A Fairytale Disaster
Courtesy of SilverWolf7007
Chapter Three – Lunchtime, Free Glitter Included
Once the read-through was done, every cast member looked even more reluctant than before as they rejoined the Gryffindor Table.
Dumbledore, on the other hand, looked delighted, and the Twinkle was trying to conquer his pupils. "Well done!" he exclaimed joyfully, ignoring the sixteen mutinous glares he was receiving. He was also ignoring the sinister glint in Harry's eyes that accompanied a faint smirk (this would later prove to be a dire mistake). "You all spoke your parts wonderfully! Of course, there is some improvement to be done, there always is after a first read-through."
"What are we going to do now?" Tonks asked, a hint of fear in her voice.
Not seeming to notice the trepidation of his cast, Dumbledore let his eyes Twinkle at them menacingly. "Well, first we shall join the rest of the school for lunch." There were a few sighs of relief. "Then after the meal is over, we shall discuss our costumes."
Before anyone had the chance to protest, or even squeak in terror, Dumbledore stood up and retreated to the Staff Table.
McGonagall sighed. "Well, I suppose if I go after him I can try to talk him out of it."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You really think so? Didn't you try to do that when he came up with the idea? And this morning at breakfast?"
The Deputy-Headmistress shrugged. "Yes, but perhaps this time it will work. With any luck." She stood and joined the Headmaster.
A few first and second years trickled into the room, followed by Flitwick.
Hannah stood up. "Well, I guess I'll see you all after lunch," she sighed. "C'mon Justin." He followed her over to the Hufflepuff Table.
Padma looked to Luna. "Are you coming?"
"No, I don't think so," the blonde girl replied. "I'm going to eat here."
Shrugging, Padma turned to her twin. "Parv? Care to join me?"
"Sure." They left for the Ravenclaw Table.
Harry turned to Blaise and Draco. "And you two?"
Draco grinned. "I think I'll eat here as well. Always fun to stir up trouble among the Griffs."
Laughing, Blaise nodded. "Just for that, I think I'll stick with you."
Dean turned to the twins, Oliver, Tonks and Sirius. "Are you lot leaving us, or eating with us?"
"I'm staying," Sirius answered. "It's either eat here with you guys, or eat up at the Staff Table with Remus and Snape. Those two haven't been able to keep a straight face since I was conscripted for Dumbledore's strange torture. Sadistic bastards…no wonder you and Moony get along so well, Har."
"Doesn't explain why he and Snape can't stand each other, though," Oliver added. "And I am definitely staying here. Staff Table is far too creepy, I mean, I only graduated a few years ago!"
Fred and George both nodded fervently. Tonks grinned. "I'm sticking with you guys too. McGonagall would be my only ally up there, and its just too scary."
Harry was glaring at Dumbledore, eye twitching slightly. His roommates were immediately reminded of his expression that morning when he'd been killing Ron's alarm. They gulped silently.
Noticing both Harry's expression and Seamus, Dean and Neville's nervousness, Draco and Blaise frowned.
"What's up?" the blond asked, eyebrow raised.
Quietly, out of Harry's hearing, Seamus whispered the whole story to the two Slytherins. Luna was listening as well, and when Seamus finished, she decided to distract Harry from any homicidal urgings he was having. "Hey Har, you've got glitter in your hair. Is that from what you did to Ron this morning?"
Harry grinned proudly, turning away from his aged silver-haired nemesis "Yep. Although, the guys didn't seem to appreciate it when it got us as well as Ron."
"Can't imagine why," Luna said, honestly confused.
Realising that she had a similar opinion of glitter as he himself did, he sighed. "I know, I know." Conjuring a balloon, he hovered it over her head. "Care for some?"
She nodded eagerly. Draco, having heard the entire exchange, leaned over slightly. "Me too?" he asked hopefully.
Harry smirked. "'Course, Dray, always happy to cover someone in glitter…"
Groaning, Neville, Dean and Seamus stood and moved a few seats down the table. Sirius merely moved closer as Tonks and the twins followed Harry's dorm mates.
A few seconds passed. Sirius eyed his godson. "Are you gonna pop that thing or not?"
Grinning mysteriously, Harry put his finger to his lips and shook his head, then tilted it towards the doors as he dropped his hand.
Seeing what he had seen, Sirius smirked.
A few more seconds passed, and then Harry sensed that someone was behind him. He turned around and faked his surprise. "Professor Lupin! Professor Snape! You startled me." He raised an eyebrow. "Anything I can help you with?"
Snape rolled his eyes and turned to Draco and Blaise. "What on earth are you two doing sitting here?"
The two Slytherins exchanged a glance, and then answered together. "Stirring up trouble, sir."
Remus turned from the three Slytherins and smiled at Harry. "I hear you've been conscripted by Dumbledore," he said casually. "What role are you playing?"
Harry didn't answer. Luna saw him flick his wand…and then they were all covered in green glitter. "I'd prefer not to say, Moony," he said coolly.
The two of them normally got on brilliantly, as Sirius had observed before. Remus blinked in surprise. "All right, Har." Then he blinked. "Er, Harry?"
He smiled sweetly. "Yes Moony?"
"Did you just pop a glitter-balloon?"
"Yes Moony."
"Why?"
"Because it's fun, Moony."
Remus blinked again. He grinned and conjured a second balloon, popping it and releasing silver glitter onto them all.
Snape sighed. "If you hadn't just covered me in Slytherin glitter, I would probably have to become violent right about now. I've had a bloody awful morning."
Harry also sighed. "Welcome to the club. We're not as small or exclusive as we used to be, I'm afraid, but membership is free. What happened?"
Ignoring the fact that the concerned listener he was talking to was also his most detested student, Snape sat down. "Weasley blew up three cauldrons, Granger was a know-it-all, Bulstrode, Parkinson and Brown spent the entire lesson giggling over magazines, Crabbe and Goyle blew up a cauldron each and messed up their note-taking…and Nott just kept staring at me!"
"Well, I can explain that part," Harry told him, patting his shoulder sympathetically. "Jason Nott has a tendency to stare at people in order to creep them out. He's actually quite good at it, and he's been trying to do it to me in Potions since Halloween. I guess he substituted you because I was absent."
Blaise frowned. "Did you crack, Professor?"
"No, I did not. I think he was disappointed."
Draco grinned victoriously. "Indeed he was. I told him he wouldn't crack you in a morning lesson. He owes me ten Galleons."
Snape groaned. "Must you encourage the insanity of the less stable students, Draco?"
The blond considered the question for a minute. "You know," he replied thoughtfully. "I think I actually do."
Harry flicked his wand and a small piece of green cloth with a picture of Draco appeared at the end of it. He waved it half-heartedly.
Luna eyed him. "I like that, Har. Mind if I borrow the idea next time I want to creep Ron out?"
"Go ahead," Harry allowed, still waving his own. "As long as you have reason. I myself, as one of the aforementioned less stable students, feel the need to advocate Draco's wish to encourage myself and those like me, such as Seamus."
"What exactly is it?" Snape asked him, giving the flag a distasteful glance.
Harry grinned brightly. "A happy flag!"
Sirius blinked. "A what?"
With a laugh, Harry answered him. "It is, my dear Padfoot, a flag that one conjures when one wishes to mockingly, sarcastically, or occasionally seriously wave it when information comes to light that is either displeasing or amusing."
Snape stood up. "Well, this has been an…interesting experience, if nothing else. I am now going to return to the Staff Table where I shall comfort myself with the thought that at least I didn't get dragged into this damned play, and eat my lunch before having to deal with Hufflepuff first years."
Remus winced. "Ooh, harsh. That class…well, I don't like to speak ill of the students, but that lot? I pity you, Severus."
"Thank you," the Potions Master replied dryly. "Are you coming?"
"Yes, I think I will. Good luck after lunch, you lot. I caught a glimpse of the costumes that Dumbledore was getting ready this morning…I saw something pink, something glittery…and balloons, of all things." He shrugged in confusion. "I cant imagine why…well, see you at dinner."
The two professors walked away, and as they did, the cast caught a snippet of conversation.
"What do you think Dumbledore has the balloons for, Severus?"
"If I know him as well as I think I do, I imagine that he probably has a few cross-dressing cast members…if only we knew what the play was!"
Seamus and Dean, after having scooted closer once the glitter had been popped, shared a terrified glance with each other, then again with Sirius and Harry.
"That sounds bad," Neville said in an undertone. "Don't you think he could have, I don't know, used a spell at least?"
As one of the cross-dressing roles, Harry sighed. "I don't know which I'd have preferred."
"But of course, had he used a spell, he might have forgotten to remove it," Draco suggested. "Balloons, if nothing else, save you from the old fool's declining memory."
They contemplated this for a few minutes. But just as Draco was pulling Harry back into his seat and telling him that hexing the headmaster on the suggestion of a possibility would be frowned upon, the sixth year Potions class finally arrived in the Great Hall.
Ron, Hermione and Lavender headed towards the Gryffindor Table, but as she saw Parvati and Padma waving at her, Lavender veered off and joined them at the Ravenclaw Table.
Hermione sat down across from Harry, pulling Ron into the seat next to her. The two of them stared.
Draco, Blaise, Luna, Sirius, Tonks, Oliver, Fred and George stared back – well, mainly at Ron.
Blaise broke the silence. "My god Weasley, what happened to you? I wasn't sure I was seeing correctly this morning, and now…it's brilliant!" He turned to Harry, Seamus, Dean and Neville. "I want to learn from you, oh great ones."
"We shall see, my devoted fan, we shall see," Dean told him haughtily.
Tonks overcame her own shock enough to change her hair and eyebrows to match Ron's. "You look great, Weasley, really…though I don't know about the green skin."
Ron glared at her for a few minutes, and then finally managed to regain his voice. "Harry, what the hell are those two Slytherins doing at our table?"
Harry sighed, giving Ron a patient glare. "Now really, Ron, I'd have thought you'd recognise people eating lunch if you saw them."
"Harry," Hermione said warningly. "Please?"
He sighed. "Oh all right. But only because you asked nicely, Hermione. They are eating lunch." She glared, and he held up his hands. "All right, all right! Bloody hell woman, give me a break – ow! Not a literal one!" He reached down and rubbed his shin. "Blaise and Draco are here because they couldn't be bothered walking all the way across the Hall for one little meal and coming back when Dumbledore decides to torture us some more."
"And also to cause trouble," Luna added. "They seem to be doing a wonderful job, don't you think?"
Hermione seemed about to answer, then shook her head, noticing something. "Harry, why do you, Luna, Sirius, Malfoy and Zabini all have green and silver glitter on you? And you, Har, you have red as well."
"Ron, Seamus, Dean and Neville all have the red too. Snape and Moony also have the green and silver."
"Harry, that doesn't answer my question."
He smiled innocently, and as he did so a few people noticed him pull out his wand. Luckily, Hermione and Ron were not among them. "All right. Well, I popped one this morning in the dorm. And earlier, when Snape and Remus were over here, I popped the green one as well."
She frowned. "What about the silver?"
"That was Professor Lupin," Draco told her. "What's your favourite colour?"
Caught off guard, she answered. "Blue, why?"
Her answer was the balloon that popped above her head, covering her, Ron, Draco, Blaise, Seamus, Luna and Harry in blue glitter. She glared at Draco accusingly. "Was that you?"
He couldn't help but grin. "No, actually. It was your psychotic housemate."
She raised her eyebrows at him. "I have several, Malfoy, although most of them are also in my year."
"I see. Well, I meant the homicidal insane one, if that helps," he offered.
"Ow! 'Mione, quit kicking me," Harry whined, glaring at her and rubbing his shin again. "Glitter is fun. You need to enjoy it. I'm going to have a bruise, and I'm probably going to have to wear a dress! Dumbledore will come after you if I bruise, and he'll Twinkle at you!"
Several of his fellow cast members shuddered.
"The Twinkle must die," Neville vowed.
"Indeed," Luna agreed whole-heartedly.
"What class do you have next?" Harry asked.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Harry, this is your schedule we're talking about as well."
"I've been permanently damaged by the thought of magical physical, uh, 'enhancements', and also, I think Petunia dropped me on my head as a baby."
"That would explain a lot," Ron said wisely. "But somehow I think it's this play that's done it to you."
"I agree," Draco muttered. "It's getting to us all."
"Obviously," Blaise said, shocked. "You just agreed with Weasley."
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did."
"No way!"
"Yes way."
Draco gave in. "Oh crap."
"Anyway," Hermione interrupted, before things got messy. "We have Charms, then Defence. Why did you ask?"
Harry smiled at her mischievously. "Because if you don't leave now, Flitwick will have a heart attack because you, Hermione Granger, will be late for the first time in your Hogwarts career."
She gasped and stood, grabbing her bag with one hand and Ron with the other. "Bye Harry, everyone, good luck with Dumbledore!"
Ron waved weakly as he was dragged from the Great Hall, just managing to grab his own bag.
They were the last students to leave. Seconds later they were joined by the other four students and McGonagall.
Dumbledore re-conjured his chair at the head of the table and Twinkled cheerfully at them all as he sat. "Well! Time for costumes!"
With a flourish of his wand, he summoned a large cardboard box with 'dress-ups' written on the side in purple marker. He leaned down, reached in and pulled out…a box of lemon drops.
Harry sighed, remembering something that had happened at the Burrow just that summer. He had been arguing quite happily with Fred about something, while Hermione and Ginny were telling off George for pranking them. Ron had offered him a bag of sweets, and he'd unknowingly pulled out a lemon drop and put it in his mouth. His argument was derailed as he was suddenly struck with memories of Dumbledore, and that damned twinkle of his…he hadn't been able to eat a lemon drop or sherbet lemon since. And he hadn't been able to eat chocolate much since third year…Hogwarts was ruining his enjoyment of decent junk food…
"Now, we're going to do this one at a time." He pulled out a lemon drop and popped it into his mouth. With a smile, he continued. "Each person shall stand here and allow the rest of us to make suggestions for his or her costume. Who wishes to go first?"
There was no answer, merely seventeen horrified stares.
"No volunteers? In that case…Sirius? Can you join me up here please?"
As Harry watched his godfather stand and walk over to the box, he took note of the way the Twinkle seemed to be twinkling smugly, and felt a chill race up his spine. This was not going to be fun…
In the book that my drama teacher got this play out of, it actually suggested using boys in the roles that Seamus, Dean and Sirius now fill; we had two guys play the stepsisters…and they used balloons under their dresses…
angelsword – Well, you got the roles fairly right. Glad you like it. And thanks for pointing out the whole note/story separation thing, I fixed that.
ReginaLucifer – Heh, well, Harry caught the insanity from me, nice to know its moving around the globe. Thanks, and the wait is over.
Steeple333 – Well, I figured parody because its sort of a parody of the original script, once I get around to the play.
ardent – Heh heh heh, well, pink, possibly fluffy…hm…
Kaaera – Thanks! Hm, well, you never know with those Gryffindor types, they can be rather unpredictable…
a stranger – Glad you think so. Harry, evil? Never…oh, well, maybe since I had a few words with him…
Hermione Lynn Cameron – Hey, just wait till you see the actual script…Blue is good, as is Ron, and I can vouch on behalf of my femaleness that I'm not whoever you mentioned…or didn't mention as the case may be. Well, possibly, depending on your point of view, but Harry/Draco has more humour value in this particular fic than Ginny/Draco would.
KittenRebecca – Aw, thanks. And I did, I'm evil, what can I say? Maybe I was channelling Dumbledore, cos you're right, it is rather like him.
Silverone3 – Oh, same, but don't worry, Dumbledore will get what's coming to him. No onstage kissage because there actually isn't any in the play, something that probably relieved the lead actors back in grade seven…but don't worry, backstage is another story…maybe. Heh, Siri will be in a dress of some kind, and shall help in the revolt against the Twinkle…
Sapphire Dragons – The Twinkle must Suffer. And it Shall. Thanks, don't worry, I did!
Quicksilver foxx – And that's the part I didn't write…sniff…actually it originally said Sonny and Skippy, which my drama teacher changed to Beavis and Butthead when we did it, and I changed to Hagrid and Norbert.
Thanks for reviewing, guys. I adore you all.
Please review!
S. Wolf