Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warning: Slash, get over it, or get out.
One-Night Stand
Part Two
Remus Lupin sat curled up by the window of his dorm room, watching the heavily falling sleet trace patterns down the panes as it melted on contact with the glass. The evening sky had darkened to steel grey, and the color made his chest hurt.
"Moony?" the hesitant voice from the doorway made Remus turn, and his eyes met a pair that matched the outside skies exactly. "I brought you some tea." Sirius cautiously approached the window seat and tentatively offered the steaming mug to the younger boy. "A spoonful of honey and a tiny bit of milk, just the way you like it."
"Thanks," Remus murmured, accepting the mug. He sipped and sighed appreciatively.
Golden-brown eyes turned back to the streaming window, wondering if his mood was really a reflection of the weather, or if, perchance, it was the other way around. He doubted both possibilities.
Heat radiating from nearby made Remus turn away from the window to see Sirius still hovering scarcely a foot away. He raised a light brown eyebrow with what felt like an excessive amount of effort.
"Is the tea all right?" Sirius asked in response to the questioning look. He was nervously twisting a lock of long black hair between his fingers.
Remus tried to smile, but found he couldn't. "Yes," he said instead. "It's very nice."
Sirius continued to stand where he was, fidgeting. It wasn't like him. He'd been behaving very oddly since That Night. He was anxious and antsy, unable to stay still. He'd been overly attentive, even more so than he was around the full moon. Remus had found it sweet that first day (perhaps bittersweet was a better term), when Sirius had been getting him food and tea or juice from the kitchens and books from the library, insisting that Remus just relax, but now, three days later, it just hurt. He wasn't sure why, he'd learned to deal with his crush on his best friend years ago, but now… Now it was killing him to be so close to what he wanted, what he needed, when he knew he couldn't have it. Now he knew what he had been missing, what he would be missing, and the knowledge was almost more than he could stand. Memories of That Night had been coming back in bits and pieces, taunting him with images and sensations that he craved to taste again. He felt like the wolf he turned into one night every month, trapped and restless and hungry.
Remus felt sick, like some part of himself was missing, and Sirius's constant presence was like a persistent reminder that he would never be whole again, while at the same time it felt like that missing piece had found him again, only to be torn away as soon as Sirius left the room. Remus didn't understand it.
"– get you anything?" Sirius was asking.
"What?" Remus came back to the present with a painful jolt.
"Do you want anything?" Sirius asked. He was still fiddling with his hair.
You, Remus thought, and wondered if he'd been acting as unlike normal as Sirius was. "No," he lied. "Nothing." He turned back to the window, vaguely feeling the desire to howl at the bleak sky.
He could still feel Sirius standing beside him and wanted nothing more than to throw himself into the dark-haired boy's arms. Somehow, he felt like the effort needed to do that would be less than what it was taking to merely keep breathing.
Melted sleet trickled faster and faster down the window as the still-frozen pellets fell faster and faster from a sky the color of grey eyes. It seemed the heavens wept icy tears from a frozen heart, and Remus wished his heart would freeze as well. Numb the pain.
Seconds ticked by into minutes. Remus was unsure how long he remained sitting in the window seat, staring out. At some point Sirius left, though where he went Remus did not know. He mourned the loss of the little bit of heat he could feel from the distance of friendship, and never noticed the drops of salt water tracing patterns down his cheeks to match the designs already outlined on the glass before him.
– – – – –
It was night. Cold. No longer sleeting, but still misty and wet. Remus stood at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, staring up at the red-lead sky through the skeletal branches of the bare trees.
He was waiting.
A hand on his shoulder made him jump and spin around so quickly he almost lost his balance.
White teeth flashed in the semi-darkness as Sirius smiled.
Remus wondered briefly why he hadn't heard the other boy approach, but then Sirius was pointing, and Remus turned, staring along the line of trees back towards the castle.
Several yards away from where the two boys stood, two dark figures slipped out of the trees and broke into a run. They were low to ground, running on four legs, tails streaming out behind them. Remus wasn't sure if they were dogs or wolves, but both were definitely canine.
They came closer to where the boys stood. One was a large tawny wolf, but there was something wrong with it, something very wrong; its tail was tufted, and the shape of the snout was off somehow… Remus gave a silent gasp as he realized it wasn't a real wolf at all, but a werewolf. But… but tonight wasn't a full moon. Somehow, though, he wasn't frightened, and, beside him, Sirius was completely unfazed.
The other canine was a dog, large and black, almost a shadow in the half-light. With a shock, Remus realized the dog looked exactly as Sirius did when he transformed. In fact, Remus would swear it was Sirius transformed – he would know that black dog anywhere – except for the fact that Sirius the human was standing beside him, still resting a hand on one of Remus's shoulders.
Dog and wolf ran side by side, so close their fur seemed to weave together. Then, just a few feet from where the two boys stood, the canines stopped, turned, and looked directly at the humans.
Remus froze. His entire being screamed contradictory impulses at him. He wanted desperately to move and place himself between Sirius and the werewolf, but his head told him to keep as still as possible, and hope against reason that they hadn't been spotted, or, if they had, that as long as they didn't make any sudden movements, the wolf wouldn't attack.
The werewolf's nose twitched, as though scenting the wind. It took a step closer, and then another.
Remus's body twitched as he fought not to move, praying to anything listening that the wolf would leave them unharmed.
The hand left Remus's shoulder, and Sirius stepped out from behind him, moving towards the tawny animal.
Remus's heart stopped and his breath caught in his throat. Petrified, he could only stand there and watch as Sirius and the werewolf approached each other.
Sirius went down on one knee before the wolf, offering a hand, palm up, as though to a regular dog.
Remus felt his eyes nearly start out of his head as, like a tame pet, the wolf gently sniffed the proffered palm, and gave it a tentative lick. Remus's heart started pounding again as he managed to exhale and then fill his lungs properly once more.
The black dog came up beside the wolf and nudged it with its nose. The wolf turned, and licked the dog's snout. The two stood there for a moment, nose to nose, as though kissing.
Sirius was suddenly back at Remus's side, and, in a single smooth motion, he pulled the tawny-haired boy against him in an embrace, covering Remus's mouth with his own.
What felt like a moment later, the two boys were back in their dorm room, shirts gone, tumbling onto Remus's bed, still kissing fiercely. Sirius hovered above the younger boy, bracing himself. Grey eyes looked into golden-brown.
Something made Remus turn away, and, standing beside the bed, stood the dog and the wolf. Remus met the wolf's eyes. Golden-brown met startling amber, and, in a shocking moment of clarity, Remus realized he looked at himself.
Forgetting Sirius was braced above him, Remus sat up with a cry…
The two boys never connected.
Remus was alone in his bed, sweating, heart pounding, breath ragged, staring around wildly in the dark. Searching… searching…
There was nothing. No wolf. No dog. No Sirius.
TBC
A/N: So, er… not actually where I'd been planning for this to go, other things were supposed to happen, certain things were not supposed to happen, but I was standing outside, and the sky was this creepy shade of red-grey (it was night, mind, still is, actually), and the dream sequence just kind of popped into my head. And my muses told me that was the end of the chapter, so sorry it's rather short, and not particularly dialogue-y. I do adore dialogue, but what can you do? Hopefully, the next part will return to what I'd been planning, I have notes and everything, which rarely happens. We shall see. Hope you enjoyed it despite everything. Please review!