Disclaimer: Yet another CCS fic and still I don't own anything…

A/N: This is suppose to be a original fic, but I think its better off as a CCS Fan fiction. Hope you like it too. Favor? Could you peepz tell me what's OOC? Thanks!

Summary:

He loved her, she knew.
She loved him too, but she was scared…
…so she lied about it.
After six years, admitting that she was still in love with him…
…she struggles to forget.
After six years, they see each other again.
After six years…
…they will continue where they left off…
Could they?

Never to Love Me

by: UreyEz13

Prologue: I Don't Love You

I woke up lazily and yawned as I stretched my arms. Yet another day of a life as me.

I got up and put on my house slippers then walked towards my mirror that held all my things from my combs and brushes to my medicine.

Yeah, I'm sick. Nothing serious, just asthma as far as I know, it barely attacks too.

I sat before the mirror and grabbed one of my brushes and brushed my shoulder length auburn hair. It was smooth since I just got up so it took no longer than thirty seconds to fix it.

Then I neared my face to the mirror and stared deep at my black. I hated them. I hated seeing them each and every morning of my life. It was the most dreaded thing in me as I see it. You see, my body was alright, not too thin not too fat, and the same goes with my height. In short, I should've been pretty without this ugly orbs.

I remember the day when they used to be green, beautiful emerald green eyes. Then, I used to think it is the only unique yet gorgeous thing in me but now, ever since those darn family Elders cursed me, they were long lost forgotten.

I stood up and grab my uniform of knee-length, loose, black skirt and white blouse with a little red ribbon to be tied underneath the collar. Not like those childish looking ones if that's what you're thinking.

I walked inside the bathroom and took a quick bath, changed to my uniform, went back to my mirror, fixed my hair in a half pony tail like I always do, and grabbed a pair of socks before exiting my petite by elegant room.

Oh yeah… my room.

It was nothing special. Just dirty white wallpaper with little white flowers and vines for design, a solo bed in old rose covers, my trusty mirror, a television, a mini stereo, a glass window at the other side of the room, and a bathroom with a shower and a bathtub on the other side right next to door.

Yup, nothing special…

And so I ran down the swirl of stairs and arrived at the dining table.

No one there. But I'm not surprised.

My mom and my dad goes to work early in the morning. Sometimes even before I get up. And my older brother's in college so he's in a dormitory now.

The maids brought in the breakfast and I ate just a single piece of toast, put on my black leather shoes, and headed to school on my bike. It was just a few blocks away so I didn't have to ride the bus. On the contrary, I really hated taking the bus.

I arrived ten minutes before the time like I always do. I placed some of my things on my locker and walked towards my classroom on the third floor of the building. I halted in front of room H314, which stood for Harui Hall Room 314. I enetered the room and the familiar noise of the class rang on my ears.

The truth is, I love hearing the noise. It makes me feel like I was really alive.

"Sakura-chan!" I heard the voice of my best friend call me.

Her name is Tomoyo. She has waist length, indigo hair and amethyst eyes. Unlike me, she's tall, but not lanky. She's energetic but secretive. Maybe that's what I liked about her.

I saw her running towards me, dodging some of my classmates along the way. By the looks of her face, I'll say she has something to say. She finally reached me and I forced a smile at her as soon as she sat down the empty chair beside me.

"Someone wants to talk to you outside!" she exclaimed in a loud voice, competing with the noisy surrounding.

"Dare?" I muttered tiredly, showing that I have no interest whatsoever to talk.

"You'll be surprised! C'mon!" it was all the answer she gave as she dragged me through the crowd and out of the door of the classroom.

"Hey," a familiar man's voice greeted me even before I could look up to see.

"I'll go inside okay?" Tomoyo excused herself and went back inside just when I was about to argue for her not to leave me. I know she intended to.

Since I had no more choice, I looked up slowly. I knew who it was already, no need to see the face. His voice had the familiar ring, so knew it was him. Nevertheless, I stared at his face, his amber eyes staring back at me with uneasiness and nervousness though he was putting on a confident face. He had this chestnut brown hair like no other and his well built body suite his tall image. In short, he was pretty handsome, and yet I know him… Funny…

"Um…" he started in his deep voice.

"Hai?" I replied, hoping to remove some of his nervousness. "It's weird that you wanted to talk to me," I remarked rather coldly. I didn't mean to though. I guess I just got used to the being cold thing.

Right then the loud bell rang, it was already the start of classes and he still hasn't said what he was about to. A part of me hated him for it.

"The bell… I'll go inside now," I simply told him as I begun to turn the knob.

"Aishteru…" the words rung in my ears.

I turned around, shock of what he just said. "Nani?" I asked, I wasn't just going to leave it like that, and at the back of my mind, I was hoping I simply heard it wrong. But what could he possibly have said to make it sound like it did? Still, I'm hoping.

"I said…" he started.

I held my breath.

"AISHTERU…" he said it again.

I was right. He did said he love me. And now I was nothing but shocked. For some reason I can't move, nor answer. This guy… he just said he love me… Honestly, I love him too. For years now, I do.

My heart suddenly started pumping real fast. I couldn't breathe. I knew I was becoming pale. My mind raced for an answer. But I was hesitating so much to say the right ones…

"Do you love me too?" he asked me when I took so long to answer.

I closed my eyes. Then I chuckled. For some reason, I chuckled. I let out a deep sigh and looked at him, smiling. He smiled back. Then, I turned towards the door and I gulped as hard as I could.

I finally found the right words to answer to him.

"Ie…" I whispered.

"What was that?" he asked, puzzled. Well, who wouldn't after all the laughing I did.

"I DON'T LOVE YOU…" I made the words clear as I entered the room and pushed the door close.

I hurriedly walked over to my seat. Thank God our teacher always came in late.

I recalled what I did and stared blackly into the wall right next to me. The words I don't love you came echoing back. Why did I answer that if I do love him?

Why?

Because I was scared.

I am scared.

All my life I was alone except for my friends who didn't really knew me. Opening a relationship with him just scared me. It really did. I just don't wanna get hurt more than I already am.

No…

I don't want him to get hurt… not me. I was hurting enough to last me a lifetime, and I had no intention in sharing it with him. He was the last person I wanted to share the burden I was carrying.

Honestly, I knew he loved me ever since. Weird, but I can see it through his eyes. And now that he finally found the guts to say it… I turned him down.

Oh what a liar you are… I told myself. Yet, it seemed right to admitt that I did lie. And now, I won't see him again.

Today was the last day before the recognition. He wasn't that smart to make it, so this will be the last day I'll see him. And since we're just in third year high school, you might say that we will still see each other next year right?

Well… no.

He is flying back to HongKong and he won't be studying here anymore. So technically, this is the last day.

………

Hi, I'm Kinomoto Sakura, and I blew my last chance with the one I love all because I am scared to get hurt, and to get him hurt… a coward to love. I'm fifteen years old and I live in Japan…yes, not that far from HongKong, but I can't do anything about it… this curse is holding me back… And I'm planning to keep it this way for the longest time.

I rather suffer alone…

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