I do not own Champloo. I wish I did.

Lyric used - How We Get Along by Jurassic 5. I do not own this either.

I guess I own the dirty old man. I wish I didn't !

This is my first fic ! Constructive crit always good to hear ! I hope my layout and stuff is fine, this is kinda confusing the first time through. Anyways...

Possible spoilers later on, not yet though. Set between episodes 23 and 24 ! Also, not sure on the whole ratings thing. Likely to be a bit of language knowing our boy Mugen though.

How We Get Along

What we're about to do, and to show you

is how we get along

1. O.P.P. - Other People's Problems.

Three hunched figures appeared in the distance. Dust scuffed around their feet as they trudged into yet another no-name village.

Jin took note - Much like the last village, he thought as he adjusted his glasses to the bridge of his nose. A quick look over his map showed their destination, her dream, almost a reality. Just how prepared is she to meet this man, wondered the samurai, how prepared are Mugen and I... His thoughts drifted again to the view before them.

Fuu was dreading walking down the hill into town, Why do these places all look the same ? She was even whining to herself now. The journey had taken it's toll on the young girl. She was tired, couldn't deny that, but not yet discouraged.

Spying a familiar sight, Mugen gave a silent cheer, Eh, who cares if the scenery never changes, so long as the ladies stay the same, I'm not gonna complain, he thought, already on the lookout for the local 'entertainment establishment'.

As usual, they found themselves lacking money and indeed this day, motivation to make any. Their stomachs roared in unison, but were only met with three blank stares.

"Well, I guess we better get..." Fuu's voice was suddenly drowned out by a brutish voice ahead.

"Now listen here, old man !" Noticing the three strangers approaching, he lowered his voice.

Fuu's eyes looked to the old man, darted to the overbearing man beside him and finally rested with her companions. The men rolled their eyes and took her along by an elbow each.

"This is not our problem, Fuu." Jin started walking again.

"Jin." She reasoned, "You of all people should understand !"

"Do not make eye contact, best to keep out of this." He replied, solemnly.

"Just keep walkin' ya idiot, " Mugen added, " I am not down with other people's problems."

"I agree." continued Jin.

"Now on the other hand, other people's p..."

"MUGEN !" Jin's brow twitched furiously. With this they grabbed her arms and lifted her along, legs running through air.

"Ugh, you guys are such, such...IDIOTS !" She broke free from their grasp as all three were suddenly overcome by their hunger pangs once more.

"Let's find a place to stay and see to some food", Jin started.

With much regret, Fuu began walking again, dragging her feet slowly away. Mugen nudged her along, but the young girl could not resist a look back.

"Your daughter will be in there as long as necessary." The big man was growing agitated again.

"Ahhh, there is one in town !" Mugen exclaimed, giving a quick wink to Jin. The samurai merely looked to the man beside him, then just as soon turned away. Upon further contemplation however, a slight "hmn" escaped his mouth as he absentmindedly rubbed his lower back.

"MUGEN !"

"Perhaps you should of thought of that before you allowed this to happen."

Fuu heard the words, and her pity for this unknown, but obviously endangered girl rose. "Ugh, when will this end ! We women.." She began.

"Girl, I think you're missing a few womanly assets, but do go on !" Mugen jeered, hands clasped behind his head and lopsidedly grinning.

Stifling a scream and placing both clenched fists to her hips she continued. "As I was saying, we WOMEN are not here to be used as currency ! We are worth more than a debt handed amongst worthless street toughs ! "

Fuu had not noticed the small crowd gathered around her. "Jin, Mugen ! You must help her !"

Jin tried to make off, pretending he didn't know this obviously insane girl making the scene. Mugen laughed and followed suit. "You don't even know who the hell you're trying to help, ya silly girl."

"Well, if the two of you have no compassion, then it must be me !"

She stormed off, kimono flying and Momo close behind. I am woman! She mentally willed herself on. Perhaps a little too much, as her feet fumbled nervously.

Mugen caught up to Jin. "So, how long 'till the screamin' starts then eh ?" The young men smiled, though you could barely see it on either face.

Jin turned around to see two pink, stumbling legs, "Oh, any second now, I am sure."

"Excuse me, Sir", she spoke out and raised her finger inquistively, "but I must ..." She tripped over her feet and found her arms flailing in the air.

Those arms had somehow caught themselves up in a member of the growing crowd witnessing this spectacle, revealing two swords by the hip of a man which made Jin's eyes suddenly flash. He watched as he slank back into a nearby teahouse. Jin raised an eyebrow and considered the man for a moment, then silently slipped past his exasperated companion and followed the stranger into the shadows.

The large man had left the area as soon as he saw Fuu begin her tirade. What she was now surrounded by was an old man backed up by a group of slobbering, leering young men. Slobbering and leering at her !

"Uhmm..." Fuu hadn't seen the townsfolk slowly creep back into their homes.

"Now what were you sayin', Missy?"

"Oh, I tth-tth-thought you needed some h-h-help."

"Yes ! Help ! You may be of help to me after-all."

She felt his revolting gaze burn into her as he looked her up and down. "You're a lot younger than my daughter," his eyes narrowed as he stroked his beard, "I suppose you could take her place while she is out of action..." With a flick of his finger, one of his eager goons swept up Fuu and wrapped his arms firmly over her chest in a lame attempt at keeping this crazed girl under control.

"Muuuuuuugennnnnnn !"

Looking back, Mugen saw the gang of thugs. "Ahh, fuck. Let's go." Mugen was off the mark and reaching for his sword faster than Fuu on a free dumpling. He hadn't noticed Jin was missing, and if he had he would have silently revelled in the moment a split-second longer.

Well, that's chapter one ! Hope anyone reading this found it at least mildly entertaining.