power otherwise she anchors it down."

Zarya sighed, regrettably acknowledging that he was right. She then cracked her neck and knuckles. "Alright, fine. Then give me your worst."

"Yeah, sure. And when was the last time you fed on something living rather than in a cold bag?"

"When I turned and killed my uncle so I plan to keep it that way."

"Well now you're just being an idiot, Rya. You can't even look Remiel in the eye unless you're at full strength. She overpowered Nova and fried her humanity, remember? Just imagine what she would do to your head."

"I'm never feeding off of a human being again so long as I'm forced to live this way. Blood bags sustain me just fine."

"Yeah, I'm sure they do." With another flick she was tossed into the high ceiling and let to drop but he caught her and let her hover just before she could reach the floor. "You're helpless to her like this, Rya." He let her fall the last couple of inches onto the floor. "It is possible to feed without killing you know."

"Not for me," she admitted as she got to her feet. "I felt myself lose control. I'm not putting myself in that position ever again. I'm not becoming a Ripper."

"Well fine then. You don't want to feed on a human for fear of losing control? I guess it's a good thing there's an even better option."

She opened her mouth to question him when she realized what he meant. Her eyes widened with bewilderment. He gladly noticed the way her cheeks turned pink. "Absolutely not!" She argued.

"What?" He shrugged with an arrogant smirk. "You can't kill me, and I'm much stronger than a human would be for you."

"Not happening," she replied adamantly before rushing him again.

With a rather disappointed sigh he held out his hand and stopped her in her tracks, freezing her in place. "You would have the ability to overpower control like this, Rya. A little bit of my blood and that sweet little family talisman you've still got clutched in your hand would do it. Just let me prove it to you." He snapped his fingers, making a small, empty vial appear in his hand. He then took his angel blade and made a cut in his hand to bleed into the vial. He released Zarya from her frozen state as he handed her the vial. "This small amount won't stay in you long. I promise."

Very hesitantly, Zarya reached out and took the vial. Her human half was screaming against the idea entirely. The vampire in her, however, was drawn to the thought. Before she could go back on the thought Zarya tipped the vial back. She felt a change immediately. It was like a frozen ocean washed right over her. As the vial clattered to the floor with the initial shock to her body, Lucifer lifted her off the ground once more. For added effect and practice he put a little pressure on her lungs, taking her breath away and making her choke. Zarya's eyes widened with the strain. Her talisman started to burn in her hand. A newfound strength emerged through her blood. Her fangs extended as her eyes turned crimson again. Then she gasped as she regained control of her lungs. She tugged at her arms against Lucifer's control but there was still a lot holding tight. Finally, with one more violent pull, Zarya ripped herself free and fell to her knees on the floor. She looked up slowly to find Lucifer smirking with pride down at her.

"Do you trust me now, Rya?"

Truthfully, though she would never say it aloud, she had always trusted him.