Me: I'm suing cause I want the characters.
JK: What exactly are you suing with?
Me: (looks in pocket) Crap.
JK: (Triumphant) I thought so.
In conclusion, these characters are still NOT mine.
Reviewer Shout Out: Thank ya much for reviewing my story. I didn't know it was going to be as funny as yall say it is, seeing as I have a sarcastically weird sense of humor. I try though, because this is supposed to be a light fic. Although, I'm not sure I'm portraying the amount of hatred that Hermione and Draco should have at this point in their lives, but I'm not about to explain their hatred for each other in a poetically long paragraph that you get in angsty fics (I have nothing against those fics cause I read a lot of them). And, I'm especially thankful for reviewers who have given me criticism without being mean to me. Those of you who love it and compliment it and want me to continue, you make my day! And even though I only have ten reviews, I'm gonna continue cause I love ya all! Tell your friends to read this story!
Warning: Spoilers of fifth book in here.
Monday
"You know, I'm still wondering why we have double Snape and double Slytherins on a Monday each year," groaned Harry, playing around with his porridge.
"There won't be that much of them since this is NEWT level. And plus, we all need it for our career tracks," I pointed out, happily peeling my orange.
"We actually get a class with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff," Ron stated.
"But we don't have Defense Against the Dark Arts until Wednesday. Why?" groaned Harry again, dramatically putting his hand up i the air.
"You know our schedules change up a lot. It's like that one week when we got Potions for four days. No one even bothered to show mercy and tell us why," I explained.
Ron was about to say something when someone yelled, "Hermione."
I turned to see who it was.
"I need you for a second," Zacharias said when we made eye contact.
I looked at Harry and Ron and mouthed 'huh' before I left with Zacharias.
"So what do you need?" I asked few minutes later.
"It's not what I need, although I do like to talk to you, it's what Justin needs," Zacharias explained.
"Thanks," I said smiling at Zacharias. He lingered a bit longer before leaving. After that, Justin walked up to me out of nowhere. Why do people always do that? It freaks other people out.
"What do you need?"
"Can you put me with Victoria or Terry for patrolling?" he asked immediately.
"On Tuesday?"
"Yeah."
"That would switch me to be with you on Saturday. It can't work," I replied.
"Why not?"
"Because my patrolling partner won't agree-"
"You mean Ron?" he interrupted.
"Well, yes. And plus, I thought you'd be happy with Hannah," I replied defensively.
"I am it's just-"
"You're not breaking up with her, are you?" I asked incredulously.
"I'm thinking about it," he replied, ashamed.
"Why?"
"She's just... not what I need right now," he replied lamely.
"What do you need then!" I yelled. Hannah was my friend, and I wasn't about to let this idiot ruin her happiness.
"Someone that is just...not her," he replied lamely. Insensitive bastard.
"I'm telling-"
"I don't need to be told," a quiet voice said behind Justin. Once again, why do people do that? She came out of nowhere too! Anyways, Hannah walked forward. "Thanks for standing up for me," she said to me. She turned to Justin. "And thanks for wasting my time!" she yelled, slapped him, and ran off.
And to add more to the chaos, Malfoy strolled into the scene. "Didn't know Abbot could do that. Maybe I should give her a go," Draco stated thoughtfully. Justin rewarded him with a punch and a dramatic walk out.
"Dumbass," I said while kicking him and walking off.
"Meeting tonight, after dinner," he chocked out. He sounded pained...this was so laughable.
"Whatever, I yelled back and waved over my shoulder.
Potions
"Today, we will be working on a metamorphic potion. More specifically, one that changes into the person you most admire in the world," explained Snape in the nice voice that was between a growl and a bark. It's one of his charms. "And don't even bother groaning about your partners you receive," he added. "Potter, Zambini. Weasley, Abbot. Granger, Malfoy-"
This came as no shock because we were always partners. It was his turn to move anyways.
7 min. later
"You're only supposed to put 2 pinches of fairy dust," he lectured. It had been going great until step two.
"You know, if you took your elbow off the book, then you'd know it was three pinches," I corrected.
He rolled his eyes because he knew he was wrong.
"So what is the meeting about?" I asked.
"Well it's not a meeting for everyone. That's is not until next week. This week, we, meaning you and me, have to plan a day that would be best for the Christmas Ball and the Graduation Ball," he replied through gritted teeth. He must really take being wrong hard.
"Sounds easy," I shrugged nonchalantly, knowing it was pissing him off. "What does it say next?"
"Two dragon scales," he replied almost bitterly. I looked over at the book and saw that it said...two dragon scales. "Don't trust me to read directions, Mudblood?"
"Actually, I don't trust you in general. But, if you want to be more specific, then yes," I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
"You could've just said no," he muttered.
I rolled my eyes and turned back to the potion. I stirred it clockwise three times and waited until it shimmered silver. That took about fifteen minutes.
"Can we test it now?" he whined.
"Sure, go ahead," I said holding a flask out for him.
"I said we-"
"Yeah, but you didn't say which one of us should go first," I pointed out.
"I shouldn't have to try it. And besides, I like the way I am so I wouldn't change into anything," he reasoned.
"Well, I would change into my mum...watch." I drunk the potion and turned into my...mom.
"Ok then," he said finally and gulped down the potion. I would just like to point out that he had a hard time doing this.
Anyways, first...his hair got darker...then, his skin got paler( if that was even possible)...after that, his clothes got darker as well. When his transformation was complete he turned into...Snape!
The whole class, me included, gaped...rudely.
"Professor, I think you've got a twin," observed Goyle while scratching his head. Yes, he is doing full sentences now.
Snape just rolled his eyes and swiftly went into the room with his secret stash.
"You know, I always knew the greasy hair didn't just run in the family," I heard Harry whisper to Ron. Ron snickered, and so did I.
Just then, Snape came back out of his room. "Drink this Mr. Malfoy," he instructed through pursed lips.
Malfoy, in turn did what he was told and then left the room. Of course, Snape let him, and nobody else cared...except Pansy.
After Dinner
"We have Quidditch to go to," informed Harry before he ran off with Ron.
"See you after we're done," said Ron smiling back at me.
I lingered to see them leave, then went off on my merry little way to go see Malfoy. When I got there, I found Malfoy on one of the seats in front of the fire.
"Tell me, was it Weasley or Pott-Head that made you late?" he asked. He sounded like he had a knife ready for me to run into.
"Both," I shrugged. Then I added, "Get over it, Malfoy."
"It's not everyday I turn into Snape and an object of ridicule," he retorted.
I looked at him for a moment and started laughing.
"My point exactly," he murmured.
"Since we aren't exactly the best of friends, I have a right to laugh," I said between giggles.
"Only a Mudblood would go so low," he retorted.
"You do the same thing," I remarked.
"But I'm a pureblood. I was bred to look down at you," he said in the I- am-better-than-you-are tone of voice.
"Egotistical bastard," I insulted while scribbling something down.
"Language Mudblood. I don't want my ears to get dirty," he warned.
"That was really lame," I commented dryly. I gave him the piece of parchment that I wrote on. "Here are the dates I think are best for the Balls. Do you agree?"
"Why not? Arguing will only keep me in here longer," he replied lazily.
"You really don't like me, do you?" I asked.
"You're right I don't," he replied icily and left the room.
I left shortly after him. And as I reached Gryffindor Tower, I looked around for Harry and Ron. They weren't there, so I decided to wash and get my homework done. I had been slacking off lately.
A few minutes later, I got done with Charms and was about to start on Potions. Then, a pair of hands covered my eyes.
"Hi Ron," I said nonchalantly.
"Hi Herms," he replied. Harry waved from behind him.
"So, what's up?" they asked in unison. It's freaky how they do that.
"I was about to go to sleep," I responded. "Another day, another history lesson."
"All the more reason to stay up. You can sleep in Binn's class," urged Ron.
"I know, but we have Professor McGonagall tomorrow, and you know you two always-"
"What?" asked Harry slightly offended.
"Are late to her class,"I finished.
"So, it's not like five or ten points would make that much of a difference," Ron argued.
I glared. "Guys, I'm just tired. Doing homework after you plan with Malfoy is not a good habit to get into."
"Ok, calm down, Mione," soothed Harry. "Could you give me my extra ink bottle before you leave?"
"Yeah, it's in my purse," I said while reaching for it. After a few seconds and an impatient outburst from Harry, I said, "I think Ileft my purse downstairs."
"Go get it please. McGonagall will kill me if I have to ask her for another one again," pleaded Harry.
"Only for you darling," I drawled.
"Never do that again," Harry advised before I left.
Work Room
I opened the door to the workroom and started to search. I immediately found it by my desk. But that wasn't the only thing I found.
"You know, it was quiet before a piece of filth came in," Malfoy commented nonchalantly.
"Talking about yourself is not going to boost your self esteem level," I warned. "I'll leave your highness to, oh my gosh, you're doing...HOMEWORK!"
"Think what you will Mudblood. My studies are important to me just like they are to you," he snapped.
"Really, I always thought-"
"Daddy dearest paid for me?" he finished.
"Exactly," I responded stupidly.
"Well, he doesn't. Now, can you leave so I can finish?" he asked coldly.
"All you had to do was say please," I said in a cheery voice. That was another thing that made him tick. Before he could say anything, I left the room.
Gryffindor Common Room
"Here is your inkpot, Harry," I said extending my arm.
"Thank you dearest."
I glared.
"What took you so long?" he asked suspiciously.
"Malfoy was down there doing homework," I replied. At this comment, Harry gasped and looked like he was going to hyperventilate, and Ron had his jaw to the ground and looked like he was about to cry.
"You're kidding," they said in unison. See there they go again.
"Nope, I'm not. Then he saw me, and we got into another fight," I explained.
"Oh, well I'm guessing you got the last word?" asked Ron.
"Of course," I replied. "Now can I go to sleep?"
"Why of course Madame," bowed Ron.
I gave both of them a hug before leaving to go to sleep.
And that was chapter number three. I didn't make you wait that long now did I? So, I hope you liked it. For those of you who like Malfoy, I just wanted to put him through pain in this chapter. It's not all bad though because it helps the story move along. Constructive criticism is welcomed but not required. You can just praise me in your review (jk).
4th chapter preview: The bet is here! It's what the summary was describing! More Snape! The chapter will be a little shorter than normal. Finally, DADA! Happy reading and review please!