Storm clouds couldn't describe the mood Michelle was in as she stomped into the cool, grey, cemented carpark of CTU. She had just spent hours debriefing with division, having to clear up Jack's 'death' (among other things) with one Brad Hammond. By the time she was finally released from his monotonous drone, the office was practically empty, and Tony was nowhere to be found.
As she headed towards her car she fished around in her handbag for the keys. Producing nothing as she drew her hand out, she gave the bag an angry shake, and began to empty the contents onto the boot. Still unsuccessful, Michelle took a deep breath inwardly she restrained herself from her violent urges. She tried to think back to the last time she had them, and felt herself cringe as she looked towards the ignition. Sure enough, they were hanging there, almost tauntingly, where she had left them all those hours ago, when she had raced into CTU to wait for Tony to come back to her, after she had been informed that he was still alive.
The car being locked was the last straw. Michelle let her rage get the better of her; she began yell at the car for being a "stupid self locking vehicle" (among other profanities), only stopping as the sound of laughter reached her ears. She whirled around to find Tony leaning against the side of his own SVU, arms crossed, watching her with a very amused expression on his face.
"Don't you laugh at me Almeida" she glared at him.
"Its not my fault you're amusing when you're pissed off" He grinned "Now, are you going to continue to abuse your car, or shall I give you a lift home?… you can deal with it tomorrow"
Half an hour later they were pulling up into the driveway of their old house, which now belonged to Michelle. Tony, always the gentleman, walked her to the door, and watched her retrieve the spare key from the usual pot plant, before finally pulling her into a bear hug.
"I'll let you get some sleep ok? I'll call you tomorrow so we can talk… properly" he said, emphasizing the last word so that she knew exactly whatit would be consisting of.
"Tony… I… well I don't want... I don't want to be alone in this house tonight. All I'm going to see is that car exploding, and I need you there to know that you're not... well you know…"
"Alright, I get the picture…but until we talk, I'm gunna sleep in the spare bedroom" He replied, with slight regret "we're gunna do this properly… ok?"
"But the spare bed doesn't have any pillows at the moment" she said, grasping onto straws.
"Chelle, im serious. This is important to me, and to our relationship.
"Fine" Michelle mumbled, feeling slightly disappointed but knowing better then to push her luck.
Hours later Michelle was tossing alone in her bed. She had slept a little in the beginning, but had since woken from nightmares. Feeling very lonely all of a sudden, she crawled out of bed and walked to her door, before pausing. Shaking her head and asking herself what she was doing, she tiptoed back to her bed and sat down, her mind racing. She didn't understand why she felt so nervous, after all it was only Tony, the Tony she had loved from first sight, the Tony that she had been married to for a couple of years. But yet there was a stampede of elephants stomping around in her stomach at the mere thought of going to him.
Finally, after sitting in an absolute terrified silence for what seemed like years, Michelle managed to banish her fears just enough to be able to stand up walk past her own door and across the hall to the door of the spare room. It was there that she again paused, listening to his deep breathing, before turning back and running back into the safety of her domain again. Scolding herself for acting like an immature schoolgirl, she turned around once more and walked confidently across the hall and into Tony's room.
Michelle smiled to herself as she saw Tony asleep on his back, his usual position. As quietly as possible she crept up to the bed and slid between the sheets, before finding her final resting spot by placing her head on his chest. Tony stirred and moved his arms around her, drawing her closer to him. She grinned as she realised that the saying was true: old habits do die hard.
The next morning, Tony was woken by pain of his stomach growling with hunger. Feeling slightly confused about his whereabouts, he took a few seconds for his eyes to focus on the ceiling. He couldn't help but smile as it finally dawned on him that he was at Michelle's house, but confusion took over once more as he tried to get out of bed. He finally looked down at his chest and discovered what was weighing him down. Shaking his head with amusement, he poked the sleeping bundle, before attempting to gently roll her off him. Michelle awoke and looked up at him, mumbling something that sounded distinctly like a "hi". Tony raised his eyebrows up at her.
" What happened to our agreement?" He asked, trying to sound irritated.
"Well…" she trailed off coyly, circling her fingers around his chest.
"Does this mean I'm forgiven?"
Michelle sat up at this question. After getting comfortable by crossing her legs, she turned to face him. It seemed as though the moment had come at last.
"Well... you're on the right path to it, but you can't expect me to forgive you… or myself instantly. I…I just need time, I guess."
"Forgive yourself for what?" Tony asked with effort as he pushed himself up, leaning against the bed head. "You tried to make it work, but I pushed you away, I made a new relationship with alcohol. I can understand why you finally gave up, I just wish you hadn't"
" I know, but I shouldn't have, I should have stayed with you, I should have tried to take away the pain. You chose me over the nation, you went to jail for me, but I couldn't even stay with you during those tough times. I feel likesuch a coward, i meaneven yesterday, I nearly lost you because I couldn't do what you did for me. I was too scared to betray…"
"Hey, we do what we have to do" he interrupted "the important thing is that we are here together, right now. And nothing can change that. But I have to ask, why did you finally leave, like, what was the straw that broke the camels back?"
Michelle looked down at her hands, trying to hide the tears that were rapidly forming. After what seemed like an eternity, she answered in a small voice "I thought you hated me"
"You thought WHAT?… Oh Chelle, I could NEVER hate you" Tony reached out and tilted her head up so that she had no choice but to look him in the eyes, and into his soul.
" I know it seems stupid now, but at the time it really seemed like it. I thought that you resented me for being the reason that you were put in jail. I thought that's why you began to reject me, it was like you stopped caring for me,"
" Oh Chelle, how could you think that?" he asked wiping away an escaped tear with his thumb " I love you. Always have, and I always will. And I certainly don't regret choosing you over the country. Without you, there is no country, noworld as far as I'm concerned. It's just that you have to understand that it was hard in prison. I saw a lot of stuff that no one should have to see, and I did things in there that I'm not proud of. I had to be tough to make it through, and to make it back to you. Then when I came out, I was haunted by the memories. I was so ashamed, and I thought if I let you in, you'd be scared of the person I'd become that's why I drank so much; I wanted to forget it all."
Tony reached over and pulled her awkwardly into his lap, wiped away a few more stray tears and kissed her gently on the cheek before managing to get up the courage to start on the next sensitive topic.
" Chelle, I have to tell you something about Jen."
"Her full name and social security number?" she asked a little to hopefully.
"No sweetheart, you're not gunna kill her" he laughed. "It's just that I need you to know that the thing I had going with her was superficial. She may have been there when I needed help to pick up the pieces of your leaving, but I can assure you that I don't love her, hell I don't even like her that much. She's so scary sometimes that she reminds me of my old military matron. I mean the woman orders her clothes by colour" he shuddered at the thought.
"If she's a military matron, what do you think I am?" Michelle managed to say through fits of laughter.
"'It's a secret!"
"Ohh come on, tell me" she begged, her curiosity rising as he shook his head. She tried to ask again, but was silenced by him gently kissing her on the lips. She smiled as he broke away, and threw her arms around his neck. "I'll get over Jen eventually" she mumbled into his ear "as long as you promise never to see her again…
He pulled her closer to him and kissed her again, but this time it was a deeper, more passionate kiss that seemed to go on for hours, neither wanting to break it. It only ended when they were interrupted by Tony's cell.
"Uh oh…" he winced, mentally preparing himself for what was to come.
"It's the matron"