Evening! It's just gone 9pm, I'm having a very late dinner of fish fingers, chips, and beans because I need comfort food. Sometimes, I just have to eat what I'm craving (and no, I'm not pregnant LOL!)

It's been a crazy day here, trying to sort out my stock, talking my mum through how to set up her new Macbook (She's a Windows girl) and her new external hard drive. Doing that over the phone is horrendous!

November 25th, 1843

...

Isabella Swan

"And you promise to be on your best behavior for Betsy so she will not have to write to me or go to Lord Cullen?" I stressed again as I adjusted Charles's shirt collar while I stood by the main entrance to the large house.

"I promise to be good for Betsy and you know we have to call him Carlisle," he grinned as I clicked my tongue at him.

Lord Cullen, or Carlisle, as he liked to stress at every given moment, had become a firm fixture in our lives as the work on the farm picked up. He made it his personal pet project and Lady Cullen, or Esme, as she urged me to call her, made us her personal project.

After a week or two of them coming by the farm, it had become second nature to just close my eyes and give way to their plans. How I ever thought that I could fight them on anything, I would never know, but it was just easier to grin and bear it with a gracious smile and gritted teeth.

I knew they meant well, I really did, but it just was not in my nature to have anyone do something for me. I had done so much myself, and had been responsible for so much, I did not know how to give in to others.

"Isabella, the carriage is ready," Esme hinted as she waited by the door.

I let out a nervous, shuddering breath and patted down the front of my skirt as I turned to face her.

"I am still not comfortable with this, Esme," I whispered.

"The vicar was quite right in thinking about this situation, Isabella," she replied firmly, but with a kind smile as I thought over what had happened this week.

As I gave Charles one last kiss goodbye and walked to the carriage, I thought of the day that Edward had left.

In the afternoon of that day, long after Esme had gone home, the local vicar had come for a visit. He was a softly spoken man with a nice and gentle wife and young daughter. I was not surprised that he would visit because of the passing of Mamma and what I had on my shoulders, but I was surprised by the end of the visit.

Never one to lie, I told him how hard things were and how Lord and Lady Cullen were helping me, and it was he who made the suggestion that turned everything on its end.
I was not one for complaining, but I did hint at how hard it was to be in full mourning when I had to make visits to the village, and of course, into town if I were to follow Lord Cullen's plans. I did not make the hint to escape mourning, not in the least. I just felt terrible that I was doing things that would be seen as disrespectful. After I poured a little of my heart out to him, all the vicar did was smile at me for a time.

After we had checked on Charles and had finished our tea, he spoke quietly and reverently.

"I do not think that if you went into half mourning, it would be such a bad idea. We all know how much you loved your dear mamma and being in white or black would not change that, Isabella. I do think that maybe it is time for lilacs and lavenders to be worn, if you are respectful to the passing of your mamma. I am not condoning anything else for a while, or a few months at least, but I think that by Candlemas, you may do away with mourning clothes altogether, how is that?" He hedged with a smile, and I was shocked.

It was decided there and then that he would pay a quick visit with Lord and Lady Cullen to convey the news and ask whether Lady Cullen would help me in securing a lavender dress or two.

Not two hours later Esme had come to my door with a huge smile and a carriage.

"I hear that things have changed at the Swan household, and I have been informed to bring you and Charles back home for a quiet and subdued celebration," she laughed lightly as my eyes widened.

"Esme, I do not think the vicar would condone such a thing, it would be almost celebrating seeing the back of poor mamma," I tried not chastising her in my tone, but I could not help it.

"I did not mean it like that, Isabella, I was humoring you. The vicar and I spoke at length and he is aware of your visits to our home. He is in support of your visits and is happy to know that you and young Charles are cared for," she replied softly.

"I am sorry, I am so out of sorts today, I was not expecting our discussion to turn the way it did," I said as I stepped to the side of the door so she could come in.

"I have long known that it is acceptable for a man or a woman to shorten the length of mourning if other issues influence it. A man cannot earn a living if he is in mourning, so it is perfectly acceptable for him to adjust to what works and it is the same for women. Children are normally expected to mourn for a parent for at least a year, but you live as though you are a parent, and you work full time with the house and the farm, so it is expected for you to shorten your time in mourning," she soothed as she sat down in the kitchen.

"The vicar said that by Candlemas, I could come out of mourning altogether, is that true?" I asked, trying to hide a little enthusiasm.

"It is, and by then I know of someone else who would be happy to hear the news," she grinned as I blushed.

"Oh! I did not think of that," I replied honestly.

As soon as Esme had called Charles in from the fields and arranged some details with Emmett, we were in her carriage and on our way to the house. I was less nervous now of being in it, but it still worried me when it came to Charles. He really was such a good boy, but he was still but a child.

"Is Lotty there with Henry?" he asked with a smile as the carriage rattled its way along the road.

I found it sweet that he had a special name for her and she for him. She often called him Charlie when they were together, and they were a right pair. They always included Henry in all of their plans and games, but the pair of them had a special bond.

"She is and I think she wants to see if she can find some fairies today in the garden, would you like to help her?" Esme cut in with a laugh as Charles nodded his head enthusiastically.

Once the carriage had stopped and Charles was out, we made our way inside, but instead of heading to the sitting room, Esme directed us to go up the stairs.

"We need to find you a lavender dress amongst everything that I have. If we had time, I would have a seamstress come in and work with the fabric I have, but we do not. We have to be in town on Friday and we just do not have the time," she said quietly, and I stopped on one step of the stairs.

"Town?" I spluttered out.

I did hope that I had heard her wrong, but the smile on her face erased those hopes.

"Carlisle is needing to go to town to acquire some supplies and provisions and has asked us both to travel with him. He was rather hoping that you would want to see the markets and shops so you can get an idea for the farm."

"But how can I do that? I have a farm to run, I have no clothes and I do not want to take Charles to town, I would lose him, or it would scare him, he has never seen so many people and machinery!" I all but wailed as I tried to pull away from her arm.

"Calm yourself, Isabella. Emmett can care for the farm for a few days and Charles would be happy to stay here with the children. The only real concern I have is your wardrobe, so let's remedy that now," she said soothingly.

And that is how I found myself climbing into the large and opulent carriage, in a beautiful lilac dress and giving Charles a tearful wave from the window.

Carlisle was heading to town on his horse, and it would just be myself, Esme and a maid, Hannah, travelling together.

"Isabella, we have a long way to travel, you do not have to sit so rigidly," Esme smiled at me, and I wanted to roll my eyes.

"I am finding it difficult not to, with such a painful and restricting corset on," I grumbled, making her laugh a little.

"Isabella, if things go the way I wish them to, you will have to get used to them," she grinned, making poor Hannaha blush.

"I might have to get used to them, as you say, but it does not mean that I will ever like them," I grouched, but let a small smile appear to appease her.

Sometimes Isabella needs a little push in the right direction, but she still has her stubbornness, too.

Up next... Isabella and Esme :)