Ok sorry this chapter has little stuff about Carlisle! I needed to get Esmes current situation established! He'll be in future chapters! I hope you like! Please RR!
Thanks!

OH! And BIG thanks to twilight lexicon!

So I was to marry Charles. He was well off and would be able to provide me with a good life. I should have been thrilled, but I just couldn't be. I didn't dislike Charles Evenston but he wasn't exactly who I had in mind for a husband. I still dreamt of someone else…

It was really, very pathetic that six years later I could still remember everything about Doctor Carlisle Cullen perfectly. If he only knew what an impact he had had on me. If only anyone knew. All these years my feelings for Doctor Cullen had been kept a secret. How foolish I was to still think about him. I had known him for only two days. It couldn't be love, could it? Whatever it may be I really did need to get a grip on reality and accept that nothing would ever happen between Carlisle and me. It was completely absurd that I even allowed myself to hope. I had not heard a word from him since the day he left. I doubted that he even remembered an insignificant girl like myself. It really was a waste of time to let my thoughts linger on him. Doctor Cullen was gone, and I was to be married in a matter of months.

I was twenty-two and had supposedly grown into a beautiful young woman. Mother always took great pride in my rich caramel colored hair and my bright green eyes. I hardly considered myself beautiful, but apparently I wasn't too unfortunate in appearance. Charles Evenston was sought after by many young women in my region of Columbus, yet he chose me. Still I had another man constantly on my mind. If I loved Carlisle why was I to marry Charles? Well, I had hardly any say in the matter. In fact, when Charles first proposed I declined but over a brief amount of time Father and Mother pressured me into accepting him.

Charles was a respectable man and my parents adored him. They couldn't be more excited about whowas to betheir future son-in-law.

So over the next few months preparations for the wedding were made. Charles and I were constantly together (unfortunately). He continued to like me more and more. I was still not very fond of him, but what could I do? So finally after stressing and planning to extreme degrees, my wedding day finally arrived.

I somehow managed to squeeze into the frilly, white dress my Mother had made for me. I stood in front of a mirror, staring at someone I didn't know, and someone who I didn't want to know. A young woman about to be married should have been shining with delight, but the only thing I could feel was despair. My Mother then walked into the room distracting me from the stranger in the mirror.

"Oh Esme!" Mother exclaimed. The newly discovered octaves in her voice made chills creep up my spine.

"You look beautiful!"

I smiled half-heartedly towards her. I admit, I did look stunning, but how much greater my beauty would have been if I was about to marry someone I actually loved. I would have hadan actual grin on my face, and my heart would feel like it would burst with happiness, but instead I had plastered a faint smile to my face and my heart felt like it was declining in size.

Mother came to me and grabbed my hands.

"Oh Esme! You are going to be so happy with Charles," she pulled me into her arms and held me affectionately. I hugged her back. So many feelings surged through my veins. She and Father were the reason I was about to marry Charles, but my heart was filled to the brim with love for my Mother. Our embrace was interrupted when my Fathers head poked through the door of my dressing room.

"Its time," he grunted. I wondered what he was feeling. He seemed so apathetic. I was a little disappointed.

My Mother gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the room. I walked towards my Father and took his arm.

That day was the worst day of my entire life.

The whole wedding experience is supposed to be wonderful. Walking down the aisle, pledging your vows, saying "I do", it is all supposed to be joyful and memorable, but with every move I made that day I felt like I was dying. I could hardly say the two simplest words; I do, without breaking into tears. Miraculously, I somehow managed it.

So my new life had begun. I hardly allowed myself to do so, but I hoped that I could be happy. I fear I allowed myself to hope far too soon.

When Charles and I had a crowd to impress he smiled and would offer me his arm. He was the perfect gentleman in public, but behind closed doors it was a completely different story.

After we were married I met the real Charles Evenston. He would stay out late every night, doing who knows what, and come home drunk. When he was under the influence of alcohol he was absolutely terrifying. He out-did me in strength and size so it was almost pointless in trying to defend myself. He would hit me with such force that I would hit the floor with a thud.Once he hadhit me to the point when I was immobile he would slump off to bed. I do not know how many nights I lay curled up in a corner of a dark room crying silently.

I told my Mother and Father of the horrors Charles made me live through. The only thing they told me was to keep quiet about it and be a good wife. I was crushed. It was now very apparent that there was not one person in the world I could rely on.

My life had taken a turn for the worst. I lived in fear and was constantly aching from my latest beating. Then one day Charles came home early. He was not drunk. I was extremely surprised. He held an envelope in his hands.

"Esme," he said quietly. I didn't move a muscle, I didnt breath. my pulse quickened. I had no idea what he would say.

"I've been drafted to go fight in the war."

I stood up and walked to him. Tears streamed down both of our faces. What he wept for, I don't think Ill ever know. Would he really miss beating me that badly? I however wept tears of joy and inwardly thanked God.

Meeting Carlisle was the best day of my life, but the day Charles was drafted for the warwasa close second,but as discovered long ago, good things never last.