The Promise
:blushes: Your guy's reviews are so wonderful. They seriously warm my soul; I don't get that much recognition for my writing, it seems sometimes. Thank you all very much!
If you would like to read some of my non-fanfiction stuff, check me out on DeviantArt.
gibberishx -- writing
fortunatexfool -- artwork and photography AKA stuff I'm not so good at it
My first Danny Phantom fanfiction. A little angsty-er than my first three fics. Forgive me if it sucks.
Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom or this song "Half Alive" by Secondhand Serenade. This song is beautiful...I can relate to it a lot. Especially right now...
Danny--
It's 4 AM, I'm waking up to your perfume
I awoke suddenly, shaking my head. I looked down and realized that I was still in ghost form. My face was still sore from the fight with a ghost I could no longer remember. I felt the cut going across my cheek and winced in pain. My body ached; I must've been bruised from head to foot. My memory was failing me. The only thing I could recall was flying away from the battle, and...her...
As if on cue: "Danny?"
I looked behind me; I had woken Sam up. Her eyes were mere slits. She glanced at her alarm clock.
"What are you doing here? It's 3:58 in the morning."
Don't get up, I'll get through on my own
"I don't know. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Sorry. You looked really beat and I decided I'd get ready for bed and just wait for you to wake up on your own. But I guess I dozed off."
I don't know if I'm home
or if I lost my way into your room
She started to get up, but I held out my gloved hand to stop her. "No, go back to sleep; I'll be fine. You need your rest."
She nodded feebily and snuggled back under the violet bedspread, her eyes fluttering shut.
I could now recall passing out at the foot of Sam's bed about six hours ago. But I still couldn't remember who it was I had been fighting. All I remember was seeing Dash harassing Sam, running over to stop him, and then seeing him run away whenever it (whatever it was) showed up.
I'm spiraling into my doom
Not that it mattered anymore. All the ghosts I fight are the same to me in my mind: evil. Because they continuously keep me from the one thing I want more than anything else.
I am a ghost boy. I'm a halfa. But when I'm with her, I feel like there's hope for me being normal. Being human.
I'm feeling half alive
But I know one day you and I will be free
"It's going to be better for us someday, Sam. I promise."
To live and die by our own rules
Free...
"This world is cruel place...but we can walk through it together. What do you say?"
No answer. She had fallen asleep. I forced myself to laugh a little when she began quietly snoring.
Despite the fact that men are fools
Who was I kidding? I couldn't ask her that. I just couldn't. Good thing she hadn't heard me...
I knew I needed her. I had known it for a long time. But she could never be mine.
I'm almost alive, and I need you to try
and save me
It's okay that we're dying,
But I need to survive tonight, tonight
My life would be too much for her. I already cause her enough pain as my friend; imagine if she were my...girlfriend. As much as I want this...I can't have it. I can't have her. I'll only hurt her.
Well, excuse me while I get killed softly,
Heart slows down and I can hardly tell you I'm okay
At least 'til yesterday
I hope she knows she changed my life. Even before I became like this, I'e never a let a girl get as close to me as her. There was something different about her. She could always surprise me. She was in-your-face and out there and not afraid to be her own person. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever known.
You know you caught me off my highest guard
Believe me when I say it's hard
I hate hurting her. Exposing her to the evils of The Ghost Zone. Having to leave her to fight, when she needs me most.
I know we'll get through it. But we have to stay friends to do so. I know that now.
We'll get through this tonight
And I know one day you and I will be free
To live and die by our own rules
Free...
Despite the fact that men are fools
I heard her stir. "Danny..."
I sighed heavily, my heart aching with guilt and remorse. "Go back to sleep, Sam. We've got school today." I avoided her eyes.
"No, Danny. I'm not going back to sleep."
"Huh?"
I'm almost alive and I need you to try
and save me
It's okay that we're dying
But I need to survive tonight, tonight
Sam rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple times.
"Sam, I'm probably already in deep trouble for being so late. I've gotta go!"
"No. Stay."
I looked down and saw that she had taken hold of my wrist. Her grip was strong, but in no way forceful. I could've gone intangible and flown away right then...but something held me back.
And you touch my hand ever so slightly
Girl, we're not ready for this yet
She looked at me with a look of utmost seriousness and sincerity in her eyes. Her eyes, they were spellbinding.
And the deadly look she cast upon me
I won't regret, I won't regret
Then, without warning, she pulled me onto the bed and kissed me.
I won't regret, I won't regret
And I was trying to disappear,
But you got me wrapped around you
I can hardly breathe without you
At that moment, I felt as though she owned me. I wanted to fulfill her every whim and wish and dream. I wanted to have her in my arms for the rest of my life. But when she pulled away, I realized again that none of it could be possible.
No doubt, her eyes were still hypnotizing me.
Finally, she spoke. "Danny, I...I love you. Why do you fail to understand that?"
"I do understand that. I-I-I love you, too, Sam."
"Then why won't you do anything about it?"
I couldn't look her in the eye anymore. It hurt too much. I turned away, letting her hand fall limp on the bed. I knew full well the amount of pain I must've been inflicting upon her, and it was for that reason that tears had begun to fall down my face. The only thing that kept me from screaming, "Yes, Sam Manson, I will be yours!" was the fact that I could cause her so much more pain than this just by saying that very phrase. She was oh, so close, but yet so far away...
"Danny...why won't you answer me?"
I sniffled and gasped a little. This hurt like hell.
"Answer me, dammit!"
I choked out, "Because I'll only hurt you."
I was trying to disappear
But I got lost in your eyes now
You brought me down to size now
"Danny...don't you think that what you're doing now is hurting me?"
"Don't you think I know that, Sam!" It was hard not to yell; I had to keep my voice at a harsh whisper. I didn't want to wake up her parents.
"I don't understand."
I'm almost alive
And I need you to try and save me
I changed back into my human form and raked my hand through my sweat-filled hair. If I was going to explain this to her, I wanted her to see the real me. Or at least, the me I liked.
It's okay that we're dying
"Sam...I care about you more than anyone in my life. Including myself. That's why I can't be with you."
She stared at me numbly. I took her hand in mine but continued avoiding her eyes. It hurt too much to look at them. Her eyes were the windows to her heart and soul...and I didn't want to see them. I knew they were breaking.
"My life is too hard, Sam. I can't remember how many times I've had to leave you just to fight a ghost. I know how much I've hurt you in the past, and only as your friend. If you were my...my girlfriend...I can't help but fear it would only make it worse for you."
"Danny, I understand how demanding your life is. I love you enough that I'll always stand by your side. No matter what." Her pleading voice was breaking my heart. I dared to look into her eyes for a moment; they were filling with tears.
No matter what. How can somebody make a promise like that?
"No, it can't be, Sam. We can't be. What if something goes wrong? You were almost killed tonight...I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to you, Sam. You-You're my all."
I could tell she was trying to smile. But she couldn't.
"And that's why we can't be together."
She heaved a sigh and spoke, not meeting my eyes. "Don't you think I love you enough to take that risk?"
But I need to survive tonight, tonight
Tonight...
"I don't want you risking your life for me, Sam."
"Danny...you saved me many times in the past. I have faith that you'll save me again."
"But what if I don't! What if I mess up? What if I lose you!"
I wanted to return her wonderful gesture. I wanted to kiss her, more than anything in the world. I wanted to be hers. I wanted to tell her that my world, my entire life, and everything beautiful on this green earth was sitting before me in a purple camisole and black sweatpants. I wanted so much. But I couldn't have any of it. I wiped the tears from my cheeks.
"You're a blessing, Sam. And it's because of this curse I have upon me that I might lose the one blessing in my life that I have."
"Come on, Danny. I can't be the only good thing in your life..."
"Are you kidding? I'm a halfa! A freaking halfa! I have to fight a ghost everyday, and if they're not out to kill me, they're out to kill the ones I love the most. My grades are shit, my teachers hate me, my sister thinks I'm her therapy patient charity case, and I have to hide it all from my parents! Tucker died at the hands of my enemies and I don't want that to happen to you, too! I can't bear it."
I took a short breath. "The day Vlad's experiments killed Tucker was the worst day of my life. Also because in that same day, I realized that Tucker's fate could be yours as well. You guys were and are what made my life worth living. But now one of you is gone. That's burden enough."
"Danny, you're not gonna lose me. At least, not for a very long time. You won't mess up! What happened to Tucker was beyond your control. You couldn't have stopped it."
I said nothing.
"Can we really both live knowing that the other of us loves us and not do anything about it? I live with enough regret, Danny, and I know you do, too."
I still couldn't say anything. I wanted to agree with her, but I couldn't. I was still so afraid.
"So what are now, Danny? Friends? More than that? I'm not letting you leave until I find out."
"I don't know, Sam. I'm still so scared..."
She hung her head in defeat.
I'm almost alive and I need you to try
and save me
"I think we're friends with benefits."
"And what's the benefit? Not actually being together?"
"I didn't mean it like that, Sam."
"I know you didn't."
I smiled at her a little and kissed her cheek. "Someday, Sammy. I hope I can call that a promise.
111111111111111111111111111111111111111
Sam--
I watched with a forced smile as my beloved ghost boy flew off into the early morning air, a single tear rolling down my face. Though I had not gotten what I wanted, I had no regret regarding everything that had happened tonight. At least I knew he loved me. That was enough for me. The voice in the back of my head was telling me otherwise, but I didn't listen. I couldn't not believe in him. It was impossible.
I had never asked God for anything before, but that night I prayed for Danny. I didn't pray that he would realize that he was meant to be with me, or anything of the sort. I prayed that God would take him wherever his life lead him to go. I prayed that he'd be happy...even if that meant living without him.
The kiss we shared still lingered on my lips and made me miss him with an utmost vengeance. But I knew I'd be okay.
I whispered to nobody, "I hope you can call it a promise, too."
It's okay that we're dying
But I need to survive tonight, tonight.
I need to survive tonight, tonight...
A/N: As alwalys, please R&R. Love you all!