A/N : This chapter I dedicate to reviewer Phephe for being such a devoted fan.
Warning : Strong language, eventual yaoi, violence
Disclaimer : I don't own Beyblade or any of the characters. The characters you do not recognise are mine and are not to be stolen/used in any story other than my own.
"………" - Speech
'………' - Thought
Italics - Something written (e.g. e-mails)
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Rei POV
Okay, so this really weird thing happened! We were just sitting in the ice cream parlour, getting sicker and sicker at the sight of Tyson scoffing down every flavour on the menu (seriously, he's been at it for nearly half an hour now!), when I felt something on my knee. At first I just thought it was Kai being a bit sneaky and I quite liked it… That is, until I noticed that both his hands were in sight since he had his arms folded, so I was getting really confused. I thought, 'what the hey, it might just be my imagination' and let it slide for a bit, but then I felt this.. this thing sliding off my knee and going a little bit further up my thigh! I looked down and you will not believe what I found there.
A hand. Not Kai's hand. It was too slender to be Kai's hand and, unless he has three now (how hot would that be? Uhhh, okay.. Not very) anyway, unless he has thee hands, it wasn't him because his were both fully in sight and it wasn't Tyson because Tyson is, first of all STRAIGHT and second of all EATING and so… Oh cripes, I nearly screamed. He was feeling me up. In public. In front of Kai. I still think I might scream. It's too scary to think about! Yes, I used to crush on the guy so much that I'd love to imagine him between my legs but I don't think that's the case any more! I like Kai now – Right? Brain, come on, help me here. Why is it that when my horniness is involved, my brain just phases itself out and lets my penis take over? It's just not fair. Now really isn't the time to be thinking with… Oh bum. I am screwed.
At the moment we're walking through this really massive field that (apparently) leads to Kai's house, though I'm a little sceptical about this; he really doesn't seem the country bumpkin kinda guy. I would have labelled him as a leader of a widely known and feared town gang or something… Oh wait, he is. Anyway, we're walking along… Kai is holding my hand… Ginge keeps looking at us. What does he want? Maybe he's jealous of the fact that his best friend is a complete Sex God, well not that I'd really know – yet, but maybe Ginge doesn't like the thought of me stealing Kai away from him. But then again, it wasn't Kai that he was feeling up in the ice cream shop. Oh. Apparently we're stopping for a minute to sit on this great big log (or is that tree still attached to it?) so that Ginge can be disgusting; IE – have a cigarette.
If it weren't for the smell that Leg Feeler over there is creating with that cancer stick, this would actually be a really nice place to sit and hang out, read a book or eat a picnic. I must suggest this to Kai sometime. Then again, maybe not since he thinks I'm a big enough geek already, I don't want him to think my 'condition' is getting worse. Cue the irate roll of the eyes.
Woah…I just turned my head and WOW! This field is higher up than I first thought, you can see for miles up here! I need to climb this tree to get a better look, it's a good job I'm pretty agile, I'd hate to make a fool of myself. "Sorry!" Yeah, I just kicked bark into Tyson's hair. He's giving me a look as if to say "what the fuck are you doing, you freaking weirdo?" but then again… Yeah. All three of them are looking at me like that. Oh, no, 'The Pervert' is simply staring at my ass. I can tell because the glare that my boyfriend (who is obviously very protective of me) is giving the redhead is a glare that blatantly means something along the vague lines of "keep the hell away, bitch." I love to be fought over, especially by two hot guys like them.
Grrr! Ginge is not hot. Well, okay, maybe a little. If he didn't smoke then he'd be a lot more attractive, maybe I should point this out to him, but then again maybe that would make Kai jealous. I wonder what jealous Kai would be like? I wonder if he's scary and possessive..? I'd like that.
Huh? I've totally gone off track. I was awing at the tremendous beauty of the world and getting lost in it's tremendosity when I started babbling about perverts and envious boyfriends. Great conversation topic, huh. So, back to my awing. It really is super-duper amazing with cherries on top – And I'm starting to think that all that chocolate ice cream was bad for me, I feel a little bit sugar-high. I wonder if Kai finds that hot in a guy? Anyway, from up here I can see for abso-bloody-lutely miles, I think I can even see my house from up here!
… Yeah! There it is! And.. Oh. There's the alleyway where Falcon tried to –
"Ow! Bugger!" I lose my footing while thinking about Satan (Falcon) and not only scrape my knee down the bark, but also – no doubt due to Murphy's Law – my other foot slips, leaving me to clutch onto the tree trunk with my arms and try to gain balance when I hit the log that my friends are seated upon, kicking Tyson in the head on the way. Basically, I fell. It hurt. I physically abused my best friend. Honestly, how much damage can be done to that poor guy in one day?
"Rei, what the hell are you doing?" Ah, he seems a bit pissed at me, maybe he was wondering something along the same lines..? After all, he has already been the sufferer of Brain Freeze, and then to be dumped with the over-powering thought that his best buddy in all the world is dating somebody he hates, plus said somebody he hates then comes and joins him for the day and brings along his git of an antisocial gang member who gets a kick out of scaring little kids and teasing Tyson's fashion sense. Yeah, I guess I'd be pretty pissed if I were in his shoes right now – Not that I'd ever be seen dead in those shoes. Red, white and blue was so last century. Unless you're British and are supporting the cricket, then it's perfectly acceptable. Or American and supporting July fourth. Or… Okay Rei, the "Shut Up!" bell is ringing.
"Sorry." I smile sheepishly, not failing to notice that Kai is checking me over to see if I'm okay. I love him. He won't admit it verbally while there are other people around to witness it, but he really does care about me. I can tell. Hopefully I won't be a virgin for long – Huh? Did that slip out? Great, now I'm turning into Pervy Teen of the Century. No, no I'm not. Ginge still holds that title, I just felt his hand on the back of my leg while I stepped over the log. Kai, please help me! I give Ginge a steady glare as if to say 'back off, perv', but I'm not sure he's getting it.
… No, he's definitely not getting it. He just winked at me. What on Earth am I supposed to do? Do I tell Kai that his so-called best friend (who has very pretty blue eyes) is hitting on me, or do I leave it and hope that Kai notices and sorts it out himself? Do I even want it to be sorted out? I could be like that sexy secretary woman in that film, you know, where she sleeps with those two guys in her office thingy, but one of them is kinda evil. Then again, doesn't that film end with the bad guy finding out that she's been sleeping with someone else and killing the good guy and taking the sexy secretary away and torturing her or something..? Or maybe I'm mixing up my films, but that would make one hell of a movie, ne?
However, that's quite a creepy thought, so I'm going to be really smooth and change the subject in a really smooth way like the boyfriend of a total SEX GOD should.
"So, are we going to go to the movies later or are we just going to hang out at yours?" I ask with (what Kai calls) a cute smile on my face. I can feel Tyson rolling his eyes at me behind my back though, he is so jealous. Not of the fact that I have Kai or that Kai has me, but just that we have each other. I know that Tyson has wanted a girlfriend since feck-knows-when but he is too picky and seems to hate every single girl that likes him, so he appears to render himself loveless. Poor sod. I recommend having a lover, I really do. It's a great laugh. I hope Kai doesn't mind me staying over at his place tonight, and I also hope that Tyson won't mind me saying that I'm staying at his, and I really hope that he doesn't mind the fact that I am going to stay at Kai's instead of at his. Damn, I'm such a bad friend.
Kai seems to be pondering over my question. I love the way he ponders. I haven't told him this because he'll get all self-conscious about it and stop doing it but… When he thinks about something he pouts slightly and it is the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life. I love him so much!
"I don't really care one way or the other." Kai responds in a very non-caring voice that truly fits his statement. I am on the very brink of being offended, and probably would have been had he not quickly redeemed himself. "It's up to you." He adds hastily, noticing my verging-on-irritated expression. I sweetly turn it into a smile and hope I don't come off as too needy like "I am Rei, please me or die." I'd hate to be like that. I'm not am I?
Since I have managed to spend the whole day being a complete pig to my best friend, I turn to him and take in his stance. He still looks pissed off with me. "Hey Tyson, so what do you want to do?" I ask, loving the feel of being nice. I am such a nice, lovely, kind person that everyone should want to be my friend, and if they didn't I'd ask them why, and if they couldn't come up with a good enough reason, I'd set Kai on them. I love this new found almost-authority… I also love to abuse it.
Tyson looks up at me from his seat on the log and offers an appreciative smile. There, I just love to make people happy – maybe that's my meaning of life. I was put on Earth to bring others happiness! Or maybe not since that doesn't seem important enough for me, I want people to appreciate me, and moreover, I want people to appreciate my artwork. I really want another portfolio to showcase all the new stuff I've drawn but my parents don't understand how I managed to fill the last one up no matter how many times I've tried to explain that I am "an artiste".
"I guess I was kinda looking forward to going to that movie…" My navy-haired friend grins around a little, but soon stops as he remembers who he is with. I return the grin with a bright one of my own, but neither me or Tyson fail to notice that both the others are glaring each other down into the ground. Man, if looks could kill I honestly don't know who would be more dead! Tyson stands up and looks me in the eye. "What is with them Rei?" He mutters at me as if expecting an answer. Yeah, like I know. I shrug my reply and take the opportunity to distract my red-eyed hunk of a man away from Ginge before they start the spitting and circling; that would be one hell of an ugly sight.
Me and Tyson watch in surprise as Kai gives one last look of complete disapproval to his friend (?) before turning and taking hold of my hand and practically dragging me away. So this is what a jealous Kai is like! Aww, he's so sweet and protective and… Hurting my hand slightly since he's holding it so hard. Still, love is love and I love him. Lots. I glance over my shoulder to see Ginge sighing with a little too much rage for my liking and looking heatedly disappointed as he lights up another cigarette. I'm really beginning to wonder what's going on; Kai and Tala seem to be having some sort of… Feud.
Over… Me.
Today is going to be one hell of a long day.
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Well, after a really long and shitty day, I am sat on my make-shift bed on Tyson's floor, reading the evening newspaper. My eyes are a bit red and my eyelashes are still stuck together, but yours would be too if you'd been crying as much as I have. Kai is an idiot. I can't believe I loved… I love him. I feel so dumb, I mean… Why the hell would Kai really have gone for a geek like me? What was I worth? Getting into bed probably, that's what. Well I'm so glad I didn't go that far with him now, it would have been my worst ever mistake. I'm not speaking to him ever again. I am officially not talking to either of them, I don't like them any more. Especially Kai. I absolutely refuse to talk to him.
Want to know why?
Flashback
"That film was lame." Ginge said, being the first to speak since that dismal movie ended. We were just leaving the cinema and, no matter how bored we all were in there, I think that I was the only one to come out with a scowl on my face and it wasn't because of that stupid film.
"Rei… Are you alright?" Kai asked me in a tone that I couldn't even tell if it was sincere or not. I glared at him as hard as I could and walked off, motioning for Tyson to follow me. I know I was acting like a girl, but that was the easiest way to get over my complete heartbreak. Not that my heart was breaking, I was just really pissed off. Kai watched me leaving and out the corner of my eye I could see the look of disappointment on his face, possibly mixed in with a little bit of shock and... Hurt? I doubted it. He doesn't care about me anyway.
While we were in the movies, I was sat in between Kai and Tyson, and Ginge was on the end next to Kai. We were all laughing (except Kai, he was just smirking) over how crappy the film was when I saw out of the corner of my eye that Kai was… was… holding hands with Ginge! I wanted to walk out right then but I sat through the whole stupid ordeal feeling absolutely rubbish instead. My boyfriend is a player and he doesn't really want me at all, I don't know what to do now and I'm so pissed off that I think I'm going to puke. I'm tempted to get back at him by making out with Ginge in front of him but I really don't think that will help anything. To hell with it.
"Uh, Rei?" Tyson looked at me with a worried look on his face but I kept my head down and carried on walking, I knew I had tears in my eyes by then so I decided I was just going to keep walking and not let anyone see that I was affected by any of that… Stuff. Then, Tyson grabbed me by my shoulder so I had to stop walking; we were round the other side of the building by then though so at least Kai and Ginge wouldn't see me being 'pathetic'. I sighed and forced myself to look at my best friend, just as a tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. "Rei?" Tyson repeated. He looked so worried but it was obvious he didn't really know what to do. After all, he's barely used to having girls crying at him, let alone guys. I must have looked so stupid.
"I'm fine." I muttered, brushing my tears away and sighing. Who was I kidding? The past few months of my life have been a complete lie! On that note, I'm committing suicide tomorrow. I hate the world, life sucks. I bowed my head again. "Let's go home." I said reasonably, taken by surprise when I received a hug from Tyson and, although he was only trying to make me feel better, I started crying again… I just wanted my Kai back.
End flashback
Load of bollocks, huh. So yeah, I've kinda been crying a lot. I know that it sounds really stupid because all they were doing was holding hands but how am I meant to know that there isn't anything else going on behind closed doors? How am I supposed to know where I stand? I don't know what to do, I really don't. I'm so annoyed at being played around with, I'm not a fucking toy!
I have so much on my mind that I'm not even hungry, even though the smells from the kitchen are mouth-wateringly delicious. Tyson's stomach grumbles loudly as the scent wafts through the open doorway and into his room, making him blush a little afterwards. He's a really great friend, you know, I don't know where I'd be without him. I sigh, folding the paper up and lying down on my back, staring at the ceiling. My navy haired friend turns away from chatting to his friends on the internet to look at me, raising a quizzical brow.
"You okay buddy?" He asks with a reassuring smile. I nod, being reminded of exactly why I used to have a crush on him. I'm going to have to find him a really great girlfriend to make up for all this crap I've put him through with my problems. It's since I became friends with Kai, that's when all the problems started. If it weren't for Kai, I never would have got attacked by Falcon either, even though I hadn't even got together with Kai at that point I still kinda hold him responsible since he's the one that noticed me. If I had been left completely unnoticed then maybe everything would be fine, I'd still be the unnamed art geek in the third year at Shouchikubai Shithole. I'd go back to that day for anything, just to be back to where I used to be, after all I really don't feel like I've progressed in anything. Except psychology. And my love life. And the fact that I'm braver than I used to and I'm getting better grades in classes and that I always seem to have a smile on my face.
Thud.
That was my head hitting the wall, by the way. Tyson is pulling me away from it now though, muttering about depression. I don't see myself as depressed, I just feel that I ought to talk to the one person I love more than anyone else since this is no doubt my only chance at love. If Kai breaks it off with me then that is it, I may as well die. But Kai is scamming on me with somebody who flirts with me. Okay, I used to think it was a strange triangle, but now it's a really strange triangle.
"Kai likes Ginge. Ginge likes Kai. They both like me. I like both of them… I think. Help me Tyson, I'm going to die otherwise." I mutter, earning myself a confused look from my friend.
"You like them both?" He repeats in disbelief. I nod, proving that I really am crazy since I like two guys who have both hurt me in the past and today. I'm nuts. Completely nuts. "You're nuts." Tyson confirms. I sigh, lying back down on the bed and making sure I face away from anything that could put me off what I'd like to say… Namely the blunette sitting opposite my butt.
"D'you think…" I start, hating myself more and more as this crazy idea progresses in my head. "D'you think I could date them both and things wouldn't get complicated?" Oh the lunacy. I know it's a really dumb idea, but it would sure as hell sort things out. It's a love triangle, but everyone likes each other instead of one person liking someone and them liking someone else and that someone else liking you… If you get what I mean. If you do, you're a better man than I since I'm completely lost now.
"I don't know if that kind of thing works out Rei." Tyson tells me slowly as though I'm thick and can't understand. I'm tempted to slam my head against that wall again. Instead, I go for the sensible option.
"You're still on the internet, right?" I ask. Tyson nods, I sigh and despise myself. "Send an e-mail to Kai for me and ask him what's going on." I practically demand (but demanding is okay because it works). I can actually feel Tyson's confused expression so I get up and sit at the computer and give it a blank look.
"Click on the big blue 'E' and it will bring up a new internet screen." He tells me in a 'slightly-too-exasperated-for-my-liking' kinda way. I do as he says and smile for the first time since we got back when the computer does what I wanted it to. "Go to the favourites…" The what? I turn in the chair and give Tyson another of my famous 'wha?' looks. He sighs. "Let me do it Rei."
"The cheek." I mutter, removing my hand from the mouse as he sniggers to himself. "I asked you to do it in the first place and you just played dumb!" I remind him, pretending to be offended. Still, what the hell, I've learned how to open a new internet browser now; another thing I'll have conveniently forgotten by the time we go back to school and have an IT class. Tyson magically makes a blank e-mail appear on the screen and then gives me control of the ship once more. So to speak. Ah… I have a problem. "I don't know his e-mail address." I explain, half feeling amused and half feeling thick as Tyson scowls at me.
"Send it to his school e-mail address then." He suggests as if he expects me to know it. "What's his username?"
"What's his what?"
"His username! Christ Rei, you really don't listen in IT classes do you?" … Um… No. I blush a little and put on a sweet smile, the same one I use to get him to help me with the stupid machines in school. "Okay." He sighs. "What's his full name?"
"Kai Hiwatari." I reply. His full name… Huh! Honestly, doesn't Tyson know anything? Then it clicks. "Ohh, so that Hiwatari-K-whatever-his-numbers-are is his user name thingy?" I ask, feeling proud of myself when Tyson nods.
"You do know the numbers, right?" He practically pleads. Also practically leaping for joy when I grin and nod. "Good boy, type it in then." … Patronising git.
"Hi...wa…tar…i…K...8…9…8." I say aloud as I type, obviously getting on Tyson's nerves a little. But still, he can put up with it, he is, after all, my best friend. After I finish typing I look up at him. "Then what?"
"Then the 'at' sign..."
"You mean this funny looking thing?"
"Yeah, that one."
"Then what?"
"Shouchikubai Technology School dot A C dot com."
"…"
"…"
"How do you spell 'Shouchikubai'?"
"… You've been going there for three years."
He's not very helpful, is he? I glare meaningfully at him and he (being the rude and horrible child that he is) pulls an irate face and points to his school timetable that is stuck to his bedroom wall above his bed. I nod and 'ahh' to show I understand before he bites my head off. I write what he tells me to then glance at him to make sure I've done it right. He reads the e-mail address and gives me the 'go ahead'. I stare at the screen for a minute while I try to formulate some kind of sentence that I'd like to say to him, get as far as 'Hey Kai' then realise that Tyson is still behind me. I glare at him and he walks over to his bed where he sits down and begins reading the newspaper that I threw out of my way a few minutes ago. Right… Here we go.
Hey Kai.
I'm sorry that I walked off without a word, but I'm not sorry that I left.
Nah, that doesn't sound good… Backspace… Let's try that again.
Hey Kai,
I'm sorry that I walked off without a word, but I didn't know what else to do. Where do I stand?
Yeah, this is sounding way better!
I'm really confused as to what is going on, I mean, you say that you love me but then you do something like ignoring me all the way through that stupid film but are happy to hold Tala's hand and not mine. Yeah okay, maybe I'm exaggerating all this and going a bit over the top, but I want to know where I stand in this relationship. Do you still even want a relationship with me? If you don't then say something because I hate this feeling of being left in the dark. I like you a lot and I really, really need to know what's happening. E-mail back as soon as you get this. I love you. Rei xx
Is that 'I love you' a bit too much? Hmm, nah I guess it works, and anyway it's true, I do love him. I click the send button and sigh deeply, minimising the screen – the one thing I learnt to do with a computer. Maximise and minimise. Oh, and close… I'm still a bit shifty with the 'restore down/up' thing though. I mean, what is the point of that anyway? Why would you want a window thingy that's tiny to work on or read stuff off? Exactly. There is no point. I guess I just sit here and twiddle my thumbs now, right?
One minute later
… I'm getting bored already.
Another two minutes later
"Tyson, I don't think he's going to e-mail back." How frustrating. Maybe… No.
Another minute later
But what if… No.
Another two minutes later
Definitely. He is definitely shagging Tala.
Another thirty seconds later
I bet it's because I refused to put out yet.
Another two minutes later
"Tyyyssoonnnnn I'm borrrred!"
"You have remembered to refresh the screen every now and then to see if you have any mail, haven't you Rei?"
… No? "Ah, I have e-mail!"
Eh, I wonder what Kai will have said! I think he's a very clever person for looking at his school e-mails from home, very clever. I'll have to ask him for his home e-mail address now though, otherwise it's just dumb. I'm scared. What will he have said? Maybe I should close my eyes and wait for it to hit me… Or maybe I should just open the freaking e-mail and read it.
Hey Rei, I had a feeling you might have sent an e-mail here. This is actually quite difficult, even for me to type but I'm sorry. As for our relationship, I do want one. I like you a lot, hell, I love you. I've never been in such a good relationship before and I can't believe I've screwed up already. I wasn't ignoring you in the cinema, I just didn't know what to say or do. I didn't know how to act and so I just didn't do anything. I regret showing Tala any affection because I don't think he's the one I want. I'm sorry, I love you too. Kai x
I might just cry again. The sweetness of him apologising makes me want to cry and hug him, but the "I don't think he's the one I want." Also makes me want to cry in a bad way. What does he mean by "I don't think"? Does that mean he's not sure? I'm so confused. I groan loudly, getting the unwanted attention from Tyson – I'd forgotten he was there to be honest. Ack, what the hell do I say back?
"Everything okay Rei?" Tyson asks, proving that he cares about me even if my terrible boyfriend doesn't. I pout and scowl at the same time in reply, making myself look incredibly unattractive, so I lose the scowl and just pout instead, turning back to the screen and finding the 'reply' button.
What do you mean by "I don't think he's the one I want." You mean you're not sure? Look Kai, at the start of everything you said you wanted to be with me so that's what I thought you meant. If you're changing your mind now then tell me, but I'm going to need a good reason. Do you like Tala? Grrr! Just tell me everything, okay? Rei x
I really wish everything was simpler, you know. When I think how today started off and how much of a fantastic mood I was in it really sucks to be feeling like this now. This morning I was so sure that I had the best boyfriend in the world but now I've found out that it wasn't quite true and I'm caught up in the middle and don't have a clue what to do with my thoughts anymore. For the first time since the thing with Falcon, I feel well and truly lost.
"Yeah Tyson, I'm alright." I mutter a late reply to my best pal (who is the best) and now I have an e-mail to concentrate on. Okay Kai, what have you got to say for yourself?
Truth is yes, I do like Tala. It's not something sudden though, I have done for a while and he feels the same way. We made a plan just over a year ago that if/when Bryan was out of the way then we could be a couple, but then I met you and things changed. I still had feelings for Tala and vice versa, but I knew that I could have a real shot at a proper relationship with you, I loved the way you were so down to earth and innocent, it was attractive (and still is). With Tala I was never sure if whatever we could have had would have lasted but I'm still… confused I suppose as to what I want and how I feel.
Once Bryan was sent to prison I felt so relieved, and not because I could have a shot with Tala, but because I knew that you'd be alright after that. When I told Tala that I wanted to be with you, he hated the fact and wouldn't speak to me for a couple of weeks and, in truth, it's a good job you missed some school because Tala was angry and he kept threatening that if he knew where you lived, he would have finished what Bryan started. I hated that I'd caused such a reaction within him since he has always been my closest friend and I know he'd do anything for me. He hates seeing me with you though, since not only is he feeling lonely, but he also found you attractive as I did and he really hates the fact that the two people he liked have gotten together and left him on his own. That's why I held his hand, I was just trying to help him feel better but it looks like I've made things worse for everyone.
I love you Rei, but you will have to accept that I still have lingering feelings for Tala. Kai xx
Wow. So I was right, it is a crazy love triangle. I guess there's an answer to every problem…
I hope the content of this e-mail won't offend you. Firstly, this whole thing is just one great big love triangle. See, I liked Tala before I liked you and I find Tala really cool (apart from his smoking habits) and I find it difficult to believe that he likes me, but you say he did/does. However, I love you loads and wouldn't give up our relationship for the world and I really hope you feel the same, you say you do. And as for you and Tala, well you know where that stands. So um… we all like each other. Maybe we should let it be that way?
I hope Kai cottons on to what I'm suggesting here because I'll be really embarrassed if I have to explain it all, especially if he thinks it's a dumb idea and then isn't so sure that he wants to be with me anymore. That would be awful. Really awful. Sigh. Well, I guess all I do now is wait for the reply…
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