Autor's Note: You've waited this long you deserve two chapters, and this one's longer than the first due to pacing.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or affiliated with Inuyasha, however this particular story is M-I-N-E! :)
Believe in My Strength
(To the Mirror…again)
"Ah, it is a shame we could not stay longer. Your honorable mother was most charitable and welcoming," Miroku sighed as the group set out for a new destination.
"For once I agree with the taijya. Those baths were absolutely magnificent!" Sango nodded as she spoke.
Kikyou shook her head and smiled. "They were nice, but I must say, the convenience of a modern shower has its perks, as well."
"Agreed!" Kagome piped up, "It's been too long since I've soaked in a lavender scented bath and given my hair a decent shampooing!"
"That reminds me…Sesshomaru?" Kikyou called sweetly to the hanyou at the head of the group. One perfectly pointed ear swiveled around to the summoning, but the stoic man refused to turn. Kikyou made a face but continued to ask in a sugary voice, "With all the battles and my kidnapping taken place, it's been quite a while since I've been home, and you know my mother's bound to be worried."
A faint sigh could be heard from Sesshomaru's general direction, but the hanyou replied, "Do as you please."
"Oh, thank you!" Kikyou smiled with pleasure, then turned to Sango and asked if she could borrow Kirrara for the ride home. As the girl rode off on the fire neko, she turned back and shouted, "Don't worry, Kagome! I'll research that mirror for you!"
"Thanks Kikyou!" Kagome called back as she watched the two disappear into the sky. "This is frustrating," the girl grumbled to herself as she turned back to face the road.
Sesshomaru glanced at his companion out of the corner of his eye. "Why is that?"
"Hmm? Oh, it's just...I never realized how nice it was to have information at my fingerprints, until I was stuck without it."
"Hn, your world is…fascinating. Knowledge is freely obtained and easily accessed. Such a gift holds great value for those who wish to learn all they can."
Kagome stopped and stared at Sesshomaru with an unreadable expression. Sesshomaru, sensing the girl's hesitation, turned his head and arched a single eyebrow in question.
Kagome blinked a couple of times, processing. "Wait, hold on a minute! Have you been to the modern era?"
Sesshomaru finally stopped and turned to face her fully, their companions slowing to a stop as well. "I have," he said carefully.
Kagome's eyes widened to the size of saucers as her brain began supplying images of the hanyou walking around her time and looking even more out of place than Inuyasha did. All she could think to respond with was a severely unintelligent, "Huh."
"Sesshomaru has been to Kikyou's world quite a few times now," Miroku piped up. "He always has a book with him when he returns. I believe Kikyou said they were borrowed from a place called a library?"
"Hnn, I need to return them." Sesshomaru said thoughtfully.
Kagome was surprised by this. Not only had Sesshomaru visited her time, he seemed to go there frequently and make use of its conveniences. Kagome suddenly felt a little envious of Kikyou for getting to share in his experiences.
"I'm kinda surprised you like the modern era. I thought it would be a place that you'd wanna avoid because of the noise and the smell."
"I would not say I like that place, only that it's abundance of knowledge is an alluring asset." Sesshomaru then turned back to the road and began walking again, the others following his lead. "Besides, I have noticed that youkai are quite scarce in that time and I need to be prepared for that eventual outcome, however it may appear."
This gave Kagome pause. While she was aware that youkai did not really exist in her era, she had never given much thought as to why. Thinking on it now, all of her youkai friends should have been around in her time. There was only a 500 year gap separating her era, and youkai could very easily live well over that amount of time. The thought was deeply disturbing, and Kagome was starting to feel sick from the speculation that something truly awful could have happened to the youkai she had come to know and cherish.
As though sensing her turmoil, Sesshomaru turned to her and said, "There is no sense in worrying about a fate you have no knowledge of or control over. It is possible that the ones you care for have only hidden themselves in your time and do not wish to be found until the time is right. Believe in their strength."
The words struck deep in Kagome's heart, and instantly made her feel better. She smiled and replied, "You are also one of the ones I care for, you know."
Sesshomaru's lips quirked in a small smile. "Then believe in my strength, Kagome."
XXX
During Kikyou's absence, the shard hunters continued their search in the western countryside, stopping at a few villages along the way and taking care of any dangerous yokai that threatened the villagers. As always, Sesshomaru dispatched the enemies, Miroku bartered for room and board, and the girls gave spiritual blessings to the people, while enjoying the benefits brought on by hero worship. Kagome mussed that their way of life was almost like a routine and wondered if she should start writing down a schedule.
At that particular moment, Miroku was talking to the headman of the latest village he had managed to con their way into, and was currently using Sango's yokai wards as a great sales pitch for investing in the future. Kagome could tell it was taking everything in the miko's power to not roll her eyes at the taijya.
Well, his methods may not always be the most honorable way to get us a roof over our heads, but it sure beats us having to constantly sleep in the woods. Besides, if Sesshomaru of all people is ok with it, then why should I care.
Kagome glanced over at the hanyou, who was keeping a silent vigil a little ways off under the shade of a tree. His back leaned against the trunk and his eyes remained closed in calm concentration. Very slowly, he raised his eyes and immediately locked them with hers. As if she was compelled to, she started making her way over to Sesshomaru's lounging figure.
"Miroku's scams don't bother you?" she asked curiously.
"While lies are beneath me, his deceit is only thinly veiled and not enough to do much harm. Besides, if the villagers are foolish enough to be charmed by his empty promises, then I see no reason not to take advantage of the charity they so freely give."
Kagome couldn't disagree with his words, however she secretly suspected that Miroku's silver tongue had worked its magic on their stoic leader, getting him to see sense in the senseless.
Either that or Sesshomaru got tired of going in circles with Miroku regarding honor codes and morals. That taijya has a sharper tongue than any sword I've ever seen, that's for sure.
Kagome returned her attention to Miroku's bartering, as the two lapsed into an easy silence. Over the last few days the shard hunters had been so preoccupied with their routine that Kagome and Sesshomaru had not really had a chance to talk about all that happened during the full moon and the battle they barely survived.
Well, technically I didn't survive. I don't even know how to approach that topic, much less what Izayoi-sama said to me. Ever since we left her castle, Sesshomaru has been very quiet, which wouldn't worry me so much since that's his usual attitude and all, but I also feel like he's purposely avoiding being alone with me.
Kagome stole a glance at her companion from the corner of her eye. Even now he had a certain look about him that she just couldn't place.
Sesshomaru blinked almost lazily, then spoke softly, "I can smell your concern. Speak your mind, Kagome."
A longsuffering sigh escaped her lips, but her response was equally as soft. "I feel like you're avoiding me." She glanced at the remains of his left arm, and a new worry began to form in her mind. "Do you regret saving me?"
Sesshomaru's head jerked towards her and a look of utter shock covered his face. The emotion was so out-of-place on him that Kagome almost wanted to laugh. But just as quickly, the expression turned pained, and anger blazed behind his eyes. "This Sesshomaru would never regret that decision." His voice was quiet but laced with steel. He closed his eyes and turned away. "That you would even entertain the thought…"
"Then why have you been so distant?" she pleaded. Tears threatened to spill from the corners of her eyes, but she held them in check. She hated to force the conversation like this, but if things continued as they were, she was afraid something irreparable would happen to their relationship.
Sesshomaru slowly turned to face her, however it seemed he was looking through her rather than at her. There was a far-off look in his eyes as he gazed down at her. "I promised myself that I would protect you, that I would not let the past repeat itself." He placed a gentle hand against her cheek. "Yet I failed. You died, and I couldn't prevent it. Naraku will only grow in power and will come after you again when he discovers you are alive."
Something behind his eyes hardened, and he pulled away. His claws lightly brushed her cheek as his hand returned to his side. "I will find a way to send you back before that happens."
Kagome's gaze shifted to the ground. "What happened wasn't your fault. But…I have been gone a long time."
Izayoi's words came unbidden, "He knows you will leave, but he is not prepared for it. It is not your destiny to be with him."
Life was getting to be more and more unfair. First, she falls for Inuyasha, who's very much in love with and utterly loyal to Kikyou (her would-be past life). Then she's sent to this other world, where she finds someone who loves her for a change. But just as she begins to reciprocate those feelings, she finds out they are destined to be separated. Can't she just find her happily-ever-after and be done with it?
"Izayoi-sama and I talked while you were looking for Inuyasha…" Sesshomaru said nothing, though she knew he was carefully listening.
"She said we can't be together, and that we need to put distance between us." Her eyes finally returned to his. "I know she's right, but I feel like we're finally on the same page! I…when I was dying, I told you I loved you…and I meant it!"
The tears she had been carefully holding back were overflowing now, and quickly streaming down her cheeks. She covered her face in shame. "I feel so selfish. I want to stay with you…but I also want to go back! I'm so confused, and I feel like I'm just dragging your feelings along with me…"
Her body was shaking with sobs now, but a strong arm slowly wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her into the warmth of Sesshomaru's chest. She gripped his haori as her tears soaked through the thick fabric. His solid form grounded her, and a deep rumble began to sound in his chest. The gesture was oddly comforting.
After a moment, Sesshomaru spoke. "I am also selfish. I dread the day I must send you home, but I want these moments to continue for as long as time allows."
Kagome's lips quirked in a rueful smile. "Maybe we really are meant to be together." Kagome's hand released their tight grip on his clothes, but she continued to lean against him, breathing in his scent. She refused to forget this moment, regardless of the pain it would bring later down the road. Maybe Sesshomaru felt the same way.
"I want to be happy. I want you to be happy. Why does that feel so unachievable?" she sighed against him.
A soft snort rustled Kagome's hair. "You make me happy. While our time together may be fleeting it is still ours to do with as we choose."
Sesshomarushifted her so he could look directly into her eyes. "I choose to be with you, just as I choose to love you." His gaze moved skyward. "I do not know what the future holds, but…" The corner of his mouth lifted in a smug smirk just as his gaze returned to hers. "For the present, I can at least hold you."
XXX
Sesshomaru held his breath, waiting for her response. Just as he predicted, her mood lightened and her body shook with silent giggles. She pressed her face into his haori and gripped him tightly around his waist.
"That is such a you thing to say!" she laughed. Eventually she calmed and leaned her head against his chest again.
A comfortable silence fell over them and it was only then that Sesshomaru realized their companions and the villagers had long since retired elsewhere. He was thankful for this moment, regardless of how it started. Though what Izayoi had said to Kagome troubled him. He knew she was looking out for the both of them, in her own way, but Sesshomaru did not want to put distance between them. He knew it would be harder for him to let Kagome go if they continued on this path, but he would have regretted not exploring this new relationship with her more so. In truth, it was not even an option.
Sesshomaru remembered his father's relationship with his mother. He remembered the moment he realized just how much longer his father's lifespan was compared to hers…and yet he chose to love her regardless. His mother was but a moment in his father's life, yet he loved that moment with all his heart. Kagome was Sesshomaru's moment.
Suddenly, Kagome began to fidget, and a spike of worry wove its way through her scent. She looked up almost shyly. "There's something else that's been bothering me."
Sesshomaru inclined his head, encouraging her to continue.
"I'm not from this world…but I died here…I feel like that's really really bad." She paused for a moment. "My being here has already messed things up enough. Now I'm sure I've altered the space time continuum!"
As always, her choice of words was both baffling and utterly lost on him, but he could understand the meaning behind them well enough.
"Hnn, there may be consequences we are not yet aware of."
"Dammit…" she grumbled under her breath.
"Careful, you are beginning to sound like my half-brother."
"Hey! I've traveled with him for years! Of course his manners have rubbed off on me!"
"How unfortunate." The ghost of a smile appeared onSesshomaru'slips, and he marveled that she was the only one who could truly draw it out.
Sesshomaru's gaze flicked to the sky and he realized the sun was already close to setting. They had been there for quite a while.
"The hour grows late." he said softly.
"Hmm, can we stay like this a little longer? Just a little longer?" her voice was the barest of whispers and her body pressed slightly closer to his. Like this, he could deny her nothing.
"Do as you please," he whispered in reply. He lowered his lips to kiss her brow softly. She sighed in return.
They knew they were on borrowed time, but they had made their choice. They would face the consequences of that choice, whatever they may be. But they would face them together.