A Fairytale Disaster
Courtesy of SilverWolf7007
Chapter Two – Quadruple Homicide
Harry, Neville, Seamus and Dean didn't manage to return to the dorms until well past midnight, and even Hermione, Ron and Ginny had given up waiting for them.
The four of them silently made their way up the stairs, where Neville opened their door and led them inside. The sound of Ron's snoring and muttering filled their ears.
Feeling somewhat bitter that his best friend had obviously been asleep for a while and had no part in the 'Evil Play of Doom' (as they had dubbed it before leaving Dumbledore's office), Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at him.
Realising what Harry intended to do; Dean grabbed his hand and pulled it back down. "No, Harry," he whispered.
"Why not?" Harry hissed petulantly. "It'll be funny."
Seamus rolled his eyes and took Harry's wand. "Yes, funny fun that will cause Ron to scream, shout, complain, whine…he'll wake up the whole bloody house and once they're all pissed off with us Ron will keep us awake for hours more."
Harry sighed mournfully. "All right," he allowed. "I'll annoy the crap out of him tomorrow."
Neville grinned. "That's the spirit, boyo!"
"And we'll even help you out," Dean agreed, letting go of his friend's wrist.
"We shall have fun," Seamus declared quietly, handing Harry back his wand. "And we'll gang up with Parvati against him, Lavender and Hermione, too."
Dean eyed him warily. "Are you insane, Seamus?" he asked mildly, knowing the answer.
"Of course," Seamus said with a grin. "Look, we'll be careful with 'Mione and Lav. But Ron…"
Still grinning deviously, all four boys made their ways to their beds and quickly changed before finally, thankfully, sliding into bed.
The next morning, Harry was woken up at a disgustingly early time by Ron's alarm. He looked up and treated the small round blue ball that was beeping loudly to a Death Glare. Glancing around the dorm, he saw Seamus and Neville doing the exact same thing.
Ron muttered in his sleep and rolled away from the alarm towards the wall. Dean simply slept on.
Harry rolled his eyes and slowly pulled himself into a sitting position. "Morning Nev, Seamus. One of you poke Dean awake, would you?"
Grinning evilly, Seamus jumped out of bed, ran across the room and launched himself onto Dean.
Dean awoke with a yelp. He looked up at where his best friend was now perched on his chest and groaned. "Get off me, Finnigan," he growled.
With a laugh, Seamus climbed off the other boy's bed and moved over to Ron's. "Sorry Dean, but you slept through Ron's evil alarm of doom. Harry told me to wake you, so we can…wake him."
Sighing, Dean slid out of bed and stood beside Seamus, looking down at Ron. Neville joined them.
A few seconds later they realised that Harry wasn't with them. They all looked towards his bed, and saw him sitting on it using a pocketknife to pry the front off Ron's alarm.
Feeling their stares, he looked up, just as the front came loose. The beeping stopped. His murderous glare and twitching eye transformed into a smile in relief. "Any more time listening to that bloody beeping was going to lead me to quadruple homicide," he explained.
Looking a little nervous after Harry's explanation, Neville spoke up. "Are we going to wake Ron, then?" he asked.
The other three conscious boys in the room silently decided that the expression Harry had had for Ron's alarm had been positively sane compared to the manic gleam in his eyes now.
Had Fred and George seen him at that moment, they would have said he reminded them of Oliver planning a Quidditch match. Had Oliver seen him, he would have said that he reminded him of the twins planning a prank.
Harry was not planning. He was plotting. Hermione had once tried to explain that there was no difference. Harry had explained the difference, and even Hermione had not been able to fault his logic.
He had argued that planning something sounded like one was organising a party, while plotting sounded far more sinister. It was, he had continued, like comparing lurking, loitering and lounging. Loitering sounded like wasting time, lounging sounded like lying around relaxing, and lurking sounded like standing sinisterly in the shadows.
Ron had then pointed out that Harry tended to lurk sinisterly in the back of the library plotting sinister things. No one had disagreed.
Neville, Dean and Seamus had seen that gleam in Harry's eyes many times before.
Seamus grinned. "What are you plotting?" he asked, leaning forward eagerly.
Harry gestured for the three of them to come closer. They did so, and he explained his plan.
A few minutes of quiet evil laugher after that, they all moved closer to Ron's bed, standing around it and holding out their wands.
They conjured their weapons.
Harry held up his left hand, fingers up. One dropped. A second followed.
A third.
The boys looked between Ron and the five balloons hovering above his bed.
The fourth.
Dean carefully flicked his wand and removed the blankets from Ron. The redhead was a heavy sleeper, and continued to snore, sprawled on his back.
The fifth.
Four balloons dropped, and the boys jumped backwards and threw themselves to the floor to avoid being splashed.
With a shriek, Ron shot to his feet and leaped away from his bed.
Harry, Dean, Seamus and Neville stood up, smirking, to admire their handiwork.
Ron looked at the four of them, glaring. The effect of this was ruined by the piece of Harry's green balloon that was stuck just above his left eye.
He was no longer a redhead. Harry's balloon, which had been positioned above his head, had been filled with green dye. Seamus's had been on his left side, and had turned his arm magenta, as well as splashing some onto his mostly green face. Dean's was orange, colouring his right arm and also splashing a small amount onto his face. Neville's balloon, which had been over Ron's legs and feet, had been dark blue.
Happily, Harry popped the fifth balloon, covering them all in red glitter.
Seamus eyed him. "You weren't supposed to get us, Har."
He shrugged sheepishly. "Oops?"
Once all five boys were dressed, they headed to the Great Hall, Dean grabbing the four scripts on the way out.
They caught up to Hermione, Parvati and Lavender in the Entrance Hall. The three girls smiled and greeted the boys…until they saw the still glowering Ron trying to hide behind them all. Their jaws dropped.
While Lavender and Parvati were still staring, Hermione whirled on Harry, who was trying to look innocent and thusly looking very guilty. "What did you do?" she demanded angrily, obviously not enjoying her boyfriend's colourful new look.
He gave her a mournful look. "I'm so sorry, Hermione, we woke up and he was just like this. We tried to help him, I swear, but it simply didn't work…"
She glared. "Harry," she said warningly.
Sighing, he gave in and grinned triumphantly. "I'm afraid, Miss Granger, that we, that is, Ron's dorm mates, were highly offended when we arrived back and realised that not only had Ron got at least two or three more hours of sleep than we would, he had also escaped Dumbledore's drafting. We found that we simply couldn't control ourselves in the circumstances."
"I can't work under these conditions!" Seamus shrieked suddenly.
Harry eyed him warily. "Take it easy, Finnigan, it'll creep up on you like that."
"What will?" Lavender asked, finally tearing her gaze away from Ron.
"Harry's insanity, of course," Neville told her, giving her a look that suggested it was common knowledge (it was, but only to Harry, his dorm mates, and for some reason, Blaise, Draco and Luna).
"Harry is insane?" Parvati questioned, voice somewhat faint.
"Indeed I am," Harry replied. "What rock have you been living under?"
Hermione cleared her throat, and the other seven all looked at her. She sighed. "Let's go eat breakfast, shall we? Then we have class."
They entered the Great Hall and sat down as they thought on Hermione's sentence.
As one, Harry, Dean, Neville, Seamus and Parvati groaned.
Ron raised his alternately magenta and orange eyebrows. "What? Suddenly realise we have Potions after breakfast?"
The five of them suddenly looked more cheerful, then Harry groaned again. "Good luck with that," he told his best friend. Ron's confused look prompted him to continue. "We five have the privilege of staying here after breakfast to begin rehearsing for this spawn of evil play."
"Lucky for you, Malfoy and Zabini are as well," Neville added. "Snape will probably be pissed to have lost his best students, aside from 'Mione, that is. But on the plus side again, he's probably thrilled that Harry and I wont be there."
Hermione seemed torn between sympathy for her friends and joy at the thought of a smaller potions class and Snape in a (relatively) good mood. "Well, it can't be that bad, can it?" she tried.
Silently, Harry took his script from Dean and held it so she could see the title. He then opened it to the list of cast, where he had penned in the names of who would be playing which part.
Her jaw dropped in horror. "Oh dear," she sighed sadly. "There really isn't any way for this to seem better, is there? Not to mention no way it could get wor – rmph!" She glared at Seamus, who had placed his hand over her mouth and was shaking his head frantically. She looked further and saw the panic in Harry, Dean and Neville's eyes. "Mrph?" she asked.
They blinked incomprehensively. She rolled her eyes and gestured to Seamus's hand. He smiled sheepishly and moved it away. "What?" she repeated indignantly.
"Don't say it," Dean advised her. "If you say it, then some way for it to get worse will happen."
"What were you thinking?" Neville demanded.
She looked at them with wide eyes. "I don't think its just Seamus contracting this insanity of Harry's. I think that it's your entire dorm, but somehow Ron has an immunity."
Ron gave her a relieved look. "Thanks 'Mione."
She shrugged, and then finally noticed what the time was. "We have to go!" she exclaimed in shock. "Potions will start in a few minutes!" Glancing around the hall, she noticed it was nearly empty. "How did I not notice that?"
Looking equally as panicked, Ron and Lavender grabbed their bags and stood up. The three of them looked down at their five friends sympathetically. "Good luck," Hermione told them. Lavender nodded.
"You'll probably need it," Ron said dryly.
The three of them left.
Once they had left, Blaise, Draco and Luna joined them from their own tables. They were quickly followed by Justin, Hannah and Padma, who sat with Parvati a few seats down the table.
"I have decided that I shall commit that homicide after all," Harry announced to the world in general.
Seamus gulped. "The, uh, quadruple homicide?" he asked nervously. "Well, triple homicide, now Ron's gone."
Harry glared at him in irritation. "Of course not, you idiot. Why would I kill my friends?" He sighed. "I merely meant homicide in general, and I was referring to the Headmaster. And perhaps I will make it quadruple homicide, and add Fudge, Voldemort and Remus to that list."
"What did Moony ever do to you?" Sirius demanded as he walked up behind them.
"Nothing," Harry said with a shrug. "But he escaped the play. Maybe I should say Snape instead, because I actually like Moony, on a good day."
"You have good days?" Blaise asked in surprise.
Dean snorted. "For Harry, this is a good day."
"We don't mean as in, a good day," Seamus tried to explain to the confused Slytherins, Ravenclaw and godfather. "We just mean a day where Harry isn't physically trying to kill people."
Suddenly understanding, Draco nodded. "I always have to hold him down in his seat in Potions," he revealed. "I just thought the dungeons drove him homicidal."
"Nope, it comes naturally," Harry said cheerfully.
Before they could delve any further into the mind of Harry Potter (and thusly join him in insanity), Dumbledore arrived with the rest of his victims – er, cast. They quickly joined them at the Gryffindor Table, and Dumbledore conjured himself a chair at the head of the table.
"So," he began genially, eyes twinkling. "Has everyone had a read of their script?"
There was silence, and a few people shook their heads.
Dumbledore looked a little sad, but his eyes kept the twinkle.
Harry was having the urge to start throwing cutlery, but right then it all vanished, as though the house elves had heard his thoughts.
"Oh well. We shall just have to start from a little further behind than I expected." They all eyed him warily. "Please begin by silently reading the script."
Silently, the entire cast of 'Cinderella Rides Again' complied.
There were several indignant mutters, a few growls, and a whimper or two. Parvati, Padma, Hannah and Justin sighed in relief.
Once he was at the end, Harry sighed in relief himself, hearing Draco do the same beside him. No, there were no onstage kisses.
When Dumbledore realised that everyone had finished their reading, he smiled at them all. "Now, does anyone have any questions?"
Slowly, Harry nodded. "Yes. If I wanted to insert a line, or say something a little differently…could I do that?"
Dumbledore's twinkle seemed to grow. "Of course, Harry! Just don't completely change the storyline, and try to stick to what's in the script." He smiled brightly. "After all, I had to adjust things to make more sense to your audience. It was a Muggle play, and I reworked things to sound more wizardly."
"Hence Buckbeak, Quidditch, broomsticks, and other such things?" Oliver asked.
"Exactly, dear boy!" Dumbledore looked delighted, and Harry was somewhat worried that the Twinkle was going to escape and take on it's own destructive lifestyle. "Now, I think we should move on to a read-through of the script, don't you?"
He received some vague shrugs and took them as a resounding yes. He conjured a circle of chairs in the space between the Staff Table and the House Tables.
"Now, Luna, our dear Narrator, why don't you sit over here. Harry, as Cinderella, can sit at your left. Draco, you're Prince Moth, so perhaps you should take the seat on Luna's other side. Ugly Stepsisters?"
Seamus and Dean glared.
"Come and sit on Harry's side."
They stood up walked over. Seamus dropped into the chair next to Harry, and Dean sat next to him.
"This sucks. This really, really sucks," said Sirius as he sat on Dean's other side. "Why did I end up as a Fairy Godfather?"
Trying his hardest not to collapse to the floor in laughter, Harry shrugged. "Maybe because you're my real Godfather?"
Sirius glared at his logic as the seats around them filled. Because they had no speaking roles, Justin, Parvati, Padma and Hannah were still sitting at the Gryffindor Table, waiting for the reading to begin.
"Why don't we get started?" Dumbledore suggested, Twinkle twinkling.
With a sigh, Luna opened her script to the first page and began to read. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to a few minutes of culture. This is a love story that compares with the big ones of our time – like Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, and yes, Hagrid and Norbert. If you find yourself overcome with emotion, please use your own hanky to blow your nose…"
The Twinkle gained it's own capital letter for being so damned evil…scary, no?
KittenRebecca – I just couldn't help myself, 'course Harry was gonna be Cindy…Thanks. And yes, Dumbledore is ASKING FOR IT.
I Love To Laugh (Hahahaha – Thanks! And hang on, I had description? Wow, yay me…description is my bad point, I tend to deteriorate into dialogue.
LoonyLoopyLisa – Yes, I finally did…you're patient for sticking with me. Really, I think Harry will make a good Cinderella, I don't see why he wont believe me…Well, I'll update this one, and I'm trying to update the rest, and since its summer hols I should be able to do quite a bit.
ReginaLucifer – Aw, thanks! Glad you like it! And the Twinkle is evil. It must suffer. Maybe Harry can make it vanish…hm…
Black-Rose1243 – Thanks, and yep, Harry is…
m – Thanks. Your sis would want to see it? Well, I guess I can understand, as long as I'm not acting in it I'd want to see it too…
Samara Morgan-Ring – More it is then! Thanks!
bitterchoco – Well, Prince, but not Prince Charming exactly…And yes, you're right about Siri. Wait no longer, here it is.
Shocked – Indeed he is.
henriette – Thank you so much! Yes, Draco's the Prince, I wouldn't have it any other way…
Sapphire Dragons – Well, I hope you love it. And with any luck, you wont choke on any more candy canes. I did that recently…not fun.
quicksilver fox – Thanks! Well, I think I continued in the same style, and there were murderous tendencies…so hopefully it was just as fun.
Thanks so much, guys. I adore getting feedback, its nice to know that someone appreciates what I write.
Please review!
S. Wolf