Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Okay…this chapter is shorter than most of the others…its more of a bridge chapter to prepare what is to come in the next chapter. Hehehehe….and I know what it is. I think this fic will be longer than In the Rain. Please review to let me know you are still with me. Thanks.

Chapter 19

Christmas

I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
But I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon

I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There a-holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

--3 Doors Down

Harry sat at the table in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place staring at the pensive he was just in. The memories he explored still swirled in it like a white mist. He shook his head.

"It is a lot to take in Harry," Lupin's soft voice of reason spoke.

Harry looked up at him incredulously.

"A lot to take in?" He stood and began pacing around the room. "I still don't trust him…I never will."

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"It wasn't me that you lost…it was yourself."

Lucius gave nothing away as he looked down his nose at her before finally rising forcing Hermione to sit back on the floor to allow him room to rise. Hermione stood slowly as Lucius began crossing the room to leave. She was unsure of what to call him, so she simply crossed the room swiftly, meeting him at the door. She reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Professor…"

Something snapped the moment she grabbed his wrist. A combination of what had just occurred and the feeling of her hand on him, no matter how insignificant of an area it was, sent him over the edge into a near panic. He was Lucius Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy did not lose control. He swiftly turned on her, so that he now had a hold of her. He bent down to look her in the eyes.

"Miss Granger, you may have recovered some of your memories, but I assure you they are incomplete at best."

Hermione's eyes did not waver from his. She simply looked at him, not with pity or fear, but something Lucius couldn't quite put his finger on.

"That doesn't stop what I do remember," she said in a quiet voice that soon turned into a whisper. "Right now you are the only friend I remember. Please don't take that away…not yet."

Hermione winced as Lucius' grip tightened for a moment. Realizing his increased grip, he let go and stood up straight.

"Good night Miss Granger."

Lucius turned from the room. Lucius was halfway up the stairs at a near run, when he noticed Severus and Draco both standing at the top of the staircase watching his ascension. His eyes caught his son's as he reached the landing. Fear filled Draco to the brim, threatening to burst out.

"Clear your mind Draco. I cannot help you if you are too much of an open book for the Dark Lord."

Like a light switch, Draco's emotions became allusive and his thoughts hard to read. Lucius smiled slightly and nodded in approval. The three stood on the landing where they could see over the balustrade. The firelight from the fireplace set the drawing room aglow and cast the light out the doorway into the foyer. Hermione was moving around in there. As the sight of her shadow pass before the door, Lucius looked at each of his companions standing in the dark with him.

"Let's not keep the Dark Lord waiting."

In a swirl of black smoke, they were gone.

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Hermione was sitting in the drawing room staring into the fire when it hit her. It crept up on her like a predator lying in wait until its ready to spring out on you. It snuck up on her, stealing her breath.

She was alone in the manor.

Feeling the sudden coldness of the manor, she stood and began slowly walking toward her room hoping she would run into someone along the way. She stopped outside Lucius' door. Slowly, she leaned her ear against the hard wooden double doors hoping to Merlin that she would hear some sign of life within. She heard nothing and felt her breath hitch slightly in her throat. Gently she tapped on the door and called for him. When there was no answer, she silently pushed the door open. Her eyes traveled around the magnificent room. Her room was its equal in magnificence. It was empty and held no indication of a recent occupant. Feeling her heart pounding faster and harder she slowly backed out of the deathly silent room.

As she entered her own room, the emptiness of the manor began to close in on her. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned back on the door and slowly slid down toward the floor. With her legs pulled up to her chest she wrapped her arms around them and looked around feeling the panic. Her eyes darted frantically around the darkened room. In the past few days, since losing her memory, she felt as if she were stranded in the middle of the sea…drowning in broken memories, but somehow she found a lifejacket…and now…now that life jacket was gone.

She was alone.

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The three Death Eaters landed in a swirl of black smoke and robes. As soon as the Dark Lord was in sight, they dropped to their knees to show their respect. Lucius immediately noticed they were the only ones in attendance at this meeting. It worried him slightly. Why just them three?

"You may stand."

The three of them rose immediately to their feet.

"I am sure you must be wondering why I brought you here," hissed Voldemort.

"Yes, my lord," said Lucius. "Why have you granted us this privilege this evening?"

Voldemort stopped his pacing around and faced Lucius with a sickly smile.

"Don't worry Lucius; your loyalty is not in question…though it should be considering your connections to two of my Death Eaters whose loyalty is most often questioned." Voldemort's eyes shifted from Severus to Draco, before looking back at Lucius. "No something else, my slippery friend…there is something else."

The three Death Eaters waited as Voldemort resumed his pacing before stopping again.

"I received troubling news today. You Lucius have now had the Fidelius Charm placed on your manor keeping all out with a few exceptions." He nodded toward Severus.

Lucius knew he was expected to answer to that and had planned on its occurrence.

"I had no choice, my lord. With that fool Dumbledore gone, I had to secure my place in the Order with McGonagall. If I did not agree to it my loyalty would have been questioned."

Lucius waited for some sort of response. Voldemort stared into Lucius eyes and he could feel him searching for the truth…or some inkling that he was lying. Lucius was not a top ranking Death Eater for nothing.

"Now, Lucius," Voldemort spoke softly. "Tell me. Why is that Mudblood friend of Potter's staying at the manor with you?"

Lucius felt the panic swell in him, but he immediately quelled it as he looked into the Dark Lord's eyes.

"McGonagall sent her to stay with me. The Mudblood had a magical accident that erased her memory. McGonagall felt she was safe with me."

Lucius smiled at the Dark Lord in such a sickly evil way that Voldemort truly did not question Lucius' loyalty. Voldemort returned the smile.

"And I hear you are opening up the manor for the Christmas ball—no Death Eaters besides you three are in attendance."

Lucius nodded his head in agreement.

"Perfect," Voldemort hissed. "Who is your secret keeper Lucius and I must warn you not to lie. You are aware I will know if you do."

"The werewolf, my lord."

Voldemort's smile grew wider.

"Ah…another one of our own. Very good, Lucius. You will have him tell Jacoby the manor's whereabouts. Jacoby will attend this…ball. That is all you may leave."

Voldemort swatted his hand toward them as if signing for them to go. No one moved yet. The three Death Eaters exchanged looks of curiosity.

"Please, my lord," Lucius spoke up. "What is Jacoby's purpose in attending the ball?"

Voldemort swooped down toward them and straight into Lucius' face where he spoke in that sickeningly quiet voice.

"I want Potter's Mudblood."

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Lucius stood on the corner of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley, package in hand. The shop owner, an old family friend, was waiting for Lucius' arrival late that night to pick it up. Tucking the package into his robe pocket, he felt the mirror and pulled it out.

There she was…alone in his manor.

She lay in the darkness of her room, asleep on the floor. He could see the redness around her eyes and wondered what had her so vexed and then cursed himself for asking. She was lost…no idea who she was and they all left her alone in that manor.

"You have it?"

Lucius turned to notice his son and Severus approaching from the darkened alley. Lucius placed the mirror in his pocket and nodded curtly. After a few minutes of walking, they stepped into the Leaky Cauldron and flooed back to the manor.

Once at the manor, Severus and Draco both headed for bed to try to get what sleep they could for the night. Lucius took the package from his robes, walking over to the magnificent Christmas tree, and placed the small package under it.

The image of her sleeping form on the floor flashed in his mind. He walked right passed his bedroom door and stopped outside Hermione's. In the mirror, she wasn't too far away from the door and he didn't really want to hurt her. Very slowly, he opened the door as far as he could and squeezed through the opening he had.

She lay on the floor in a pool of moonlight. Fear gripped his heart, though he would never admit it. Voldemort wanted her and he wanted her for one reason only. When faced with an enemy, take out the leader and the whole is incapacitated. Hermione was not the "leader" per say, but she was the brains behind it all. In Voldemort's view, making Hermione inaccessible to the others was the equivalent of severing the head.

Lucius gently lifted her up from the floor, carrying her to her bed. For a moment he just stood by her bed. Many years had passed since he last saw this vision of her…so many years. He had no idea when he met the Mudblood right before her second year that she would grow up and not only look exactly as his Hermione had, but actually be his Hermione. It was like fate's cruel joke on him. He turned to leave, but felt her hand grab a hold of his.

"Please, stay. The dreams are just awful."

He looked back and down his nose at her. She had no idea how strange this scene looked, none. There she was reaching out to this man…this man who stood there wearing Death Eater robes and held his mask in one hand. He said nothing. Turning, he placed his mask on the nightstand and draped his robe on a chair. He sat up on the bed, leaning against the headboard wondering when he would appear in her nightmares.

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Christmas morning found the entire manor a flutter of activity. With the ball no longer being days away, but hours away, every house elf was at work. Even more holiday decorations were appearing in nearly every room. Hermione smiled to herself as she entered the drawing room followed by Draco. Severus and Lucius were already sitting in the room enjoying a morning tea.

They watched her curiously, as she sat under the tree and pulled out a gift, handing it to Severus. She knew what the looks were for. No one had taken her shopping. She explained to them that she wrote to the Headmistress inquiring into her financial situation and gift shopping. The Headmistress was able to find her financial information from Mrs. Weasley and Ginny sent her catalogues for shopping by owl.

Severus stared down at the gift in his lap as if it would possibly bite. Slowly and meticulously, he unwrapped the package. Lifting the top on the box, he looked down at a set of black robes. He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"They are charmed to be fireproof," Hermione explained. "I had a strange dream that your robes were on fire and well…I just thought it would be a good idea."

Silence echoed in the drawing room…until Draco's laughter replaced the silence.

"What is so funny, Draco," Lucius asked his son.

Draco stopped laughing the best he could and pointed at Hermione.

"She set Severus' robes on fire in our first year."

Hermione's smile fell. She did what?

"On accident," Lucius asked, wondering what kind of potion they were doing.

"No," Severus replied with the look of someone who just swallowed something rather unpleasant tasting. "She thought I was trying to kill Potter so she set my robes on fire."

Draco's laughter died down. Severus was the only one who did not seem so amused by the story. The gift exchange continued. Draco gave her a nice leather bound personal book entitle The Malfoy Chronicles. This gift was followed by an odd silence from Lucius and an uncomfortable shuffle from Draco. Then Lucius gave Hermione his gift. She unwrapped the burgundy package and took out what it contained.

"A friend of mine was able to acquire that object for me. I know muggles use them instead of the Point me spell so I thought you might appreciate its purpose."

Hermione looked down at the compass she held feeling something akin to the usual connection she felt with Lucius. The compass was gold and engraved on the one side. Her fingers slid over the engraving…a lion with the words "finding your way home." She chuckled slightly.

"You find the gift amusing," Lucius asked.

"No, I don't."

She handed him her gift for him. He unwrapped it to find a compass also. His was silver engraved with a serpent and the words "to help you find your true north." Lucius smiled slightly understanding why she laughed. How strange it was that even now they seemed to have similar thoughts. Turning the compass back over he noticed it did not just have the normal north, south, east, and west labels. There was one labeled "true north."

The rest of the morning's activities passed quickly. Before long, it was time for everyone to begin the process of preparing themselves for the ball.

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Hermione stood in her room wearing a satiny robe staring at the ball gown she found waiting in her room for her. Touching the fabric, she wondered if this were something she would have chosen for herself. A very precise knocking on her door drew her from her thoughts. Lucius walked in.

"Madame Malkin still had your size on file where you bought new robes this year. She helped with choosing the dress. I do hope you approve?"

She smiled and nodded.

"Yes, it's beautiful. I just wish I knew if this were something I would choose. I don't know who I am and it's maddening."

Lucius stepped farther into the room. The way she looked at him was so familiar. He knew that look and in that moment, he realized something. So far, her memories were of her time with him in the past. Right now, based on the few memories she had, she was looking at her best friend. He maintained his cold aristocratic stance as he looked down his nose at her.

"It will come back to you, Miss Granger, just give it time."

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Hermione slowly walked down the curving staircase watching Lucius, Draco, and Severus all watching her. The dress was an icy blue strapless piece that slightly drug the floor behind her as she walked. Her hair was up exposing her neck where a beautiful diamond choker sat. Lucius watched her, his face giving nothing away. She was stunning.

As the first wave of guests arrived, Lucius stood in the foyer with his houseguests and son, greeting the partygoers. He watched her with each guest that entered. Those who knew her greeted her with such warmth, yet her eyes were empty of recognition. Even with Remus, there was no sign of recognition.

"Lucius," Remus greeted him with a nod of his head.

"Remus," Lucius greeted in return. "I trust you gave the information to our little friend."

Remus smiled.

"Yes, Jacoby will be here."

And he was. A few moments later, Jacoby walked in. He greeted Hermione warmly and kissed her hand with that sickly smile of any Death Eater with malicious intentions. Lucius felt the urge to curse him right then. He watched Jacoby disappear into the crowd of people before relieving his son and the others from greeting duty. Severus and Draco disappeared into the crowd taking the same path Jacoby did. Hermione remained by Lucius' side.