Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 1: Memories

I can hardly believe it's been almost ten years now, ten years since I last came here. Back amongst these people; this town. Although, I guess it really isn't a town anymore is it? It's a lot bigger now, huh, it's funny how things can change so much when you're not around them constantly. But I still remember. I can still see the park where we used to practice kendo, and over there is the old fast food joint where we would shovel fries and shakes into our mouths until we puked; ah yes, this place is covered in my old memories…my memories of you.

But what am I doing digging around in the past? It's not like you would even bother to remember would you? Huh, who am I kidding, I'll be lucky to see if anyone here even remembers you or me, much less see you here. Your dreams were always too big for this place, and too big for me. What I am even doing here? I swore when I left that I would never come back here, so what the hell am I doing here now? It's because of you isn't it? It's always because of you! Everything I've ever done in my life was to make you happy, and what did you do? You ran off with her! You left me for Misao! You son of a bitch, why the hell do I still think about you…Aoshi Shinomori I hate you!

"Well, well I never thought I'd ever see you around here again Enishi." Oh my god I don't believe it…Sanouske Sagara, shit I knew I should have stayed away from here. Well, I guess I'd have to face him sooner or later…

"Hey Sano, it's been a while, how've you been?" There, a nice civil way to start a conversation. Not even he can make something out of that, at least I sure as hell hope not. Sano has a way of turning every conversation around into a psychoanalytical probe of my 'tortured' past as he calls it. And they tend to be rather uncomfortable ones at that.

"Oh I've been great Enishi, I finally proposed to Megumi a little while ago, where expecting our first in a few months…" Okay so far so good, if I can just keep him going with this for a while then I won't have to talk about…"and I ran into Misao the other day as well." Oh shit here it comes…

"Was he with her Sano?" I swear my voice just dropped a few octaves as I spoke. It's always like this when I'm forced to talk about him; to talk about us. Only Sano really knew what actually happened between Aoshi and me, and more often than not, he uses it to his advantage, since he knows the damage it would cause if Misao ever found out about our past.

"No, he wasn't there Enishi. You know how he feels about coming back here. It's just how he is, to him the past is just that, and he sees no point in trying to dig up old memories, even the good ones." Huh, I guess Sano may have a heart after all, or I'm imagining that he may have been trying to comfort me in that last part. Either way I guess it's nice to at least have someone pretend to care your feelings.

"Thanks Sano. Maybe you aren't that big of an ass after all." I can see the laughter return to eyes at my joking. The guy really does have a good heart; you just have to dig through the layers of sarcasm and crudeness to find. It's funny looking at him now, I can see a lot of you in him, you know that? Especially your smile, you never did often enough but when you did, it was enough to make the world stop. I remember not being able to breathe, or think even. There was just us, and only us, and I can still remember thinking how, at least back then and maybe even now, that that was all I would need, you and that smile.

"Hello, earth to Enishi, you still there? I was asking if you wanted to come to dinner with me and Megumi tonight."

"Hmm? Oh sorry I guess I was spacing out again. But, yes Sano I would love to have dinner with you and Megumi. Where do you want to go?"

"Oh I was thinking we go take a picnic and eat on the beach. It's really nice out today and Megumi made this awesome dish that tastes out of this world!"

"Well with an offer like that from a friend like you how could I refuse?"

"Perfect, just stop by at seven after you've settled in and we can surprise Megumi, she won't believe you're really here! Oh! And we can show the rest of the guys too, especially Kaoru and Kenshin." There he goes again, acting like we where thirteen still. I don't think he'll ever loose that boyish charm of his, it's what makes him so irresistible, or so I think. But then again, meeting the others again might be nice too. Kenshin and I haven't talked in ages, and I'm beginning to forget what my godchild looks like. So I suppose a visit is order and besides it gives me an excuse to be here if I run into him again. Though I doubt I will…but it won't stop me from keeping my fingers crossed.