So, it turned out that getting the casts off was both a blessing and a curse for Maya the first few days. She was eager to do everything despite the braces that limited her mobility somewhat, especially in her left arm which was pretty much immobilized from the elbow up.
However, her right arm now theoretically had full range of motion back in it. Now, it was theoretical because after two months in full casts, everything was stiff. When they got home, Carina was surprised to find their crock pot on the counter full of soup and a loaf of bread sitting next to it.
"What is this?" Carina said, confused, "I know there is no way you did this."
"Hey, I can cook," Maya said, pretending to be insulted, "But Travis made that. I think it's butternut squash, but I can't remember. This morning was not great."
"I know," Carina said, putting the lid back on the crock pot and walking over to her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't even know," Maya said, rubbing her face on Carina's shoulder, "I just…I started thinking and I couldn't stop and then I couldn't breathe and then I kept thinking about that and…I don't know. It was just too much."
"It's ok," Carina said, kissing the top of Maya's head, "I know you were very anxious about today. I should not have gone into work."
"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "No, you were needed there, and you shouldn't have to not help people because my stupid anxious brain can't manage to settle itself."
"Hey," Carina said warningly, not liking when Maya talked like this, "Your brain is just fine. Anxiety is not something that makes your brain stupid. You struggle with something that you could just let overtake you every day, but you don't. And this morning, it might have won for a minute, but that is ok."
"I think part of the problem is that I haven't really been alone since I broke my arms," Maya said, sniffling, "And I just…I guess I just started freaking out about what was going to happen today and in the future if…if something happened and my arms didn't heal or something."
"Oh Bambina," Carina said, holding Maya's face in her hands, "You should have talked to me about this and not kept it all inside."
"I didn't even know I was worried about this, at least not really, until today. I mean, I had thought about it, but every time I did, you were there or Vic or Travis or Andy or someone else to distract me," Maya said, "And then today…I was alone and no one pulled me out of it and I couldn't do it myself. I know, I need to talk to Diane and get it sorted out, but I just…I don't know."
"It's ok," Carina said, kissing her gently, "You have been through a lot in the past few weeks, and being anxious about it is totally normal. Are you feeling better about it now?"
"Mostly," Maya said, "I mean, I'm still worried something will happen that will take me out of firefighting, but after talking to Link, I feel better about it."
"I don't think this is going to stop you from being a firefighter," Carina said, "It might take a little while for you to get those big, strong arm muscles back, but I have no doubt it will happen."
Maya nodded, leaning against Carina again, feeling exhausted even though she had napped earlier in the day
. "How about we have some dinner and then get into bed?" Carina said, seeing that it was already almost 6, and that Maya was exhausted both from the day and from the past few weeks in general.
"Can we shower before bed?" Maya asked, "Cause these arms are itchy still."
"Of course," Carina nodded, "Do you want to eat first or shower?"
"Eat," Maya said, "I skipped lunch because, you know, panic attack."
Carina nodded, going back to the crock pot and opening it, stirring the contents as she inhaled.
"Travis is amazing," she said, grabbing out a bowl for herself and going to get a mug for Maya, only to realize Maya might actually be able to use a spoon again.
"Bambina, do you want to try eating with a spoon tonight?" Carina asked, "Or still a straw?"
"Spoon please," Maya said, "I cannot wait to eat food with real utensils."
"Hey, I fed you pasta like two nights ago," Carina said, raising an eyebrow as she dished out the soup before grabbing a knife to cut the bread.
"I meant I can't wait to feed myself with real utensils," Maya said, going to the drawer and getting out two spoons, "I am very grateful that you were patient enough to feed me for the past couple months."
"I am just kidding," Carina said, carrying the bowls and bread to the table, "I am happy for you that you can use a spoon again."
They sat down at the table together, Maya carefully picking up the spoon in her right hand, smiling as she put the first bite in her mouth.
"Good job," Carina said, watching Maya get the food into her mouth, "How does it feel?"
"Weird," Maya said, "But really good."
They continued on with dinner, Maya asking Carina about her day. As they ate, Maya found her arm becoming more and more sore, ending up setting down her spoon before she finished because her arm was so sore. Of course, Carina noticed.
"Are you already full Bambina?" the Italian asked before looking more closely at her girlfriend's face, seeing the slight cotorsion of pain in her eyebrows, "Are you hurting?"
"It's just sore," Maya said, rubbing her stiff elbow with her left hand, "Or…maybe a little more than sore."
"You haven't been able to move it for a long time," Carina reminded her, not wanting Maya to get overly frustrated.
"I know," Maya sighed, biting her lip, "I just…I want it to all feel better."
"I know," Carina said, getting up and going to sit next to Maya, "And you will, but it will take longer than a few hours. What can I do? Are you still hungry?"
"Yeah," Maya nodded, "But it's too sore to keep going."
"I can help you," Carina offered, "Or get you a straw?"
"Can you do it?" Maya asked, looking down, "I promise I will try to get this part of my therapy done fast."
"Bambina, I do not mind helping you eat," Carina said, bringing a spoonful to Maya's lips, "I would do it for the rest of our lives if you needed me to."
Maya leaned over, giving Carina a small kiss, "I love you."
"I love you too," Carina said, smiling at Maya.
They finished the rest of their dinner, Carina clearing the table. Maya tried to help, but Carina shooed her out of the kitchen, telling her to go get ready for a shower. Carina made quick work of getting the kitchen cleaned up before going into the bathroom where she heard the shower running.
She was half expecting to find Maya already in the shower, but instead, she found her girlfriend standing in the bathroom, her pants off, but her shirt and braces still on.
"I can't remember how to get them off," Maya sighed, "And I didn't want to mess it up."
"I can help," Carina said, pulling off her own clothes, "Here."
Carina carefully took off the braces, Maya paying better attention to how Carina was moving the pieces. Soon enough, both arms were free, and Carina helped her out of her shirt and bra before they got into the shower.
"I know I can't more my left arm yet really," Maya said, "But do you think I can try washing my hair with my right hand?"
"Bambina, I don't think you should move your wrist that much," Carina said, "The place your right arm is still not fully healed is near that joint. Just let me do it for now, ok?"
Maya nodded, knowing Carina was right. She let her girlfriend was her hair and body, the Italian paying special attention to Maya's arms, getting a lot of the dry skin off and just making sure they were very clean. Maya sighed as Carina scrubbed a particularly itchy area on her right arm.
"Feel good?" Carina asked, watching Maya's eye close in bliss.
"So good," Maya nodded, "That has been so itchy for weeks."
Carina smiled as she finished up washing Maya's body before moving on to her own.
"I can't wait until I can help you with that," Maya said as she watched her girlfriend wash her body.
"Oh, I will let you," Carina said, "You have a lot of making up to do."
"I promise I will do everything you ask," Maya said, moving closer to her girlfriend, connecting their lips, carefully moving her arms in a way that didn't hurt to caress her body making the Italian drop her washcloth as she moaned in pleasure, their shower turning into a much more mutual exchange of assistance as Maya took advantage of her slightly more mobile arms.
"Come on Car," Maya said anxiously, standing by the door.
"I am coming. Calm down," Carina said, "We are going to be early anyway. The PT place is literally five minutes away."
"But what if I have to fill out paperwork?" Maya said, "Or if they are running early? Or if there is traffic? I don't want to be late."
"Ok," Carina said, realizing that Maya's anxiety was getting the best of her.
It had been two days since Maya had been uncasted and the blonde had been able to finagle sleeping on her stomach again which had helped her sleep better the first night. However, with her anticipation about going to physical therapy, her sleep had been almost non-existent the night before. Carina knew there was no way to calm her down or settle her in any meaningful way until they were at the office.
They headed out the door, Maya managing to open her own door and do her own buckle again. She tried to close the door too, and actually did pretty well, but she didn't quite have the strength just yet to get it closed all the way.
"I am impressed with how well you are doing Bambina," Carina said as she got into the car, starting it up, "You haven't even gone to therapy yet and you are already doing so much."
"My arms just feel so weak," Maya sighed, "And stiff. Probably more stiff than anything."
"Physical therapy and time will help with that," Carina said as she headed toward the PT office, "But you are going to have to be patient. You still have at least 12 days before you get full use of your arms."
"I know," Maya nodded, "But my goal is to get the parts I do have use of as strong as possible between now and my next appointment with Link so that if he clears me then, I can be as far as possible."
"I know," Carina nodded, "But you are going to have to be patient with your arms. They have been immobile and healing for weeks."
"They will be fine," Maya said, "I can take some soreness and pain if it means I can have my arms back sooner."
Carina wanted to argue with her but decided to just keep her mouth shut for now. She knew that often times when people broke their arms, even as much as Maya had, that PT was pretty straight forward and short because daily living helped get them back to normal, but because Maya relied on her arms so much for work whether it was carrying people out of burning buildings or wrenching open hydrants. Because of this, she was seeing a PT who specialized in fire fighter recovery.
They drove to the physical therapy office, Carina kept one hand on Maya's thigh, just trying to provide her with some kind of support as Maya just stared out the window, face straight, body ridged. Carina knew she was thinking hard about how PT was going to go, trying to make sure she had control over everything she could. Often when Maya got like this, Carina would spend time coaxing her out of it, helping her relax and open up about what she was feeling. If this kept up after therapy, Carina would push her more, but she was decently sure that some of this tension would dissipate. Maya liked to know everything she could about a situation before she went into it which was good for fighting fires but challenging when it came to a lot of other aspects of her life. It was something she was constantly working on, but this injury had made her regress a bit in her progress.
They pulled up to the PT office, Carina opening Maya's door for her, the blonde insisting she could get out of the car without help.
Carina followed her into the office, Maya getting checked in. She was given a tablet to fill out paperwork on, Carina offering to help but Maya was adamant she could do it alone. Carina took a deep breath, trying not to get frustrated with her girlfriend as she watched her struggle with the tablet. Maya did eventually finish the paperwork, struggling to pick up the tablet to take it back.
"Bambina, can I please help you?" Carina said, "You are going to drop it."
"Fine," Maya said, not wanting to damage the tablet.
It took about five minutes for Maya to get called back.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Carina asked, not sure what her girlfriend wanted at this point.
"Yeah," Maya said, nodding as Carina got up, following her.
The first thing the therapist did was test Maya's strength in the parts of her arms that they were going to be working on. Carina could tell that Maya wasn't thrilled with her resistance abilities or the range of motion in any of her joints.
Maya did well with the exercises she was given, the therapist setting out explicitly what Maya could and couldn't do while her arms were still healing. Carina was glad he did because she knew Maya would be trying everything she could.
Soon enough, Maya was done, having a handful of exercises to work on over the coming days, most of them focusing on her joint mobility and a little on strength.
They walked out to the car, Carina seeing the look of dissatisfaction on Maya's face, knowing that her girlfriend was hoping to be doing more than she was.
"Remember, you just got the casts off two days ago," Carina reminded her gently as Maya let out a frustrated sigh once they were in the car.
"I know," Maya snapped before closing her eyes, taking a breath, "Sorry. I know. It's just hard. I want to be done with this, and my arms are sore and it sucks."
"I know," Carina said, "You will get better. You are getting better. You just have to be patient and listen to your body. You are so close to being done and back to your pre-broken arm self."
Maya nodded as Carina leaned over, pressing a small kiss to her lips.
"Alright," Carina said, "I think that after all the work you just did, we should go get some Chinese and enjoy it by The Sound?"
Maya nodded, smiling because that was one of her favorite day dates with Carina.
Ten days after Maya's first PT appointment, and things in their apartment were going…less than great. Maya was frustrated with her arms just about all the time because they were not getting better as fast as she wanted. She would spend multiple hours a day trying to do her PT exercises. This would have been fine, Carina knowing how important it was for Maya to heal and be able to get back to her life. However, Maya's frustrations with her body were spilling over into their relationship, resulting in Maya snapping at her girlfriend more and more often. It had all come to a head the day before. Carina had to work from 10 am to 10 pm, meaning she was around part of the morning. She had woken up to an empty bed, a typical thing now that Maya had PT to do. The blonde would usually get up early and work on her PT exercises for about an hour. She would also typically jump on her bike for another hour. Carina wasn't a huge fan of her biking with her arms still in a brace, but Maya was very coordinated (except obviously for the moment that lead her to break her arms to begin with) and it wasn't worth the fight. Sometimes, Carina would get up and watch Maya work out, but today, she just stayed in bed, knowing she was going to be working late. She was also trying to mentally prepare herself for Maya's follow up appointment the day after tomorrow with Link, really hoping the orthopedic surgeon would clear her girlfriend because she wanted her normal girlfriend back. Maya came into the bedroom around 8, looking a little grumpier than normal.
"What's wrong Bambina?" Carina asked as Maya headed into the bathroom.
"Nothing," Maya said, turning on the shower.
Carina knew that wasn't true and dragged her body out of bed, going over to the bathroom, leaning on the bathroom door as she watched Maya pull off her pants and underwear before moving on to getting off her sports bra.
"How was your workout?" Carina asked as Maya moved on to getting off her braces.
"Fine," Maya said, "Honestly, I am fine Car. You can go back to bed. I'm not washing my hair today."
"Can I join you in the shower and not wash your hair?" Carina asked.
"Of course," Maya said, relaxing ever so slightly as Carina started to undress.
They had started having a nice shower until Carina noticed a bruise on Maya's knee.
"What happened here Bambina?" she asked, running her finger over the bruise.
"I…I slipped a little on the bike this morning," Maya said as Carina's eyes got wide, "It was just a little bit and I didn't fall or anything. I just hit my knee."
"I told you biking with one arm was a bad idea, "Carina said, "You are going to get more hurt."
"Carina, I am fine," Maya said, jaw clenching a little bit.
"Maya, I know you are anxious to get back to your life, but if you get hurt, you are just going to be out longer," Carina said.
Maya didn't say anything else, just pulling away from Carina and getting out of the shower.
"Maya," Carina said, following her, knowing she should probably stop but she was tired of walking on eggshells with her girlfriend and she needed Maya to know that she was just looking out for her, "You have to be careful."
"Carina, I am fine," Maya said, giving her a look that told Carina that if she kept going, things were not going to end well.
Carina backed off, both of them getting dressed in silence before Maya went into the kitchen to make breakfast. Carina made the bed before joining her girlfriend in the kitchen.
When she walked in, she found Maya staring at a shelf above her head that had coffee cups on it. Maya had been routinely reaching that shelf for the past five days, but Carina could tell that for some reason, it just wasn't happening today. She walked over, reaching up and grabbing two mugs down.
"I could have gotten those," Maya snapped, looking at her, "I was just psyching myself up to it."
"You haven't had to do that before this morning," Carina said, confused as she walked over to her espresso machine, turning it on and starting her coffee, "Did you hurt your arm when you fell on the bike?"
"No," Maya said, "I told you, I didn't fall. I just hit my knee. My arm is just sore today. I think I slept on it weird or something."
"Are you sure?" Carina asked.
"Yes," Maya said, "God, why can you never just believe me?"
"Maybe because you like to not tell me the truth about how you are feeling," Carina said, raising an eyebrow.
"I did tell you how I was feeling," Maya said, "I tell you all the time when my arms are sore or when I am anxious or tired. I am going to tell you right now how I'm feeling. I feel like you never trust me about anything and I wish you would just back off and leave me alone. I am not an invalid anymore and I do not need you to constantly watch me. I am a grown adult Carina, and I can take care of myself. I don't need your help."
Carina felt like she had been slapped in the face. She knew Maya was getting better, but Carina had spent over two months making sure everything Maya needed was there for her when she couldn't get it herself and hearing her girlfriend yell at her like that really hurt.
"Ok," Carina said, putting her hands up, "I am going to go to work since you are just fine without me. I will be back tonight. Sorry I have been so overbearing."
Carina disappeared into the bedroom, grabbing her stuff before walking back into the kitchen, finding Maya standing very stiff and very still in the kitchen.
"I will see you later," Carina said, walking up to her and giving her a small kiss before turning to go.
"Carina, wait," Maya said, looking at her, "I…"
"Bambina, not right now, ok," Carina said, "I need to work. We can talk later. We both need to calm down. I love you."
"I love you too," Maya said, wiping a tear from her eye as Carina turned to go.
She didn't love leaving when she knew Maya was upset, but she was also upset and knew that if they tried to talk now, it would turn into a full-blown argument that wouldn't be productive. Carina went to work, struggling to keep her head in her work and not letting it drift back to her fight with Maya.
Around noon, she got a text from one of the OBs, asking if there was any way she could take her shift because her daughter had come down with the flu. This was the OB Carina was supposed to hand off to at the end of her shift, and Carina really wanted to just go home but this particular OB had helped Carina out a lot when Maya had been injured.
She texted her back, telling her she would take the shift before texting Maya, telling her she was going to be working until at least 10 am the following day because one of her OB friends asked her to cover. Maya texted her back, telling her she hoped she had a good shift and that she loved her.
Carina worked the back-to-back shifts, absolutely spent by the time she headed home the next morning around 11. She knew that Maya was going to want to talk about their fight the day before, but she didn't have it in her. She knew Maya would understand if she just went home and slept, but she also knew sleep wouldn't be great until their fight resolved.
As she drove home, she decided that she would go home, get a two-hour nap, then get up, talk to Maya until they worked through what was going on, and then hopefully convince her girlfriend to cuddle her in bed for the rest of the day.
She got home, walking into the house and finding it very quiet. Normally, Maya would be working on her PT or listening to a podcast or something. However, the house was silent. She wondered if maybe Travis and Vic or Andy had come over and taken Maya out for a while. While she wanted to see her girlfriend, having the apartment to herself didn't sound too terrible right now. She set down her bag before heading into the bedroom.
As she opened the door to the bedroom, which was strangely closed, her jaw dropped. There were about a hundred candles scattered around the room (electric of course because she was dating a firefighter), a bottle of wine, a box of Carina's most favorite chocolates, about two dozen roses, and a new bottle of massage oil sitting on the nightstand, and as she turned toward the bathroom, she saw Maya standing there in lingerie she had never seen before, her braces both gone.
"Bambina, what…" Carina said as Maya walked toward her.
"You have been taking such good care of me over the past few months," Maya said, wrapping both her arms around her girlfriend, "And I have been impossibly difficult and not very nice to you even though you were just trying to help so today, I am going to say thank you as much as I can and take care of you."
"Where are your braces?" Carina asked as Maya kissed her.
"So yesterday, when you texted me and told me you had to work a double, I called Link's office and somehow, he had an opening this morning at like 7:30 so I bribed Travis with coffee and he took me. Link cleared me for all activities and no more braces. And Vic and Andy helped me get all of this stuff together yesterday. Carina, I am so sorry I have been such an ass to you, especially in the past few weeks and most especially yesterday. I love that you take care of me and spent so much time making sure I was ok. I love you so much."
"I am sorry I was being overbearing and not trusting you," Carina said as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, "I do trust you, I just want to protect you from everything."
"I know," Maya said, "I know you trust me and I know you care. I will talk about this as much as you want or need to, but just know that I am sorry, and I am going to do better because I love you, and I am not in the least upset with you for caring."
"I think we are good," Carina said, pressing her lips to her girlfriend's, smiling into the kiss.
"Good," Maya said, pulling away after a minute, "Now, Dr. Deluca, it is time for you to relax and let me take care of you."
Carina nodded as Maya led her to the bed, sitting her down as she slowly began to undress her, Carina reaching to help only to have her hand be batted away.
"No," Maya said, "I am going to take care of you today. You spent two months doing just about everything for me so today, I am going to do everything for you."
Carina nodded, feeling the exhaustion that had been filling her brain being rapidly replaced by love and adoration and pleasure as she just allowed herself to relax in a way she didn't even realize she hadn't been able to do since Maya got hurt. Soon enough, Carina's clothes were gone, Maya rolling her onto her back as she grabbed the massage oil.
"Now just relax," Maya whispered in her ear, nipping at it a little, sending a shiver through Carina's body.
Maya started slowly working the oil into Carina's back. Carina could feel the subtle differences in the amount of pressure Maya was able to provide with her hands.
"Don't do anything that is going to hurt your arms," Carina said, trying to look up at Maya.
"Carina," Maya said in a warning tone.
"Right," the Italian said, "I trust you. Just keep…"
Carina couldn't even finish her thought as she lost herself in Maya's hands moved further down her body. The rest of the morning and into the afternoon was spent in their bed, Maya making sure Carina knew how grateful she was for everything Carina had done for her. Carina had tried to take care of Maya a little too, but the blonde was having none of it.
Around 3, the exhaustion of work along with spending the morning and afternoon being spoiled by her girlfriend finally caught up to the Italian, resulting in her falling asleep when Maya got up to get something from the kitchen.
When the blonde came back, she smiled, climbing into bed and holding her girlfriend properly for the first time in a long time. Her arms were both pretty sore right now from how much she had done with them, but she was happy that her arms were finally functional again and slowly getting her back to doing what she loved.
And that is the end of the story. I'm not totally sure I love this chapter as a whole, but I think it had parts that I liked. Thanks for reading!