Aeris and Popularity

Chapter Three...

I'm sorry it took so long.

1p.m. 19/12

It had been half an hour since Yuffie and Aeris had started playing catch with one of Yuffie's shurikens, yet her plan to murder Aeris by 'accident' still hadn't occured. Although Aeris was a stupid bitch she still knew how to bloody catch. Even when Yuffie thought she had won, and the shuriken was one millimetre away from Aeris' face, she'd catch it just by her little fingers.

"This is exciting! I'm having fun!" Aeris giggled. Yuffie, however, was not. She was getting so bored of this. Aeris laughed again as she caught the shuriken, Yuffie was so bored now, she looked away for one second and didn't notice Aeris throw it back...

3:40p.m. Two Days Later 21/12

A day after Yuffie's funeral and everything was back to normal again.. well, almost. Aeris was still stupid, and hadn't connected two and two together to notice that people died around her. Cloud was furious that Yuffie and Tifa had failed their task, so he sent Cid in to do the dirty. Cid's plan was to just render her unconscious and stab her whilst she was asleep with a bread knife. Afterwards, he would dump her body in the trash and hope no one would find it. However, Cid's plan did not quite go to ... uh.. plan.

4:56p.m.

"Say, Aeris..?" Cid coughed. He and Aeris were alone in one of the bedrooms.

"Yes, Cid?" she asked. She lifted her head from her gossip rag and watched as he pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocket.

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?" She stood up to go and smell it, but being the stupid cow that she was, she hit her knee hard on a small table and fell onto Cid. In an instant they were both on the floor, Cid and Aeris had forgotten about the handkerchief, and all they could think about was how attractive each other were. Aeris and Cid locked lips after 10 seconds of gazing at each other, and 30 minutes later...

5:26p.m.

Barret burst into the room after hearing weird noises coming from inside the bedroom.

"Cid, did you finish her off?" Barret asked. He was about to ask again, but just realized that Aeris and Cid weren't visible, but hidden under a sheet moving around a lot. He walked up the bed and pulled the sheet off, and stared in shock at the sight of Aeris and Cid having it off. "Oh, you stupid bugger! We didn't want you to bloody shag her!" he bellowed. Cid and Aeris have off an embarrassed little laugh. Too bad for Cid though, because since sleeping with Aeris he contracted a deadly sexual disease; he was dead within the night.

2:22am 22/12

"This is urgent. We have lost three of our best staff.." Cloud spat out.

"Hey!" the rest of them shouted out. "Oh, whatever.."

"This is important! I mean, how hard can it be to kill one person!" he cried. "Look, I'll just have to kill her myself." he sighed.

"How are you gonna do it, Cloud?" Barret asked as he smoked a cigarette.

"Tell me, Barret, what did you light that fag up with?"

"A.. flame..?"

"Exactly. Fire kills anything.. mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha..."

"Right.." Barret responded. "So, how are you going to kill her?" Cloud slapped his head and then Barret.

6p.m. 23/12

"Hey, Aeris?" Cloud whispered, as he poked his head around Aeris' bedroom door.

She looked up from today's gossip rag and asked him what he wanted. When she saw the black eye he had she ran over to him, dragged him in, then slammed the door behind him.

"What the bloody hell happened to your face!" she cried as she touched his eye.

"Ouch! Barret just.. oh, never mind! Anyway, Christmas is coming up, and I wanted to give you a uh.. special pre-Christmas gift." he concucted. She clapped her hands in glee and asked him what is was. "Before I tell you, I must dowse the room is this petrol-smelling water to .. uh... cleanse it of evil thought!" he laughed. She hesitated, but agreed, and watchd as he splashed petrol all around her bedroom and Aeris. "There, now, here is your present!" He handed her a golden Zippo lighter that was found on Cid's rotten corpse. She kissed and thanked him as she prepared to light it.

"Wait!" he shouted. "Let me leave the room before you do that, otherwise... it's... bad luck!" he ran outside and locked the door behind him. All that was heard of next was a massive BAM as her bedroom, and Aeris, were engulfed in flames.

7:45p.m.

"Hurrah!" they all cried, as they toasted to Aeris' death. Aeris was finally dead, and buried.. in a bin, and everyone was happy.

"So, you're sure the bitch is dead?" Barret asked.

"Well, I'm positive.." Cloud replied. But was he? He felt a nagging sensation at the back of his head. Was she? It was hard to tell, but her charred body with melted skin sort of made them assume she was. "I'll be right back.. I'm going.. uh.. for a slash.." he added, as he put his glass down and went outside of the staff room. He ran downstairs into the bin room and siffed through all the rubbish to find her corpse. What the hell! Cloud thought. Her body was gone. He rummaged through it thoroughly, but it was definetly gone. Just then, something tapped on his shoulder. He screamed like a little girl and fell on his back in the trash. Standing above him was Aeris' dead body.

"Look at me, Cloud, my clothes are all burnt!" Cloud couldn't utter a word, as the shock was too great. "Well, are you just going to lie there?" she cried. She reached out her hand and grabbed his hand, but as it was so burnt her hand fell off, along with her arm; her body was starting to decompose. "What the..! Cloud..! My body,.. it's decomposing!"

"It's...it's... it's... bec-cause,.. you're dead, Aeris!" he shouted. She stood in horror at this revelation. Was she really this stupid as to not even know she was dead? I mean, come on! Her arm had fallen off, and her heart had stopped beating. Even her hair had come out in clumps and was burnt to a melted liquid goo. She gave out a deafining cry which caused Cloud to soil himself.

"Why aren't you dead!" he wanted to scream. But no words came out. She just stood there over him, waiting for him to say something.