Chapter One: The New Hermione

"Hermione, hurry up! You're going to miss the train!" A smart but tired looking girl with curly brown hair stuffed the last of her clothing into her trunk and closed the lid with a snap, hastily sliding the lock into place. She took a last glance at her bedroom and then stepped into the hallway, dragging her trunk behind her. 'Goodbye until next summer,' she thought with mixed emotions.

"I'm coming, mum," she called down the stairs. Five minutes later Hermione, her mother, and her father were merging into the highway traffic, discussing as usual the importance of doing well in school.

"This is your last year-"

"Mum, I know. You've told me a thousand bloody times." Hermione knew the lecture by now. The last year, her last chance… She had to make this year count. She had to make her parents proud. 'It's not as if it's not true,' she thought to herself, 'I'm just so tired of hearing it.'

She turned to look at herself in the reflection of the window. She had the look of one who had fallen by the wayside. Her skin was pale, her eyes seemed dead. She had perhaps tried too hard to hide the bags under here eyes with makeup; it just make her skin look waxy. And the patches of brushed on pink on her cheeks were too pink to be convincing. She tugged on the sleeves of her robes, making sure they covered her arms completely. This was not an issue, however, as her clothes had been hanging rather limply from her thinning body lately.

In what seemed like a very long time, they arrived at the train station with only minutes to spare. "Make us proud!" her parents called as walked through the barrier onto Platform 9 ¾. There before her stood the scarlet Hogwarts Express, already beginning to move slowly, whistle blowing and steam billowing. She quickly ran to a door, yanked it open and threw herself and her trunk inside just in time, for the train was picking up speed quickly.

"You made it. That was awfully close there," said a voice behind her. She turned around to see Ron standing in the corridor, grinning at her.

"Ron! How are you? I missed you!" Hermione's mouth twisted into the first genuine smile she had given in months.

He looked her up and down, his expression of amusements fading slightly. I'm fine, but what about you?"

"I've… never been better," she said, her voice sounding falsely cheery even to her own ears.

Ron gave her a searching look but said no more as he lead her to the compartment where her other best friend, Harry Potter, was waiting for them. "Oi, help me with this trunk," Ron told Harry. "It weighs more than you do." Together the two boys hoisted the enormous trunk up into the luggage rack. When they had finished, they sat down in their seats and turned to Hermione.

"So… Head Girl, eh?" asked Harry.

"Yes," said Hermione. "Do either of you know who the Head Boy is?"

"No idea," answered Harry, not noticing the faint red tinge beginning to rise in Ron's face.

"How about you, Ron?" Hermione asked him curiously. "Why are you blushing?"

"Because," said a female voice, "he's embarrassed because he's the Head Boy." Ron's younger sister Ginny was standing inside the compartment, smiling smugly.

"Really?" Harry and Hermione exclaimed at the same time.

"Yes, and he's ashamed," said Ginny.

"Bugger off, Gin," Ron, who was now scarlet out of anger and embarrassment, told her.

"You didn't tell mum to bugger off when she found out," Ginny retorted. She bent down and pinched her brother's cheeks, saying in a baby voice, "She was so proud!"

"Cut it out, Ginny!" Ron leapt to his feet, making a grab for her, but she was too quick, running into the train corridor before he could catch her. Ron sighed. "Go on, laugh then," he said. But neither Harry nor Hermione were laughing. On the contrary, they were looking at him, astonished.

"Congratulations, Ron!" said Hermione. "That's wonderful!"

"Yeah, well done, mate," Harry said, slapping him on the back.

Hermione tugged on her sleeves again. "How do you feel?"

Ron shrugged. "It's okay, I guess." He grinned. "Mum was elated."

"That's really great, Ron," Harry said again. "Say, how was the Quidditch cup this summer?" And with that, they boys were off on another subject, leaving Hermione to her thoughts.

She was really Head Girl. Feeling embarrassed for no real reason, she turned her head to look out the window. Was this really who she had become? Her friends were strong, powerful, and confident, and she was weak and scared to tell people the truth… She grabbed her wrist compulsively when she heard the compartment door slide back.

"Anything off the cart?" said the small, plump witch.

"D'you want anything, Hermione?" Ron asked. Harry was, as usual, paying for the food.

"No thanks, I'm not very hungry."

"Sure you are," said Ron slowly with the same searching look he had given her earlier. "Harry, get her two cauldron cakes."

Harry complied, adding Hermione's food to the pile on the seat.

"Really, it's okay." She stared at the pastry. Nothing had ever looked less appetizing.

Ron shoved the cauldron cake into her hand. "Eat," he said sternly. He watched as she unwrapped it and took a small bite. It tasted like cardboard, but she swallowed it so that Ron would stop watching her. She gave him a false smile, and, obviously satisfied, he began talking to Harry again.

'I hate living like this,' Hermione thought. 'I hate who I've become.' Outside, the sky had turned dark. Big black clouds in the distance showed oncoming rain. Slowly, a tear slid down her cheek. She brushed it away before Harry or Ron could see. 'Maybe they could help me if they knew.' No. Nobody could help her. Nobody could know. 'They're your best friends. They'll find out eventually' "Um," Harry and Ron looked at her expectantly. She couldn't tell them. "I-I fancy a walk, I think." She suddenly felt nervous.

"You okay, 'Mione?" asked Harry, looking concerned. "You look ill."

She stood up, clutching the seat for support. "I'm fine," she answered shortly. She pushed past the boys and slid open the compartment door, stepping out into the corridor and swaying on the spot.

She stumbled past various compartments, catching jumbled parts of conversations. A clap of thunder sounded. She continued down the corridor. She knew she couldn't keep her secret much longer. She'd have to roll her sleeves up for potions, or somebody would see in the showers, or…

Everything was spinning. Her thoughts were running together in her mind as she panicked on the spot. Suddenly she stopped. "Hermione!" Harry was running towards her. She threw one arm out to keep him back, and just in time, for the next second she had vomited right where he would have been standing. "Bloody… Hermione!" She needed more air, but her lungs seemed to be constricting within her chest, working her to take in air with short, painful gasps. Harry caught her before she fell, her knees giving out and her world going black.