Chapter 1: Shock
A/N: Enjoy! Please read & review. This chapter involves the families of Matt and Mary.
It was a typical rainy January day in New York City. Sarah Camden found that she enjoyed watching the droplets splash onto the windowpane in her kitchen, which overlooked from three stories above Greenwich Village. It reminded her that it was expected to be lazy, and the ambiance was comforting. Even when the day was already off to a hectic start.
"Mike, you have to get up, honey!" Sarah called to her eldest child, whom she was certain was still sprawled under his comforter with a pillow covering his head. She turned to her daughter, who was poured over her geometry textbook on the island counter and munching on a Toaster Strudel at the same time. "Abby, sweetie, I'm glad you're taking studying for midterms seriously, but if you don't get a move on it, all that cramming will be for nothing." Abby grunted in reply, and stood from the stool she was seated on, slowly ambling down the hall connected to her bedroom. "Jeff, turn off the TV and come make your lunch." Her youngest son whined and switched off the television set.
At that moment, Matt had entered the kitchen, carrying his briefcase. "Another jovial morning in the Camden house?" He helped himself to the fridge and pulled out the carton of milk.
"How nice of you to notice. Would you like to give me a hand?" Sarah moved aside for her son to remove a brown paper bag from the cupboard below her.
"Sure, no problem." Matt reached for one of the cupcakes Sarah was frosting.
Sarah playfully slapped his hand. "Nice try. Are you almost ready to take Jeff?"
Matt laughed and rubbed his hand. "Ready whenever he is. By the way, remind me, why are my teenage son and daughter taking a taxi all the way to Long Island when they can simply bum a ride with their dear old dad?"
"Because we may end up in family counseling if I don't let them. Besides, with all those extra hours you've picked up at night, funding it shouldn't be a problem." Sarah patted Matt on the back as she walked over to the cupboard to fetch a Tupperware container for the cupcakes.
In the middle of their spousal argument, Mike emerged from the hallway, still clad in his pajamas and rubbing his eyes. "I was having an amazing dream that I was on vacation in the tundra and didn't have to get out of bed all day."
"Well, you can dream the day away when you and your sister are back at ten. Here's some money for the cab and to pick something up afterward. I have a meeting nine-thirty, so I won't be around to wait on you." Sarah handed her son three twenty dollar bills.
Mike accepted them, and continued groaning, "What's the freaking point of getting up at the crack of dawn to take one lousy test?"
"Well, it's a good thing your attitude is top notch," Matt quipped, ruffling his son's hair.
Mike pulled away. "Don't even start."
At that point, Abby returned, dressed in a New York Knicks hooded sweatshirt and jeans, with her book bag hanging on her shoulder. "Well, that's cute, but you know how McClelland feels about any clothes that are mildly comfortable."
"You know too much." Mike playfully jostled his sister as he reluctantly walked back to his bedroom. Abby rolled her eyes and followed him.
"Come here, Jeff, you have to have something besides a Pop Tart for breakfast," Sarah said, taking a banana from the fruit basket in the middle of the island. The entire time, Matt and Sarah hadn't even noticed their youngest child shoving several chocolate-frosted doughnut holes into his pocket.
"Gag me," Jeff moaned, halfheartedly accepting to piece of fruit. Sarah smiled and mocked him.
"Have a good day," she said, kissing her son on his head.
"How 'bout me?" Matt said. Sarah laughed and kissed her husband as well. A minute later, father and son were out the door.
"No, we're going to Panera!" Sarah heard her son saying as he came back into the kitchen.
"French cuisine at ten o'clock? It's not even open then, smart one!" Abby cried.
"Well, we're not going to IHOP. Last time we were there, there was a gnat on my poached egg!"
"Yeah, I know, Mike, you thought you had West Nile for a month! Tell me something I don't know."
Sarah willed herself not to reach for the bottle of Advil in the cupboard. "Okay, guys, you can settle this amongst yourselves as you thumb a lift."
Mike and Abby continued arguing, and each yelled, "Bye, Mom!" in the process. Finally they were out the door, and to say that Sarah enjoyed the silence ringing in her ears would have qualified as the understatement of the year.
Mary Rivera adjusted her sunglasses as she drove her Ford Escape SUV along the streets of Long Island. "Oh, by the way, Charlie's coming home for the weekend," she informed her husband.
"You didn't mention that," declared Carlos.
"Oh, well, I was going to, but I got kind of . . ." Mary smiled slyly. ". . . distracted last night."
Carlos knew what that look meant. "Oh, yeah." He cracked a smile as well.
"Sick," came a voice from the back of the car.
Mary smirked at her thirteen-year-old son into the rearview mirror. "Anyway, he was going to surprise us, but he-"
"Ran out of cash for a cab?" Logan immediately speculated.
Mary laughed. "Good guess. I thought the three of us would pick him up, maybe have some wings at Champs, go to Starbucks afterward . . ."
"Honey, he's probably gonna be wiped out and want nothing more than to grab a bag of Cheetos and play his X-box," Carlos pointed out.
"Yeah, and not to mention that the point guard of the basketball team probably doesn't want to be seen with his mommy, daddy, and kid brother on a Friday night. Imagine how that would look to his groupies."
"Logan!" Mary exclaimed. "Hey, I know college guys. They want nothing more than to act like children from time to time. Who else is going to refill his advantage card? Just remember that when your time rolls around, buddy." She pointed at Logan in the mirror. "You want something from me, you do the time." At that moment, she pulled into the driveway of Lincoln Middle School, and drove around to the front doors.
"I hate to tell you, Mom, but there are other ways to scrape up cash other than swindling your parents. Me, I'll be going straight to Uncle Simon."
"I wouldn't count on it. Your uncle discovered credit when he was in college, and it kind of grew on him. Now, get outta here." Mary smiled. "I love you."
Logan leaned toward the front of the car and kissed his mother on the cheek. "Love you, too. Bye, Dad." He grabbed his book bag and opened the door.
"Bye, son," Carlos said.
Mary pulled the car out of the school parking lot and glanced at her watch. "Ya know, you have a lot of paperwork to do, and I have some minor errands to run. What do you say I come over when I'm done, and help you take a break?" She winked.
Carlos laughed. "What is wrong with us? We're in our forties, and the sun isn't even up yet."
"I'm my parents' daughter," Mary reasoned with a smile. "What else?"
"Are you sure you guys will be okay?" Sarah asked as she set her packed suitcase down. "Last chance."
Matt picked up the suitcase and put it in back her hand. "Sarah, I promise I can handle it. It's just a two-day conference, and they'll only be in school one of the days."
"That's what worries me," Sarah joked, but her voice held a hint of seriousness.
Matt laughed. "Get going, or you'll miss your plane. I'm telling you, we don't need you." He put his hands on his wife's shoulders and guided her toward the door.
"I love you," Sarah said with a smile in her voice, her back still facing him.
"I love you, too." Matt turned her around, kissed her on the lips, and hugged her for a second. "I wish I could go with you. We could both use a vacation."
"Yeah, I know." Sarah put her arms around his neck. "It's too bad that Mike isn't old enough to housesit, and the only place the kids would have to stay is Mary's. Don't want to invite another disaster."
"Yeah." Matt nodded, and they both silently remembered two years earlier, when Jeff had ended up with a cast on his arm after roughhousing with his cousin Logan. "Maybe this summer. Now, go. We'll be fine."
"I'll call you when I get to the hotel. Don't forget that Jeff has soccer practice in the morning-"
"And Abby has a national honors society meeting. See, I listen more than you think." At that, Matt walked his wife down to hail a cab.
A few hours later, Matt was pretty proud of himself. His wife hadn't been gone long at all, and he had already cooked a dinner of hotdogs and corn, loaded the dishwasher, and put in a load of laundry. Now, he was rewarding himself with the night off from work and a movie with his son.
He was about to take Jeff to the video store when the phone rang. Groaning, he checked the caller ID. "That's weird." The screen read the name and number of Sarah's colleague, Eileen Sanders. She and Sarah were supposed to already be in Boston. He picked the phone up from its cradle and pressed the talk button. "Hello?"
"Dad, I'm ready!" Jeff said, coming into the kitchen with his jacket on.
Matt held up his hand to signal that he would talk to him in a minute. "Eileen, is that you? . . . What? . . . Wh-What happened? . . . Okay, Okay, I'm leaving now." His hand shaking, Matt slammed the phone back in its cradle and turned to his son. "I'm sorry, buddy, I-I have to get down to the hospital."
Jeff pouted. "I thought you said you weren't working tonight."
Matt felt panicked. He didn't want to lie to his youngest child that the emergency had nothing to do with work, but he also didn't have the heart to tell him what he had just heard. He bent down. "I promise, we'll do this another night. What I have to do now is extremely important. I'll go ask if your brother will take you to get a movie."
Jeff frowned and eyed his father. "You don't look so good, Dad."
As if Matt's prayers were answered, Mike entered the kitchen and walked to the fridge.
"Mike!" Matt said. "I—I need you to look after your brother for me. I have to get down to the hospital."
"Why?"
"Look, there's no time to explain. I'll call you later. Just please, I need you." At that, Matt knew he couldn't last another second. He grabbed his coat and keys.
"Whoa, Dad, what's going on?" Mike asked, concerned.
"I'll talk to you later, boys. I promise." And he was out the door.
Mike stood there, still stunned by the shaken look in his father's eyes. He didn't like it at all.
Beat after ordering around his employees at Starbucks for seven hours straight, Carlos Rivera was ready to settle down with a beer and his Sports Illustrated. That was, until his wife would order him to do something else.
After a few minutes, Carlos felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind, and a familiar perfume scent filled the air. "In case you didn't realize, we really didn't get to finish before," a voice whispered seductively into his ear.
Carlos tried to hold back his smile. "I don't know, Mare. I'm still reeling from this afternoon."
"You're not trying to turn me on with resistance again, are you?" Mary teased.
"Yeah, I am!" Carlos tossed the magazine aside and turned around. He wrapped his arms around his wife's waist and pulled her over the back of the couch. Mary squealed in surprise. "You know, I like you better as a firefighter than a flight attendant. I won't count out this sexy physique." He ran one hand up her bare leg.
"There's plenty more where that came from," Mary declared, stroking his back as she pulled him on top of her.
After a few minutes, they were ready to move it to the bedroom. Carlos lifted Mary off the couch, and she willingly entwined her legs around his waist. Just as he was walking away, the phone rang, startling them both.
"Damnit," Mary said. "We better check who it is. It might be one of our sons." She tried to get down, but Carlos refused to let her go. Instead, he walked over to the phone so she could pick it up. "It's Matt," she said as she inspected the caller ID. "Oh well, I'll call him later." She put the phone down. "Now, where were we?" Carlos smiled.
Just as they were about to continue, the answering machine suddenly beeped. "Mary? Carlos?" Mary stopped again, shocked at how shaky and desperate her brother's voice sounded. "Listen, if you don't mind, could one of you meet me at the hospital?"
This time, Mary got back on her feet and reached for the phone. "Matt? It's me. What's wrong?"
"Oh, thank God. It-It's Sarah. She had a heart attack on her way to the airport, and I don't want to tell the kids yet."
Mary's eyes widened. "Oh my God. Is she okay?"
"I don't know." Matt sounded close to tears. "I just can't wait down there alone. Can you come?"
"Of course. I'm leaving right now," Mary promised. She hung up the phone and turned to her husband. "I've got to go to the hospital."
"Why?" Carlos asked. "Is it Sarah? Or one of the kids?"
"It's Sarah. She had a heart attack. They don't know anything, but it doesn't sound too good."
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"No, you're gonna have to pick up Logan and Charlie. I'm sorry, I know this is a change in plans, but my brother needs me."
"It's okay, I'll take care of it. Call me when you have some news."
"I will. Thank you, honey." Mary hugged him, and headed for the door.
Whoever had coined the phrase that nightfall was the time of the defeated couldn't have expressed it better.
Matt walked into his apartment, hanging his head low. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in his bed and hide from the world. He felt way too sick to his stomach to be moving. But he had some explaining to do.
Mary walked in behind her older brother and closed the door. She wished she could say something to comfort him, but he seemed extremely far away. She herself was too shaken to know what to say.
Matt stood in the middle of the living room with his hands in his pockets, dreading that one of his children would soon walk in and demand to know what was going on.
As if in response, Abby came in. "Hi. When I got home from my date with Henry, Mike said—Dad? What's wrong?"
Mary stepped in. "Honey, we have some . . . news for you. You need to go get your brothers."
Seeing the expressions on her father and aunt's faces, Abby seemed inclined to obey them. "Uh, sure, they're watching a movie in Jeff's room."
When she was gone, Matt found himself staring into space, his lip trembling. He hadn't realized that the rest of him had been doing the same until he felt Mary but a steadying hand on his back. She then had him sit down on the couch behind them.
It was all Matt could do not to pick up the lamp on the table beside him and smash the window with it. Better yet, he wished he could shatter it with his bare fist. After all, no pain could possibly compare to what he was feeling in his heart.
Just as he had been expecting, all three of his children entered the family area a few minutes later. Matt willed himself to look up and into their curious, unknowing faces.
"Okay, Dad, Aunt Mary, you better tell us what's going on right now, or I'm gonna call Mom and ask for her secret techniques."
At the word Mom coming from his daughter's mouth, Matt could barely conceal a wince. "Uh, actually, th-this is about Mom."
"What?" Mike immediately questioned. "Are you guys splitting up? Did you cheat on her? Is that why she suddenly had a 'pediatric conference' in Boston on a Friday night? Cause I swear, if you did-"
"Mike," Mary softly interrupted her nephew. "Listen to what your dad's trying to say." She turned to her brother, who she saw had buried his face in his hands.
"Dad, you're scaring me!" Jeff said, sounding close to tears.
Mary put her hand on Matt's shoulder and decided that she needed to take it from there. "Guys," she began, trying to hold back tears. "I'm afraid that you're mother . . . she had a heart attack. And she didn't make it."
"What?" Mike exclaimed.
Jeff started crying. "No," he whispered. Being the son of two doctors, he knew exactly what Mary was talking about. He then ran to his room. Abby stared at her father, heartbroken, and then went after her little brother.
"How did this happen?" Mike demanded, his voice hoarse. "You're lying!" He then left as well.
"Mike." Mary stood up, but didn't go after him.
Matt would have given anything to erase what he had just seen. He realized that he would gladly experience his children's pain for them, even along with his own. He buried his face in his hands once again, not caring that his sister could see he was crying. He didn't care about anything at the moment. Yet, at the same time, he didn't have a choice.
Abby entered her brother's room on shaky legs, and immediately spotted him lying face down on his bed. Jeff's back was shaking, and muffled sobs could be heard. Abby went to him and sat on the bed, willed herself to stop trembling, and began rubbing his back.
Jeff lifted his face, and allowed himself to bury himself in his sister's arms. "This isn't fair, Abby," he cried.
Abby could feel her heart breaking, and began crying as well. "I know," she whispered, gathering him close, and not bothering to stop the tears from flowing.
Mary turned to her brother, not knowing what to do. It seemed that she would have to be the strong one. She sat down next to him and rested her head in her hands, staring ahead. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"What can anybody do, Mary?" Matt said tearfully. "My wife is dead, and my own kids won't even let me comfort them."
Her heart aching for him, Mary put her arms around him. "Matt, they're in shock," she said gently, rubbing his heaving shoulders soothingly. "And so are you. What you need is some time and some rest." Matt only nodded. Mary held him awhile longer, and then whispered, "Do you want me to go check on them for you?"
Matt nodded again. "Thanks," he answered, his voice barely a whisper.
Mary put the blanket on the couch around him, and slowly stood up. She crept down the hallway to Jeff's room, deciding to check on Matt's youngest son first. She cautiously opened the door.
The light was still on, but Jeff was sound asleep, on his big sister's shoulder. Tears were still evident on the younger boy's face, and her niece's expression was also distraught, even in sleep.
Mary tiptoed over to the bed and covered the both of them with the blanket at the end of Jeff's bed. She brushed a stray strand of auburn hair off of Abby's face, and wiped the remaining wetness off her nephew's cheek.
Next, Mary went to check on Mike. This time, the room was completely dark. Worried, she searched for Mike, following the sound of soft crying, and finally spotted him curled up in a ball by the window, which was open. Air was blowing the shades in, and, coupled with her nephew's quiet sobbing, triggered an eerie sensation.
Mary walked over to the boy, so as not to startle him. "Mike," she whispered softly, bending down.
She could now hear that Mike was murmuring something quietly. "Mom . . ." he uttered through broken sobs. He sounded half-asleep. "Mom, don't leave me . . . please . . ."
"Come on, sweetheart," Mary said soothingly, wrapping her arm around his waist and holding his arm with her free hand. She slowly hoisted him to his feet. She refrained from saying, "It's Aunt Mary," so as not to disturb his trace and upset him with reality.
"Mom . . ." Mike stumbled as they began walking, leaning heavily on Mary. It broke her heart that he appeared to think she was Sarah.
"Shh, Shh, it's okay . . . come on, you're going to bed."
Mike sniffled, still breathing heavily as Mary laid him down on the bed. She sadly recalled that her nephew was no longer a child, and she couldn't carry him in her arms and lull him to sleep with singing. It also wasn't a simple injury, like a skinned knee, that she was trying to soothe. It was a deep, traumatic wound of the spirit that would likely never heal.
Once Mike was settled and his whimpering slowly subsided, Mary leaned down to kiss his brown hair. Ever so gently, she removed his shoes and covered him with what she realized was his baby blanket, which she had found on his easy chair.
Mary then reluctantly left him and softly closed the door, deciding that she needed to check on her brother. Then, startled, she realized that Matt was sitting on the floor against the wall by his son's door, hugging his knees to his chest. Mary bent down beside him.
"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," Matt murmured without looking up. "I know Charlie's coming home tonight. And Logan probably needs you too."
"Matt." Mary touched his chin and turned his face toward her. She bit back a wince as she stared into his pained, bloodshot eyes. "I'll stay for as long as you need me to. Don't worry about more than you have to. Carlos is there for Logan, and I'm sure I did Charlie a favor by not taking him through the dreaded routine of dinner and desert with Mom."
Matt smiled briefly at her small joke, but his face immediately crumpled back to an expression of anguish. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Mary," he said desperately. "I-I can't even will myself to go to sleep without her, let alone be there for my kids. How can she be gone? She was fine this morning. Everything was fine . . ."
"I know," Mary whispered, sitting down. She hugged her emotionally exhausted and traumatized brother again, and, with his hands covering his face, he leaned into her, sobbing again. "I'm sorry, Matt." Mary felt tears gather at the corners of her own eyes. "So sorry."