Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, Sarah McLachlan or any of the drinks mentioned in this chapter

Full Of Grace
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

---
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath
---

Brooke had been nervous about going over to Logan's dorm that morning. Their conversation on the phone hadn't been stressed or anything but Brooke knew Logan wasn't about to let her drop something as big as a sister on him and not explain anything. She knew how horrible she would feel if Logan suddenly introduced him to his brother who he'd never even mentioned. But in her defence Rory had been living in California for the whole time she'd known Logan and they hadn't been on speaking terms. But still she understood how Logan could think of it as either her not trusting him or even some form of betrayal for not telling him.

Brooke didn't want Logan to have to much time to think this through because she knew he would over think it and this could easily escalate into a huge fight. And so Brooke hurried the last couple of paces until she was standing outside his door. She knocked first, being polite and then walked in like she always did. She didn't Logan in the common room but that didn't worry her as he'd told her he'd probably in his room. He'd explained to her how Finn was starting to creep him out with his over the top cheeriness. Brooke made a mental note to fill him in on everything between Finn and Rory after this whole thing was sorted out.

Brooke stopped outside his door and pressed up closer to it, wondering if she might be able to hear something. Logan had a tendency to start talking to himself when he was thinking about something important. But Brooke didn't hear anything and so she pulled back, bringing her hand up and knocking heavily on his door. Before he could answer Brooke couldn't help but wonder if the reason she didn't hear him was if he'd already moved past the thinking stage and was on the take action stage. And if that was the case then it wasn't a good thing he'd asked her over.

"Brooke?"

Brooke shook herself out of her thoughts and finally noticed Logan standing in the now open doorway. "You called me Brooke," she stated, knowing he only called her that when he was being serious.

"Well I called you other things but you were to busy zoning out to hear me," he teased her.

Brooke laughed and walked into his room, closing the door behind her. She liked that Logan wasn't be different from his normal self…although she did notice the tension between them, which was definitely not of the good. "So what'd you do last night?" she asked, trying her hardest to stall what she knew was inevitable.

"I went to the pub with Collin and Finn," Logan told her evasively. "Where'd you go last night?"

Brooke blinked a few time in a rapid succession in her shock. "Where did I go?" she repeated.

"I swung by your dorm last night; you weren't there," he explained, his face still guarded, which concerned her.

Brooke knew she couldn't best around the bush anymore and so she levelled with him. "I took Rory to Stars Hollow."

Logan nodded along and held out his hand for a second before stepping in. "Rory, that would be your sister?" he asked, knowing he sounded like a jerk but not being able to help it.

"Yes," Brooke said. "Rory is my sister."

"Not Lorelai's though, because she didn't mention anything about her either or maybe that's just it!" he concluded, all his emotion coming to the surface and boiling over.

Brooke could not tell Logan was hurt and she rushed to explain everything to him. "She's my stepsister through my dad. She's been living in California, that's why you never met her."

"But you never even mentioned her. You talked about your town, your mom, Lane and Luke. You even talked to me about your dad and your other stepsister," he told her angrily. He looked away, running a hand through his hair and trying to calm down. "Do you even trust me?" he asked finally.

Brooke shook her head heavily the minute those words left his mouth. She moved closer to him, her blue eyes begging with him to believe her. "I do, Logan," she told him. "I do trust you."

"Cause I thought you did," he continued as if she hadn't said anything. "You told me about Dean, Brooke. You trusted me with that."

"Dean was my ex-boyfriend Logan, Rory's my sister!" she told him. "Things with Rory have always been harder. But last year we had this huge fight and she left and we didn't talk for the whole year."

That knowledge seemed to soothe Logan just a bit, but it was the pain in her eyes and her voice that made him come closer to her. "You would have told me about her if you two had been on speaking terms?" he asked hesitantly.

Brooke smiled widely and laced her fingers with his, stepping even closer to him. "You would have met her first thing," she promised him. "And now that she's staying here you'll meet her officially."

"She's staying?"

"Paris is going to move in with Doyle so she'll be taking her room," Brooke explained carefully, wanting to know how he felt about that. "You'll really like her," she promised him. "She's just like me."

Logan smiled and nodded, leaning down to brush his lips across hers in a gesture so intimate it told her breath away. "Well in that case maybe I'll up and leave you to be with her," he joked, earning himself a smack on the shoulder.

"I love how replaceable I am to you," she replied good naturedly, knowing he was only kidding. "Wouldn't work anyhow."

"Why not?" Logan asked, frowning. "Are you implying I couldn't get your sister to fall madly in love with me? Might I remind you that I got you, very easily."

"Oh please," Brooke scoffed, disregarding his comment with a roll of her eyes. "No matter how charming and suave you are Logan," she told him pointedly. "It would never work."

"Why not?"

"Because I think a certain Australian friend of yours might have a problem with it," she eluded.

"Finn?"

"Oh come on? You didn't think it's just a coincidence that his overly chipper mood started the same day you found out about my sister, who by the way spent her first night here with Finn."

Logan raised an eyebrow, obviously thinking about that for a moment. "How do you know he like's her. Finn's not known for his epic romances," Logan advised her.

"Please, you Yale men are simply helpless against Gilmore girls," she said, puffing out her chest as she walked by him.

"If Rory's your sister through your dad then she's not a Gilmore," he stated making Brooke deflate but only for a split second.

"Just because she doesn't actually have the name doesn't mean she isn't a Gilmore."

"Well, technically yes it does," he told her smartly while sitting down next to her. Brooke only looked at him for a second before shaking her head and falling down on the bed.

---

Outside the warm and inviting Yale dormitories the campus had been slowly turned into a winter wonderland. Huge snowflakes were falling from the sky, sticking to the ground and rather unwilling to melt. The whole scene looked beautiful, like a precious painting that could only have been seen in someone's imagination but it was real.

Rory and Finn's intimate moment had been broken by the little flakes when they first started their downwards descent. Rory had always been a firm believer that snow made everything just a touch more magical. Especially for her because living in California, you didn't see snow a lot or practically at all. She'd eagerly sat up after Finn had rolled off of her, with her mouth open hoping to catch some of the flakes on her tongue. When she'd turned around to face Finn again she'd noticed that he had been staring at her with an amused expression on her face. Rory had only laughed and threatened to initiate another snowball war, to which Finn had stood up and offered his hand to her.

The two young adults were now walking along the campus, hand in hand, enjoying the afternoon. Rory's mind was buzzing; it kept going back to the kiss and replaying it back to her, over and over again. She couldn't believe that one kiss was affecting her so much. She'd kissed a lot of guys and done a lot more with them, considering her past but never had she felt like this. Even after it had happened she still felt goose bumps along her arms and down her spine. Just thinking about it made her heart start to beat faster and head cloud over. Rory couldn't help but keep looking over at Finn, wondering if he was feeling the same things, wondering if his hand was tingling like hers was.

"So where to luv?" Finn asked, breaking the silence that had been lingering over them, not that it had been anything but comfortable.

Rory looked at him and then let he eyes wonder over the campus. She's only been hear a couple times and none it the past little while. "I think it's safer if you choose," she told him.

Finn tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at her. "Safer?" he asked.

"Trust me," she said, a slight lilt in her tone.

"Well alright then," Finn said and gently pulled her to the right and down another pathway. "I believe I'll take you to the pub. Might meet some of my friends," he exclaimed, happy to have her company for a little while longer.

"Friends?" Rory question, grinning from ear to ear. "And hear I thought you were hanging around me because you didn't have any."

"Well look at that, we've got a comedian in our midst!" he exclaimed happily as the two of them walked straight to the entrance into the pub.

Rory entered the small local first, while Finn held the door open behind her. She stood at the entrance, letting her eyes fly over the whole establishment, a genuine smile spreading across her features. She took in the darker corners, the closely knit tables and booths, the bright and richly stocked bar, feeling completely at ease in the welcoming and friendly atmosphere.

"You like?" Finn questioned by her right ear, making a shiver zip down her spine.

Rory nodded and leant back into him, just slightly. "I love it," she told him truthfully.

Finn smiled and placed his hand on Rory's back, guiding her farther into the pub, where he easily saw a booth occupied by none other then Stephanie and Collin. He saw them wave at him and then watched as Collin pointed at Rory and then Stephanie looked her over once. Finn rolled his eyes at their not so subtle antics and stopped Rory from walking any more and stepped in front of her.

"Hey listen, there's a couple of my mates here but I totally understand if you want to go sit somewhere else," he explained, catching her eye.

Rory almost melted at his thoughtfulness but she found herself shifting up onto her tip toes to see his friends. All she saw was a guy and a girl staring straight at them and she smiled before looking back at Finn. A little part of her wanted to spend the night with him in small secluded area but the more curious part of her wanted to meet his friends. "You're sweet," she started and then motioned over at the table behind him. "But I think I want to meet your friends."

Finn nodded his head. "I'm glad," he told her, starting to walk over there but talking quietly into her ear. "I think Stephanie would have had a coronary if we didn't sit with them."

The minute either of them got within a foot of the table, Stephanie had already pounced on them. "So Finny, who's your friend?" she asked in a sugary sweet tone.

Finn cringed but falling back onto his many years of proper upbringing he motioned from Stephanie to Rory. "Steph this is Rory, Rory this is Stephanie Grant."

Rory smiled politely and shook the blonde girls offered hand before sitting down in the other side of the booth. "It's nice to meet you," she said automatically, having been made to say that to everyone her mother had every introduced to her.

"You to," Stephanie said sweetly and then turned to Finn but when he didn't say anything she rolled her eyes. "Obviously Finn's forgotten his manners," she commented dryly.

"I introduced you!" he exclaimed in his own defence.

"What about Collin?" she asked, pointing at the guy sitting next to her who kept looking between Rory and Finn.

"We've already met," Collin filled in, speaking for the first time since their arrival. "Rory."

Rory smiled, not as brightly when she'd greeted Stephanie but still smiled. "Hi," she greeted, meeting his eyes and forcing herself to not look away. If there was one thing in the whole world she could get rid off it would have to be her inexplicable fear to any male when she first met them.

Finn had noticed the quiet exchange between them and thought back to the morning when Rory had met Collin. He moved his hand from the booth's cushion and grabbed Rory's hand underneath the table, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "So," he addressed the table whole heartedly, "how about drinks all around?"

Collin drummed his hands on the table top and turned to Steph. "I'll get them this time. What do you want?" he asked directly.

The blonde thought for a moment before she smiled and bounced a bit giddily. "A blue cosmopolitan," she answered.

Collin quickly turned to Rory and pointed at her, silently asking the same question. "Umm," Rory paused trying to think of what she would like to drink. "A margarita," she finally settled on.

Collin slid out of the booth and started to head over to the bar when Finn yelled out to him. "Hey! Get me a Bundy'nCoke, mate!"

As Collin headed on over to the bar and Finn returned his attention to the table again he noticed the confused looks on both girls faces. "What's wrong?" he asked after a second.

Stephanie nodded her head over in the direction of the bar. "What did you order?" she asked, scrunching up her nose.

"Rum and coke," he said, obviously not catching onto why they were so confused. "Bundaberg rum," he explained further.

Rory laughed and leaned her elbow on the table. "You Aussie's and your slang," she exclaimed.

"They're from a whole other world," Stephanie commented, earning a dry look from Finn, which she ignored and kept her attention on Rory. "So when did you meet Collin?" she asked just as the man in question returned to the table laden with four drinks, which he passed around.

Rory looked up at the question, a little surprised as she thought that was what Collin had been telling her when he'd first seen them. "Well actually…I met him yesterday, morning."

Stephanie almost choked as she sipped at her blue drink, quickly covering it up with a couple of coughs. When she finally settled down she realized she had the attention of every at the table along with a couple other people who were seated near them. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, nervously stirring her drink.

Collin who had been staring at her with his eyebrow raised in a questioning manner, sighed out and leaned back, sliding his arm across the back of the booth. Rory watched him, noticing the way he let it slip down until it was resting slightly against the blondes shoulders. She smiled mischievously from behind her tall glass.

"Rory didn't have anyplace to stay, so I let her crash in my room," Finn explained, clearly understanding what was wrong with his two friends seated opposite them.

Collin was about to comment on that but held his tongue when he caught sight of Finn's expression. His friends' normally happy and smiling face was glaring at him in a silent warning, his brown eyes boring into him. "So Rory," he announced loudly, making Rory jump slightly as she looked up at him. "What brings you to Yale?"

"Umm, well," she whispered and then turned back to Finn who just shrugged in response. "I'm actually here to visit family," she told him rather vaguely.

Stephanie twisted her expression and fixed Rory with a sympathizing look. "I guess condolences are in order," she said sarcastically.

Rory cracked a real smile, finally having found something that she could relate to with Finn's friends. "Well actually not now," she told them. "But keep those sentiments until before I go back home and I'll be happy to have them."

The perky blonde laughed, nodding her head vigorously. "I'll be sure to do that," she promised, her soft brown eyes lighting up with laughter, making Rory a lot more comfortable around her. "I have the same relationship with my parents."

From beside Stephanie, Collin raised his drink into the air in a boastful manner. "I'll drink to that!" he exclaimed and they all laughed, sipping out of their glasses.

"We've all got problems like that, kitten," Finn added, feeling the affects of his now empty glass already.

Collin sat his glass down on the table and laid his arm out, pointing it at Rory. "So where is home for you?" he asked, always curious about new people, especially now that Finn seemed to be so protective of her.

Rory looked into his eyes, thinking that if he had asked her that no more then five minutes ago she probably would have been reluctant to tell him but now she felt sort of relaxed among this crowd now. "California," she said, "Los Angeles, actually."

Stephanie squealed and clapped her hands together. "Wow! I've always wanted to live in LA," she told Rory.

Collin scrunched his eyes together and turned in his seat to face her. "Why?" he asked.

Both Rory and Stephanie rolled their eyes at the same time. "Rodeo drive!" Stephanie told him, smacking his shoulder lightly. She then looked over at Rory and smiled genuinely. "So what family are you happy to visit?" she asked her, drifting back to their previous topic of conversation.

Rory smiled despite herself and glanced over at Finn who was watching her closely. "My sister actually," she said. "And I'm not just visiting."

"Does she go here?"

Rory nodded to Steph's question. "I'm going to move in with her, in her dorm."

Finn took that moment to step in and tugged a little on her hand underneath the table, gathering her attention. "Why don't you take some classes here love," he suggested.

Stephanie had been surprised to see Finn propose that and let her gaze instantly switch to Rory, who looked like she felt the same way. But unlike Finn Steph also noticed the flash of panic that swept across the brunettes face and she didn't know why but she felt the need to change the subject. She wasn't really sure but she liked Rory and it would be great to have a third girl around.

"Ooh! Who's your sister? I wonder if I know her?" she exclaimed, smiling through Rory's grateful look.

Finn, who had been easily snagged by the question and distracted from what he was suggesting to Rory, looked elated. "Well actually love, you do know her."

"She does?" Collin asked, looking from Rory to Stephanie.

Rory chose that moment to cut in. "You all do," she said. "My stepsister, Brooke Gilmore?" she said in a more questioning tone.

Stephanie stared at her, without moving, speaking or blinking for a moment before she opened her mouth to say something but closed it right away. She lifted her hand up, pointing her finger at Rory and closing her eyes for a second. "Brooke?" she repeated and Rory nodded her head. "Your sister?"

"Stepsister."

Collin had had the exact same reaction as Stephanie and he looked over at Finn's smirking face. "Did Brooke ever say anything…?"

"She wouldn't have," Rory answered his question easily, casually draining her glass. "We weren't really on speaking terms for the past year, so I doubt she would say anything about me," she explained already expecting their confused looks.

"What were you fighting about?" Stephanie asked, finally moving past her shock at finding out that Rory was Brooke's sister. Unlike the guys at the table Stephanie was the only one who had known that Brooke had a stepsister. Brooke had told her during one of their girl's nights but she hadn't told Steph her name or where she lived or anything.

Rory once again cringed at their questions, looking down into her empty glass and wishing she could have another one in her system to give her a little more courage. "She…umm," she stammered, trying to think of something to tell them. "She wanted me to move out here but I stayed in California," she said, not feeling as tremendously guilty because that was part of the truth.

"So what do you do?" Collin asked.

Rory's eyes went wide at the question. "Do?"

Steph had once again seen the expression on Rory's face and she smacked Collin for the second time that night. "I think he means do you work or something?" she asked, drawing her eyebrows together when Rory's panicked expression didn't go away only intensified and she could see the girl scrambling to find something to say.

"I…worked," Rory told them, averting her eyes from theirs and untangling her hand from Finn's grasp, feeling guilty about lying to him. "In sales." That was her fall back option in case anyone ever asked her what she did, but the questions till managed to throw her each time she heard it.

When Rory finally turned her head back to the group, she met Finn's eyes first and she saw the tiniest flash of hurt inside the brown depths before it was gone. She wanted nothing more then to grab his hand again but he'd laid them both on the table in front of him and so she couldn't.

Steph was acutely aware of the tension now settling thickly over their table and she rushed to find something to divert it. "How about more drinks?" she asked, seeing as everyone's glasses were empty.

Everyone at the table looked up at hr outburst, grateful though as it was. They all signalled for another drink and Steph stood up and slid out of the booth but made no move to head towards the bar. "Collin?" she asked.

The man in question turned to look at her. "What?" he asked dryly.

"Why don't you and Finn go get the drinks?" she asked, a plan beginning to form in her mind. "And Rory and I can head to the little girls room."

Rory's head snapped up at her name and she met Steph's hazel eyes and nodded. "Okay," she agreed readily.

Finn had gotten out of the booth to, so that Rory could slide out after him. The four of them now stood just in front of their table all looking at each other. "Why do we have to get the drinks?" Collin asked.

"Because," Stephanie argued weakly, trying to think up something, "…because you're big, strong and strapping men while we're mere little…girls?"

"Try again," Colin ordered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well you see," Rory jumped in, having slowly returned to her normal self when she was no longer the centre of attention again, "I was brought up in a strictly, sexist society."

"LA?" he asked, tilting his head to the side in an air of disbelief.

Rory nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yes and I was taught that women can do nothing for themselves."

"Which means you have to get our drinks while we go to the bathroom," Steph finished for her, grinning from ear to ear in triumph.

"Rubbish!" Finn cried out dramatically. "How can you go to the bathroom by yourselves then?" he asked, finding a loophole.

"Girls never go to the bathroom by themselves, or have you not noticed?" the blonde asked, stumping them once again. "Face it; women are merely on this planet to look pretty."

Rory felt like laughing at that very moment, knowing that this was probably the only time in her life when she would agree to that, having always been a very independent woman. "We'll be right back," she told them and followed Stephanie to where she guessed the bathrooms were.

The two girls walked directly to counters, looking into the mirror to check their appearance merely by habit. Rory could see that her hair was still damp from the snow and she threaded her fingers through it making sure it didn't tangle or anything. She could tell Stephanie was watching her, having seen her turn towards her in the mirror but mostly she could feel her eyes on her, studying.

"I can't believe I didn't see the resemblance," she said at last, shaking her head in what looked like surprise.

Rory stopped fussing with her hair and turned to look at the girl beside her. "Not a lot of people do, especially when they don't know we're even related," she explained.

Steph nodded her head and seemed to be in deep thought about something. She averted her eyes from Rory and instead looked into the mirror, watching her own reflection. "Brooke told me about you," she finally said in a quiet voice.

Rory looked surprised. Her blue eyes bulged out for a second before she exhaled loudly and leaned back against the counter, careful to avoid the parts dampened by water. "I didn't think she told anyone," she admitted.

"It wasn't in detail or anything. She just told me that she had a stepsister and that you guys weren't really speaking." Stephanie pushed away from the counter and walked out into the small bathroom, starting to pace back and forth in a nervous habit she had. "I'm sorry about earlier," she finally said, stopping and facing Rory.

"For what?"

Steph rolled her eyes but laughed happily all the same. "Nice bambi act," she told her, a smile lighting up her eyes. "Collin and I are just a little protective over Finn."

Rory smiled innocently and genuinely at the same time. "Finn's really great. I've never met another guy like him," she gushed, feeling herself go warm just thinking about him.

Stephanie stared at her for a moment, making the brunette more then uncomfortable until a wide grin spread across her face; baring two rows of gleaming white teethe. "You like him," she stated.

Rory was shocked to hear that and she sputtered for a moment, her heart and her mind racing a mile a minute. "I...do not," she finally managed to choke out, not convincing herself in the least.

Stephanie smirked and walked over. "You might wanna work on that act a little more," she advised. "Not that it matters!"

Rory looked at her sceptically. "Why not?" she asked, hesitantly.

"He likes you to," she told her, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Rory couldn't stop the blush that tinted her cheeks as her mind instantly replayed the kiss from just a mere hour ago in her head. She shook her head but said nothing to refute what Steph had told her, knowing it would be a lost cause. She then finally looked up and saw the smug look on the blonde's face and she felt a smirk of her own creep up. "I guess you would be the one who would know for sure," she said vaguely, turning back to the counter and uselessly washing her hands.

Stephanie's curiosity had been piqued and she walked back over, standing closely to Rory. "What do you mean?"

Rory laughed, walking past her to get some paper towel to dry her hands off. "Well what with you and Collin," she told her.

Stephanie bit back her next words and sagged against the waist-high counter, shaking her head. "How?" Was the only word she uttered.

Rory shrugged and walked over to Stephanie, pacing a friendly hand on her shoulder. "You spark," she told her simply.

Steph looked up and she smiled. "So do you and Finn," she told her matter of factly.

The two girls stood together for a minute, alone in the bathroom of a random pub on the Yale campus. Rory would have never thought her life would ever lead her back here. She never would have thought she'd be in this kind of position, in the place of power in her life. She'd finally gotten out of the life she'd had in California, she'd gotten so far out she'd moved across the country!

Then, as Stephanie and her walked out of the girl's bathroom and back towards the table, talking about nothing important, something inside Rory clicked. She didn't know what it was, or why it happened but she knew what it meant.

She fit.

She fit in this world, with these people. She had everything she'd always wanted in her grasp and it felt better then she ever could have imagined.

And as she sat back down in the booth, sipping on her second drink for the night and talking animatedly with people she hoped she could call her friends, everything in the world made sense.

Because for once she wasn't questioning it.

---
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
---

Very sorry for the long wait for this chapter but it just didn't seem to come out right. I think I'm finally happy with it though. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys are amazing and I love you all! You rock!

Just a little note: This is going to be the last update for about three weeks or so because I'm going on vacation and I won't have access to a computer but I will write lots and update the day I get home!

Hugs and Kisses,

-Ella