Running Before You Can Walk

The brilliant white swirl of light around Ron's head flashed before dissipating and Harry felt himself shudder as he realised that all the grey patches he had seen every other time Neville and Kalra had attempted this spell had been drained away leaving a pure clean mist evaporating away around his best friend's mind.

Harry took a step closer as Neville and Kalra shared a hopeful glance between the two of them. Hermione stirred in her chair, disturbed by the intense flash of light no doubt, and her eyes reluctantly cracked open.

"What's going on?" she mumbled to Harry with a yawn before seeing Healer Kalra standing on the other side of the bed smiling at her and she sat up straight and wiped her eyes, "Oh sorry sir, I'm off duty and..."

"It's alright Miss Granger. Mr Longbottom and I were just here to work on Ron again," the healer smiled.

Harry moved around behind Hermione to grip her shoulders firmly from behind while he stared at Ron's still vacant face nervously.

"Did you come to try another spell then?" Hermione said sadly.

Neville swallowed and looked to Kalra who beamed at gave him a nod.

"You do it Mr Longbottom," he said quietly.

Neville cleared his throat and swished his wand at Ron.

"Ennervate!"

The revival spell hit Ron in the face and Harry gripped Hermione's shoulders so tightly he was amazed she didn't cry out in pain. He knew why she hadn't made a sound though; she was in shock. They watched as Ron's breathing became uneven and he scrunched up his face a little as he rolled over in the bed and got comfortable before dropping back off to sleep.

Neville fell into a chair that Kalra had just conjured behind him and looked at his wand, which was shaking in his hand, before putting his hand to his face and whispering something that sounded like an exclamation of relief to himself. Hermione took one of Ron's hands in hers and spoke in a timid little voice.

"Ron? Are you awake Ron?"

Harry's heart beat faster then he thought was healthy as he saw Ron's fingers curl and tighten around Hermione's very briefly before going slack again.

"Oh my God!" Hermione gasped as he eyes welled with tears.

"It's alright Miss Granger," Kalra said with a warm smile, "he's going to be exhausted for a while so let him sleep a little alright?"

Hermione nodded excitedly while still holding on to Ron's hand for dear life.

"I should," Harry began to say but his vocal chords seemed to be on strike, he cleared his throat and tried again, "I should contact his family."

"I'll do that Mr Potter, you stay with your friends," Healer Kalra said as he summoned Harry's chair from it's position on the other side of the room and guided it over to him until it bumped him gently on the back of the knees, knocking him into it so he was now sitting beside Hermione.

"Healer Kalra," Hermione called after the departing wizard shakily, "thank you so much for not giving up on him."

The man smiled a wonderful white smile through his jet black beard and gestured towards Neville.

"Don't thank me, thank Mr Longbottom there, he worked it all out and convinced me which way we had to go."

The healer stepped out and closed the door behind him while Hermione looked across Ron's bed at Neville and sniffed.

"Thank you so much," Hermione whispered.

Neville shook himself out of his state of relieved shock enough to smile at her and heave a weightily sigh before running his hand through his hair as if he had just finished a rigorous potions exam.

"Yeah mate," Harry said hoarsely, "I owe you. For the rest of my life I owe you okay?"

"Don't be silly," Neville mumbled as he blushed slightly.

"I'm bloody serious mate," Harry said with a slightly stronger voice now, "Whatever you need any time for any reason I'm there for you okay? They told us he was gone. They told us that was it and if it wasn't for you he..."

"Harry don't," Hermione squeaked.

Harry put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her while still staring at Neville intensely. He smiled at the trainee healer and Neville nodded back at him before looking at Ron.

"He's my friend too y'know?" Neville said quietly before getting up and walking over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Harry called after him.

"My shift's not over for three more hours," Neville smiled over his shoulder, "I've got patients to see."

Harry watched the tired looking boy step outside and close the door after him as quietly as he could.

"They're lucky to have you mate," he mumbled to himself.

Over the course of the next few hours Weasleys came and went, all hugging each other and Harry and Hermione before practically falling to their knees in worship of Neville and Healer Kalra whenever they came in to check on Ron's status.

Ron himself was still very weak and very tired. Every once in a while he would open his eyes a little and smile a hint of a smile at whomever his eyes first focused upon before drifting off into another deep sleep again. When Ron had opened his eyes the last time and seen his mother burst into tears with joy at the sight of his twinkling blue eyes blinking into focus in her direction he had moved his lips and tried to ask what was wrong before making a sighing sound and sleeping again.

"He forgot he couldn't talk again didn't he?" Fred said with a sad smile.

"Yeah," Harry nodded as he reciprocated the hug Ginny was giving him.

Ginny would reach for him every time Ron came back into consciousness, her desperate need to be physically reassured as well as emotionally that her brother had come back to them for real, and Hermione was finally letting all that bravery and optimism she had built up inside her crumble away now that she knew she'd got her wish at last. Now she could worry and weep and almost disappear into Charlie's strong arms as he hugged her and tried to calm her down.

Ron hadn't been active enough to take any water just yet so the re-hydration spells had to be administered again. Soon the family dispersed and made their promises to the sleeping Ron that they'd come back and see him tomorrow. Mrs Weasley planted a big wet kiss on his forehead just before she left with her husband; they were the last two, other then Harry and Hermione, to leave Ron's side, and Ron gave a tiny wave with his right hand while still seeming to be asleep.

Ron's muscles hadn't been used for three weeks now and he was going to regain his strength very slowly so Hermione informed Harry. It was early in the evening when Ron made Hermione almost jump out of her chair and hit the ceiling when he lifted his hand lazily and pointed at his eye and then to Hermione before giving her a half hearted thumbs up and smiling. His eyes were already falling closed when she laughed and wiped her eyes.

"It's good to see you too," she said before lifting his hand and kissing the back of it.

Ron seemed to force his eyes open again with considerable effort and moved his free hand in a downward motion.

"Yeah Ron," Harry quickly interjected while Hermione wiped her eyes again and let out a weary giggle, "we understand you're tired mate, there's no hurry okay? You get some rest and we'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

Ron smiled as his eyes closed again but they just seemed to be blinking very slowly rather then falling heavily into sleep. He shook his head and pointed idly at his two friends.

"Us?" Hermione chuckled.

Ron nodded.

"Well yeah we're tired too," she nodded, "but it's okay. We're staying."

Ron seemed to take a couple of deep breaths in and out before setting his face into a half hearted look of determination and shuffling his body over to one side of the bed.

"Ron no," Harry said fearfully, "don't try to get up just yet."

But Ron wasn't trying to get up, he was trying to move over, his arms were still like lead it seemed and it was hard work but he almost managed it. He stifled a deep yawn and patted the small space at his side he had created while looking at Hermione through half closed eyes. Harry smiled and Hermione settled down as best she could at Ron's side and pulled him into her so his head nestled upon her chest and both her arms curled around him. Harry reached over for the spare blanket Hermione had been using and draped it over her. She smiled at Harry gratefully and he took his seat again without a word.

Hermione lay with Ron in silence for a while before she whispered to him.

"Do you remember me doing this the other night as well?"

Harry saw the almost undetectable shake of Ron's head.

"Did you hear any of us talking to you all that time?" she asked again.

Once again Ron shook his head just a little.

"It doesn't matter Hermione sighed, we were all doing it for ourselves anyway."

Harry sat in nurse Stour's office and filled her in on Ron's status.

"I'm so relieved Harry," she said with a long exhalation as she sat back in her swivel chair, "I kept thinking it was all my fault for letting him come back to work when all those tests didn't manage to find the cause of his collapses."

"Join the club," Harry said with a rueful shake of the head.

Ron had been staying awake for longer periods recently and he and Hermione were working on building up his muscles again. His flexibility had still been pretty good due to the fact that Hermione was bending and flexing his arms and legs while he was unconscious all that time. He wanted to go home but Neville and Healer Kalra wouldn't hear any of it. Mrs Weasley had even mounted a campaign to get Ron living back at the Burrow but Ron dug his heels in and declared that he'd rather remain at the hospital then take a backwards step back to his childhood home.

His mum had put on a brave face about it but it really hurt her not to be able to coddle him the way she wanted to.

"So Ron was asking after Jess. I wondered how she was doing."

"She's fine," Stour nodded, "the visions are still coming hard and fast, still the same thing. It's Ron she's seeing isn't it?"

Harry looked away and nodded.

"So she's seeing him being killed and she's just put him into a coma with the touch of her hand..."

"On his arm," Harry interjected, "it's only when she touches the scars on his arm. I don't think this is Jess' fault. I think her seer abilities activate something in Ron's scar tissue that ends up hurting Ron."

"Well all the same Ron was fainting when Jess wasn't anywhere near him wasn't he?"

"Yeah but Ron's brother Percy thinks that the magic you've been so sure Ron was carrying in him is in his scars. The collapses were probably down to the sapper draining something from his wounds. They're mind injuries even though they're on his arms y'see nurse Stour and..."

"That's two reasons for Ron not to return to work here when he finally recovers," she said glumly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you both off Harry. I can't risk my therapist's life like this."

Harry lowered his head and nodded.

"Ron's healer team told me to tell you the same thing. He can't come back, he knows, they told him. They didn't cure this whole problem with the scars; they only drew him out of the coma. I can't say when exactly he'll get better, if ever. I haven't even been able to tell his family the whole story about that message he wrote yet."

Nurse Stour got up and walked around her desk. She crouched before Harry and gave him a brief hug before staring purposefully in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Harry, I know you've both been through so much, and it's such a shame because you were making such a difference to these patients. Would you believe that Jess herself, terrified of the magical world and vowing never to return to it again, tried to walk out of here to visit Ron at St Mungo's when she heard the prognosis that he'd never wake up?"

Harry's eyebrows lifted so high that he thought they'd never come down again.

"She did?"

Stour nodded with a sad smile.

"She might actually be able to be around magic one day and before you two came here I'd never have been able to suggest it to her. Be sure to tell Ron that when you see him won't you?"

Harry nodded.

"Would it be okay if I went and said goodbye to Jess nurse Stour?" he asked.

"Of course, she's been frantic with worry, I'm sure she'd love to hear about Ron's improvement."

Hermione wandered into Ron's room with a packed lunch for both of them and froze with sheer pleasure at the sight of her boyfriend sitting up in his bed with the headphones on, flicking through a quiddich magazine and sniggering silently to himself about something in the article he was reading.

She shook herself out of it and marched across the room to sit at the foot of his bed and set the lunches down between them. Ron smiled at her and closed the magazine. He lifted the headphones off his head and she caught a brief snippet of North London Ska music before he switched off the CD player.

"Listening to Madness are you?" she grinned.

Ron nodded as he tidied the clutter off his bed so Hermione could spread the lunch things before them. He pointed at the CD case and gestured to himself before holding both thumbs up and rotating them around each other in tight circles.

"They're your favourite? You mean you've played them all?" she said with surprise as she fanned through the selection of CDs she had brought him what felt like years ago.

Ron shrugged and twirled his fingers before pointing them at himself and gesturing to the room around him.

"Yeah, I know, there really isn't a hell of a lot else to do in this place all day long is there?"

Ron stared at her and blinked. He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. He tapped his thumb to the side of his head and pointed at her before pointing to his wrist and spinning his finger in circles over and over again.

"You know I was here for hours because somebody told you or because you remember yourself?" she asked, knowing that Ron's memory of his entire time unconscious was blank and staying blank.

Ron looked at her sternly and tapped the side of his head with his thumb again and pointed directly into Hermione's chest, right where her heart would be. She felt like grabbing him and snogging him back into a comatose state but she held back, he was still very fragile despite his cocky demeanour these days.

"Yes well, let's eat shall we? It's my only chance before my shift ends at eight o'clock tonight."

Ron smiled as he looked away from her and picked up the cool bottle of pumpkin juice and tried not to let her see him struggling to twist the cap off. His strength was improving every day but exertion really did wear him down fast.

"Maybe you should get your head down for a few hours while I'm gone?" she suggested before she took a bite from her sandwich.

Ron scoffed at this suggestion as the lid finally came loose and he took a tiny sip from the bottle. He pointed at himself and motioned upwards with both hands.

"I know you've only just managed to sit up," Hermione chuckled, "but don't push yourself too hard with this Ron. It's okay to take a rest when you need it."

Ron put his thumb and forefinger to his eye and pinched them in a closing motion before gesturing over his shoulder.

"You promise?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

Ron rolled his eyes and drew a cross over his heart. Hermione laughed and leaned forward to kiss him. She still got shivers every time she kissed him and felt him kissing her back. As they parted Ron picked up the cheese croissant in front of him and began picking at it. His appetite was just as dominant as it ever was but it took almost no food whatsoever to fill him up at the moment. When he first stared eating for himself again he would only have a couple of bowls of soup per day, then he moved on to something more substantial but only once a day. Now he was taking three very small meals a day so he was definitely doing a lot better.

On the hydration side of things he was drinking like a fish but not in the massive gulps he normally did. His throat was still a little out of practice with swallowing big mouthfuls. Hermione watched as Ron took a further three small sips from his bottle and put it to one side. By the end of the lunch hour he'd have polished it off completely.

Ron held both hands in front of his stomach before pointing at Hermione and then tapping two fingers onto his open palm.

"Well we're working on Neville's specialty today and you wouldn't believe who they've given us as our brain trauma project?"

Ron shrugged and popped another small portion of croissant into his mouth.

"Lockheart," Hermione said with great annoyance.

Ron nearly choked.

"Oh my God Ron," Hermione yelped as she slapped him hard on the back while Ron forced the pastry down and cleared his throat with a series of coughs, "It's not that funny!"

Ron pounded on his chest and took a deep breath before shaking his flushed head and smiling with great mirth. He pointed at himself and brought his fingers together.

"No you cannot come with me!"

Jess had her arms around Harry as soon as he walked into her room so fast he had to wonder if she had regained her sight.

"Oh Harry I've been so worried, he mustn't ever come back here, you tell him from me. Don't ever let him come back here you hear?"

"Whoa Jess, calm down this wasn't your fault," Harry said as he patted her on the back.

"No you don't understand Harry, I know he's the one, he's the one in my visions isn't he?"

"We don't know that Jess."

"I know it!" she screamed into his face before letting him guide her backwards into a chair, "And I've seen more Harry. I've seen that woman burning him and I've seen the blood and the lightning and now I'm seeing a man with dark hair and scruffy stubble hurting him too. I described it to a patient and he said it sounded exactly like the sapper. The magic sapper Harry!"

Harry was stunned into silence at this revelation. Harry had felt sure that the sapper was nothing but a moody sod that seemed to know that his gift-cum-curse was harming Ron so did all he could to stay away from him. Now Jess and her visions were saying he was involved somehow?

"The sapper puts his hands on Ron and it's like my head is screaming Harry. You can't ever let Ron near him, promise me," Jess demanded.

"I promise Jess, I swear to you he won't be coming back here again okay? He's still... He's not ever coming back here again so don't worry."

Harry winced as he realised that Jess had picked up on Harry stumble.

"He's still what Harry?" she said nervously.

"He's still recovering, that's all."

"Harry you sound all wrong what is it? What's the matter with him you said he was better now?"

"He was, he is," Harry stammered, "he woke up and he's getting his strength back and he'll be able to go home soon."

"You're keeping something from me aren't you?"

"His head, his brain is still messed up and we're not really sure how to fix it just yet so Ron's going to have to see the healers most days until they figure out a way to...to..." Harry didn't even know what everybody was trying to do.

"Take the weight off his mind?" Jess completed his sentence for him.

It was ten minutes past eight when Hermione opened Ron's door and peeped inside. Percy was putting on his cloak and Ron was curled up in a tight ball sleeping, literally, like a baby. She smiled and let the door swing closed behind her. As it clicked Percy jumped and clasped his chest dramatically.

"Oh Hermione you made me jump," he puffed while stooping to pick up his briefcase, "I was just heading home."

"Sorry," she smiled as she approached Ron's bed, "How's he been?"

"Talkative," Percy smiled, he's been letting me sign back to him, I'm working for a deaf minister now as his official translator, I just got security clearance so I can hear all the top secret stuff he hears...well, you know what I mean?"

Hermione laughed and patted Percy's arm.

"I know what you mean. Congratulations Percy, that's great."

"Well," Percy shrugged modestly, "talking with Ron just helps me stay on the ball."

"And that's the only reason you like talking to him is it?" Hermione said with a degree of sarcasm.

Percy smiled and then adopted his most haughty expression.

"He had a visit from the mediwitch to go through his strengthening exercises, he did really well but it wore him out. He's been sleeping for an hour now."

"Can't sign when he's sleeping can he? And yet you're still here Percy," she teased.

"Yes I am," Percy said with a barely concealed smile before giving Hermione a formal nod and heading out the door, "Goodnight Hermione. Don't steal all the covers will you?"

Hermione's jaw dropped open and she glared at the closing door in shock. She staggered over to Ron's bed, still in a state of shock, and noticed that his lips were curling mischievously.

"Were you listening to that?" she demanded of her 'allegedly' sleeping boyfriend.

Ron's eyes were still closed and he was still snuggled in his content sleeping position but his head gave a single nod.

"Well I'll just go then shall I?" she said as she folded her arms.

Ron's eyes opened a little and he lazily moved his hands in front of his stomach before signing the letter L.

"He's still as dappy as ever. I have about a dozen of his autographs if you want one?"

Ron's eyes closed again and shook his head while putting his hand to him chin and moving it away. Hermione perched on the edge of the bed and stroked Ron's hair contentedly. Ron pulled the fingers of both hands away from each other and pointed at Hermione before moving his head to kiss her hand softly.

"I missed you too."

She shuffled herself onto the bed and the two of them curled into each other. She kept stroking his hair idly while listening to him breathe slowly and evenly.

"So how was physical therapy today?" she whispered.

Ron didn't answer. He was asleep already. Hermione smiled and closed her own eyes.

"Mr Weasley I really don't think you're ready to go home just yet," healer Kalra was saying in a state of semi panic as he watched Ron gathering up all his things and stuffing them into a plastic bag.

"Listen Ron I know you're feeling better now and you're much stronger and everything but your head is still in the same state as it was before all this happened and we've got to keep an eye on you," Neville tried to explain the situation as best he could without infuriating Ron too much.

Ron put his hand on his chest with his fingers splayed wide and a look of great disgust before moving his palm away and gesturing around the room with it.

"I hate it here," Harry translated glumly.

Ron pointed his hands into himself before pointing upwards with his index finger while the other hand crossed over it from front to back. Then he gestured towards himself again, put his little finger to his chin and pulled it away sharply before moving his hand in front of his exasperated face and jerking it away from his head and stomping away to pull on his jacket.

"I'm lonely and I'm bored out of my damn skull," Harry said as he rushed over to Ron to try and talk him out of checking out prematurely.

Ron shook off Harry's hand as soon as it tried to pull him around to face him.

"Ron please, I know you're not trying to make things worse for yourself. I know that you'll rest just as well at home as you would here and I know I'll be there the whole time to look after you but you're not on the mend Ron. You shouldn't confuse feeling better with actually being better!"

Ron turned on his best friend and looked irate. He held both hands before his stomach before rubbing them together and moving his hand away from ahead of him. He put his wrists together and jerked them downwards before gesturing wildly around him at the walls of his room.

Harry looked down at him feet; there was no answer to that question.

"What was that?" Healer Kalra asked Neville and Hermione.

"How can I be happy with a future stuck in here?" Hermione translated sadly.

"Look Ron," Neville began as he stepped in to take over the pleading friend duties on Harry's behalf, "I know you're frustrated to be doing nothing and I know that you're also annoyed that you're out of a job because of this problem but how will making the problem worse make you feel any better?"

Ron pointed at himself and stroked his upper arm with his little finger before pointing at himself between the eyes. Then he put his hand to his chin and moved it away followed by tapping the side of his head with his thumb. Neville seemed devastated by this and Harry looked on the verge of throwing up. Ron pushed between them both and found his way blocked by Hermione who folded her arms and seethed with rage and hurt.

"Don't you ever say something like that again Ronald Weasley," Hermione growled, "You are not weak minded, you are suffering from a magical brain trauma and everybody in this room is trying to give you some relief from that.

Ron averted his eyes from her and she grabbed his chin forcefully and made him look at her.

"You're the lucky one Ron. You got to sleep through those three weeks but we didn't and it was awful!" Hermione's resolve began to give way to her emotions.

Ron's head dropped and his shoulders slumped as he rubbed his knuckles against his chest before twirling his finger at the side of his head and kicking the bedpost with his foot in annoyance.

"I know Ron," Hermione said, much softer this time as she hugged him to her, "I know you feel like you're going insane but I don't want you running before you can walk as far as this is concerned alright?"

Ron broke away from Hermione and heaved a deep sigh before looking at her with pleading eyes and gesturing through the window and then making a triangular shape with both hands.

"I want you to come home too Ron," Harry said as he got his second wind, "but not before you're ready."

"Harry's right," Hermione said as she put her hand upon Ron's cheek, "Neville didn't go to all that effort finding a way to wake you up just so you could get right back to damaging yourself again."

Ron almost choked on his own incredulity as he backed away from Hermione and waved his arms outwards before pounding them into his chest.

"No one's saying this is your fault!" Hermione huffed.

Ron didn't seem able to look at any one of them as he slumped down on to his bed and rested his elbows upon his knees while he stared at the floor. Hermione's desperate gaze fell upon Harry who took a deep breath and stepped up for his next round with Ron. he crouched down before his troubled friend and tried to get him to meet his eyes.

"Ron I want you home too. I want that great new life we were building for ourselves back just as much as you do, more so even because the fact that you don't have it is all my fault," Ron's head finally lifted and he glared at Harry, "Yes it is Ron! The thing is we can get another job. We can get another chance at that life when you're better and you're not are you?"

Ron pointed at himself desperately and rubbed his hands together as if he were warming them in front of a fire.

"That's the problem Ron," Harry said sadly, "you're not as good as you feel. It's just waiting to hurt you again."

Harry saw something that both relieved him and destroyed him at the same time. He saw Ron give up. Neville saw it too and walked back over to Healer Kalra without a single word and tugged him by the sleeve of his robes outside. Ron stood up and made a halfhearted gesture with his arm before walking his fingers along his palm and fanning his face.

"Yeah I think fresh air will do you good. D'you want me to come with you?" Harry smiled.

Ron shook his head and strode over to the door without a sideways glance at Hermione.

"Ron I'm sorry," she whimpered as he reached the door and turned the handle.

Ron looked back at her and raised his eyebrows. He let go of the doorknob to tap his fingers on his open palm and then close and open his fist as if letting something go. He then made a pinching motion away from his throat patting himself on the chest and stroking the underside of his chin with the back of his hand.

As Hermione's single sob cut through the tense silence Ron flung the door open, stepped through and slammed it behind him with such ferocity Harry could've sworn he heard the wood splinter.

"At least he's strong enough to slam doors again eh?" Harry said with laboured optimism as Hermione turned and ran into his arms.

"We've got to find out what's doing this to him Harry before it crushes his spirit."

Harry hugged his trembling friend and cursed the temperament of fiery redheads. He closed his eyes and replayed Ron's parting words in his mind.

What price is freedom? I wish I could afford it.

How can such an independent mind do this to itself he wondered? Harry whispered into Hermione's bushy hair.

"We'll find a way to give him his life back, I promise."