Yo! Gamer here! Here with another songfic to entertain the masses! Hope you all enjoy this one, Simpson fans should! This will be staring Vector and various other characters singing the Homer Simpson classic, 'The Garbage Man Can' with a special appearance by music band, U2. Also showing is Kuruso, a character from my other Sonic fic, The Chaos Wars. He's an airman in the Station Square Air Force; so don't worry too much about anything else but that. Now on with the show!

Song: The Garbage Man Can

Performed by: Vector the Crocodile

Special Guest: U2

It's a beautiful day in Station Square. Birds are singing, the sun is shining, and garbage trucks are picking up stinky, stinky trash. Truly a beautiful day, unless you're the Chaotix…

"Ewwwwwww…" Charmy was staring at the completely full garbage can in the Chaotix's Detective Service office. The green blob on the top started to twitch. "Week 13… blob had learned to move on it own. Will he be taking over the world by next month? Only time will tell!"

"Charmy!" Vector yelled at the bee. "Get away from there! The blob just wants attention!"

"Vector…" Espio walked in, with an annoyed look on his face. "I thought you were gonna throw out the trash."

"Tried." Vector shrugged his shoulders. "Trash collectors cut off our service."

"What? They can't do that."

"They did!" Charmy shouted happily and flew around. "Vector and I threw trash at them one day and they told us to go expletive deletive off! MMMMMMFP!" Vector covered his mouth.

"Little brat! That was a secret!" Vector shouted angrily.

"Vector…" Espio growled. "You're the reason the room has stunk for 14 weeks?"

"No… it's the garbage's fault." Vector argued.

"Go to City Hall and apologize then." Espio ordered.

"I never apologize!" Vector shouted. "I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am!"

"Vector's da man!" Charmy shouted. He then sniffed the air. "Ewwwwwww… go say sorry!"

"I'm not gonna…"

Later…

Espio and Charmy were walking to City Hall. "It's been 4 hours…" Espio started to say. "That's more than enough time for Vector to apologize."

"Are you sure?" Charmy said while flying overhead. "Maybe he got 'em so mad, they fed him to a garbage monster!"

Espio chuckled at Charmy's silliness. "There's no such thing, Charmy."

They got to the large City Hall building and were about to go in. Suddenly…

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!"

"AHHH! IT"S THE GARBAGE MONSTER!" Espio screamed in rushed in.

"Espio! Wait!" Charmy chased after him. After busting through the door, running up several flights of stairs, knocking down so high ranking government officials, and a short trip to McDonalds (where Charmy got the Cheeseburger Kids Meal and Espio got salad and a water, I'm not saying Espio is fat or a health nut though, he just happens to like veggies and water is good for the body), they reached the trash commissioner's office.

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!

Espio kicked the door down and drew out several throwing stars. "Where is it? Where's the garbage monster!"

"Hey Espio!" Vector was sitting behind a fancy desk, looking at the door Espio destroyed. "You own me $32 for that door."

"Vector! You're alive!"

"Yeah… just watching Godzilla movies." He pointed to a small TV playing a Godzilla flick.

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR! Godzilla roared as he trashed Tokyo.

"I ever tell ya I was a stunt double for Godzilla?" Vector asked Espio.

"Why are you still here? Did you apologize?"

Charmy flew in playing with his Hot Wheels he got from McDonald. "Vroom! Vroooooom! BEEP-BEEP! SCREEEECH! And they the car could fly!" He threw it at Vector's face.

"Ow!" The car hit dead on in his eye. "You better watch it, Charmy! You're messing with the new Trash Commissioner!"

"You?" Espio was in disbelief. "They made you a government official?"

"Well 'they' didn't. It sorta happened. The sight of a giant croc scared the old commissioner so had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital."

"And you're the new commissioner because…"

"I was in the room in time. The written law says 'If a commissioner has a heart attack, whoever is in the room as it happened is the new commissioner effective immediately."

"Who wrote that law?" Espio scratched his head in confusion.

Just then, Gamerctm walked into the room. "That would be me!"

"What are you doing here?" Charmy asked him. "You're the author of the fic."

"Exactly!" Gamer nodded. "I can make any laws in this fic at any point. Like…" He pulls out a piece of paper and a pencil. He started scribbling on it. "'It is now illegal to walk down the sidewalk, whistling a blues song while carrying two chickens and a goose in your hands.' Done!"

"Is that ever gonna happen?" Espio asked. Gamer rushed past him and looked out the window.

"HEY!" He screamed at one of the pedestrians. "You better shut up with blues whistling! And drop the chickens and goose!" After a few moments… "Oh... now I'm pissed…" He jumped out the window and out the fic."

"That was weird…" Vector said looking out the window. Suddenly the phone rang, Vector grabbed it and answered it. "Hello? Ah, the new trucks are here? What about the new uniforms? Are they white and complete with shiny shoes? What about the choreographer? Did he train them right? Only one way to find out…" He hung up the phone. "I'm the greatest trash commissioner ever!"

Suddenly, 3 men in nice white dress suits, white bus driver hats, and black polished shoes walk in. "How do we look, Commissioner?" They all said at the same time.

"You boys look great! You look like a million bucks, and I only spent $100,000 a piece on those suits." Vector laughed, and so did the 3 garage men. "Enough of that! Do you guys know your job?"

"Clean gutters!" One of them said.

"Sweep driveways!" Another said.

"Wash Cars!" The last said.

"Great!" Vector pointed to the door. "Now get outta here!" All three left.

"You're having them do that stuff!" Charmy asked loudly, since he can't control the volume of his voice.

"Not just that!" Vector stood up and nodded. "We also rake leaves, wash pets, clean windows, change diapers… a few of the boys refused to do that, so I had 'em fired!" Vector grinned.

"It's great you're doing all this, I guess…" Espio explained. "But…"

Suddenly, Bono from U2 walked in. "Ey, there Vector. The other lads think we deserve some more cash. Whatcha say?"

"Well…" Vector scratched his chin. "I would usually say no… but how does 40 billion sound? Double the first offer?"

"You, sir, got a deal!" With that, Bono left.

"Why you giving money to U2?" Espio asked.

"Cuz we need someone to teach the garbage men to sing good." Vector said. "And U2 ain't to busy nowadays so…"

"You taught 'em to sing?" Charmy flew in front of Vector.

"And dance…"

"You taught them to dance, too?" Espio and Charmy were stunned. "Why?"

"Cuz I believe in excellent service. I took all the things I think a garbage man should do and made it happen!"

"But can they do all this stuff?" Espio looked at the budget plan on Vector's desk. "Says here you only have…"

Vector interrupted him. "If anyone can do this stuff, the garbage man can." Vector snapped his fingers and instantly, a nice white uniform appeared on him. "The Garbage Man Can." Suddenly, bouncy Broadway music starts playing and Vector dances to the window. Outside, several new shiny white garbage trucks are driving around. Garbage men are walking out of houses at the same time carrying cans of trash. Vector starts singing…

Who can take your trash out?

Stomp it down for you?

The men all stomp the trash deeper into the cans. Some start pulling out the bags and tying them closed while bouncing with the tune and smiling.

Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy too?

The Garbage Maaaaaaaaaaaan!

Vector dances back to his desk, while several garbage men start cleaning the floor and windows of the office. They start singing.

Garbage men: Oh! The Garbage Man Can!

Back outside, Shadow the Hedgehog is pushing a large cardboard box with 'USED PORN' written on the side. He looks around nervously as he pushes it to the curb.

Vector: The Garbage Man can, and he does it with a smile and never judges you!

A garbage truck drives by and two smiling garbage step out and throw the box in the back. They wink at Shadow and drive off, while Shadow chuckles and smiles sheepishly.

At Amy's house, she is holding a dirty diaper (don't ask why) while Tails and Cream are there, bouncing to the tune of the song.

Amy: Who can take this diaper?

She holds it out to Tails and Cream, who hold their noses and shakes their head. A garbage man appears in the window and takes it from her.

Garbage Man: I don't mind at all!

He leaves and Amy smiles. At another house, Kuruso is standing outside wearing a nice black suit. He has a hotdog in his hand and a large mustard stain on his shirt.

Kuruso: Who can clean me up before the big Air Force Ball? The Garbage Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Suddenly, several garbage men appear with water and rags and start wiping the stain off. Kuruso smiles and dances while they do this.

Garbage Men: Yes! The Garbage Man Can!

When they're done, they dance away. Outside a bar, the garbage men are cleaning the streets, gutters, and windows of all the buildings. Inside, U2 are in their underwear, sitting at the bar and drinking beer.

U2: The sanitation folks are jolly friendly blokes!

Courteous and easy-going!

2 garbage men are walking on the bar, mopping up some spilled beer.

Bono: They mop up when you're overflowing!

One whispers in Bono's ear and the entire band grins sheepishly.

Bono: And tell you when your ass is showing!

They all have plumber's cracks and pull their underwear up instantly.

In the streets, hundreds of garbage men and civilians are marching. The first four garbage men are carrying trashcans. Sonic's head pops out of the first one.

Sonic: Who can?

Knuckles pops out of the next one.

Knuckles: Who can?

Eggman pops out of the next one.

Eggman: Who can?

Oscar the Grouch comes out the last.

Oscar: Who can?

Vector leads the marching band and sings with the entire city.

The Garbage Man Can!

Tails and Cream runs to Vector's sides and marches with him.

Tails, Cream: Cuz he's Vector the Croc-man!

The city sings the big finish.

He cleans the Worrrrld foooooor yoooouuuuu!

The song ends and the crowds cheer. They stop when Espio and Charmy run to Vector in haste.

"Vector! Bad news!" Espio said while panting.

Vector looked at him confused. "What do you mean?" Charmy hands him a piece of people. Vector reads it and his eyes bug out. "THE CITY IS 82 BILLION DOLLARS IN THE RED?"

Suddenly, the entire city starts to gasp and complain. The garbage men are even more pissed. "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET PAID!"

Vector sees the city grabbing bats and 2x4s. "Uh… now listen…"

U2 are holding metal crowbars. "BASH HIS EYES OUT!"

"AHHHHHH!" Vector starts fleeing, while the crowd chase after him.

Espio and Charmy stand to the side and watch, while Gamer walks up. "What I miss?"

"Can't you stop this?" Espio asked him.

"Yeah… but I gotta get to the next song of this fic. The Ramones are getting pissed off from the wait."

"The Ramones? But they're dead!" Charmy half shouted, half asked. "How do you do this stuff?"

Gamer points to the very top of the fic page. "I'm the one who wrote this shit. I'm surprised no one's tried to hang me yet."

"Oh… it'll happen." Espio closed his eyes and nodded. "Someone's gonna get mad at you."

"Yeah…" Gamer scoffed. "They kiss my a…"

BONUS SONGFIC!

In Eggman's lair, the room was decorated with streamers, balloons, and other party favors. The robots all had on party hats and were celebrating Eggman's birthday.

Eggman sat in a chair and was looking sour. "Lousy birthday… I never get what I want…"

Bokkun flew next to him. "What do you want, your rotten-ness?"

"The Chaos Emeralds!" Eggman shouted, steam coming off his head.

"Oh… well I did get you something…" Bokkun held up a wrapped box, that Eggman snatched from him and tore open with excitement.

"Oh! I wonder what it is!" Eggman smiled as he opened the box. The smiled dropped as he pulled out his gift. "A tie… with a piano keyboard design…"

"Do you like it?" Bokkun smiled. "It's Italian!"

"Yeah…" Eggman grumbled under his breath. "Make a good noose for you, little cheapskate…"

A robot stood on a metal stage and spoke into the mike. "And so, for your listening pleasure… a special song for our leader, performed by the Ramones!"

And so, Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee Ramone walked on stage with their instruments, looking at the audience they were going to perform to in disgust.

"Ah…" Eggman nodded. "Maybe a little music will cheer me up."

Johnny took the mike first. "I just wanna say that this gig sucks!"

Joey took it next. "Hey, up yours Eggman!"

One, two, three, four!

The band started rocking out, playing some heavy rock music.

Happy Birthday to you! (Happy Birthday!)

Happy Birthday to you! (Happy Birthday!)

Happy Birthday… Eggsy…

Happy Birthday TO YOU!

They stopped and Joey took the mike again. "Go to hell you fat bastard…"

Suddenly, the entire robot party aimed their weapons and guns at them. "Hey! I think they liked us." Dee Dee said.

"Shall we kill them, sir?" Bokkun asked Eggman.

Eggman smiled evilly. "Do it slowly…" He handed Bokkun his new tie. "Use that on the lead singer…"

THE END! Seriously…

Hope you all enjoyed it! Remember to review please. And any songs you wanna see done, please tell me and I'll make it happen. You can also IM me on AIM. The name's Gamerctm. Seeya next chapter!