'It's for the best,' Charlie tried to convince himself. 'I'll be going back to Hogwarts in the fall and he's going to bloody Egypt. Things like that never work out.'
Charlie sighed and started up the stairs. A small noise caught his attention, however, and he paused outside Bill's room. All was quiet and he had nearly decided he was imagining things when the noise came again, a sniffle.
'He's crying?'
Charlie cautiously opened the door a bit wider and glanced in. Bill was lying face down on his bed, muffled sobs escaping from where his face was buried in a pillow. Something clenched in Charlie's chest and he briefly entertained the thought of joining Bill on the bed but dismissed it just as quickly as the thought had appeared.
Slowly closing the door behind him, Charlie turned and made his way down the hall towards his own room. Mere seconds later he flopped down onto his own bed and went over his list of reasons again.
'He's my brother. I'm going back to school in a few weeks. He's leaving for Egypt. He wants a family of his own. I want a family. We could never have our own kids for fear of some sort of deformation.'
A hesitant knock sounded at his door followed by a more confident voice.
"Charlie?"
"It's open, Kaden."
The door quickly opened and Bill's best friend stepped into the room.
"Do you know what's wrong with Bill?" The brunette quickly proved this to be a rhetorical question. "Let me tell you what's wrong with your dear brother. You have just ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. Do you know how long it took for me to convince him that it was ok for him to love you? That he wasn't some freak? He was scared to death when he realized he was gay. Do you have any idea what that was like? Then imagine falling for your little brother! You just had to go and kiss him, didn't you? Just had to make him think there was a chance."
"Kaden…"
"No! My best friend is in his room right now crying! Crying! He didn't even cry when he fell out of a three story window and broke his leg in four places!"
"Kaden! Shut up!"
Silence stretched on for a minute as both boys tried to gather their composure.
"Kaden, believe me, I would gladly be with Bill but there are so many reasons not to be. It's not just that he's my brother. I got over that a year ago."
"Then what's stopping you?"
"Other than the fact he's going to be in Egypt? Maybe the fact that I'll be in Hogwarts? I can't give him what he wants, Kaden. I can't be hundreds of miles away and still play the part of the loving boyfriend."
Kaden stood there for a moment before nodding and turning to leave. Just before he left, though, Charlie heard his whispered "Why not?" That question would be the one to haunt his dreams that night.