Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: Please review…please?
Chapter 12
Fallen
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To
be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't
as empty
As my conscience seems to be
--The Who
"That day in the library, why did you look at my left forearm?"
The question seemed to come out of the blue as they stood there in the rain. It was something that had been driving him crazy. Hermione looked at him and smiled slightly.
"I was just checking."
She shrugged as if it was no big deal. The rain pelted them.
"Checking for the Dark Mark?"
Hermione smiled shyly, as if she had been caught doing something she was not supposed to do. He shook his head.
"You could have asked. But as you were witness, I do not have it yet."
Lucius watched the smile fall from her face.
"Yet," she whispered as she looked down at the wet ground around her feet. Just a minute ago, she was twirling around feeling just pure delight. And with one word, she felt a deep foreboding, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had actually been naïve enough to think that her presence prior to him becoming the man he would become could somehow alter the future.
The raindrops poured down her face and dripped from her eyelashes as she looked back up at him. No, she had already seen the characteristics that were very much Lucius Malfoy, Death Eater. Besides, she saw the pictures…in Lucius' past she was there even though he was a Death Eater. He saw her face pale slightly as she nodded her head in understanding. Licking her lips in nervousness and disappointment she stepped passed Lucius. His eyes followed her wondering what just happened. One moment she was delightful, dancing in the rain, and laughing and now she was like an empty shell walking by.
He ran after her.
"Hermione," he yelled when he entered the doors.
She stopped and turned around to look at him.
"When?" He looked at her with confusion written across his brow. She took a few steps toward him with a gate full self-assurance and disappointed anger. "When do you receive it?"
"I am to receive it in a couple of days." A smirk appeared on his face as he responded.
She took a couple more steps toward him with her arms crossed over her chest. He knew she was cold, he saw her shiver slightly despite her attempts to hide the fact.
"And you are so proud aren't you?"
He looked at her holding his head high.
"Yes, I am. Why shouldn't I be? I will be joining the fight for the preservation of our kind…the pure…the untainted."
Hermione shook her head as if giving in to some idea in her head that Lucius did not know. He was right. Hermione knew that this was indeed the Lucius Malfoy she was talking to and the ignorance to her background coupled with the fact that she was in Slytherin had blinded him. She was everything he hated.
"Pride is not necessarily a virtue, Lucius."
His eyes narrowed as he took another step closer.
"You do know me in the future, do you not?"
Hermione was tired of this question and yet this time it smacked of his acknowledgement that it was the truth…that he already knew the answer.
"I have already told you I cannot answer that."
He stepped even closer and looking down his nose at her, he spoke reminding her of the older Lucius.
"There will come a time when you must choose whose side you are on."
Hermione looked up at him determined, unblinking; giving Lucius the impression that she did not fear him in the least.
"That choice was made for me the moment I stepped foot in Hogwarts."
His position did not move as his eyebrow arched.
"If you are not with the Dark Lord then you are against him and how inferior that makes you."
Hermione took one step closer…almost too close for comfort and in his face she hissed.
"Your condescension astounds me. Am I so inferior to you because I would not even toy with the idea of marring my skin with the mark of the evil calling himself Voldemort? Then so be it. Go ahead hold your head high in your false sense of pride, Mister Malfoy. By all means you believe it is justly deserved. Just remember that pride you hold so dear when you are a fallen broken man because of your 'Dark Lord.' Remember it well Lucius Malfoy—it will be your only true friend."
Hermione stormed off toward the Slytherin Common room leaving a stunned Lucius behind.
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Hermione walked tentatively into the Headmaster's office. She had received no word as to what had befallen Bellatrix the previous night when she went with the Headmaster. She sat in the chair indicated in front of Dumbledore's desk and with her hands in her lap she fidgeted. The silence seemed to stretch for a lifetime as Dumbledore simply observed Hermione over his half moon spectacles.
"I won't pretend to understand what that little duel was about Miss Dagworth-Granger, but I will trust it will not happen again."
She looked up in shock.
I'm not in trouble?
"Yes sir," she spoke lightly as she looked down in her lap in shame at her own behavior.
"Consider this your warning. I will not tolerate another out burst is that clear?"
"Yes, sir."
Without any further adieu, Dumbledore smiled brightly.
"On a lighter note, you will be able to return home in a week's time."
His statement had the desired effect. Hermione looked straight up into the Headmaster's eyes full of excitement.
"Really? How?"
He chuckled softly.
"I have a few friends at the Ministry and they have worked on a time-turner for me that will enable you to travel far enough into the future. It has simply taken awhile to alter the magical properties of a regular time-turner."
She said her thanks with an enthusiastic bounce to her step and voice. When she reached the door to leave the sound of Dumbledore's voice drew her back.
"Oh, and Miss Dagworth-Granger, do remember—people are not always what they seem."
She smiled rather bitter sweetly.
"Yes, I am figuring that one out I believe."
When she left his office and hurried down the corridor, she did not notice the blond boy whose steely grey eyes followed her every move.
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Several people noticed, but knew better than to say a word about it. On more than one occasion, Lucius was seen watching Hermione. She was always oblivious to its happening. He would glance sideways at her in the classes they sat next to each other in—Hermione deep into her work, Lucius unrequited longing. In the Great Hall at meal times, he would pass behind her getting to his own seat and he would slow down and stop eyes on her from behind. With a deep sigh, he would move along to his seat.
Hermione didn't notice these little instances, so deep in her own thoughts. She was going home! She couldn't wait, though the thought of what was happening when she left brought about all sorts of confusing emotions. The main thought sending befuddled emotions throughout her body was the idea of leaving this time after having such a falling out with her best friend in this time—Lucius Malfoy.
The image of the Dark Mark floating above her own house flitted across her mind. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and nodded slightly to herself. She would leave having not reconciled with him and it was okay. He may not have been one of the Death Eaters at her house that night, but potentially he could have been—he was after all a Death Eater. And then the thought of what was happening in her own time sent panic through her. True, she never mentioned her status as a Muggle-Born here—it was wise not to in this house, but in the future, Lucius knew and he hated her for it.
The wind whipped around her and tickled her skin. She sat under a tree by the lake and it was colder than usually for that time of year. It was so cold; Hermione swore she could smell the snow in the air. She shuddered slightly as she noticed the blond that filled her thoughts hurrying across the grounds toward the forbidden forest. Curiosity and concern for the strange look on his face filled Hermione and brought her to her feet. Quickly she followed after him and into the forbidden forest.
Once she was about a foot into the forest, she stopped and looked around for Lucius. She noticed him a bit to her right up ahead. Not wanting to be noticed she followed slowly and as silently as the trees would allow. It was dark; the moon was out giving little light to the path Lucius was taking. A snapping twig echoed in the forest and Lucius stopped and looked to his right toward the sound. Hermione stood frozen, hidden by a tree and brush. The light of the moon illuminated one side of his face. There was a strange look on his face…one she could not pin any one emotion to.
Finally, Lucius came to a small area that was not as dense as the rest of the forest. Looking around, Hermione could see where they were at. To the left was the cabin that was hers in her time. Licking her lips as her nerves evoked a fear of what she would see, she hid behind a dense patch of brush and watched.
Lucius stepped forward and dropped to his knees underneath a large oak tree. The action threw Hermione completely. This was not an action one would place on Lucius Malfoy. Then her blood ran cold as she saw the man standing before Lucius. She recognized him from Ginny's description from the diary, only an older version. He was quite handsome, but the glint in his eyes warned you not to even cross that line…he was to be worshipped not loved and admired.
She was not close enough to hear what they said, but she could see their actions. The moon peeped behind a cloud casting them all in total darkness. When the moon reappeared, it shone down on Lucius. He was on his knees looking up at the older wizard…his cold grey eyes pleading, begging. Voldemort, as he insisted on being known as, laughed and Lucius looked down at the ground as if defeated. The snow Hermione knew was coming, though quite early for the time of year, began to slowly drift down from the clouds above.
Hermione watched in horror as Voldemort pulled out his wand and with one quick movement, Lucius was writhing on the ground…his screams echoing through the snow and forest. It was a sound most disturbing. Lucius was one of the best Death Eaters in her time…he caused screaming he did not do the screaming. To see a young version of that man writhing in pain and to hear his screams caused Hermione's stomach to flip in nausea.
She wanted to stop Voldemort's torture of Lucius, but couldn't…he would probably know immediately that she was a "Mudblood" and proceed to kill her. That would not help anyone. When finally, Lucius body was limp and unmoving, Voldemort stepped forward and grabbed Lucius' left arm. Pointing his wand at his forearm, Voldemort hissed something and Hermione noticed the black color seem to draw itself on Lucius' arm. Turning and swirling, until the Dark Mark burned into his arm. Voldemort unceremoniously dropped Lucius' arm and apparated away leaving Lucius lying on the cold ground as the snow fell all around.
Hermione cautiously looked around and then ran out to Lucius. His eyes opened just enough to see that Hermione was hovering over him. She had her wand out and was casting several spells over him to assess any damage done to him. The tears had sprung to her eyes immediately upon seeing Lucius lying there so still. She hated Voldemort with everything in her and to see someone else inflicted with any sort of pain by him incensed her more so. Lucius lying so still with eyes only half-open still noticed the tears sliding down her cheeks. With a shaky hand, he reached out. His fingertips unsteadily touched a tear wiping it off her cheek.
Hermione's eyes slowly shifted up Lucius' body and met his eyes. Her head tilted to the side slightly as if trying to figure out if Lucius knew what he was doing. Her eyes bore into his own as a smirk formed on his face. His fingers slowly slid from wiping a tear from her cheek to her neck, and then to the back of her head. With his fingers deep in her hair, he began to pull her toward him.
She was defenseless to stop him. Her eyes shifted from his soft lips to his eyes. Power emanated from Lucius even in a younger and weakened state. Her breath hitched in her chest as she placed her hands on his chest to stop his continuation.
Their lips were barely touching, though not kissing. She had stopped him just in time and the feel of her lips so close and yet so far away caused a strange guttural growl to escape him. Hermione gently removed his hand from her hair, trying to ignore the Dark Mark burning in his arm.
"Lucius, we need to get you somewhere safe. You don't know what you are doing. You need potions."
Hermione looked around almost panicked. Her eyes fell on the cabin that in the future, she knew what it held, but at this time, she knew not. Putting her hands on Lucius' cheeks as if urging him to look at her and stay focused she asked.
"Lucius…focus. The cabin over there. Whose is it?"
His eyes shifted slightly and he licked his lips before speaking.
"It's abandoned. I hide out there on occasion."
Resolving herself to the fact that the cabin is where she would have to take him for the night, she stood up and brushed any dirt from her clothes.
"Can you stand?"
He said nothing, but slowly began to painfully rise to his feet. Hermione bent down and took his arm to help the best she could. He winced as pain shot through his body causing him to nearly fall. Once his balance was painfully obtained, he walked slowly, with Hermione's help, to the cabin.
When Hermione walked into the cabin, she noticed how different it was on the inside. The sofa and chair were near the fireplace and the bookcases were there just as they would be when Hermione would acquire the cabin. The difference was there was no bed in the area behind the stairs and the loft appeared to be a rather cozy bedroom. Hermione's eyes went from the loft to Lucius apologetically. He seemed to know what was on her mind.
"I'll manage," he said in response.
It was slow going and took a few minutes, but Lucius made it up the stairs. Hermione helped to guide him onto the bed the whole time her mind moving in a thousand directions. She looked around as if to see if there were potions or anything up there. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he pointed to a cupboard.
"I have pajama bottoms in there."
She didn't ask…something told her she should, that it would give even more insight into the psyche of Lucius Malfoy, but a part of her knew that it was probably something best left for now. Nodding, she walked over to the cupboard and brought them to him.
"Um…will you be alright changing while I see about some potions?"
He nodded. She hesitated for a moment before turning back to the stairs and heading down them toward the bathroom. In the bathroom, she rummaged through a cabinet and found what she needed for his pain. Sighing in relief, she headed back up the stairs. Lucius was in his pajama bottoms still sitting on the edge of his bed. He seemed to be looking at the Dark Mark on his arm. His steely grey eyes betrayed slight warmth when he looked up at her entrance. She handed him the phial of potion.
"It will help with the pain and help you sleep." She stood there arms crossed over her chest, foot tapping watching him down the potion and then set the phial aside. "I told you this would happen."
She sounded irritated. A small smirk lit Lucius' face for a mere second before it faded and he looked back up at her.
"Yes, you did," he said laying back. He reached out and grabbed her arm, gently pulling her down onto the bed next to him. "Though it appears that my pride is not my only friend."
Lying on his side, he reached his arm around her and pulled her tightly against him. Hermione was reminded of the older Lucius doing the same thing and now it seemed to click as to why he did so. She could feel his breath tickling her neck as he gently kissed her shoulder.
"Just don't leave me…not tonight."
